大家好 Hi everybody.
我们是"哈佛召回"组合 We are the Harvard Callbacks
想向教员和同学们 We have a special Valentine's Day message
传达一份特殊的情人节讯息 dedicated from the teaching staff to the students.
再也找不到比你更甜蜜的爱人 I will never find another lover sweeter than you,
比你更甜蜜 sweeter than you
再也找不到比你更珍贵的爱人 I will never find another lover more precious than you,
比你更珍贵 因为你我 亲如母女 more precious than you Coz you are Close to me you're like my mother,
你我 亲如父子 Close to me you're like my father,
你我 亲如姐妹 Close to me you're like my sister,
你我 亲如兄弟 Close to me you're like my brother
你是唯一 我的一切 You are the only one my everything
我会永远为你唱这首歌 and for you this song I sing All my life
我祈祷有人如你 感谢上帝 I pray for someone like you I thank God that I,
我终于找到你 that I finally found you
我祈祷 你也爱我 祈祷 And I pray that you do love me too Pray
你也爱我 that you do love me too
情人节快乐 Happy Valentine's Day!
早上好 Hi, morning.
请他们献歌时 You know, when I asked them to dedicate this song,
本来想选另一首歌 I had a slightly different song in mind.
但是…算了吧 But-- so be it.
我们确实爱你们 We do love you.
今天课程的内容 What we are going to talk about today,
是上节课的延续 continuing from last time
是这门课的基本前提 is or are the basic premises of this course--
"我们来自哪里 我们将去哪里" where we are coming from, where we are going--
从各个方面展开论述 laying down in many ways,
螺旋的基础 the foundation of the spiral that
我们将在本学期一起创建它 we are going to create for the next semester together.
上次我们讲到改变有多么困难 Last time we stopped, we talked about how difficult change is.
我们谈到"双胞胎研究" 举例说明了 We talked about the Twin studies that illustrate
Lykken和Tellegen提出的 that what Lykken and Tellegen said--
也许改变我们幸福水平 maybe changing our happiness level is as difficult as--
和试图改变身高一样困难和徒劳无功 and futile-- as trying to change our height.
然后谈到这些研究学者么犯的 And we talked about the error of the average and the mistake
一般性的失误和错误 that these researchers are making,
误解改变的本质 misunderstanding the nature of change.
因为如果一个人在改变 Because if someone changes,
问题已不再是"是否可能改变？" the question is no longer "is it possible to change"
而是"怎样才可能改变" but rather "how is it possible to change".
还谈到剑桥-萨默维尔研究 And then we talked about the Somerville Cambridge study
证明劳斯莱斯干预彻底失败 that show that literally the Rolls-Royce of interventions failed--
五年来 剑桥 哈佛和麻省理工的 5 years with the leading scientists,
顶尖科学家 研究人员 researchers, psychiatrists,
精神病专家和心理学家 psychologists from Cambridge, Harvard and MIT,
沥尽心血 带着美好的意图 putting their minds and hearts for good intentions
实施改变 但最终失败 to bring about change-- failure.
不仅没有实现正面的改变 Not only they have failed in bringing about positive change,
实际上是带去了负面的改变 they actually brought about negative change.
还记得吗? 干预组的酗酒比例 Remember?-- Alcoholism rates went up for the intervention group,
和对照组相比是增加的 compared to the control group.
未参与干预的对照组 The control group that joined no intervention actually
更有可能在二三十年后获得升职 were more luckily to advance in their workplace 20, 30 years later.
改变是困难的 So change is difficult,
但我们又说 but then we went over and said,
"Marva Collins实现了改变 "Well, Marva Collins creates change.
所以改变是可能的" So it is possible.
Martin Seligmen和Karen Reivich Programs by Martin Seligmen and Karen Reivich
及大量学者都成功地实现改变 and numerous others succeeding in bringing about change".
困难在于 And the challenge then is,
如果我们想成为实践理想主义者 for us, if our goal is to become practical idealists
就要理解是什么带来改变然后去做 is to understand what it is that brings about change and then do it.
传播理念 Spread the word.
传播研究的理念 Spread the word about the research.
即使研究并非总是传达好消息 Even if the research doesn't always communicate good news,
它传达的是行之有效的方法 it's about communicating what works,
可为的方式而不是空洞的梦想 what is real, as opposed to our dreams ,
渴望 希望 愿望 our desires, our hopes, our wishes--
那远远不够 that's not enough.
好的意愿 理想主义 好的意图是不够的 Good will, idealism, good intentions are not enough.
我们需要扎根于研究 We need to be grounded in research.
这正是Maslow的想法 And this is very much what Maslow has in mind
当他谈及类似的曼哈顿计划时 when he talked about the analogous Manhattan Project,
科学家 积极心理学家 当时的心理学家 where scientists, positive psychologists or that time psychologists,
社学科学工作者聚在一起 social scientists would get together
在流行学术领域中挑选出 and pick out the tip of the stem--
几种观念 the few ideas,
几个有效的项目 再复制它们 the few programs that work and then replicate them.
研究最好的 正如Mariam同学 Study the best and as one of the students here, Mariam --
课后找到我时说的 came to me after the class and she said,
"流行学术其实是要将杰出大众化" "the tip of the stem is actually about democratizing excellence."
我喜欢这个说法 I love that phrase.
将杰出大众化 Democratizing excellence--
研究最好的再应用在其他人身上 studying the best and applying it to the rest of us.
我们有了这样一个伟大的计划 Ok, so we have this grand scheme,
有了Maslow创造类似曼哈顿计划的伟大想法 grand idea by Maslow to create a Manhattan-type Project.
但是如果我不想参与计划？ But what if I'm not interested in going into one of these projects?
不想成为学者 What if I'm not even interested in becoming an academic?
只想做自己的事 我能否实现改变？ Just want to do things on my own: Can I make a difference?
答案是 绝对能够 And the answer is absolutely yes.
人若想在世间有所为 One of the most significant barriers
真正实现改变 to people doing things in the world,
面对的最显著障碍之一 to actually introducing change
是他们低估自己实现改变的能力 is that they underestimate their ability to bring about change.
心理学界有很多研究 There is a lot of research in psychology.
爱默生和莫斯科维奇是先驱 Primarily the people who started are Emerson and Moscovici
他们和其他学者都证明少数人 and many others who have done research showing how minority--
经常是一个人 如何实现重大改变 very often one person can make a big difference,
能实现显著的改变 can make a significant difference.
爱默生说 Ralph Waldo Emerson:
"人类历史是少数派 "All history is a record of the power of minorities,
和一个人的少数派的权力记录 and of minorities of one,
很多社会科学研究支持这个观点 "-- a lot to backed that up in social science research.
人类学家Margaret Mead说 Margaret Mead, the anthropologist:
"永远不要怀疑一小群 "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,
有思想 坚定的市民可以改变世界 committed citizens can change the world.
事实上 正是这群人改变着世界" Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
所有改变从一个人或一小众人的思想开始 All change begins in the mind of single person or a small group."
然后不断扩大 And then it expands.
问题是"它如何扩大" Now the question is "how does it expand"
以及为什么我们难以理解 and "why is it so difficult for us to understand,
我们能够做出改变这个事实 accept, assimilate and live according to the fact
并接受 被同化以及据此生活 that we can make a difference,
如果我们能了解我们需要理解的 if we understand that what we need to understand
是改变如何发生 is how change happens.
改变以指数级发生 Change happens exponentially.
我们与其他人的联系及他们与更多人的联系 Our connection to other people and their connection to others
形成了一个指数函数 and so and so create an exponential function
可以用你们熟习的 which explains for an example--
"蝴蝶效应"为例加以解释 that those of you are familiar with-- "butterfly effect"
一只蝴蝶在新加坡拍动翅膀 how a butterfly flapping its wings
理论上能在佛罗里达引起龙卷风 in Singapore can theoretically cause a tornado in Florida.
原因在于粒子的连续碰撞 Because on particle hits another and another and another.
它也解释了六度分隔理论 It also explains the phenomenal 6 degrees of separation:
我们都是关联和相互关联的 how we are all connected and interconnected
在一个潜在善的网络里 in a web potentially of goodness.
为了说明人类网络的指数本质 To illustrate the exponential nature of human networks,
我们来以笑为例 let's look at smiles.
研究证明笑有传染性 What do we know from research is that smiles are contagious.
别人笑会引起你发笑 Someone smiles-- makes you smile.
你发笑会引起别人发笑 You smile-- you make someone smile.
以此类推 And so on and so on.
即使路人与你擦身而过时 你没笑 You know, even some goes pass you on the street and you don't smile
表面上你没有笑 ostensibly you don't smile--
但你面部的细微肌肉 there are certain micro-muscles in your face
会收缩 让你感觉更好 that are moving that actually make you feel better.
笑是传染的 So smiles are contagious.
如果你的笑 Now if you smiled to--
感染了三个人 or make three people smile,
这三个人 and these three people--
每个人又引起另外三人发笑 each one makes three other people smile.
那九个人 And those nine people make three--
每个人再用笑容感染三个人 each one-- three other people smile.
只需要20度的分隔 Within 20 degrees of separation from you
从你用笑容感染三个人开始 initial smile to the three people,
全世界就会笑起来 the entire world will be smiling.
社会网络的指数本质 Exponential nature of social networks.
让别人感觉良好也有感染力 The same with making other people feel good--
恭维别人 complimenting people.
如果你能让三个人 If you make three people--
甚至四个人度过美妙的一天 or even better, four people a day feel good and they make--
他们会推展 让四人有美好的一天 they pay it forward and make four others feel good,
以此类推 and so on and so on.
只需要很短的时间 Within very little time,
整个世界都会感觉更加美好 the whole world will be made to feel better.
这是指数函数的本质 This is the nature of an exponential function.
笑和笑声是传染的 So smiles and laughters are contagious.
为了说明这一点 我会插播一段录像 And to illustrate, I want to show you a quick video.
