大家好 Hello
我叫Pearl Hoddling Hi, My name is Pearl Hoddling
是来自Kirkland House的大四学生 And I'm a senior in Kirkland House
我希望你们能在这周六上午10点 And I'm here to ask you to join me this Saturday
到下午2点参加Hendriana和Maquat的免费薄饼计划 from 10 to 2 for free pancakes from Hendriana's table and Maquat
九年前 Nine years ago
我父亲被诊断出患有帕金森症 my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease
一种神经疾病 a neurological disorder
尽管他 我的家人和我经历了很多起伏坎坷 Though he, my family and I have gone through many ups and downs
既是生理上的 也是情感上的 both physical and emotional
我最终找到一种方式来献绵薄之力 I finally found a way to help
一个明确的选择 a definitive op
我想参与这个活动"帕金森薄饼" I want to put on this event ＂Pancakes for Parkinson's＂
已经办了好几年了 for a few years now
直到今年我才鼓起勇气参加 And I didn't get the guts to do it until this year
谢谢你 Tal Thank you. Tal
帮我克服我的拖延症 for helping me to get over my procrastination
开始积极地 and start building a positive spiral
来寻找治疗帕金森的方法 for finding a cure for Parkinson's disease
所有捐赠直接捐给Michael J.Fox All donations will go directly to Michael J.Fox foundation
帕金森研究基金 for Parkinson's research
期待周六10点到2点你们的参与 So please come between 10 and 2 this Saturday
出于善意来享用薄饼 to enjoy pancake for a good cause
谢谢 Thank you
我叫Maureen Hilton Hi, My name is Maureen Hilton
我也是这门课的一个学生 And I'm a fellow student of this class
我在哈佛工作 And I work here at Harvard College
我想邀请诸位 I would like to invite you all
来参加我的积极心理学报告 to my positive psychology presentation
是下周五 which is next Friday
5月9号下午两点在哈佛礼堂 May 9th at 2 pm in Harvard Hall
下周五的主要目的 The main goal hope for next Friday
是希望能聚集 is bring together in one room
哈佛所有对积极心理学有兴趣的人们 people interested in positive psychology here at Harvard
包括各层次的哈佛管理人员 This includes Harvard administrators of all levels
这门课的教师 学生 the class's teaching staff, students
不管是曾经上过幸福课的 whether they are alumni of past positive psychology class
或是正在上的 or current students of this class
不管是本科还是继续教育 whether college or extension school
或者希望未来能拥有积极心态的学生 or students who hope that there's positive psychology here in the future
以及你们想邀请的任何人 and certainly anyone you would like to invite
希望这能成为你们一次分享故事 Please let this be an opportunity for you to share your stories
以及这门课如何影响你人生的机会 and the reasons why this class has impacted your life
此外 And in addition
为了协助这次聚会的联系和交流 to help the networking and socializing part of this gathering
哈佛Callback合唱团会进行演出 the Harvard Callbacks will be singing
你们可能认识的大四学生 Gina the seniors who you may know - Gina
Skylar和Kedar会表演他们 Skylar and Kedar will be singing their solos
可能在哈佛的最后一次独唱 for possibly the last time here at Harvard
现场会提供免费食物 And there will be free food
诸位可以随意邀请想邀请的人 Again, please feel free to bring and invite anyone you like
尤其是希望未来还能开设 especially fellow students who are hoping
幸福课这样一门课程的同学 there's another positive psychology course in the future
无需回复 No RSVP's necessary
来就行了 Just come
因为我们给哈佛教务处留下的 Because what we'll definitely leave a lasting impression
最深印象 on the Harvard administration
就是我们一起享受愉悦的感觉 is if together we create a little peak experience
并聚集了一屋子为了幸福课 and fill a room of people who come together
能有所提升的人 for the promotion of positive psychology
希望你们下周五能来 Please come next Friday
5月9号 May 9th
下午两点在哈佛礼堂 at 2 pm at Harvard Hall
谢谢 Thank you
我也不知该说什么 I don't really know what to say
所以我找了别人来替我说 So I ask someone to say it for me
(录像:大青蛙布偶秀"道别") [VIDEO: THE MUPPET SHOW ＂Saying Goodbye＂]
挥手道别 Saying goodbye
扬帆启程 going away
"再见"一词哽塞在喉 Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say
双手紧握 Touching our hands
想问为何 wondering why
又是别离时分 It's time for saying goodbye
Kermit Kermit!
再见 Goodbye!
再见 Goodbyyyyyyyye!
挥手道别 Saying goodbye
满心伤悲 why is it sad?
又回忆起过去的好时光 Makes us remember the good times we've had
千言万语 Much more to say
欲言又止 foolish to try
又是别离时分 It's time for saying goodbye
不舍离开 Don't want to leave
你我都懂 but we both know
有时离开也许更好 Sometimes it's better to go
而我知道 Somehow I know
终会重逢 we'll meet again
虽不知何时何地 Not sure quite where and I don't know just when
你永在我心 You're in my heart
重逢之前 so until then
又是别离时分 It's time for saying goodbye
而我知道 Somehow I know
终会重逢 we'll meet again
虽不知何时何地 Not sure quite where and I don't know just when
你永在我心 重逢之前 You're in my heart so until then
带着微笑 Wanna smile
也噙着泪 Wanna cry
与你道别 啦啦啦啦 Saying goodbye~~~La la la la
啦啦啦啦 la la la la
又是别离时分 It's time for saying goodbye
啦啦啦啦 La la la la
啦啦啦啦 la la la la
啦啦啦啦 La la la la-la la la
我需要你们的帮助 So I need your help
我十分紧张 I'm so very nervous
我该怎么办 What can I do?
冥想? 谢谢 Meditate? Thank you
锻炼 现在? Exercise? Now?
你是说跳舞吗 You mean dance? OK
讲个笑话 Tell a joke
你们给我讲吧 You tell a joke
还有什么别的建议没 What else? Any suggestions?
拥抱 好主意 Hug someone! Good idea
至少要12个拥抱 对吧 At least 12 hugs, right? Yeah
还有什么 深呼吸 很好 Anything else? Deep breath! OK. Good
紧张也没关系? 谢谢 So it's OK to be nervous? Thank you
我已经感觉好多了 Feel better already
这是我在哈佛的最后一节课了 So this is for me the last class at Harvard
还有谁也是一样 Who else is in the same boat?