（西班牙语） (Spanish) (The sentence shown on the screen at the end,
很难不笑 不是吗? "Dificil, eh?" means " Difficult, isn't it?")
我要再看一遍 Alright. I have to see this one more time.
报歉 Sorry.
今天讲座的主题是婴儿 So the theme of the class today is babies.
一会还有另外一段 We are going to see another one soon.
让我们先理解指数函数的本质 So let's understand: what is the nature of exponential function
以便理解"一"的力量 so that we can understand the power of one?
我想找个人和我作个交易 I'm looking for someone to make a deal with me.
交易是这样的 我要做的是要求你们 Here is the deal: What I am going to do is ask you--
纯属自愿 this is all voluntary,
可以不做 交易是这样的 you don't have to do it-- here's the deal.
我要求你们每天给我… I am going to ask you to give me each day--
还是我给你们吧 or rather I'm going to give you,
我给每个和我作交易的人 whoever signs the deal with me,
每天一千美元 连给30天 1000 dollars every single day for the next 30 days.
你们给我的是 第一天 And what you will give me in return is on the first day,
一分钱 one cent-- one penny;
第二天 二分钱 第三天 四分钱 on the second day, two cents; third day, 4 cents...
每天给我前一天的两倍钱 Every day, twice as much as the previous day,
从一分钱开始 starting with one.
谁愿意和我作这笔交易？ Who would like to make this deal with me?
我会在未来30天每天给你一千美元 Again, every day I give you for the next 30 days 1000 dollars.
你们要做的是在未来30天给我一分钱 What you'll do is every day for the next 30 days give me one cent,
第二天二分 然后是四分 八分 以此类推 next day two, four, eight and so on.
任何人?谁想做这笔交易? Anyone? Any takers?
一个人 One.
还有吗？ Looking for some more.
我少了三万美元 So that's 30000 down for me.
还有吗? 很好 Anymore? Ok, good.
好 是这样 Alright. So here' s the deal.
结果将是这样 Here is what will happen.
在第30天 我再给你一千美元 On the 30th day, I will give you another 1000 dollars--
你将从我这里一共得到三万美元 you'll have a total of 30000 dollars from me.
在第30天 我将从你那里一共得到 On the 30th day, I will be getting from you in total,
包括前29天 including the first 29 days--
不 在第30天 no, rather on the 30th day,
我将从你那里得到5368709.12美元 I'll be getting from you 5,368,709 dollars and 12 cents.
再翻倍 乘以二 Double that, times by two,
这将是我在一个月赚到的钱 this is the money I will be making in one month.
第一天一分钱 第二天二分钱… One cent on the first, two on the second, and so on.
很多人会觉得不可思议 For most people, it seems extraordinary
因为他们不懂指数函数的本质 because people don' understand the nature of exponential function
也不懂"一"的力量 and therefore don't understand the nature of the power of one.
再举一个例子 Here is another example.
开玩笑的 我放过你 Just kidding. I'll let you off the hook.
另一个例子 这个例子捕获了我的想象力 Another example. This captured my imagination--
在我小的时候 when I was a kid,
父亲给我讲象棋游戏的由来 my dad told me about the invention of the chess game--
有些人可能知道这个故事 some of you know the story.
象棋游戏的发明人 So the inventor of the chess game--
他在印度 去见当地的国王 he was in India, and went to the local king.
国王很喜欢这个游戏并说 The king was very impressed with the game and said,
"我要如何奖赏你?" 象棋发明者说 "How can I reward you?" And the chess player said,
"不必 真得不用奖赏" "No, it' OK really."
国王说"不 我想奖赏你 The king said, "No. I want to reward you.
我要怎样奖赏你?" How can I rewards you?"
于是象棋发明者说 So the inventor of the chess game said,
"好吧 我希望 "Ok. What I like is on the first block,
在第一个方格上 first square,
我想要一粒大米 I would like one grain of rice.
在第二个方格上 我想要两粒大米 On the second, I'd like two grains of rice.
第三个方格四粒大米 以此类推 On the third, four grains of rice and so on and so on.
那就是我的要求" That's my request."
国王问"你确定只想要那么多? And the king said, "Are you sure that's all you want?
我可以给你更多奖赏 I'm prepared to give you a lot.
这是一个很好玩的游戏" This is a wonderful game."
发明人说"我确定" And the inventor said, "Yes."
国王指示助手 So the king told his assistant to go and get the man,
去实现他的愿望 give the man his wish.
当他们开始计算 When they started to calculate
需要多少粒米填满所有方格时 how much rice would be need to fill up all blocks,
从第二格到第63格 all the way to 2 to the power 63.
他们发现米粒 They realized that the rice could
能厚厚地覆盖全世界 fill up the entire world with a thick layer.
再一次 误导… Again, misleading--
没有理解指数函数 因为我们不理解 fail to understand it because we don't understand
指数变化的本质 the nature of exponential change.
最后一个例子 Another-- last one.
你们认为需要折多少次 So how many time do you think--
你们面前都有一张纸 you all have a piece of paper in front you--
你们认为需要将纸折叠多少次 how many time do you think you need to roll over the piece of paper
才能碰到月亮? for the piece of paper to reach the moon?
月亮离我们24万英里 The moon, 240000 miles awaya from us.
需要折纸多少次 How many times do you need to fold the piece of paper
才能碰到月亮 so that you can reach the moon.
41次 41 times.
如果你们有一张纸 So if you can have a piece of paper here,
再在下课之前折叠41次 and you fold it 41 times by the end of the class,
你就能碰到月亮 you can reach the moon.
我不理解人类登月 I don't know why they make such a big deal out of
有什么大不了的 the person landing on the moon.
在我看来很简单 Seems quite simple to me.
得出的结论是 And here is the point.
我们低估影响改变的能力 We underestimate our capacity to affect change.
因为我们低估了指数函数的增长 Because we underestimate the growth of exponential function.
我们活着的每分钟都在影响世界和他人 We are influencing people and the world every minute of our lives.
问题是我们选择哪个方向 The question though is in which direction are we going to do it.
是成为推动改变的力量?深思熟虑？ Are we going to be a force for change? Be deliberate?
成为实践理想主义者? Be practical idealists?
还是只有好的意图但不付出 Or just have the good intentions without the effort
必要的努力发挥正面指数函数的作用 that's necessary to bring about a positive exponential function.
这门课的最后一份作业 The final project for this course,
是由你们做一次报告 as you know is a presentation that you'll give
选修和专修学生都要做 whether it's for the (?) students or the extension school students.
你们要准备一次讲座 You'll be giving a lecture to other people.
我们在组织课堂时 And when we put together the class,
心中就有这个想法 this is precisely what we thought about:
你如何影响改变 那些被你改变的人 how you affect change and those people whom you change
希望能进一步影响其他人等等 will hopefully influence others and so on and so on.
从许多方面 此想法取自电影"让爱传出去" In many ways, the idea was taken from the film "Pay it Forward".
我想插播一段片段 What I want to do now is show you a quick excerpt--
引出接下来的话题"让爱传出去" just the coming soon of "Pay it Forward",
为那些没看过电影的同学 for those of you who haven't seen it.
电影"让爱传出去" Because in "Pay it Forward",
深刻地描述了 they capture this very idea of
人类网络是指数函数的观点 human networks as exponential functions.
我们低估了自己影响改变的能力 We underestinmate our capacity to effect change
因为我们低估了指数函数的增长 because we underestimate the growth of an exponential function
如果世界只是个巨大的失望会怎样? What if the world is just a big disappointment?
除非你把在这世上讨厌的事物 Unless you take the things that you don't like about this world
翻转过来 你们可以从今天开始 and you flip them upside down and you can start that today.
这是我 That's me.
这是另外三个人 And that's three people.
我准备帮助他们 And I'm going to help them.
他们每人再帮助三个人 And they do it for three other people.
再每人帮助三个人 And they do it for three more.
但必须是很重大的帮助 It has to be something really big.
他们无法自己做到的事 Something they can do by themselves.
一个想法可能改变世界 is it possible let one idea to change the world
车坏了? Lost your car?
很敏锐的观察力 That's a keen observation.
我能帮你 I can help you.
你给我一辆崭新的捷豹但不要回报 You are giving me a brand new Jaguar and you don't want anything.
你可以称为陌生人之间的慷慨解囊 Call it generosity between two strangers.
你对我儿子说了什么 What did you tell my son
让他把一个流浪汉带回家? to make him bring homeless man into my house?
我有新闻 相信我? I've got a story, Ok?
Chandling and Moss的高级合伙人往外送新车? A senior partner of Chandling and Moss is giving away new cars?
把爱传出去 Just pay it forward.
帮三个人三个大忙 Three big favors for three other people.
不可能把两个人放在一起令其彼此喜欢 You can't just put two people together and make them like each other.
就是它 It's the one.
把爱传出去 Pay it forward. Pay it forward.
喜欢这个主意 Just like the idea.
你可以改变一个人 You could fix a person.
想进来留下吗? Do you want to come in and stay?
这很复杂 进来 - It's just complicated. - Come in.
本来就该很困难 Supposed to be something hard.
我不在乎你的烧伤 I don't care about your burns,
Eugene 如果那是你的顾虑 Eugene, if that's even what they are.
那是你顾虑吗? Is that what they are?
我不能 I can't.
我很难过 So sorry.
别说你有多为我难过 Don't tell me how sorry you are for me.
也许你害怕被拒绝 Maybe you are scared to get rejected;
我无法拒绝你 你变得太快 well, I can't reject you, you're too quick for me!
你还会向外传递爱吗? Are you still going to pay it forward?
为了我 再给她一次机会 Give her another chance for me.
要来不急了 You will miss!
我想穿那条绿色的裙子 I wanna wear the green dress.
不 你很香 No, you smell good!
真的? 是的 - Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah!
"把爱传出去"是洛杉矶兴起的一场运动 Pay it forward is a movement in LA, Mrs. McKenney.
别说笑 一场运动? - Come on! - A movement?
要是我们不改变世界 你会让我们不及格 So you are like flunk us if we don't change the world?
你可能只得一个C You might just scrape by with a C.
影响三个人 Impact three people.
每个再影响三个 以此类推 Each impact three others and three others.
经过20度分隔 Within 20 degrees of separation.
就能改变世界 整个世界 You can change the world, the entire world.
第三个前提 Premise number 3: .
内在因素和外在因素 internal factors versus external factors.
很多研究表明 There is a lot of research showing
基于外在因素改变快乐很难 how difficult it is to change happiness based on external factors.
对幸福的研究 Research on subjective wellbeing--
心理学家用这个词来描述快乐 the term that psychologists use to capture happiness essentially
已经进行了很多年 has been going on for very, very long time.
直至最近 多数完成的研究 Until recently, most of the research was conducted,
使用的都是问卷方式 was done using questionnaires.
很多人置疑问卷的 And many people rightfully so questioned the veracity,
真实性和价值 the value of these questionnaires,
因为它是主观的 because it is subjective--
我们是在测量真实的东西吗? are we measuring something real?
过去几年 Over the last few years,
呈现的情况是越来越多心理学家 what started to happen is more and more psychologists
使用大脑扫描 have been using brain scans for example;
使用功能性磁共振成像 脑电图及其他手段 they've been using fMRIs, EEGs, other physiological measures.
他们的有趣发现是 And what they found interestingly is that
两者有很大的关联性 there is a very high correlation
在所谓的客观手段 如大脑扫描 between the "objective" measures such as brain scans,
脑电图 功能性磁共振成像等生理学手段 such as EEGs, such as fMRI, such as physiological measures
和人们对自己的幸福的评估 and people's evaluation of their wellbeing--
换言之即快乐的主观水平 in other words, subjective levels of happiness.
两者有很大关联 这在很多方面 Very high correlation between the two which in many ways
给多年来进行过的研究提供了可信度 gives credence to the many years of research that has been conducted,
在拥有技术进行更全面的研究之前 before we have the technology to do it in a more sophisticated way.
我会和大家分析讨论各种研究 So the research I am going to share with you--
有些使用大脑扫描 some of it is taken using the brain scans,
其他是自我评估 other is self-evaluation.
两者同样有意义有价值 But again, both are meaningful as well as valuable.
我们会深入讨论研究的进行方式 We'll get more into the way that the research is conducted
当我们谈到冥想等现象 when we talk about phenomenon such as meditation.
或像是Richie Davidson 通过扫描大脑 Or people like Richie Davidson actually scanned the brain
显示八周的冥想项目 and showed significant changes
可以产生重要改变 as a result of an 8-week meditation program.
或年轻的Joshua Greene Or people like a very young Joshua Greene,
他对道德进行研究 who does a research on morality
显示大脑里有道德中心 and shows that we have morality centers in our brain.
手段更成熟 So it's becoming much more sophisticated,
更有趣 有趣的是 much more interesting and the interesting thing
它验证了许多至今通过不全面的方法 about it is that it verifies a lot of the research
所完成的研究的正确性 that has been done to date with far less sophisticated means,
像自我评估 such as self-repport.
Daniel Gilbert所作的研究 Research done by Daniel Gilbert
他教初级心理学的"有效预测" who teaches Psych1 on effective forecasting.
以下是他的一个研究 Here is one of his studies.
他所做的是去访问 So what he did was go to professors
接受终身职位审核前的教授 who were just before either getting the tenure decision:
他们要么得到要么得不到 so either they were going to get the tenure or not.
他问他们"你会多快乐 And he asked them, "How happy are you going to be,
如果你得到终身职位?" if you get the tenure?"
他们说"喜出望外 And they said, "Ecstatic!
这是我多年努力的目标 This is something I've working on for many years
这将会是 and this will be it.
将是梦想成真" This will be a dream come true."
"你会快乐多久?" And-- "How happy are you going to stay for?"
他们说"余生都会很快乐 And they said, "For the rest of our lives.
因为这是我们努力很久的目标 Because this is something we've been working for very long time.
它会让一切变得更简单 It will make everything so much easier.
我可以停止不成功便成仁的竞争 I can get off the publish-or-perish race.
我可以更加享受工作 I can enjoy my work much more.
这将改变我的人生" This is going to transform my life."
他问他们"如果得不到终身职位会怎样? And he asked them, "What happens if you don't get tenure?
如果被拒绝呢?" If you are rejected?"
他们说"我们会很难过 And they said, "We are going to be devastated.
这是我们多年来努力的目标" This is something we've been working for many, many years."
"那你们会痛苦多久?" And-- "How long are you going to be devastated for?"
"可能直到我们在别处获得终身职位 "Probably until we get tenure somewhere else.
即使到了那时 可能也不够" But even then, that may not be enough."--
如果在一所学校无法获得终身职位 Because once you don't get tenure in one place,
就没有可能在更高学府取得 you don't go up in terms of the ranking of the school--
经常是在别的院校获得 you very often would get tenure but elsewhere,
那些比拒绝你的学院 school that is not considered as good as the one
差一等的院校 where you were rejected.
所以那会让人难过很久 So it will be devastating for a very long time.
Gilbert再去访问他们 And Gilbert went to them at the moment
这时他们已知道终身职位审核结果 when they got the tenure decision.
有些得到 有些没得到 Some of them got them. Others did not.
他问"你们感觉如何?" "How are you feeling?" He asked.
得到的说 Those who got it,
"喜出望外 我们没从这样快乐过" "Ecstatic! Happiest we've ever been."
"你们的快乐会持续多久?" And-- "How long are you going to stay happy for?"
"余生都会倍感快乐 "For the rest of our lives.
我们成功了" We've made it."
然后他去找没得到终身职位的并问 And then he went to those who didn't get tenure and asked them,
"你们感觉如何?" "How are you feeling?"
他们很难过 They were devastated.
而且确信 And they were sure that
会难过好久 they were going to remain devastated for a very long time.
三个月后 他再去访问他们 And he went back to see them three months later,
六个月后再去 six months later.
Gilbert和他的同事发现 And what Gilbert and his colleagues found
几乎每一个人 was that almost to the person,
不管得到还是没得到终身职位 those who got tenure or did not get tenure
都恢复到之前的幸福水平 went back to their previous level of well-being:
如果他们之前是快乐的 If they were happy before,
六个月后也是快乐的 they were happy six months hence;
如果他们之前是不快乐的 if they were unhappy before,
不管他们是否得到终身职位 regardless whether they get tenure or not,
他们都是不快乐的 they were not happy.
换言之 情形看似这样 然后回到基础水平 In other words, it looks like this and went back to base level or;
或者看似这样 然后回到基础水平 it looks like this and back to base level.
他们对中彩票的人做了同样的研究 They did the same with lottery winners.
"如果你真得中了一千万美元 "What if you really win ten million dollars,
真得能让你更快乐吗?" will it actually make you happier?"
是的 更快乐一段时间并不长久 Yes-- for a while, but not for long.
西北大学的Philip Brickman做了这个研究 Philip Brickman，Northwestern University did this research.
经过六个月 After within 6 months,
人们恢复基础的幸福水平 people go back to their base level of wellbeing.
遇到严重意外的人 People in serious accidents with their paralysis
意外导致瘫痪 as the result of the accident,
经常地 一般性的… very often, usually--
再次强调 这是平均而言 again, this is all the average--
都会恢复到基础幸福水平 go back to their base level of happiness:
他们以前是快乐的 if they are happy before,
一年后 他们也会快乐 they will be happy one year after;
如果不快乐 将维持不快乐 if they are unhappy, they will remain unhappy.
极端情况对我们的幸福影响很小 Extreme circumstances make very little difference to our wellbeing.
伊利诺伊大学教授Ed Diener University of Illinois professor Ed Diener
就快乐水平作了大量研究 does a lot of research on happiness levels.
他自70年代开始研究 He has been doing it since the 1970s.
他的研究显示… What he shows--
他和其他人 包括诺奖得主Daniel Kahneman he and others including Daniel Kahneman, Nobel prize winner--
表明财富对幸福水平的影响很小 show is that wealth matters very little to our levels of wellbeing.
就像中了彩票 Just like the lottery
对我们是否幸福影响甚微 would make a very little difference to our wellbeing.
并不是说一个没有足够食物 Now this does not mean that a person who doesn't have enough food,
一个无家可归 流落街头的人 someone who is homeless on the streets here,
每个月多有一两千美元 gets an extra thousand or two thousand dollars a month--
那当然会让他或她更快乐 that of course will make him or her much happier.
但超出基本需要后 But beyond the basic needs,
当我们的基本需要得到满足 即有食物 once our basic needs are met and that means food,
住所 基础教育 shelter, basic education.
这些需要一旦得到满足 Once those needs are met,
收入的影响就微乎其微 income makes very little difference.
几代人之间没有变化 No change across generations.
我们这一代比父辈富足 Our generation is much wealthier than our parents,
比祖父辈更加富足 much, much wealthier than our grandparents' generation.
我们不是更快乐 We are not happier.
这是全球现象 And that is global--
不论是中国 英国还是澳大利亚 whether it's China, whether it's in the UK or Australia,
或美国 or the United States.
幸福水平几乎是静止的 Levels of happiness are essentially static;
焦虑水平和抑郁水平 and anxiety levels and depression levels,
正如第一堂课讲到的 有明显的加深 as we talked about in the first class have gone up significantly.
收入水平的影响很小 So income levels make very little difference.
总得来说 外部环境的影响很小 In general, external circumstances make very little difference.