你的最后一节课 Wow. Your last class
我今天想做的是 What I'd like to do today is
尽可能地总结一下我们一路来 summarize what we've gone through some of the journey
所得的一些收获 as much as possible
我想和你们分享 And what I'd like to do is to share that
这个总结的责任 the responsibility of summarizing
你们也要一起分享 to share it with you
所以我想从你们思考和回忆课程内容开始 so I'd like to start with you thinking and reflecting about the course
换言之我们今天这节课 In other words, we are going to run the class today
就像个亲密互动环节 like a small intimacy section
之后我会讲一遍我认为的 Afterwards I'll go through what I think of some of the highlights
这学期的一些重点知识 main points from the semester
我想先从你们开始 So I want to start with a time-in
给你们机会回顾一下 an opportunity for you to reflect
我尤其希望你们能够回顾 And specifically I would like you to reflect
以下主题 并把它们写下来 on the following things and actually write them down
翻阅一下你们的笔记 搜索一下脑海 So go over your notes or go over your mental notes
写下至少两样你觉得这学期最有意义 and write down at least two things that were particularly meaningful
或你觉得最有趣的东西 or interesting for you from this semester
不管是课上听到的内容 whether it's something that you heard in lecture
小组讨论时的话题 something you discussed in section
你阅读时读到的东西 something that you read
课后你和朋友讨论过的 something that you talked about with your friends after class
和这门课有所联系的问题 and somehow was connected to your experience here
什么都可以 至少两样对你来说最有意义 anything or at least two things that were personally meaningful
或最有趣的东西 and interesting to you
这是第一个内容 So this is the first thing
我想让你们写下的第二个内容 The second thing that I'd like you to write down
你们可能以前试过 and you may have done it before
可能以前写过 You may have written it before
至少两样你所决心做的转变 at least two commitments that you are making
两种行为转变或态度转变 two behavioral changes or attitudinal changes
两样你要付诸实施的改变 two commitments that you are taking upon yourself
既然学期也都快结束了 now that the semester is almost over
再说一遍 至少两样有意义或有趣的事 So again, two meaningful or interesting ideas at least
以及至少两个转变 and at least two commitments
不管是建立习惯 whether it's in the form of rituals
态度转变 或行为转变 attitudinal change or behavioral change
花一点时间把它们写下来 So take just a few minutes to do that in a time-in
好 OK
现在我希望你们做的 当然是完全 Now what I'd like you to do - and this is completely voluntary
自愿的 of course
就是分享一些你们学过的 is share some of the things that you've learned
或至少一样这学期学过的有意义 or at least one thing that you learned that was personally meaningful
或很有趣的东西 or interesting to you from this semester
以及如果你们愿意的话 and if you feel comfortable
那两样转变其中的一样 the one of the two commitments
或两样一起分享给 or both commitments that you've taken upon yourselves
你身边的那位同学 with the person next to you
或你身边的两位同学 or with two people next to you
花五分钟来彼此分享一下 So take just 5 minutes to share with one another
一样有趣或有意义的事 one interesting or meaningful thing
以及一到两种转变 and one commitment or two
好 OK
我希望你们在今天或人生中 I hope you continue the rest of your day
余下的时间还能继续分享学过的知识 for the rest of your life sharing what you've learned
正在学的知识 what you are learning
你如何成长 how you are growing
我现在想做的是 Now what I would like to do is
听听你们讲讲一样 hear some of you just talk about you know one thing
你认为它 perhaps that you find
有趣或有意义的事 found interesting or meaningful
可以是课堂内容 也可以来自其他涉猎 that could be directly from the class or something tangential
但却是这学期对你来说有趣或有意义的东西 but what was meaningful or interesting for you this semester
我们把话筒在整个教室传递 And we have some microphones spread around the room
有没有人愿意做第一个自愿讲讲的 So if anyone would like to be the first one, to volunteer
还记得吗 勇气并不是没有畏惧 remember courage is not about not having fear
而是有了畏惧还坚持向前 it's about having fear and going ahead anyway
如果勇气是没有畏惧 If courage was about not having fear
我就不会来教这门课了 I would not be teaching this class
Elizabeth Elizabeth
我觉得对我来说最重要的东西就是 I think for me what the most important thing was was the idea
自我和谐的目标 of self-concordant goal
不是浮躁或自私的 not being frivolous or selfish
而是一种每个人都应该 but actually being something that
积极追求的 可以帮助你身边的人 one should actively pursue and can help the people around you
而非别人让你追求什么 你就追求什么 more than by pursuing that what you are told to pursue
很好 消除自我和他人之间的分歧 Great. So essentially dissolving this divide between self and the other
还记得吗 And remember
达赖喇嘛 当他到了西方国家后有多惊讶 the Dalai Lama - how surprised he was when he came to the west
他听说我们的"同情"这个词 and he heard our word for compassion
指的是对其他人的同情 means essentially compassion toward others
而藏语中Sawai既指对他人的同情 whereas Sawai in Tibetan means compassion toward others
也包括对自我的同情 and compassion toward oneself
它们是彼此交融的 They go hand in hand; they are intertwined
所以要找到自我和谐的目标 So identifying our self-concordant goals
很大程度上就是要帮助自我 is very much about helping ourselves
并最终使世界变得更美好 and ultimately making the world a better place
非常好 谢谢你 Wonderful. Thank you
我觉得Roger Bannister对我来说很有意义 I found the Roger Bannister story really meaningful to me
尤其因为我现在明白了一切皆有可能 especially because now I know nothing is impossible
即使科学家说有些事是不可能的 even there are scientists telling you things are impossible
你也还是可以做到的 You can still achieve them
对 人们经常会跟说 这是不可能的 Right. You know so often people tell us that it's impossible
你做不到 you can't do it
我们的脑海中总是回响着这样的声音 And we have that voice at the back of our mind
这些狭隘的想法 those limiting beliefs
这种狭隘既包括对我们的感觉 whether it's limiting beliefs about how we can feel
也包括我们所能做到的事 can feel; and what we can achieve
而Roger Bannister的故事 And what Roger Bannister's story does
能够帮我们打破一些这样的束缚 what it helps us do is chip away some of these limitations
挖掘自身的潜能 and understand our potential
谢谢你 请说 Thank you. Yes
那天你提到了关于你祖母的故事 The day when you told the story about your grandmother
她是如何历经坎坷后 终于看到 and how she was able to still see so much beauty in the world
世间种种美景的 after everything she had been through
这深深地打动了我 was very, very moving for me
在这样的学术氛围中能如此感动 And that was a very unique experience to
实在是一种特殊而难得的体验 be so emotionally moved in this academic setting
真的很有力量 So that was really powerful
也使我重新审视自己 And that really made me reevaluate the way
看待人生的方式以及 I look at my life and the way that
珍惜我所有的东西的方式 I appreciate the things that I have
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you, Thank you
我很喜欢那个"我们忘记坏事情 I really like the idea that we can get over things
比我们想象的快得多"的观点 bad things a lot quicker than we would anticipate
我经常思考这一点 I just think that you know so often
我们总是骗自己说有多成功 we cheat ourselves of so much success
多么有潜能 多么快乐 so much potential, pleasure
但我想 but I think, you know
朝着目标向前冲 just the idea of going forward and
就算没能达到也会最终释怀的想法 that we will ultimately get over it if it doesn't work out
是非常重要的 That's really important
没错 Right, yes. So you know
我们有所成就时 just like when we achieve something good
能回复平和 感觉就像从前一样 we go back to base level and feel like as we did before
而当我们失败时 also when we fail
要是知道我们是能重新振作的 And it's a real liberating feeling to know that
是会很快恢复的 that we are resilient
是很能让人解脱的 that we will recover
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
在我看来 找到竞争主义者和享乐主义者之间的 For me, it was important to realize balance between the rat racer
平衡点很重要 and the hedonist
以及短期益处和长期益处之间的平衡 finding the balance between short term benefit and long term benefit
是的 Right. You know
人生经常会遇到"非此则彼"的情况 so much of our lives is about ＂either or＂
要么我是个成功的竞争主义者 Either I'm a successful rat racer
要么就是个放弃成功的享乐主义者 or I'm a hedonist who has given up essentially on success
而我们其实通常都能将两者融合 Whereas what we can very often do is reconcile the two
就像咬一口蛋糕还保持其基本完整 You know, eat the cake and leave it whole - so it seems
长远益处和近期益处的结合 Future benefit and present benefit in one
谢谢 Thank you
被人所知而非被证明 以及你教课的方式 To seek to be known and not validated - and the way you taught the class
比如上课前会讲 opening up, let's say
你人生中经历的许多失败 each individual failure you had in your life
我就觉得自己 I found myself
我自己的失败 它们是不同的 my own failures - they are different
但又是统一的 but they are the same
我觉得没那么孤单了 I felt less lonely
谢谢 你知道吗 Thank you. You know when
我在第一节课就讲过的 Carl Rogers说过 what I shared at I think the very first class here was what Carl Rogers said
"最个人的也是最大众的" which is ＂what is most personal is most general＂
因为从本质来说 这些都是人性 Because deep down humanity is humanity, is humanity
当我们活在这世上 有被了解的欲望 And when we live in the world with the desire to be known
表达自我 expressing ourselves
这是我们最能和他人触碰的时候 that's I think when we can reach out most to others
不管是爱情 whether it's in a romantic relationship
友情 whether it's in friendships
或是同学之间 whether it's in a classroom
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
我从这门课上学到的一点就是 One thing I would take away from this class is
要学会感恩 to be conscious about being grateful
因为有时我感觉 because sometimes I feel that
人们总是把最爱的人当做理所当然 you take for granted the people you love the most
感恩 我们的周围和内心 To be grateful - there are so many treasures of happiness
都有那么多快乐和幸福 of well being all around us and within us
最重要的是睁开我们的双眼 And the challenge is just to open our eyes
去感受它们 to appreciate them
请说 Yes
对我来说特别棒的就是 What was really amazing to me
这门课对其他不是学生的人很开放 was how open others where not in the class
比如家人以及其他不学这门课的同学 such as family and other friends not in the class
同样也能这样改变他们的人生 to also take on this change in their life
他们并不会刻意感觉到这对他们有好处 They didn't see it as some cookie self-help thing
而是 but really as
"对 也许我该记下所有 ＂Oh yeah, maybe I should take note of
我生活中该感恩的东西" 以及其他的 all the things I'm grateful for in my life＂and other exercises
是的 Yeah, you know
这就是传递 this is paying it forward
有时我们很害怕说出自己看重的东西 Sometimes we are so afraid to talk about things that matter to us
而当我们说出它时 And when we do
当我们是真实的 and when we are real
当我们是真挚的 when we are genuine
当我们表达自我时 when we express ourselves
这些东西是会传染的 these things are contagious
我们会将其传递出去 And we pay it forward
它们再继续不断传递 And then they pay it forward
谢谢 请说 Thank you. Yes
在学这门课之前 Before taking this class
我将自己的悲喜都归咎于周围的事物 I blame my mood and my happiness a lot on those going around me