回想你们的亲身经验 I mean, think about your own experience:
你们感觉如何 how did you feel--
回想自己 go back, just transport yourself
考入哈佛时的体会 to experience of getting into Harvard,
信箱里收到一个大包写着"已录取" getting this big package in the mail which said "You were accepted"
在4月1日或12月未 on April 1 or the end of December,
当你拿到大包时 when you got this pack--
有何感受? 可能是喜出望外 how did you feel? Probably ecstatic.
可能是你人生的亮点 Probably one of your highlights.
在那一刻 如果你们像我一样 And that moment, if you are like me,
你们也会想"成功了 you thought, "This is it.
我会快乐很长一段时间 I'm really going to be happy for a very long time.
因为我在高中很努力 Cos I really struggled in high school--
很多时很困难 a lot of it was difficult;
很多时很痛苦 但完全值得 a lot of it was painful, but it was all worth it.
我考上了哈佛" I made it."
第二天 你还会有这种感觉 And you went along with that feeling the next day,
因为学校的人开始谈论你如何考上 because in school they started to talk about how you got in.
你感觉很棒 不是吗? And you felt fantastic about it, right?
可能整个高三都会感觉很棒 And you felt great probably for the rest of the senior year--
当然难免起起落落 I mean, still ups and downs;
但总是来说是高水平的快乐 but overall, high levels of happiness.
这种快乐将持续一生 And it was going to last for the rest of your life.
来到这里 经过新生周 And you came here-- Freshmen week,
你知道快乐会持续一生 you knew it was going to last for the rest of your life.
因为身边都是杰出的人 Because you were around wonderful people.
大学生活很丰富 派对不断 It was fun. There were parties.
你说"人们对哈佛的想法都错了 And you said, "Everything they said about Harvard was not true.
这里其实是个派对大学" It's actually a party school."
你们很确定这一点 不是吗? You were certain of that, right?
不仅是个派对大学 And not only was it a party school,
而且未来四年甚至以后 都会过得很快乐 you were going to have an amazing time for the four years and beyond.
因为你的人生被这封录取信改变 Because your life was transformed by this letter of acceptance,
没错吧? right?
事情也许从开课第一天就发生变化 Things started to change probably on the first day of class,
但没有完全不同 but not entirely--
因为这是购物期 妙不可言的阶段 because there's shopping period and it's such a wonderful thing--
你们选择课程 you shop for classes.
比去商场更过瘾 It's even better than going to the mall--
有三千门课程任你挑选 so many, 3000 classes to choose from.
在哈佛的第二周妙不可言 And this second week of Harvard is fantastic
这种情况将持续下去 and it was going to continue just that way,
余生将是一浪高于一浪的快乐 constant tide for the rest of your life.
事情突然开始发生变化 And then suddenly things begin to change.
轻微地 非常轻微地 Slightly. Ever so slightly.
要写第一篇论文时 情况彻底改变 And they completely change once your first paper is due
或期中考试来临时 or the midterms arrive.
你恢复基础幸福水平 And you go back to your base level of wellbeing.
如果你在高中 If you experience a lot of stress
初中时经历过很大压力而且不快乐 in high school and elementary school and were unhappy,
一般来说最好的预言家会说 generally the best predictor would say that
在哈佛呆上一个月 你会有同样的感觉 you would feel the same way a month into your Harvard experience.
外部环境影响甚微 External circumstances matter very little. Very little.
同样地 居住地的影响也很小 In fact, also, place of residents makes very little difference.
人们会想"如果我搬到 People think, " Well, if I move--
尤其是在白天 especially in the day-light--
要是搬去加州 我会更快乐?" 错误 if I move to California, I'll be happier, right?" Wrong.
加州人不比麻省人更快乐 Californians are no happier than people in Massachusetts.
刚去到一个温暖的地方 Initially when we go to a warm place,
会感到放松 幸福水平高到值峰 we feel the relief and there's this spiky level of wellbeing.
但很快我们会恢复基础水平 But very quickly we go back to our base level
和以前的我们一模一样 exactly where we were before.
我会进一步说明 I'll take this even a step further,
虽然还没有这方面的研究 even though there is no research about this,
我敢和你们打赌 下面的说法是正确的 I bet you this is correct:
我们的幸福水平不会有所不同 there is no difference in our levels of wellbeing
不论我们是生活在河边 if our place of residents is by the river
还是呆在quad （哈佛举行毕业典礼等重大集会的地方） or in the quad.
这个例子把理论推至极限 但是真的 This is really taking the theory far, but it's true.
我喜欢这件衬衫 什么? I love this T-shirt-- what?
不能和大狗一起跑就呆在院子里 If you can't run with the big dogs, stay in yard.
这里有韩国学生吗?好的 Anyone from Korea here? Alright.
你在这么冷的日子赶来 You made it all the way on such a cold day.
很出色 我很感激 Well done! I appreciated it.
我们真是受宠若惊 不会有所不同 How spoiled we get here. Makes very little difference.
微乎甚微的区别 Very little difference--
我们在哪里 我们生活在哪里 where we are, where we live,
收入水平 是否中彩票 是否取得终身职位 income levels, lottery, tenure,
入读理想中大学 getting into our dream college,
找到理想工作 大四学生 getting our dream job for you seniors--
可能已经找到 you may have just gotten it.
没错 你们会感觉极至的幸福 Yeah, you are going to have a spike in your level of wellbeing--
我肯定拿到录取信时 I'm sure you had a spike in your level of wellbeing
你们的幸福感也达到峰值 when you got this acceptance letter,
但很快又恢复到基础水平 but very quickly we go back to our base level.
对基础幸福水平很重要的一样东西 One thing that does matter to our base level of wellbeing
它是一个外在因素 那就是民主和压迫 which is external circumstance is democracy versus oppression.
生活在民主制度下的人通常明显 People living in democracies are generally significantly
比生活在独裁制度下的人更快乐 happier than people living in dictatorships.
以女性为例 Women, for example,
生活在压迫制度下的一般 living in places where they are oppressed are in general
没有生活在自由国家的女性快乐 less happy than women living in free countries.
生活在达尔福尔的人 People living in Darfur are certainly
肯定没有生活在丹麦或美国的人快乐 less happy than people living in Denmark or the United States.
这些是能产生区别的 But again, these are the extreme circumstance
极端情况 that do make a difference,
比如我举的无家可归者的例子 such as I said, a homeless person,
收入当然会改善他的境遇 of course, income will make a difference to that person.
移民到自由国家 Moving to a free country,
当然会让他们更加幸福 of course, will make a difference to their wellbeing.
但在这些极端情况之外 But beyond the extremes,
增加或减少的外部环境 additions or subtractions to our external circumstances
产生的区别很小 make very little difference.
这即是好消息也是坏消息 Now this is good news and bad news.
坏消息是 看来不论我们怎么做 The bad news is it seems like whatever we do,
都无关紧要 it doesn't matter.
我为什么还要努力争取好工作？ So why am I working hard in order to get that BCG job?
我为什么要拼命入读这所学校 why did I work so hard in order to get into this place?
如果这些都无关紧要 总要经历高低潮? If it doesn't matter, if I experience this ups and downs.
答案是 And the answer is that--
是的 它不会改变我们的幸福水平 yes it won't make a difference to our wellbeing
但并不意味着 but it also doesn't mean that
我们不能提升自己的幸福水平 we cannot increase our level of wellbeing.
很多人说 Many people said the problem
一般的快乐或不快乐水平 with general levels of happiness or unhappiness rather,
是由于人们有过高的期望 the cause is people have too high expectations.
如果能降低期望 And if we lower our expectations,
降低压力水平 我们会更享受生活 we lower our stress levels and we will enjoy life more.
我不在乎成绩是不是B "Ok, so I don't care if I don't get a B in the course.
不在乎会让我更快乐 I'd be much happier if I don't care,
如果我降低期望水平 if I lower my levels of expectation.
我不在乎从事什么工作 I don't care what I get into, what job I have,
只想快乐 I just want to be happy."
你可能会快乐 And you'll probably be happy.
降低期望水平会略微快乐些 Slightly happy if you lower your levels of expectations,
但从长远来说行不通 but not in the long term.
下周我们会谈到这个问题 And we'll talk about it next week.
长远来说行不通 Not in the long term.
问题不在于是否降低那些高的期望 The problem is not lower these high expectations--
这一点不重要 that doesn't matter.
问题在于正确和错误的期望 The problem is right versus wrong expectations.
而不是低的和高的期望 Not lower high expectations--
那不会影响我们的幸福水平 that won't make a difference to our levels of wellbeing.
能影响幸福水平的 What will make a difference to our levels of wellbeing
是我们的期望是正确还是错误 is if we have right vs. wrong expectations.
错误的期望认为进入某间公司 It is wrong expectation to expect that getting into a certain place,
获得升职 getting a raise,
找到理想的伴侣 finding our dream partner,
就能让自己更快乐 is responsible for our happiness.
搬去加州或哈默堡 Moving to California or to (Forts Heimer?).
这本身不会让我们更快乐 That in and of itself will not make us happier.
那是错误的期望 That's wrong expectation.
正确的期望是相信内在的改变 The right expectation is to believe in change from within.
这些事情不会让我们快乐 So these things will not make us happy.
事实上 我们的准备和体验幸福的可能性 In fact, our readiness and potential to experience happiness
主要由我们的心境决定 is mostly depended on our state of mind,
不是我们的地位或银行账户状况 not on our status, or the states of our bank account.
我们要改变我们的认知 心境 It's about changing our perception-- state of mind.
要改变我们对世界的诠释 It's about changing our interpretation of the world,
以及我们的遭遇 成就 失败 of what's happening to us, of our achievements, of our failures.
重要的是我们选择领悟什么 It's about what we choose to perceive,
精力集中的焦点是什么 what we choose to focus on.
重要的是转变 It's about transformation,
而不是外部信息或外部成功 as opposed to the external information or the external success.
1504这门课程的重点 1504-- this whole course,
是关于转变 is about this transformation,
正如我在第一课中提到的 as I mentioned during the first lesson.