比如我的环境 like my circumstances
学这门课真的帮到我很多 So taking this class really helped me
意识到周围环境其实并不会掌控你的快乐 aware the circumstances really don't control your happiness level
我应该更积极地了解自己的感受 that I have more than an active role like how I feel
是的 Right. You know
还记得我们讲过 remember one of the things we talked about is that
至少我不认为什么事都能一帆风顺 at least I don't believe that things necessarily happen for the best
有时我们会遇到坏情况 You know there are some times where there are bad circumstances
糟糕的情况 poor circumstances
艰难的情况 hard circumstances
最大的挑战其实是我们如何 the challenge though is how can we make the best
能更好地利用发生的一切 of that which have happened
我们确实比自己想象的更有力量来掌控 And we do have much more control over it than we think
请说 Yes
这门课让我几乎每天都能很多次地 The class allowed me so many times during almost every day
感受到我是个普通人 to understand something is part of me being human
我允许自己为人 as part my permission to be human
而不是自己臆想出来的 rather than conceive it as my feelings
或者总想着我没做好的事 or something that I wasn't doing well enough
允许为人 So the permission - you know
我反复多次提到了它 并将继续提到 I've repeated it for so many times and I'll continue to repeat it
即使到了生命最后几分钟也会继续 until use every last minute that I have to do it
因为从很多方面来说它确实是幸福的基础 because it's really on so many levels the foundation of well being
不幸的是我们如今的文化 And unfortunately too much in our culture today
过于强调我所说的 what is going on is what I call
"巨大的骗局" ＂the great deception＂
我们认为每个人都很棒 就我不行 where we think well everyone is doing great except for me
所以我要假装我也很棒 So I'm going to pretend that I'm doing great too
然后我们就成了"巨大骗局"的一部分 And then we become part of that great deception
一定要反复强调 reinforcing it
允许为人 The permission to be human
请讲 Yes
关于完美主义的那些内容 The whole piece about perfectionism
我从没觉得自己是个完美主义者 I have never seen myself as a perfectionist
我觉得那是种自我否定 and I think it's just kind of self denial
通过课堂上的练习以及 So through the exercises in the course as well as
课本的内容 you know in the book
我们做的各种阅读 真的使我 different readings that we've done have really allowed me to
去探索 去接受它 explore that, and accept that
并主动地作出改变来远离它 and make proactive changes in my life to grow away from that
很好 完美主义同样是人们经常隐藏的 Great. You know perfectionism is again another thing that so many people hide
因为完美主义者从定义上说就不愿意显露出弱点 because perfectionist almost by definition doesn't want to show the weakness
正如我在课上所说的 And as I mentioned in the class
我认为不完美主义是在向着 unperfectionism for me has been the most important
幸福前进的道路上最重要的一点 in terms of my progression toward becoming happier
接受不可避免的失败 Accepting failure as an inevitable
接受人生不会是一条直线 accepting that life is not a straight line
而是有起有伏的螺旋 but rather a spiral with ups and downs
但主轴仍然在 along with the general trajectory
也就是进步 成长 和允许为人 as improvement, growth and permission
我觉得最有共鸣的一点就是 So for me one of the things that really resonated
就是重新构建问题 was the idea of reframing the question
在学期刚开始时 At the very beginning
你讲到消极和积极的研究 you spoke about the fact that there was the 21 to 1 ratio
所得到的21:1的比例 of negative to positive research
对于我这样马上要进行神经生物学研究的人来说 And as someone who will be going into research in neurobiology
能够重建世界观是很有趣的 it was really interesting just reframing of a world view
开始思考 just start thinking of
也许 well perhaps
开始思考对于研究来说什么是最重要的 start looking at what is working in terms of research
我会在自己的学术领域中用到它 And, so I will take that with me into my academics
问题的重要性 问题能创造我们的现实 The importance of questions - questions create our reality
还记得公车上的孩子们的问题吗 Remember the question of the children on the bus
很多人都忽视了 which most people completely missed
年复一年我们在城市中对高危人群 remember years and years of research that was done in the inner cities
进行研究 with at risk population
却总是找不到改善他们生活的方法 where they missed the answer to how can we improve their lives
因为他们没有问出积极的问题 They missed it because they did not also ask the positive question
我很快会讲 这也适用于我们生活的各个方面 And it applies into every area of our lives as I'll talk about soon
请说 Yes
此前我一直是个拖延的人 Before, I always procrastinate
这是我学习中的大问题 That is my big problem for my academic
现在我进步了很多 Now I improved a lot
非常感谢你 Thank you very much
拖延症 Procrastination - you know
70%的大学生抱怨说有拖延症 70 percent of students in universities complain about procrastination
这是个大问题 It's a huge issue
克服它的一种方式 And one of the ways to overcome it
克服它的最好方式就是去做 the best way to overcome it is to just do it
还记得五分钟休息吗 Just start - remember the five minute take-off
那非常重要 That's so important
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
我对我们 I was just really
阅读的Gilbert的作品印象非常深刻 really impressed with the reading that we read by Gilbert
讲的是关于生活中的好运 that was talking about how the good luck in your life
以及你觉得自己置身的美好状态 and the wonderful circumstances you find yourself in
其实都是你自己创造的 are really your own making
通过改变你的外表和衣着 And by changing your outlook and your patterns
你可以每日逐渐改变自己的幸福感 you can really make a difference in your happiness day to day
很多人活着会想 Yeah. You know so many people live lives and think
"这个..." ＂well…＂
要是我没遇到这个人就好了 only I didn't meet that person
要是这种事情没发生在我身上 if only this hasn't happen to me
我就会很幸福的 I would have been happy
要明白这其中很大一部分 And understanding that so much of it is
都是由我们的理解决定的是很重要的 determined by our perception is very empowering
请说 Yes
对我来说最有意义的 What has been most meaningful for me
其实就是这门课的存在 has been in fact that this class exists
有这么多人关心幸福 and that there are so many people interested in happiness
因为在哈佛这样的氛围中 cause you know the culture here at Harvard
我们不一定总有机会来思考这个 we don't always get the chance to really think about it
正如你所说 And as you said, you know it's
你只是提醒我们一些已经知道的事 you are just reminding us what we already know
也让我们知道 我们了解它是正常的 but it's also letting us know that we are not crazy for knowing it
是的 Yeah, we are not
我们并不孤单 We are not alone
我们需要有人提醒 其他人也需要 And we need that reminder and other people need that reminder
通过提醒其他人 And by reminding other people
我们也提醒了自己 we also remind ourselves
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
我觉得是正直的概念 For me it's the concept of integrity
因为我认为我们都是诚实的人 because I think we are all honest people
但就是每天的各种小事情 but it's the little things at times each day
让我们的信仰屈服 when we compromise our beliefs
或者让我们言行不一 or act in a way that doesn't align with how we think we should
这会对我们的自尊造成影响 and that that really takes toll on our self esteem
所以时刻意识到并保持我们的正直 And so the idea of being constantly aware of and maintaining our integrity
能让我们对自我感觉更良好 I think really stands to helps us feel better about ourselves
当我们说真话时 Because when we tell the truth
其实正给自己传递了某种信息 we are communicating a certain message to ourselves
当我们表达自我时 when we express ourselves
我们在给自己传递某种信息 we are communicating a certain message to ourselves
这个信息就是我的话有分量 我有分量 And the message is my words count; I count
当我们表达 When we express
"我很棒" ＂we are good enough＂
无需过分想给他人留下印象 don't need to put on a facade or impress
而这个信息 Then the message
这个自我知觉理论能提升 the self perception theory actually enhances
我们对自身的看法 how we feel about ourselves
更不用说对人际关系的提升了 not to mention that it helps interpersonal communication
也能使世界变得更美好 And the world would be a better place
如果越来越多人能够正直 if more and more people acted with integrity
那么同样自我和他人之间的分歧就会消除 And again, self and others divide dissolves
请说 Yes
你在课堂上和我们分享的 One the the phrases that you shared with us
一句话深深震撼了我 in your lectures that's really impacted me
我事实上已经将其作为了座右铭 and I've actually embraced it as a kind of personal mantra is
"学会失败 或从失败中学习 没有别的法子" ＂learn to fail or fail to learn; there's no other way＂
经过这门课的学习 我意识到 And I kind of realized throughout the course, this class
我曾经是个怎样的完美主义者 what a perfectionist I have been
以及我人生中有多少次 and how much time throughout my life
我的早期回忆一直在折磨自己 my earliest memories have stuck really torturing myself
焦虑 以及对犯错的恐惧 the anxiety and fear of making a mistake
重构这些 真正回头看那些不可避免的 and to reframe that and really look at those inevitable moments
失败时刻 能成为我前进的动力 where I messed up as you know fuel for moving forward, as opportunities
我面前突然一片开阔 has been wildly liberating
非常感谢你 So I thank you for that
谢谢 Thank you
"学会失败 从失败中学习"的概念 The notion of ＂learn to fail and fail to learn＂
其实也是我的个人座右铭 as you know is my personal mantra as well
它能让人解脱 It's very liberating
在人际关系中 It's liberating within the context of relationship
在学业成绩中 within the context of our academic performance
在一个组织的各个层面中 within the context of an organization on every level
重要的是要知道没有其他更好的学习方法 And it's important to understand that there is no other way to learn
不管是画圆圈或学走路 whether it's to draw a circle or to walk
这只是人生的一部分 It's just part of life
如果我们接受它 And if we accept it
我们就能更快乐 we are much happier for it
谢谢 Thank you
Elizabeth Elizabeth
对我来说特别有意义的就是 What's really been really meaningful to me in deciding
真正要专心追求的东西 what concentration to pursue
快乐是最终的目的 is the idea of happiness is ultimate currency
要试图消除外界的影响 and trying to kind of eliminate outside influences
认真思考对我来说有意义的到底是什么 and really think about what is meaningful to me
在我所学的东西中什么能让我快乐 and what will make me happy in what I study
谢谢 So thank you
最终目的 The ultimate currency
很多人说美国人 you know many people say about Americans
之所以抑郁水平不断攀升 that one of the reasons why the levels of depression are on the rise
之所以有那么多不快乐的人 one of the reasons why there are so many unhappy people
其中一个原因就是美国人有过高的期望 is because Americans have too high expectations
这是错的 And that's not true
我不同意 研究也不能证明这一点 I disagree with it; and the research disagrees with it
这不是高期望或低期望的问题 It's not about having high versus low expectations
而是正确或错误的期望的问题 it's about having right versus wrong expectations
这适用于很多领域 And it applies to, to many areas
但我们要明白的一点是 but one of the things to understand is that
我们在人生中从何处获得满足 where do we look to gain gratification from our life
是来自下一句赞美 Is it from, again getting the next accolade
下一次升职 或人们说我们有多棒吗 the next promotion or the people tell us how wonderful our concentration is?