我想进入第四个前提 I want to move on to the fourth premise,
这堂课最重要的一个前提 one of the most important premises in this course.
在很多方面 And in many ways,
我们能理解人类智力发展历史 we can understand human intellectual history
仅仅基于这个观点 just based on this idea:
应不应该接受人类本性? should we accept human nature?
我们能否完善它? Or can we perfect it?
它能否改变? And can it change?
这个工作或者说这些观点 This work relies on--
基于Thomas Sowell的成果 or these ideas rely on the work of Thomas Sowell.
Thomas Sowell 哈佛58届学生 Thomas Sowell, Harvard class of 58,
目前就职斯坦福的胡佛研究院 now at Stanford, the Hoover Institute,
我心中的一位知识分子英雄 one of my intellectual heroes.
他的工作和作品的贡献在于解释了 And what he does and what his work does is basically explain
人们为什么会选择一个党派反对另一个 why people choose to back one political party versus the other;
为什么会选择一种生活方式摒弃另一种 why they choose to live one kind of life versus the other.
这本书帮助我更好地了解自己 This single book helped me understand myself better
更好地了解别人 as well as other people better--
不论是政治上 whether it's politically,
心理上还是哲学观上 whether it's psychologically, whether it's philosophically.
对政治感兴趣的同学 Those of you who are interested in politics
如果说有一本书是必读的 and there is one book you want to read,
读完Marva Collins的作品后 就是这本 after you read Marva Collins of course, it's this.
Thomas Sowell所执的观点是什么？ So what does Thomas Sowell say?
他把人分成两个阵营 Essentially what he does is divide people into two camps
那些认为本性受约束 those who hold constrained vision,
有局限性的观点的人 the limited vision;
和认为人性不受约束 and those who hold the unconstrained,
无局限性的观点的人 the unlimited vision of human nature.
认为人性受约束的观点的人 People who hold constrained vision of human nature,
相信人性无法改变 believe that human nature cannot be changed;
它是永恒的 我们有一些本能 it's immutable-- we have certain instincts,
有一些欲望 we have certain inclinations.
它们是固有的 无法改变 They are fixed. This is it.
是什么样就是什么样 What you see is what you get.
作为人的物种 What you are born with or were born with,
只有与生俱来的东西 as species, is all we have.
我们的缺陷不可避免 The flaws that are out there are inevitable--
无法改变 they cannot be changed.
不论好坏 我们只能接受 We need to accept them for what they are.
我们只能接受缺陷 That's the only thing we can do with these flaws.
执有人性受约束的观点的人认为 And people who have the constrained vision think
我们的本能 欲望 that our instincts, our inclinations,
我们的本性是永恒的 唯有接受 our basic nature is immutable, accepted.
但他们没有屈服 而是加以引导 And then what they do, rather than resign, they channel it.
如何引导? How do they channel it?
通过建立某种政治机构 By building certain political institutions
引导有缺陷的 that would channel the flawed,
不完美的人性向好的方面发展 imperfect human nature toward the good.
执有这种观点的 Philosophers and psychologists
哲学家和心理学家创造了它们 who fall under the constrained vision create them,
创建了人生哲学 心理学 各种机构和体系 philosophies and psychologies and institutions and systems
来引导我们有缺点的不完美的人性 to channel our flawed and imperfect nature.
在哲学史上认为人性受约束的人 People who fall under the constrained vision in the history of ideas,
包括汉密尔顿 亚当斯密 are people such as Alexander Hamilton, Adam Smith--
学习经济学的都耳熟能详 those of you are taking or will take EC 10,
Fredrick Kayak等 ?, Fredrick Kayak.
这些人认为 These are people who say,
"我们的本性是受约束的 "our nature is constrained.
是有局限的" Edmund Burke说的 It's limited." Edmund Burke-- another one.
最准确阐述这种观点的 What captures this idea best--
是培根的话 the words of Francis Bacon,
他是17世纪时科学运动之父 considered the father of the scientific movement,
是一名哲学家 was a philosopher in 1600s:
"号令自然 必须遵守自然" "Nature to be commanded must be obeyed."
不论是物质本质还是人性本质 Whether it's physical nature, or human nature.
我们都需要遵守它 We need to obey it.
本质是不变的 It is what it is.
还有人性不受约束的观点 Now we have the unconstrained vision.
也许你更乐观 Perhaps you are a little bit more optimistic,
更加乐天 人性可以改善 a little bit more utopian-- human nature can be improved.
可以改变 It can be changed.
取决于我们去不去做 本性可以完善 It is up to us to do so. It is perfectable.
不需要接受缺陷不可避免的观点 We don't need to accept these flaws as inevitable.
可以完善它 We can perfect it.
有办法解决这些缺陷 There are solutions to these flaws,
完善不完美的地方 我们的职责 to these imperfections and our role--
机构的目标 the goal of institutions,
不论是政治机构 whether it's political institutions,
教育机构 各种体系 educational institutions, of systems,
各种组织 个体哲学家 心理学家 organizations, individual philosophers, psychologists,
职责都是改变人类本性 the role is to change our nature,
完善它 把它变得更好 to perfect it, to better it.
致力于此的哲学家 Philosophers who help this position:
有托马斯杰斐逊 people like Thomas Jefferson,
卢梭 people like Jean-Jacques Rousseau,
萧伯纳 德沃金及其他杰出思想家 George Bernard Shaw, Ronald Dworkin and other leading thinkers.
Thomas Sowell的贡献是 And what Thomas Sowell did
绘制了整个世界智力发展历史 was map the entire intellectual history
展示出人们执有不同观点 of world showing how people who held this view versus that view,
两种截然不同的政治观点 that two radically different political prescriptions.
最好地阐述了本性受约束观点的人 The person who best captures the unconstrained view,
法国哲学家政治家Benjamin Constant说 Benjamin Constant, French philosopher and politician,
"命运召唤我们进行自我完善" "It is for self-perfectioning that destiny calls us."
执本性受约束观点的人 Generally people on constrained view,
是在政治上 并非总是 are people politically, not always,
但一般都是支持资本主义的人 but usually people who would support capitalism--
比如亚当斯密 people like Adam Smith,
开创了"不可见的手"的理论 who talked about "invisible hand"--
把不完美 有缺陷的本性导向好的 Let's channel imperfect, perhaps flawed human nature toward the good.
执本性不受约束观点的人 People who are more on the unconstrained vision
倾向乌托邦主义或共产主义 would tend toward Utopianism or sometimes communism.
并非总是 有时是 Not always, but sometimes.
为什么？让我们来改变人类本性 Why? Because let's change human nature.
自利不是好事 Self-interest is not good.
长远来说是有害的 所以 It hurts in the long term and therefore,
我们需要改变它 而认为本性受约束的人 we need to change it rather than the constrained vision--
他们会说 people who said,
"我们也许不是那样 但本性难移 "We may not like it, but it is what it is.
不能改变它 We cannot change it.
我们尽去完善它 把它导向好的" Let's make the best of it and channel it toward the good."
两种皆然不同的观点 Two radical views.
基于人的观念得到两种皆然不同的手段 Two radical prescriptions based on people's notion perspective.
我为什么要给你们讲这个? So why am I telling you this?
这不是政治科学课程 This is not a political science class.
因为它与心理学息息相关 Because it has every relevance to psychology as well.
它与心理学息息相关 It has every relevance to psychology:
我们认识了现实吗 Do we perceive reality,
对人类本性执不同观点 human nature as constrained or unconstrained
最终将影响我们心理 will ultimately affect our psychology.
这是非常有意义和重要的 And this is very meaningful and important.
我来解释 Let me explain.
首先 Now first of all,
有些人在政治上执受约束的观点 some people who have the constrained view when it comes to politics,
但在心理学上执不受约束观点 have the unconstrained view when it comes to psychology,
并不总是一致 so it is not always consistent,
但多数时是一致的 though it very often is.
这门课提倡的心理学观点 So the vision of psychology this course promotes
是本性受约束观点 is the constrained view.
换言之 那是我相信的观点 In other words, my belief--
我会用三个研究加以证明 从今天开始 and I am going to back that up with research today
直到下个学期 and for the next semester--
人类本性是固有的 is human nature is fixed.
我们有欲望 We have inclinations.
我们有生而有之的本能 We have certain instincts that are there
或上天赐与或经几百万年 and have been formed either God-given or evolutionary-given
在进化中形成 for millions of years that have been formed.
这些本性不会很快改变 They are not going to change any time soon.
在有生之年是不可能的 Not in our life time.
它是固有的 It's fixed.
不论好坏 我们都要接受它们 We are stuck with them through good and ill.
在接受这个本性后 我们唯一能做的 And all we can do after we accept this nature
是通过研究首先来理解它 is to first understand it through research,
理解它后 and then after we understand it,
好好地利用它 make the best use of it.
通过研究 探究 Understand it through research as well as through the search--
通过内省来理解它 through introspection,
然后好好地利用 and then make the best use of it.
如何引导我的本性? How can I channel my nature?
现在我想演示一个案例研究 And what I want to do now is illustrate a case study
说明我所谓的本性受约束的含义 of what I mean by nature constrained
为何它对快乐 and why it is so important for happiness,
幸福 长久的成功如此重要 for wellbeing, for long-term success
当论及到我们的心理时 to have the constrained view of human nature
人性受约束观点很重要 when it comes to our psychology that is.
我谈及的话题是准许为人 The topic I want to talk about is the permission to be human.
原因有三 I am going to talk about this topic for three reasons.
第一 它说明了Thomas Sowell的观点 A, because it illustrates what Thomas Sowell means
在心理学领域的政治方面 politically in the psychological realm.
第二 因为我认为它是 Second, because I think it is one of
快乐和幸福的最重要支柱之一 the most important pillars of wellbeing and happiness.
第三个原因 The third reason why I want to talk about it is
因为它引起人们 because it gets to misunderstanding that many people have
对何为积极心理学的误解 regarding what positive psychology is and is not.