还是来自我们想做的事 Or is it from doing what we want to do
换言之我们最终的目的所决定的事 in other words, being determined by the ultimate currency
而最终的目的就是快乐 and understanding that happiness is the ultimate currency?
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
我觉得这整个学期 这一整年 I feel that all this semester and all this year in fact
我都一直在 I have been trying to
要么上课 要么跑向实验室 I have been either going to class or running to lab or
寻找方法来填满我的每一天 just finding some way to fill up every hour of my day
似乎我永远在从一处跑向另一处 And it seems like I'm constantly running from one place to another
似乎我整个人生 And it seems all my life I have been
都在试图填满每一分钟 just essentially trying to fill up every hour of my day
我觉得特别重要的 And I feel what's really important and
我真的学到的就是你所说的 what I really got from this is what you said about
做得少其实是更多 doing less is more
我会很认真地在我接下来 And that's something I'm definitely going to take
在哈佛的三年中将这一点铭记于心 like keep in mind the next three years when I'm here
对 做得少其实是更多 Yeah, less is more
数量会影响质量 Quantity affects quality
我们经常好奇 And we so often wonder you know
"我为什么不快乐" ＂how come I am unhappy?＂
我人生中有这么多美好的东西 I have so many things in my life that are wonderful and amazing
这可能就是问题的一部分 And that could be part of the problem
因为更多不一定意味着更好 Because more is not always better
要把事情简化很难 这是很重要的 Not easy to simplify - that's so very important
非常重要 So very important
请说 Yes
复杂性另一面的简单性的概念 The concept of simplicity on the other side of complexity
我觉得非常奇妙 is so awful for me, because you know
当一个人成长时 when you grow up in life
就会加入各种各样的变量 变得越来越复杂 you add all these variables and it becomes more and more complicated
不能把问题简化是很让人沮丧的 And as a is certain frustration about not being able to simplify
但你说到了复杂的顶点后 But when you say at the top of the complexity
你会发现那种美 is when you realize the beauty
发现简单是出现在复杂之后 realizing that the simplicity comes after complexity
而非复杂之前 not before complexity
而对复杂性的理解 And the knowledge of complexity
那是个非常棒的概念 that's an amazing concept
Oliver Wendell Holmes讲到了 So Oliver Wendell Holmes talks about the simplicity
复杂性另一面的简单性 on the other side of complexity
这适用于不管是... 这门课大部分内容 And that applies whether it's to ideas - and again this class
都是很简单的 most of it is very simple
没有什么特别复杂的概念 And there were no very complicated concepts here
但它们很多都是复杂性另一面的简单 But many of them are the simplicity on the other side of complexity
对个人来说也是一样 Same on the individual level
我们经常会遇到困难 生活很艰难 Very often we go through hardships and our life is so difficult
我们会经历危机 严酷的考验 We go through a crisis, through a crucible
而我们要做的就是明白 And what we need to do to understand
当我们经历了这些复杂 艰难 when we are going through that complexity and hardship
严峻的考验和坎坷起伏之后 and the crucible and the difficulties
另一面就是简单 is that there is simplicity on the other side
通常我们要做的往往就是坚持 Very often all we need to do is hang on
再等待一会儿 Just wait a little bit longer
就会更清楚明了 And there'll be more clarity
更能成长 more growth
更能进步 more development
最终更快乐 more joy at the end of it
请说 Yes
在传递话筒时 On your passing on the mic
我在想 I was like
"天啊 我不知该说什么 ＂Oh my God, I don't really have anything to say
太多人了 我没法做到的" There are so many people, I will never do that.＂
然后你说勇气不是没有畏惧 And then you said courage is not about fearless
而是有了畏惧还坚持向前 but about having fear and doing it anyway
所以我一下就把顾虑都抛弃了 So I just threw my pack over the wall
就像"给我话筒 我要说!" I was like＂Give me that mic! I'm gonna do it!＂
而它现在在我手上 我在说话 And it's in my hand and I'm speaking
所以非常感谢 So thank you for that
就是这样 That's what it is about
这就是行为转变 It's about behavioral change
而不是理论 很好 Not in theory. Good
请说 Yes
你前几节课讲了关于匿名的世界 You've spoken in the past few lectures about in an anonymous world
如果一切行为是匿名的 我们会如何生活 and about how we would live if our action is anonymous
我认为知道我们真正想要的并勇敢追求 And I think that knowing what we want and actually pursuing
我们想要的东西是很有挑战性的 what we want is or can be really challenging
甚至是让人畏惧的 even frightening
能够真正了解自己想要的 It just seems like you really know what you want and pursued
并一心追求它 and pursue what you want
我觉得这是非常值得自豪的 And I think that is something to be really proud of
而你确实实践了你所教给我们的东西 And you definitely seem to practice what you preach and teach
因此我对你有着崇高的敬意 And I have enormous amount of respect for you because of that
谢谢 Thank you
你讲过很多东西 There are many things
但有一样我确实学到的就是 but one thing I'm really learned from this class is
专注于我们真正想做的事 it is important to focus on what we really, really like to do
你在课堂上说过很多次 You said many time in the class
教书就是你的使命 teaching is your calling
我能看得出来你有多热爱教学 And I can see how much you enjoy teaching
这让我很有感触 And it was really inspiring to me
我会记住这一点 So I think I will remember that
并不断寻找我的使命 and I will keep looking for my calling
我真正想做的到底是什么 and what I really, really like to do
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
找到拿着话筒的人 Let's take someone with the microphone
把话筒给你 And we'll get it to you
有人有话筒吗 Anyone has a microphone?
好的 Wait. OK
我以前是个总喜欢逃避问题的人 I used to be the kind of person who like run away from my problems
总是试图忽视问题 and I used to try to ignore them
直到它们消失 until they went away
而现在我不再这样了 And I don't do that anymore
因为我知道如果我不开心 Cause I know that if I'm unhappy
唯一能够解决的人就是我自己 the only person who can do something about it is me
我要做出改变 And I need to make a change
这门课给我了很多这样做的帮助 And this class has given me all sorts of tools to do that
谢谢 So thank you
谢谢 Thank you
我想谢谢你告诉我们承诺的力量 I just wanted to thank you for the idea of the power of commitment
它帮助我找到了工作 because it helped me get my job
一边是我想做的事 you know and something that I want to do
也就是记者 一边是我不太感兴趣的 which is journalism versus something that I wasn't excited about
公共关系 doing which is like PR
我想为此感谢你 So I wanted to thank you for that
因为你使我决定投身其中 because you know I decided to jump into it
抛弃一切顾虑 and throw my pack over the wall
所以我才找到自己想要的工作 谢谢 And that's why I got it. So thank you
事实上 You know
粉丝们好 Hi. Neiman fellows
是的 Yes
我记得你说过当拉伸肌肉时 I remember that you talked about when you stretch a muscle
它会变强 it gets stronger
由此引出"拉伸区"的概念 and brought up the idea of stretch zone
我以前没有意识到当我拉伸自己 And I didn't realize how much stronger I would become
去尝试做一些在我的拉伸区 when I stretch myself and do things that weren't in
和恐慌区里的事时 我有多强大 things in my stretch zone and my panic zone
谢谢你 I just thank you
我觉得这门课对我们很多人来说 because I think this class has really been the road map
就像地图一样指引我们改变 变得快乐 A lot of us have needed to change and becomes happier
谢谢 So thank you
谢谢 Thank you
各位下午好 Good afternoon, everyone
我首先想说你太棒了 I'd like to first of all say you are great. Yeah
我是Milwaukee公立学校体系的一名老师 And also I am a proud educator in the Milwaukee public school system
在座有将来想做老师的吗 Are there any future educators in the room?
"Milwaukee" ＂Milwaukee!＂
你之前讲过的 And what you speak of
Albert Bandura和自我效能理论 as Albert Bandura and the theory of self efficacy
是非常重要的 is so very important
任何对帮助青年成长或教育有兴趣的人 And anyone who is interested in youth empowerment or education
对孩子们有高期望 it's very, very important
是非常非常重要的 No.1 to have high expectations for our children
尤其是有色人种的孩子 especially children of color
作为教育工作者 cause as an educator
我明白Bandura和Dweck想表达的意思 I see what Bandura talks about and what Dweck talks about
对这些孩子来说弱化了的现实 this diminished sense of reality for these kids
为他们创建了一个完全不同的世界 that produces whole other world for them
我想强调并着重突出这一点 So you know I just want to really focus and kind of stress that
很感谢你讲了这个 And thank you for sharing that
对孩子有高期望是很重要的 That's important to have high expectations for children
当然对自己也是很重要的 and for yourselves of course
没错 自我实现预言经常会改变世界 Right. Beliefs in self-fulfilling prophecies so often create the world
我们的以及我们周围的世界 our world and the world of those around us
基于我们的信仰 based on our beliefs
我们再听几位 Let's take a couple of more
然后我再快速总结一下 And I'll do my quick summary
请说 Yes
好的 OK
请讲吧 Go for it
我知道这已经被提到好几次了 I know this has been mentioned a couple times already
但真的很容易将我们的不快乐归咎他人 but it's so easy to blame others for our unhappiness
或他人的行为 or others' actions
甚至我们自己的行为 or even our own actions for our unhappiness
但你说过很多次我们潜意识中 But you've talked so many times about what's going on
发生的事以及 in our own subconscious and how
潜意识的影响 what subconscious may be doing
可能才是阻止我们不快乐 错了 is might actually preventing our unhappiness
阻止我们快乐的原因 preventing our happiness rather
这让我回想起Marva Collins And it just brought me back to Marva Collins
如果学生做错了什么事 and how if a student did something wrong
她会让他们看一遍字母表说 she made them go through the alphabet and say
这些都是我好的方面 these are all good things about me
我们真的应该尝试去想 And it's really been enlightening to try to think about
我想的是什么 对他人不做什么 how am I thinking what am I not doing to others
或他人对我做什么 or what others are doing to me
但要思考是什么阻止我变成一个更幸福的人 but what am I thinking that's preventing me from being a happier person
很好 谢谢 That's wonderful. Thank you
再听两位同学 Let's take two more
那位同学 So up there
这门课上我印象最深的两样东西就是 I guess two things that really stuck with me from the class is
你放的小宝宝学走路的录像 the little clip you showed of the baby learning to walk
你想表达的是这个宝宝 And just like what you conveyed the idea like this baby
并不知道他为何会摔倒 has no reason to like have a sense of why he's falling down
也不知道他该为此感到羞耻 and it should be anything that he should be ashamed of
这是种很有效的方法让我们知道 And that was just like a very effective way to kind of convey like
我们要学会失败 从失败中学习 we always saying kind of learn to fail and fail to learn
这让我感触良多 That really stuck with me
以及你愿意说出你自己在做 And also your own willingness to describe your own kind of rises
心理学研究时经历的起起伏伏 and falls as you went through your studies of psychology
以及你在剑桥和哈佛的经历 and your experiences at Cambridge and Harvard
你愿意很开诚布公地和我们分享 and just your willingness to be very open about it
这让我感受到 It's kind of empowering like, for me is
我要毕业了 要继续发展 I'm about to graduate and I go forward
并不清楚自己想做什么 kind of maybe don't know what exactly you want to do
会考虑各种选择 and you consider different options
会感受到对失败的恐惧 and obviously that fear of failures
尤其是来自像哈佛这样的地方 especially when you come from a place like Harvard
更是让人倍感压力 is maybe especially xx
而你愿意和我们分享这些经历 You just you are willing to share these experiences and empowering
我就会重新考虑我要做的决定 I feel as I kind of question the choices I am going to make
对此我非常感谢 So I really appreciate that
谢谢 Thank you
请说 Yes
每一天都是美好的 Every day is a beautiful day
对此感恩能够让我们在做自己 And to be grateful for that somehow makes it easier to go out
不喜欢的事时能更轻松 and try to do things that maybe even we didn't like
以及常识其实并不那么人尽皆知 And common sense is not that common
这些都是... 学的很多东西都是我已经知道的 And these are all - a lot of things that I've learned I already knew
但我现在是在哈佛学到的 but now I learned it at Harvard
好的 很好 Great. All right
我们再听一位同学 Let's take one more
我是大四的 马上要毕业了 So I'm senior and I'm leaving
这可能是我在哈佛上的最后一节课 So this is my last lecture class at Harvard
如果我说的东西对于班里的低年级同学 So I apologize if this message seems a little more geared
太过难以接受 我将为此道歉 towards the undergrads in the class
我印象非常深刻的一点是 one of the things that I'm very impressed with
这样一门涉及面广泛的大课 is a large lecture class that is so far reaching
有如此多人想上这门课 as far as the number of people who want to take it
班里的同学各种各样 and the diversity of students in the class
但我想和大家分享的经历就是 But I guess this experience that I like to share is that
我来到这个课堂 I came into this class
我很诚实 必须承认 admittedly because I value honesty I will say I took it
我认为这会是对艰难的大四 because I thought it would be a nice complement
春季学期一个很好的补充 to an otherwise a difficult senior spring
我就想"这应该是门挺好玩的课" And I thought,＂Well, it'll be nice class to have.＂
在我大二时 And my sophomore year
我有点开始探索自我 I had gone through kind of a self discovery
压抑的生活让我用不同的方式来看待事物 post depression that made me kind of value things in a different way
我当时 So I've been
我有了大二的这些想法 I've been using these lessons that I learned sophomore year
我就想"也许这门课就是多余的了" And I thought＂Well maybe this class will just be redundant＂
结果后来我又在大四的春季学期 Turns out I went through another really difficult time
经历了艰难的时期 during my senior spring
抱歉 And um... Sorry
我最想和在座的低年级同学分享的 I guess what I'd like to relate to especially the undergrads here
就是如果你是大一的 is that it's very important if you are a freshmen
大二的 if you are a sophomore
甚至大三都不算晚 it's not even too late as juniors
最重要的是搞清楚 it's very important to prioritize
在学校里对你最重要的是什么 what's really important to you at this school
我告诉你们不是论文 And let me tell you it's not the paper
不是讨论的问题 it's not the problem set
不是当你的朋友需要你 it's not getting a full 8 hours sleep
空出一小时时 你却说要保证八小时睡眠 when your friends need your attention for an hour
因为这里的人是最重要的 because the people here matter the most
你以后会想念他们 And you'll miss them
如果你不珍惜现在和他们一起的时光 And if you don't spend time with them now
以后很难再有时间和他们共度 you won't have time to spend time with them later on
这非常重要 So it's very important
搞清楚真正对你有意义的是什么 prioritize what is meaningful for you
和你在学校中真正想做的事 and what you really, really want to do in this school
因为在你不经意间 because before you know it
它就要结束了 it will be over
谢谢你让我铭记这一点 So thank you for helping me remember that
使我的这个学期变得有意义 and making it meaningful semester
谢谢 谢谢你们 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
现在我来总结一下 Let me summarize
你们刚刚讲到的这些所有东西 All of these things that you already mentioned before
这些不一定是最重要的 these are not necessarily the most important
这些东西 These are the ones that
我无须翻阅笔记就能想到 for me without looking back on my notes came up
首先 First
你所问的问题 the questions that you ask
经常都会决定你所做的探索 will very often determine the quest that you take
如果我们只问消极的问题 比如 And if we only ask the negative questions such as
"为什么这么多人失败" ＂why do so many of these individuals fail?＂
我们就没法看到潜藏在 Then we won't see the potential for greatness
每个人心中的伟大 如果我们只问 that exists in each individual if we only ask
"我的人际关系该怎样改善" ＂How can my relationship be improved?＂
我们就无法看见身边的人 Then we will not see all the wonders and the treasures
所拥有的宝贵财富和奇迹 and the miracle that exist in the person next to us
我们同样要问积极的问题 We also need to ask the positive question
我的人际关系中有什么好的方面 what is good about my relationship?