当我开始教授这门课时 When I first started teaching this course
有六名学生 and had six students,
我记得有一天坐在学生宿舍里 I remember one day sitting in Leverett House,
独自用餐 一名学生走进来说 having lunch by myself and one of the students comes in and says,
"能一起吃吗?""当然" 我们共进午餐 "can I join you?" "Sure." we have lunch.
他对我说 And he says to me,
"Tal 我听说你教一门有关快乐的课程" "Tal, I hear you teaching a class on happiness."
我对他说"是的 没错" And I said to him, "Yes. That's right."
他说"我的室友选了你的课" And he said, "You know, my roommates are taking your class."
我说"那太好了" And I said, "That's wonderful."
六名学生中有了两名 There were two of the six.
他说"Tal 你现在要多加小心" And he said, "But Tal, you've got to watch out now."
我问"为什么?" And I said to him, "Why?"
他说"Tal 你必须小心" And he said, "Tal, you'll have to be careful."
我说"为什么?" And I said, "Why?"
他说"因为如果我见到你不快乐 And he said, "Because if I see you unhappy,
我会告诉他们" I'll tell them."
第二天上课时 The next day in class,
我讲了这件事并对学生说 I used that and I said to the students,
"我最不希望你们以为 "You know, the last thing in the world that I want you to think
我总是保持快乐 或者你们 is that I experience a constant high or that you,
在期未或学年未 by the end of the semester or the year--
那门课程要讲一年 it was a year course,
你们到学年未时 you-- by the end of the year--
会一直保持快乐" will experience a constant high."
只有两类人 There are two kinds of people,
体会这种持续的快乐 who experience this constant high,
不会体会到痛苦的情绪 像愤怒 who don't experience painful emotions such as anger,
嫉妒 失望 or envy, or disappointment,
悲伤 不快乐 or sadness, or unhappiness,
抑郁或偶尔的焦虑 or depression, or anxiety at times--
两类人不会体会到这些痛苦的情绪 two kinds of people who don't experience these painful emotions:
一类是精神病人 the one kind are the psychopaths--
因此不会感受到痛苦的情绪 by definition they don't experience these painful emotions;
第二类 the second kind of people
没有痛苦情绪体会的 是死人 who don't experience these painful emotions are dead people.
没错 所以 Exactly! So you know,
如果你们体会到这些情绪 if you experience these emotions,
那是个好兆头 it's a good sign.
说明你不是精神病人 也还没死 You are not a psychopath, and you are alive.
然而在当今的文化中 However, in our culture today,
我们不准许自己为人 we don't give ourselves the permission to be human,
也没有体会痛苦情绪的自由 the freedom to experience these painful emotions as well.
我们为这种无能付出高昂代价 And we pay a very high price for this inability,
为拒绝接受 for this refusal to accept the fact
本性受约束 that it is part of human nature that is constrained,
生而有之的事实 付出高昂代价 that is there no matter what.
孩子和婴儿 As kids, as babies--
回到婴儿期 going back to the baby's scene,
我们准许自己为人 we give ourselves the permission to be human,
我们知道那是自然的 we know that it's natural.
事实上根本不去思考 We don't even think about it in fact,
自然而然地经历起起落落 to experience the high and then the low and high and then low.
后来当我们停止准许自己为人时 And later on, when we stop giving ourselves the permission
当我们的“面子”变得重要起来的时候 to be human when the facade become so important,
当我们开始发觉其他人在看我们时 we begin to realize that other people are watching us
时刻评价我们时 and evaluating us constantly
人们远没我们以为的那么注意我们 and we think they do so much more than they actually do.
那时我们停止准许自己为人 That's when we stop giving ourselves the permission to be human,
为此我们付出代价 包括精力水平 and we pay a price, in terms of our energy levels,
幸福感 快乐感 of our wellbeing, of our happiness,
创造力 最终以成就大小作为代价 of our creativity, and ultimately also our success.
我举一个 Let me give an example of someone
准许自己为人的例子 who does give himself the permission to be human.
准许为人 The Permission to be Human
不是说大家应该像那样 Now I'm saying we should look like this.
我的意思是我们都需要一个空间 But what I am saying is that we all need a space,
生活中要有一个地方 a place in our own lives
在那里我们准许自己为人 where we give ourselves the permission to be human,
可以是和挚友在一起时 whether it's with close friends,
我们关心的人 people we care about,
最重要的是面对自己时 whether it's first and foremost with ourselves
写日记时 when we write a journal,
这时我们准许自己为人 where we do give ourselves the permission to be,
准许自己哭泣 快乐 to cry, to be joyous--
如果不那么做 because if we don't,
我们付出代价 we pay a price.
我们需要一个无条件接受自我的地方 We need a space of unconditional acceptance.
我得到的最好建议 The best advice that I got,
或者说是我们 or that we got--
是我妻子和我 当David my wife and I got when David,
我们的大儿子出生时 Tok Shapiro医生给的 our first son was born from our pediatrician, Dr. Tok Shapiro--
David在凌晨一点出生 and David was born at 1 AM in the morning
早上八点时 and around 8 AM in the morning,
他来查看我妻子的情况 he came in to see, to check up on my wife,
查看婴儿的情况 to check up on the baby,
不知为什么 他没询问我的情况 for some reason, he didn't check up on me.
一切都正常 And everything was fine.
在他走出房间时 As he is leaving the room,
他转过身说 he turned around and said,
"还有一件事 " Just one more thing.
在接下来的几个月里 over the next few months,
你们将体会到每一种情绪 you are going to be experiencing every single kind of emotion
极至的情绪 那没关系 to the extreme and that's fine.
是很自然的事 It's natural.
我们都经历过" We all go through it."
然后他走了出去 And he walked out.
这是妻子和我 It was the best advice
得到的关于抚育孩子的最好建议 that my wife and I got regarding child-rearing.
为什么？让我举个例子 Why? Let me give you an example.
一个月后 So after about a month,
我开始偶尔 I started to, once in a while,
对David产生一种嫉妒 experience some envy toward David.
因为这是妻子和我在一起后 Because here he was for the first time in--
第一次有人夹在中间 well, since my wife and I were together--
另一个人比我获得更多的关注 someone else is getting much more attention than I was,
不管我怎么哭 no matter how much I cried.
我嫉妒他 然后五分钟后 And I felt envy toward him and five minutes later,
我对他产生最强烈的爱意 I experienced this most intense love toward him--
一种我从没感受过的情绪 the emotion that I haven't felt before.
平时我会想 Now normally I would think,
"真是个伪君子 "what a hypocritic!
事情不对劲 It's just something is wrong:
前一分钟充满嫉妒 转眼体会无尽爱意?" one minute you are envious and the next minute you experience love?"
这完全合情合理 There is nothing wrong.
完全正确 There is everything right.
这是为人的一部分 It's part of being human.
因为我脑子里装着儿科医生的建议 And because I had Dr.Shapiro's voice at back of my mind--
准许为人 permission to be human,
那帮了我很多 that helped me a great deal--
我体会嫉妒 接受它 experience the envy when I experienced it, accept it;
然后享受和赞美 and then enjoy and celebrate it--
我对David产生的积极情绪 the positive emotions that I experienced toward David.
准许为人 Permission to be human.
这里有自相矛盾的地方 You see, there is actually a paradox playing--
Daniel Wegner对"反语处理"做过研究 this is work done by our very own Daniel Wegner on ironic processing.
当我们压抑一种自然现象时 When we suppress a natural phenomenon,
那种现象只会加强 that phenomenon only strengthens.
我用一个实验加以说明 Let me illustrate through an experiment.
在接下来的十秒钟里 So for the next ten seconds,
不要想粉色大象 do not think of a pink elephant.
在接下来的十秒钟里不要想粉色大象 For the next ten seconds, do not think of a pink elephant.
知道我说的是什么吗？ You know the one that I am talking about?
就是大耳朵的小飞象? With the big ears, Dumbo?
在接下来的十秒钟里不要想粉色大象 Do not think of a pink elephant for the next three seconds
我肯定没有人想一头粉色大象 是吗? and I am sure no one thought of a pink elephant right?
事实如何?多数人都会想粉色大象 What happened? -- Most people thought of a pink elephant.
因为当我们企图压抑一种自然现象时 Because when we try to suppress a natural phenomenon
比如提起一个词时浮现出相应形象 such as having a visual of the word when we say it,
只会加强它 that thing just intensifies.
压抑自然的痛苦情绪也有此效果 The same applies to the painful emotions that are natural.
企图压制它们时 它们会加强 And when we try to suppress them, they strengthen.
当我听说Marva Collins的事迹 When I started to teach after hearing about
并决定以教书为终身职业时 Marva Collins and deciding teaching is my calling,
我知道必须克服一个问题 I knew that I had to deal with the problem--
那就是我个性内性 the problem is that I am introvert,
站在听众前面我会很紧张 对我来说 I get very nervous in front of audiences and large audiences for me
超过五个人就算众多听众 is anything but five.
但我必须克服这个问题 But I had to deal with it
我知道必须克服它 and I knew I would have to deal with it.
所以我会站在听众面前 在那之前 So I would go on in front of audience and before
我会对自己说 that I would say to myself,
"不要紧张 "Tal, don't be nervous.
不要焦虑 Don't be anxious.
今天不能焦虑 No anxiety today.
不要紧张 Don't be nervous.
不要紧张 不要" Don't be nervous. Don't!"
事实又是怎样? And what happened?--
我即紧张又焦虑 Pink elephants all around.
但在读过 Victor Frankl Instead after especially reading
有关"矛盾意向"的阐述后 about paradoxical intentions by Victor Frankl,
我开始准许自己为人 I started to give myself the permission to be human.
现在当我去上课时 紧张感 And now when I go into a lecture, the nervousness--
因为我准许自己为人 because I give myself the permission to be human--
在课堂进行三小时后会消失 goes away within as little as three hours into the lecture.
但紧张是可以控制的 But no, it's manageable.
每次上课前 我仍会感觉紧张 I still get nervous before every single lecture,
其实这是件好事 它可以控制 which is actually a good thing. But it's managable.
我能应付它 能控制它 I can deal with it. I can handle it.
准许为人 Permission to be human.
拒绝本性导致次优表现 You see, rejecting our nature leads to suboptimal performance
不论在情绪上还是外在表现 emotionally as well as in terms of external performance.
想象每天早上醒来后对自己说 Imagine waking up every morning and saying to yourself:
"我拒绝接受万有引力定律 "I refuse to accept the law of gravity.
万有引力定律很麻烦 This law of gravity is such a pain.
要被迫上下楼 You need to walk down the stairs and then up the stairs.
我只想早上时飘去剧院 I just want to float to Sanders (Sanders Theatre) in the morning.
我只想下午时飘去餐厅 I just want to float to the dining hall after--
更加容易 更少痛苦" so much easier, so much less painful."
想象过这样一种生活 Imagine leading a life like this.
你真的能拒绝接受万有引力定律吗? Will you truly refuse to accept the law of gravity?
那会是怎么一样生活? What kind of life would you lead?
首先 你可能活不长 Well, first of all, you may not survive for long,
如果你不接受 if you truly don't accept the fact that things,
人会从半空中掉下来的事实 people being no exception fall when left in mid-air.
即使你幸存下来 But even if you do survive--
比如你在一楼 let's the ground floor--
就算你真的幸存下来 even if you do survive,
你的生活将是处处受挫 you would lead a life of constant frustration--
拒绝接受现实事物 refusing to accept something that is there
不论你喜欢与否 whether you like it or not.
所以我们接受万有引力定律 So instead we accept the law of gravity.
不仅如此 我们利用定律发明游戏 More than that, we create games around the law of gravity.
你们中喜欢运动的 I mean all those of you doing sports here--
教室里多数人都做运动 and it's most of you in this room who are doing athletics,
跑步时需要万有引力定律 who go for a run, you rely on the law of gravity.
你能想象哈佛和耶鲁 Can you imagine
在没有万有引力的情况下进行橄榄球赛吗? Harvard vs. Yale football without the law of gravity?
你能想象没有万有引力情况下的篮球赛吗? Can you imagine a basketball game without the law of gravity?
我不是在说乔丹 而是普通人 I am not talking about Michael Jordan, but for the (?).
我们接受它 并利用它发明游戏 We accept it and we create games around it.
然而说到情绪时 我们却不这么做 And yet we don't do the same when it comes to our emotions.
这是关键点 Now here is the key point:
人类本性的痛苦情绪 Painful emotions are as much as part of human nature
一如物理世界的万有引力定律 as the law of gravity is part of physical nature.
"号令自然 必须遵守自然" And "nature to be commanded must be obeyed".
航空航天工程师 And the aeronautics engineer
想制造飞机 必须遵守 who wants to build an airplane has to obey,
加以考虑 学习 take into consideration, learn it,
研究理解万有引力定律 study and understand the law of gravity.
心理学家也是如此 The same applies to a psychologist.
人类本性受约束的观点 The constrained view of human nature.
号令自然 必须遵守自然 "Nature to be commanded must be obeyed."
然而我们却不那么做 And yet we don't do that.
我们的文化不那么做 We don't do in our culture.
为此我们付出高昂代价 And we pay a high price for it.
我们正在经历我所谓的"大骗局" We have what I called, "the great deception".
我们是那种嘴上说"你好吗?" We are people who ask, "So how are you doing?"
嘴上说"很好 棒极了" And we say, "Fine. Just great."
事实上我们不是那么好 Well in fact, we are not doing so well.
更合适的回应是"我正经历不顺 More appropriate would be "I'm going through a rough patch now.
恰逢困境 我很难受" I'm going through a hard time. I'm really stressed."
然而我们不想承认事实 But yet, we don't want to admit that.
我们不准许自己为人 We don't give ourselves the permission to be human,
因为我们觉得是自己有毛病 because we think there is something wrong with us
如果我们有这样的情绪 if we experience these emotions.
每个人都说 And then when everyone says,
"很好 棒极了 妙不可言" "Oh fine. Oh great. Oh terrific",
当我们被问到"你好吗?"时 then we are asked "How are you doing?"
我才不要作唯一的扫把星 I am not going to be the only party poop here.
我才不要作唯一的丧气鬼 I am not going to be the only depressed one around here.
于是我说"很好 棒极了" So I said, "Oh fine. Oh great."
就这样我们帮忙壮大了这个大骗局 And then we contribute to this great deception
正是这个大骗局导致严重的抑郁 and it is this great deception that leads to the great depression--
严重的抑郁是快乐付出的终极代价 the great depression in the ultimate currency of happiness.
这很好地解释了 This, to great extent,
为什么今天有那么多人 explains why so many people today
感到抑郁 达到45% experience depression the 45% figure,
全国大学校园都如此 nationwide on college campuses.
没有足够的"准许为人" Not enough permission to be human.
我不是说要我们肆无忌惮地表达情绪 I am not talking about wearing our heart on our sleeves.
有人走向我们 When someone comes to us
在William James大厅的电梯里 in the elevator in William James (William James Hall),
我说"你好吗?" I says, "How are you doing?"
"感谢关心 "Thank you for asking.
这得从我三岁时说起" You know it all started when I was three."
我不是这个意思 This is not what I am talking about.
在William James大厅也许会遇到这种事 In William James, maybe the case--
因为那部电梯 because the elevator--
运作得太慢 it does take two hours to get there for the door to close.
但不是那样 But other than that.
我不是那个意思 I'm not talking about.
我的意思是一个空间 what I'm talking about is a space,
生活中的私密空间 和挚友一起时 a safe space in our lives with our closest friends,
和家人在一起时 最重要的是面对自己时 with our family, first and foremost, with ourselves,
我们要准许自己为人 will we have the permission to be human.
我说的不是屈从 And what I'm not talking about is resignation.
远远不是那样 不是说 Far from it. It's not about saying,
"我很抑郁 这是毫无办法的事 "Well I'm depressed. There's nothing I can do about it.
我接受我的本性 I accept my nature.
接受我的状态 I accept my state.
就这样吧" And that's it."
我说的不是屈从 I'm not talking about resignation.
我说的是主动接受 what I'm talking about is active acceptance.
那是什么意思? What does that mean?
它意味着理解有些事 It means understanding that certain things
我无法改变 有些事我能而且应该去改变 I cannot change and certain things I can and ought to change.
我们会集中讨论的一点是"差别" One of the main ideas we'll talk about is the distinction:
在有关"改变"的课上中会着重谈 we'll talk about specifically on the lecture on change
情感 行为和认知的差别 between affect, behaviors and cognitions.
心理学的ABC The A, B, C of psychology.
情感代表情绪 行为代表行动 Affect-- emotion. Behavior-- action.
认知代表思想 Cognition-- thoughts.
无条件地接受 Unconditional acceptance,
准许为人 主要与情感相关 permission to be human relates primarily to our affect,
与情绪相关 to our emotions.
它们是现实存在 就像万有引力定律 They are there, just like the law of gravity is there.
那不代表我们要接受我们的行为和认知 That does not mean we need to accept our behavior and our cognition.
举个例子 我可以… For example, I can--
因为以前的经历 and having the past experience--
嫉妒我最好的朋友 envy towards my best friend,
那种情绪本身不代表我是个坏人 that in and of itself does not make me a bad person.
这是人类本性 It's human.
我从没遇到过任何一个 I've never met a person
从来没有或没有体会过… who has never experienced or does not experience--
也许达赖喇嘛可以 well, maybe the Dalai Lama--
除了他 but other than that,
谁都嫉妒过别人 who does not experience envy toward other people.
如果说达赖喇嘛真的无欲无求 And if it is true about the Dalai Lama,
那也是修行几十年的结果 that is because he's worked on it for decades.
嫉妒是人性的一部分 Envy is part of human nature--
嫉妒没有好坏之分 nothing good or bad about the envy.
愤怒也无好坏之分 Nothing good or bad about experiencing the anger.
抑郁和焦虑也无好坏之分 Nothing good or bad about experiencing the depression or anxiety.
那是人性的一部分 It's part of human nature.
问题在于 However, the question is,
我要选择怎样的行为 how do I choose to behave,
去表达情感？ to act as a result of it?
道德在此介入 That is where the moral domain enters.
我可以选择道德和不道德的行为 That's where I can have moral or immoral behavior
对待最好的朋友 孩子或一般人 toward my best friend or baby, or other people in general.
我仍会嫉妒最好的朋友 I can still experience envy toward my best friend
但选择对他宽容和亲切 and choose to behave generously and benevolently toward him.
认知也是如此 我们会深入讨论认知 The same with cognition and we will talk a lot about it
当谈到认知行为治疗时 when we talk about CBT-- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
我可以感受它 I can feel it certain way.
但不代表 But it doesn't mean that
我要屈从于对那种感受的想法 I need to resign to my thoughts about that feeling.
我们会频繁谈到沉思 Rumination is one of the things that we'll talk about a lot
其实沉思痛苦的情绪 actually not that helpful--
没有多大帮助 to ruminate about painful emotions.
书写描述更有帮助 It's much helpful to write about them.
向别人倾诉更有帮助 To talk to other people about them,
要胜过总是想着 rather than just be thinking constantly about
被女朋友甩了多么的惨 how miserable I am because my girlfriend just left.
我还没在快餐店找到新目标 I haven't found anyone in Pinocchio's.
沉思没有帮助 So rumination doesn't help.
我没有必要接受 So I don't necessarily accept
所有不理智的想法 all my irrational thoughts and again,
下周我们会更深入地探讨 we'll talk about it much more next week of
如何认知性地重塑自己的想法 how we can cognitively reframe what we were thinking.