我的同伴有哪些优点 What is great about my partner?
我自己有哪些优点 What is wonderful about myself?
什么对我最有意义 What is meaningful to me?
什么能使我愉快 What is pleasurable to me?
我擅长什么 What am I good at?
问题会带来探索 Questions start a quest
探索的内容取决于我们 And the kind of the quest they start depends on the quality
所问的问题 of the question that we ask
我们常说信念创造现实 The four minute mile - beliefs create reality
不仅是信念 更宽泛地说 Not only beliefs, but to a great extent
我们如何理解现实才是最后所得的结果 how we perceive reality is what actually comes true
Marva Collins相信她的学生 Marva Collins believed in her students
相信她的学生 然后奇迹发生了 believes in her students and miracles happen
那些朽木难雕的学生因为信念而成就卓越 Those unteachable ones become extraordinary because of beliefs
还记得John Carlton关于商学院学生的研究吗 Remember John Carlton's study once again about business school graduates
将卓越和平庸划分开的有两样东西 Two thing distinguish the extraordinary from the rest
一个是他们总在问问题 One was that they were always asking question
总想学习到更多 always wanting to learn more
心怀谦逊 对成长 幸福和自尊 having that humbleness that's so important for growth and well being
尤为重要 and self esteem
其次 And second
他们相信自我 they believed in themselves
他们有自信 They had the confidence
他们有自我效能通往成功和进步 They had the self efficacy to succeed and to thrive
我们如何提升信念? How do we improve the belief?
通过拉伸自我 去尝试 By putting ourselves on the line, by coping
挑战自我 by taking risks
通过具象化使我们明白自己可以做到 by showing ourselves that we can do it through visualization
成功没有捷径 There are no short cuts to success
学会失败 从失败中学习 Learn to fail or fail to learn
历史上很多成功的杰出人士 It is no coincident that the most successful
同样也是那些失败最惨重的人 extraordinary people in history were also the ones
这并非巧合 who failed the most
无论是在体育界 Babe Ruth whether it was in sports, Babe Ruth
比同时代任何球员三振出局次数都多 who struck out more than any other players of his time
但也打出过最多的全垒打 but also hit the most home runs
还有Michael Jordan whether it was Michael Jordan
一次次地表现出失败 who described his failures time and time again
赛点时最后一个绝杀没有投进 whether it's taking the game winning shot where he didn't make it
或不断重复的机械训练 or practicing over and over and over again
Thomas Edison 比任何科学家 It's no coincident that Thomas Edison
获得专利都多的人 the person who had more patents
同样也是失败过最多次的人 than any other scientist in history
这也并非巧合 is also the scientist who had failed the most times
还记得Dean Simonton对科学家和艺术家的研究吗 Remember Dean Simonton's work on scientists as well as the artists
最成功的往往是失败得最多的 The most successful ones were also the ones who failed the most
没有别的方法可以学习 There is no other way to learn
而且如果我们接受这一点 Moreover if we accept this
如果我们接受这种成长的心态 if we accept this growth mindset
而不是Carol Dweck所说的固定心态 as opposed to fixed mindset that Carol Dweck talks about it
我们不仅会更有进步 Not only we will be, improve more
也会更加快乐幸福 we will also be happier
因为这样就不会每次经历都是 because then not every experience is a threat to our ego
对自我 自尊的一种威胁 to our self, to our self esteem
如果我们接受失败是不可避免的 If we accept the failure is inevitable
不管是在人际关系中 whether in a relationship
存在失望和争吵 there are disappointments and arguments
还是在个人生活 or in individual life
或从国家来说 or on a national level
没有完美的国家 没有完美的人 no perfect country, no perfect person
没有完美的组织 no perfect organization
如果我们明白生命是个上升的螺旋 And if we understand that life is about this
而非一条直线 as opposed to about this
我们会幸福得多 we'll be so much happier
冷静得多 so much calmer
并且也更加成功 and paradoxically so much more successful
允许为人 世界上有两种人 The permission to be human - there are two kinds of people
不会经历情感创伤 who don't experience painful emotions
哪两种人 Who are they again?
精神病患者和死人 The psychopath and dead people
我很高兴你们都不是精神病患者 也都活着 I'm so glad none of you are psychopath and that you are all alive
这让这门课好上很多 It makes the class so much better
安全很多 so much safer
你不可能学完这门课后 You are not going to come out of this class
就能一直保持人生平顺 experience a constant high
没人能一直保持人生平顺 No one experiences a constant high
你还会经历坎坷起伏 You are going to continue to have those ups and downs
我希望你们唯一能 The only difference I hope
感受到的区别就是当经历感情创伤时 that you will experience now is that when you experience a painful emotion
你会看着它说 you will look at it and say
"我只是普通人 我很难过 ＂Oh, I'm human. It hurts
真希望事情不是这样 I wish it weren't that way
但我接受它 but I accept it
就像接受重力定律一样 just like you accept the law of gravity
因为重力定律是一种物理本质 because the law of gravity is as much part of physical nature
就像感情创伤是一种人性本质 as painful emotion is a part of human nature
允许为人 Permission to be human
在课堂上我们讲了很多种干预 We talked about many interventions that work in this class
大多数干预并不起作用 正如 Most interventions don't work as we've seen
Somerville的研究和其他研究显示的 whether it's with the Somerville study or others
而日记可以 Journaling works
在写东西时 我们在打开内心 When we write, when we open up
不管是写 还是和我们关心的人倾诉 whether it's in writing or sharing with a person we care about
可以是心理咨询师 And it can be a therapist
可以是好朋友 爱人 It can be our best friend, our partner
当我们分享 开放内心时 When we share, when we open up
我们就能建立一种感觉 we are able to make sense
用Antonovsky的话来说就是"关联性的感觉" create ＂a sense of coherence＂ in the words of Antonovsky
来看待我们生命中的经历 about the experiences of our lives
得到更高层次的快乐 and enjoy higher levels of happiness
这是有用的 It works
我们周围和内心有那么多快乐 There are so many treasures of happiness all around us and within us
而问题在于我们注意到它们了吗 And the question is do we notice them?
还是把它们想成理所当然 Or do we take them for granted?
回忆一下appreciate这个词 Remember the word, appreciate
有两种意思 It has two meanings:
一种是表示谢谢 这是很好的 one is to say thank you for something which is a nice thing to do
人们常说感恩是最高尚的美德 again, sister called the gratitude is the highest of virtues
感激是一件很好的事 It's a nice thing to be grateful
第二种意思也同样重要 The second meaning is no less important
意思是增值 Appreciate means to grow
当我们感激生活中好的方面 And when we appreciate the good in our lives
感激人际关系中好的方面 when we appreciate the good in our relationship
感激我们的伴侣 when we appreciate our partner
朋友 同学 our friends, our classmates
感激我们的国家 when we appreciate our country
这些好处就会增值 the good grows
不幸的是相反的事也会发生 Unfortunately the opposite is also the case
但我们不予以感恩时 When we don't appreciate
好的方面就会贬值 the good depreciates
世上没有完美的人际关系 There is no perfect relationship
没有完美的人 没有完美的国家 no perfect person, no perfect country
最重要的是要关注什么是有效的 The important thing though is to focus on what is working
感激它 它才能增值 Appreciate it so that it appreciates
很多人疑惑自己为什么总是不快乐 So many people wonder why they are not happy
即使他们已经得到了想得到的一切 even though they have all the things that they want in their lives
为什么 因为好东西太多有时也不是好事 Why? Because there can be too much of a good thing
还记得我最喜欢的歌吗 Remember my favorite piece of music?
Whitney Houston的《我将永远爱你》 Whitney Houston - And I Will Always Love You
10分满分 Straight 10
第二喜欢的 贝多芬第九交响乐 9.5分 Second favorite: Beethoven's 9th, 9.5
在一起播放 就是噪音 Play together - play together: noise
不是19.5分 10分或5分 Not 19.5, not 10, not 5
只是噪音 Noise
好东西太多也不是好事 There can be too much of a good thing
要将一切简化说起来容易 做起来难 Easier said than done to simplify
但记住我们说过比物质充裕 But remember that a much better predictor
更能带来幸福的是时间充裕 of well being than material affluence is time affluence
简化 果断坚决 Simplify. Assert yourself
在适当的时候学会说"不" Say no at times when it's appropriate
弄清楚你究竟 Find out what you really, really
真正想做的东西 然后去做 really want to do with your life and do it
最能预示幸福的是 人际关系 The No.1 predictor of well being - relationships
是最能预示幸福的 The No.1 predictor of well being
你现在和未来所经营的一段 an intimate relationship that you cultivate now and in the future
亲密关系比世界任何事都重要 matters more than anything else in the world
对甚至比问问题更重要 Yes, even more than a problem set
比考试更重要 even more than an exam
比我们有多成功 多被人景仰 even more than how wildly successful we are
更重要得多 and how admired we are
对 成功会使我们的幸福感陡升 Yeah, that will lead to a spike in our well being
而很快又降到基础水平 very quickly will go back to base level
就像获得长期聘用的大学教授 just like the tenure professors went back to the base level
就像彩票中了大奖的人 Just like the lottery winners
那些以为自己 And the highly successful individuals
非常成功的人 who thought they had made it
很快会回到基准水平甚至更低 and went to the base level and below
因为他们不知道什么会让他们更快乐 because they didn't know what would make them happier
这就是一种 Well, this is what can
其中一种让我们更快乐的方法 one of the things that can make us happier
经营一段感情就意味着为之投入 And to cultivate relationship means to invest in them
向其中投入时间 to put time into them
彼此分享和交流 To share, to open up
就像我们会投入 Just like we would invest
如果我们找到理想的工作 if we found our ideal job, ideal workplace
我们会将自己投入其中 we would start to invest then
人际关系也是一样 Same with relationship
电影总是在结尾时爱情才开始 Remember movies end where love begins
在大屏幕暗下来后继续经营感情 It's about cultivating the relationship after the screen comes down
在日落之后 此时我们的投入 after the sunset - that's where the investment
我们的投入才有了回报 that's where the return of investment comes
思想带给我们的前进是有限的 Our mind can only take us only so far
我很了解积极心理学 You know I know positive psychology pretty well
我实践了所有我教的知识 I apply everything that I talk about here
然而我真的觉得如果 However, I really think that if I was not
我不知道精神肉体联系 cognizant of the body mind connection
并将精神肉体联系应用于我的生活 and applying the body mind connection to my life
我一定没有今天这么快乐 I would be far less happy than I am today
为什么 因为我会屈服于上帝决定的基准水平 Why? Because I would be compromising on my base level God's given
基因决定的基准幸福水平 gene's given level of well being
因为当我们不锻炼时 Because when we don't exercise
就像打了镇静剂 it's like taking a depressant
我们必须和本性抗争 And we have to fight our nature
和本性抗争是很难的 And it's very hard to fight our nature
提升我们幸福的水平是很难的 It's very difficult to enhance our levels of well being
而同时要和本性抗争则是难以想象的困难 as is to have to also fight against nature is incredibly difficult
还记得灵药吗 So remember the wonder drug
每周锻炼四次 每次半小时 Exercise at least four times a week for 30 minutes
如果可以 如果你有兴趣 If you can, if you are interested
去做做瑜伽或冥想 do some formal yoga or mindful meditation
打坐冥想 sitting meditation
如果不行 那么至少 If not, at the very least
每天深呼吸几次 breathe -breathe deeply a few times a day
三次深呼吸就有显著效果 Three deep breaths can make a big difference
现在就可以试试 Now is not a bad time to do it
睡眠 可能的话八小时或接近八小时 Sleep - when possible 8 hours or somewhere around 8 hours a night of sleep
以及触摸 And touch
抱 拥抱 这个总被忽视的感官却非常重要 Hug, embrace - an underused sense is so important
被了解而非被证明 Be known rather than be validated
我们所有人都需要被证明 And again, all of us have the need to be validated
并不是说要完全去除我们依赖别人的自尊 It's not about getting rid of our dependent self esteem
但更首要的是被了解 去表达 but it is very much about first and foremost being known expressing
而非给他人留下印象 rather than impressing
人生会变得更轻松 更简单 Life becomes so much lighter, so much easier
更让人兴奋 so much more exciting
如果我们能表达自我 when we are about expressing ourselves
被了解而非被证明 Being known rather than being validated
无论是和我们的伴侣 whether it's with our romantic partner
家人 朋友 同事 同学 our family, our friends, our colleagues, our class
这都是在长期人际关系中 the foundation of the growth of intimacy
亲密和激情增加的基础 and passion in long term relationships
说起来容易做起来难 Easier said than done
这非常重要 It's so important
我想列出前十 Now I tried to have top 10
但我做不到 有一个不得不提 but I couldn't. I had to have one more
所以你们要谅解 so you'll have to excuse me
最后一点 能将所有东西整合在一起的一点 The last one and the one that brings together all the others
就是关于转变的内容 on so many levels is the one about change
终于讲到了 你们一整个学期就等着它呢 Finally. You've been waiting the entire semester just for this - well
希望不会辜负你们的期待 was worth the wait I hope
有两种... 事实上有很多种类型 There are two types - I mean there are many types
但有两种类型的学生 but there are also two types of graduates
上过这门课或其他 from 1504 or any other class or workshop
关于获得更高层次的幸福的课 that is about attaining higher levels of happiness
一种是会感觉很愉快 One that at best enjoys a temperate high
或美好的回忆 然后回到基准水平 Or nice memory and goes back down to base level
第二种同样感觉很愉快 And the second that enjoys maybe the same temperate high
虽然不可能持续整个人生 which cannot last our entire lives
但仍然在未来持续增长 but still enjoy continuous growth throughout their lives
其区别 最基本的区别就在于 And the difference, the primary difference
你是否发生了行为转变 is whether or not you introduce behavioral changes
还记得Peter Drucker说过 Remember Peter Drucker - what he said
每当人们去参加他的周末研讨班 whenever people came to him for a weekend - seminar intensive
他周一时都会说 he said on Monday
"别打电话跟我说这课有多棒 ＂Don't call me to tell me how wonderful it was
而是告诉我你开始变得不一样了" Call me and tell me what you are doing differently.＂
在他和世界上最成功 最出色 Because in his 65 years of experience working with the most successful
最聪明的人 the most inspiring
一起合作的六十五年间 the best and the brightest people in the world
他发现这才是能让人 what he's found that this is what extinguishes real
一直保持愉悦平和的原因 lasting change from a temperate high
不要告诉我这课有多棒 Don't tell me how wonderful it was
告诉我你周一做了什么改变 Tell me what you are doing differently on Monday
从现在开始进行行为转变 Introduce behavioral changes now
这就是改变的核心 This is the core of change
你们在这门课上学到的只是开始 What you learned in this class hopefully is only the beginning
仅仅是开始 only the beginning
回忆下在Carlton的研究中 because remember once again Carlton's study
成功的人 最快乐的人 The people who succeed, the most who are the happiest
就最成功地实现了终极目标 succeed the most in the ultimate currency
从长远来看 他一生都在学习 in a long term ones who are lifelong learners
永远在问问题 永远探索 always asking questions, always finding out more
有很多人都有很好的意图 But there are many people with good intentions
很多人都有很好的意图 many people with good intentions
但很好的意图还不够 but good intentions are not enough
我们需要的还有基础 What we also need is the foundation
实用的 严格的 the empirical, rigorous
科学的基础来起作用 scientific foundation of things that work
当我们了解这些东西后 And when we know these things
再将它们传递出去 then we pay them forward
和他人分享 then we share them
在很多人文及社会的学科中 包括心理学 In psychology among other social sciences and sciences in humanities
"你在哈佛收获了什么 得到了什么" "What you got here at Harvard? What are you getting here at Harvard?"