但情绪 情感即情绪 But the emotion-- that affect is the emotion,
是无法改变的 it is what it is.
重要的是要真实面对现实 And the key is to be true to reality,
这也是本门课的重要主题之一 which is also one of the main themes in the course.
从很多方面来说这门课不该叫"积极心理学" In many ways, this course should not be called "Positive Psychology".
我在你们选了这门课后才挑明 But I am telling you this after you already signed up for the class
想退课也晚了 so it is too late to leave.
这门课不是讲"积极心理学" This is actually not a course on positive psychology.
而是一门"现实心理学"课程 It's a course in reality psychology.
因为积极心理学可能表示 Because positive psychology may mean that
我们只聚焦于积极的起作用的部分 we are only focusing on the positive and what works,
忽略其余不起作用的 ignoring all the rest that are not.
我们要做的就像是改变钟摆幅度 Overdoing this class is shifting the pendulum.
比起21比1的比率 两方更均衡 So there is more even playing field instead of the 21:1 ratio,
我们做得更多 除了专注于积极的一面 we are doing much more, focusing on the positive.
与此同时 And at the same time,
也认同痛苦的情绪 accepting the painful emotions
和美好的情绪一样都是人性的组成 are as much part of human nature as the wonderful emotions.
我们越早接受越好 And sooner we accept it, the better.
那并不代表在1504课程结束后 That won't mean at the end of the course of 1504 or 100
或修读完另外100门课程 or 100 other courses in the workshop
然后就可以把读过的书丢了 and sold the books that you read,
并不是说 你就不会再感受到痛苦的情绪 it's not that you will not have painful emotions anymore.
只是你的心理免疫系统会变得更强 It's simply your psychological immune system will become stronger,
希望在本学期未就见成效 hopefully already by the end of this semester.
心理免疫系统会变得更强 Psychological immune system will become stronger.
那不表示我们不再得病 And that means not that we don't get ill.
而是意味着我们更有抵抗力 即使得病 It means we get ill less often and when we do get sick,
也能很快康复 we'll recover more promptly.
极其快乐的人和极其不快乐的人 The difference between the extremely happy people
区别不是在于一个会伤心 and extremely unhappy people is not that one gets sad,
难过 焦虑或抑郁 of upset, or anxious, or depressed;
而另一个不会 and the other does not.
两类人都会 Both groups do.
区别在于他们能够多么迅速 It's how quickly,
多么快速地从痛苦情绪中恢复过来 how promptly we can recover from these painful emotions--
换言之 我们的心理免疫系统有多强 in other words, how strong our psychological immune system is.
我们的心理免疫系统会加强 And our psychological immune system strengthens
当我们准许自己为人时 when we give ourselves the permission to be human.
很多同学可能读到过这首诗 Many of you've probably read this,
听说过这首诗 它非常好地阐述了 come across this, but I think this captures
主动接受含义的基础 so well the foundation of what it means to be actively accepting.
它已成为AA运动的正式圣言 This has become the official mantra in many ways of the AA movement:
"主啊 请赐我安详 接纳我不能改变的事物 "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
请赐我勇气 去改变我可以改变的东西 the courage to change the things I can change;
并赐我智慧去认识这两者的差别" and wisdom to know the difference."
认识两者差别的智慧 The wisdom to know the difference--
幸运的是 这样的智慧可以通过学习获得 fortunately, a lot of this wisdom can come from studies,
通过研究和在这个学期 from research, from deep introspection that
进行的深刻反省中获得 you will do throughout the semester.
现在我想做个练习 What I want to do now is an exercise.
我想做一次群体冥想 I want to do a group meditation.
希望你们理解 Trying to understand,
不只是在研究的认知层面上 not just on the cognitive level of the research,
还要在内心情感层面上去体会 but also to experience on the visceral emotional level,
准许自己为人的真正含义 what it really means to give ourselves the permission to be human.
感觉不自在的 Those of you who don't feel comfortable doing it,
可以不参与 you don't have to do it.
认为没问题的 一起来做 Those who feel comfortable to do it, do it.
如果你觉得很勉强 If it's a stretch for you,
我仍建议你一起来 I still recommend that you do it.
如果你从没冥想过 If you never meditate before,
这是你们尝试的好机会 this is a wonderful opportunity to do it for the first time.
我对你们的一个要求是 One thing I do ask you:
如果你不做 If you are not doing it,
不参与的同学 if you don't participate,
请保持安静 simply just keep quiet.
此外 我强烈建议你参与 Other than that, I really do recommend that you join us.
现在我要大家一起 What I want to do together now
一起进入无条件接受境界 is enter the realm of unconditional acceptance.
在座位上尽量坐直身体 Se?or, just sit up straight as much as possible.
如果可以 后背在靠背上放松 If possible, your back relaxing against the back rest.
双脚舒服地放在地板上 Plant your feet comfortably on the floor.
感觉舒适 闭上双眼 If you feel comfortable, close your eyes.
转移呼吸的焦点 Shift the focus of your breath.
把思想的焦点 转移到呼吸上 Shift the focus of your thoughts to your breathing.
向腹部深深吸气 Take a deep breath in all the way down to your belly.
然后呼气 And then breathe out.
再一次深深吸气 Again, deep breath in;
缓慢 平稳 安静地呼气 slow, gentle, quiet breath out.
安静地重复呼吸 Repeat that in silence.
如果走神了 回到呼吸上 If your mind wanders, simply bring it back to your breathing.
深深缓慢地吸气 Deep, slow inhalation.
深深缓慢 平稳 安静地呼气 Deep, slow, gentle, quiet exhalation.
多数人吸气的深度不够 Most of us don't breathe deeply enough.
我们没时间赞美我们的呼吸 We don't take the time to celebrate our breath,
我们的精神 我们的存在 our spirit, our being.
联系 关联 The connection, the link,
心灵与身体的桥梁 the bridge between our mind and our body;
情绪和思想的桥梁 between our emotions and our thoughts;
脑和心的桥梁 between the brain and the heart.
继续深呼吸 Continue with the deep breathing.
继续深呼吸的同时 As you continue with the deep breath,
将焦点转向情绪 转向感受 shift your focus to your emotions, to your feelings.
你们好吗？ How are you doing?
感觉如何？ How are you feeling?
注意你的情绪 Pay attention to your emotions.
不论是怎样的情绪 不论感觉到什么 Whatever they are, whatever it is that your feeling,
让它流过你的全身 自然地 allow it to float through you. Naturally.
体会那种情绪 Just experience your emotion whatever it is.
你可能先体会到一种情绪 You may feel one emotion at one moment,
然后又体会到另一种 这没关系 different emotion the next. That's Ok.
不论是怎么情绪 接受它 Whatever it is, accept it.
体会它 Experience it.
准许自己为人 Give yourself the permission to be human.
都没关系 呼吸 It's all OK. Just breath.
继续观察体会出现的情绪 Continue to observe and experience whatever emotion comes up,
不管是平静或快乐 whether it's calm or happiness,
不管是焦虑 困惑 无聊或喜悦 whether it's anxiety, confusion, boredom or joy.
不管它是什么 Whatever it is,
继续向腹部深呼吸 continue to breathe deeply into your belly.
平稳 缓慢 安静地呼气 And gently, slowly, quietly exhale.
让那种情绪像呼吸一样流动 Let the emotion flow just like the breath.
随着呼吸的加深 As you continue breathing deeply,
用你的心眼 in your mind's eye,
看自己走出这间教室 see yourself walking out of this classroom today,
走在校园里 walking in the yard,
体会你的所有感受 with the feeling that all your feelings
都是人性的一部分 are real fine part of human nature.
它们在那里 They just are.
不论好坏 Neither good nor bad.
在你走在建筑物和树木之间时 As you walk amid the buildings and trees,
在你看到朋友和同学时 as you see your friends and classmates,
让那些情绪流遍你的全身 allow these emotions to float through you,
自由地 轻盈地 freely, lightly.
通过体会这些情绪 By experiencing these emotions,
不论是起是落 whether the ups and the downs,
你正在做的是 what you are doing is being,
作一个人 being a human being.
继续让呼吸和情绪流动 Continue to allow the breath and the emotions to just flow.
任其流动 To just be.
如果你真的能准许自己为人呢? What if you truly gave yourself the permission to be human?
如果你真的准许自己为人呢? What if you are giving yourself the permission to be human?
放飞想象 Just imagine.
生命变得更加轻盈 Life becomes so much lighter.
更加简单 So much simpler.
不是想办法战斗打败我们的本性 When, rather than trying to fight or defeat our nature,
我们接受它 we accept it.
我们接受自己 We accept who we are.
我们接受出现的一切情绪 We accept whatever emotion comes up.
深深 缓慢地吸气 Deep, slow inhalation.
缓慢 平稳 安静 平静地呼气 Slow, gentle, quiet, calm exhalation.
安静地深呼吸几次 Take a few deep breaths in silence.
拥抱这份安静 静止 Embrace the silence, the stillness.
拥护你自己 你的情绪 Embrace yourself, your emotions.
下次呼气 And on your next exhalation--
深深 缓慢 安静地呼气 deep, slow, quiet exhalation,
睁开你的眼睛 open your eyes.
如果你身边的人睡着了 If the person next to you is asleep,
轻轻地把他或她唤醒 gently wake him or her up.
放飞想象 Just imagine
想象你将体验怎样的生活 Just imagine the kind of life that you can experience --
你将拥有怎样的生活 hush-- the kind of life you can lead,
如果你真的 if you truly, genuinely,
准许自己为人 really gave yourself the permission to be human.
它是健康人生的支柱之一 It's one of the pillars of healthy life,
不论是心理上还是身体上 psychologically, physiologically.
试试吧 So try it.
每天提醒自己一两次 Everyday remind yourself just once or twice
准许自己为人 to give yourself the permission to be human.
同样也准许别人这样做 And give others that same permission.
你们应得的 You deserve it.
周四见