就是这样一种基础 is that foundation that can
来使世界变得更美好 that can make the world a better place
我教这门课不仅因为觉得它有趣 I don't teach this class only because it is fun for me
它确实很有趣 我觉得很愉快 it is fun; yes, it is very pleasurable to me
我说过我总是等不及到周二和周四 I told you I can't wait for Tuesdays and Thursdays
来和你们分享我最关心的东西 to share what I care about the most with you
是很有趣 Yes it's fun
但我教这门课不仅仅因为这个 But I don't do it just because of that
更因为我认为一些伟大心理学家的想法 I do it because I think the ideas of some of the greatest psychologists
我引用过 也讨论过的 that I have quoted and cited and discussed
他们的想法能使世界变得更好 their ideas can change the world for the better
1954年时Maslow写道 Maslow back in 1954 wrote:
"我不仅是对纯粹的冷漠真理 ＂I am not only the disinterested and impersonal seeker
公正客观的探索者 for pure cold truth for its own sake
我也很有兴趣关注人类的命运 I am also very definitely interested and concerned with man's fate
其结局 目标以及未来 with his ends and goals and with his future
我想帮助人类进步 改善其前景 I would like to help improve him and better his prospects
我希望教会他如何友爱他人 I hope to help teach him how to be brotherly
和平互助 勇敢坚毅 正直公平 cooperative, peaceful, courageous
我认为科学是达到这个目标最大的希望 and just, I think science is the best hope for achieving this
而在所有学科中 and of all the sciences
我认为心理学是最有潜力的 I consider psychology most important to this end
事实上我有时觉得 Indeed, I sometimes think
世界要么被广义的 that the world will either be saved by psychologists
心理学家拯救 in the very broadest sense
要么就无法被拯救" or else it will not be saved at all.＂
广义的心理学家 In the broadest sense of psychologists
这并不意味着 It doesn't mean that
你现在就应该去读个心理学的博士 you now have to go on and get a PHD in psychology
或潜心研究心理学 or to concentrate in psychology
而是要时刻意识到 But it means to be constant cognizant
了解你大脑中发生的一切 to be self aware of what is going on in here
这宇宙中最令人惊异的实体 the most wondrous and amazing entity in the universe
了解它发生的一切 to understand what's going on here
周围环境以及你的心 and there, and here
它们是如何联系在一起的 and how they are connected
并作为现实理想主义者来分享它 and to share it by being practical idealists
你们可以有影响 And you can make a difference
你们可以有影响 You can make a difference
每个人都有不可思议的力量 Because the one has incredible power
还记得吗 如果你让三个人微笑 Remember if you make three people smile
他们会让另外三个人微笑 and they make three other people smile
如此20次后 就能传到地球上每一个人 After 20 interations you'll touch every single human being on the planet
快乐是会传染的 Happiness is contagious
我再展示最后一段关于幸福快乐如何传染的录像 Let me show you one last video of how happiness and joy is contagious
爸爸要惹你们笑了 准备好了吗 Dad is going to make you laugh now. Ready?
他们会在怎样的世界中成长取决于你 What kind of world that they will grow into depends on you
取决于你是否首先 And it depends on whether or not you first and foremost
关注了自身 take care of yourself
引用甘地的话 In the words of Gandhi
"欲变世界 先变其身" ＂Be the change you want to see in the world＂
如果想要更快乐的世界 你自己先快乐起来 If you want a happier world, be that change
所有你们去的地方 All the places you will go
我想提醒你们 I would like to remind you
每次你们去一个地方 通常情况下 that every time you go to a place and very often
你都会坐飞机去 这样你每次去时 you will fly to a place that every time you go
都会听到一些会引起你反思 you will hear something that hopefully will trigger
照顾自己有多重要的东西 hopefully will remind you how important it is to take care of yourself
要照顾别人 because to take care of others
你首先要照顾自己 you first and foremost need to take care of yourself
当你坐飞机时 You know when you fly
乘务员会说 and the flight attendant says
以防紧急情况 氧气面罩会脱落 in case of any emergency and the oxygen mask comes down
首先自己戴上 在去帮助需要帮忙的人 first help yourself before you help others who need your help
因为这就是 Because that is the source
黄金法则的基础 the foundation of the golden rule
是更美好的世界的基础 It is the foundation of a better world
终极目标 The ultimate currency
每次你去某个美丽的地方 So each time you go to one of those wonderful places
国外或国内 exotic or otherwise
记住要简化问题 remember to simplify
记住照顾自己 remember to take care of yourself
记住要锻炼 remember to exercise
记住要果断坚决 在适当的时候说"不" remember to assert yourself and say no when appropriate
记住要经营你的感情 Remember to cultivate your relationships
记住你生命中什么才是 Remember what it is that is really
真正最最重要的东西 really important for you in your life
这个经历 This experience
这个学期对我来说非常特别 this semester for me has been extraordinary
它之所以这么特别首先是因为这些 And it was made extraordinary first by the amazing teaching staff
出色的教职员工 that we have
上台来吧 Won't you come up?
就几分钟 不用太长 Just a few minutes. A few minutes. Not more. OK?
你们不知道这幕后有多少工作 You have no idea what kind of work was going on behind the scenes
你们不知道 You have no idea how much
这每一个教职员工 how much each and every one of the teaching staff
主管助教Shawn和Debb 以及其他助教 the head TFs, Shawn and Debb and every one of the others
他们投入了多少时间来经营和你们的关系 How much they put into cultivating that relationship with you
他们花了多少小时 how many hours they spent
耗费了多少苦心和思考 how much, how many mindful and heartful moments they spent
我想感谢他们 也希望你们能感激 So I would like to thank them, and I would like you to thank them
他们的存在和 for their presence
所做的工作 for who they are
谢谢你们 来吧 上来 So thank you. Come up. Come up
做这些很麻烦 there are many of those to be made
但我想对我们的助教一些小小的表示 But I'd like to give our TFs a little token of appreciation
来庆祝你们的辛勤付出 The way to celebrate your hard work?
你想说些什么吗 Do you want to say something?
轮到你了 It's your turn
轮到我了 谢谢 My turn.Thank you
快 快 快 Quick, quick, quick. OK
其实我只想说感谢所有的助教 So I actually just want to say thank you to all of our TFs
辛勤的付出 for their great work
感谢到场的所有同学 以及进修的同学 Thank you to all the students here, the extension students
最重要的是 Most importantly
我想感谢我的妈...不 我要感谢Tal I'd like to thank my mo... No! I'd like to thank Tal
首先我要感谢Tal的祖父母 So firstly I want to thank Tal's grandparents for surviving
生下了他的父母 for his parents for thriving
然后生下了... 是吧 for you know what, yeah?
你们懂的 for you know what
我想感谢Tammy让Tal总是面带微笑 And I'd like to thank Tammy for putting a smile on Tal's face
以及Sherill和David将他和我们大家分享 and Sherill and David for sharing him with us
感谢给了我们接触人性本质的机会 And for the opportunity for all of us to be a little more human
让我们更人性化 谢谢 because we are humanless. So thank you
要感激你的不仅仅只有我们 We are not the only one who are in tons of grateful to you
你这学期感动了在场这么多人 其实一直都是 You've touched so many people here this semester and always
但这学期你的学生都写了感谢信 But your students this semester all sent in thank you notes
我们将它们集合成册送给你 and we've compiled them and bounded them for you
不管去哪你都可以将它带着 For all the places you go to, take it with you
谢谢 thank you
这是感恩书的第一部 That is volume 1 of the gratitude book
以后还有更多的信 More letters are coming in
你可以不断增加 So you can still send them
最后的最后 And finally it wouldn't be...
我们想给你一个表彰来记住这堂课 We want a token for you to always remember this class
以及这次伟大的机会 and this great opportunity
希望你以后每次上这门课时 something that you would hope to use
都会用到的东西 every time you teach this class in the future
不要有压力 I mean no pressure
因为你是首席 所以这顶帽子 Because you are king leader, and this hat...
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you. Thank you
太感谢了 谢谢 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
还有一件事 Just one more thing
最后一件事 One more, one more
谢谢 非常感谢 Thank you. Thank you so much
还有两点要说的 Just want to say two more things
我知道已经拖堂了 I know we are over time
十分抱歉 再占用一点时间 I'm really sorr.. Well one minute
我还想感谢一些人 I want to thank just a few other people
我想感谢坐在后面的Barry Reid I would like to thank Barry Reid sitting at the back
以及出色的摄制组 And the wonderful crew
这些摄制人员将课堂带回你们家 the wonderful crew who are bringing this class to your home
带到你们的电脑上 to your computers
最后 And finally
我想感谢在座各位 I would like to thank you
你们每一个人都是一整个世界 Each and every one of you is an entire world
这个世界正在 a world in the making
正在使你我所处的这个世界 in the making of this world - your world
变得愈发美好 our world a better place
谢谢 So thank you
保重 And take care
保重 Take a good care
谢谢 Thank you