各位早上好 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:Hi.Good morning.
早上好 很高兴又见到大家 Good morning.Welcome back.
希望你们都度过了一个愉快的假期 Hope you had a wonderful break.
恢复元气 释放压力 That you took time to recover,to de-stress.
这也是今天的主题 And as it happens,this is the topic today.
我们接着上节课继续讲 We'll continue from where we left off before break.
上回我们提出 事实上 So remember we talked about the idea that in fact,
压力不是问题 stress wasn't the problem,
这是压力研究最有趣 最令人惊讶 which was the most interesting,surprising- but in retrospect,
现在看来 也是最显著的发现 obvious finding of the research on stress.
压力本身其实是件好事 That stress in and of itself is actually good,
就像在体育运动中 just like in athletics,just like in sports,
我们给肌肉以压力 肌肉就会发展 增长 when we stress a muscle,the muscle develop- it grows.
我们心理上情感上给予自己压力 我们就会成长 When we stress ourselves psychologically,emotionally,we grow.
变得更开朗 更坚强 We become more resilient.We become stronger.
从小在无菌环境里长大 It's not good for a person
从未受过外界任何压力 who's just born to be put in a sterile environment
对人是不利的 and be protected from all the stresses of the outside world,
比如影响机体的细菌 such as bacteria for example,which stresses the system.
会使人体产生抗体 Cause it forces to grade antibodies.
所以长在无菌环境中对我们是不利的 It's not good for us to be in a sterile environment,
不仅指生理上婴儿的密闭环境 not physically- whether it's in a closing environment as babies,
缺乏运动 not physically in terms of not doing sports,
还包括心理及情感 not pushing ourselves,and also not mentally and emotionally-
所以我常常说 我希望你们遭受更多的失败 which is why I said you know time and again: I wish you fail more
因为艰难困苦 Because I think it is important to go through hardships,
能给予我们极大的锻炼 through difficulties.
结束"目标设定"的课程后 And in fact,we are going to talk about failure
就会开始关于失败的课程 right after we finish up with the "Goal setting" lecture,
我们会讨论完美主义 when we discuss perfectionism,
也就是对待失败的态度 which is all about our approach toward failure.
所以问题不是压力 而是缺乏休整 So stress is not the problem.The problem is lack of recovery.
不仅仅在哈佛 我们的文化中 And that is what we don't have enough of in our culture-
都对休息缺乏重视 not just at Harvard.
大多数办公场所 都没有足够的地方进行休整 Most workplaces- there is not enough place for recovery;
大多数学校 大学 in most school,most universities- which explains
所以压力转变为慢性压力 why levels of stress translate themselves to chronic stress,
变成了长期焦虑 translate themselves to chronic anxiety,
变成了抑郁症 translate themselves to depression.
就因为我们没有休整 It's because we don't have the recovery.
我们还讲了不同层面的休整 And we talked about recovery on the a few levels-
快速回顾一下 so just a quick recap.
微观层面上 休整可以是 We talked about recovery on the micro level,which is,
比如 每冲刺90分钟 就休息15分钟 for example,every 90 minutes of sprint,15 minutes break-
不要做马拉松运动员 要做短跑运动员 instead of marathon runners,being sprinters.
可以是15分钟冥想 It's 15 minutes meditation.
一小时的午餐 It's a one hour lunch,
给自己时间好好休整 where we really give ourselves time to recover.
可以是定期去健身房 It's going to the gym on a regular basis.
听15分钟喜欢的音乐 It's the 15 minutes of listening to our favorite piece of music,
与朋友聊天 等等 speaking to a friend or whatever it is.
这是微观层面上的休整 The recovery on the micro level.
上班时间进行休整的人... And people who recover,who have recovered during their work day-
河对岸的Teresa Amabile和Leslie Perlow等人 and this is research done across the river
经过研究发现 by people like Teresa Amabile or Leslie Perlow,
如果工作场所能提供休整 show how important it is in a workplace to have recoveries
能使员工效率更高 更有创意 and people who do it are more productive,
并且长期来看 会更幸福 more creative and in the long term,also happier.
提高工作满意度 Higher levels of job satisfaction.
中度休整包括一夜好眠 Recovery also on the mezzo level the full night sleep,
每周至少休息一天 the day off during once a week at least.
放松休息以便重新投入工作 Time off recreate so that we can create.
最后还有假期 节假日 长假 And finally,the vacations.Holidays.Longer periods.
如果我们片刻不停的运作 You see,the other thing that happens
会发生什么 when we are constantly on the run is that
我们错过了身边和自身的风景 we miss the beauty that's all around us and within us.
错过了获得快乐幸福 We miss the real potential for happiness,for joy,
欣赏日常生活中美的机会 for appreciation that surrounds us day in and day out.
所以我们把一切都当做理所当然 And that's why we take things for granted.
因为我们没有花时间去欣赏体会 Because we don't take the time to appreciate,to savor.
这有悖自然 And it's not natural to do so.
你们能想象 I mean can you imagine?
一头狮子生活在现代世界? Can you imagine a lion living in our modern world?
在麦肯锡或者投资银行上班 Can you imagine a lion working at McKinsey?
或者成为终身教授? Or in investment banking? Or being on the tenure track?
这很反常 大家都知道狮子要打瞌睡 It's unnatural.You know what a lion needs to do is yawn.
要追逐嬉戏 这才正常 They need to play.It is natural.
还记得我们头几节课 And remember what we talked about
怎么说的吗 during the first couple of lectures?
人性中视野的局限性 The constraint view of human nature-
服从权力 nature to be commanded must be obeyed.
人的天性需要休整 Our nature dictates that we need recovery.
所有动物都是 All animals do.
如果我们违背心理或生理需求 And when we frustrate a psychological,physical need,
就会为此付出代价 无论是需要休整 we pay a price for it,whether it's the need for recovery
需要身体锻炼 or the need for physical exercise,
还是需要某种维生素或蛋白质 or the need for certain vitamins or protein.
我们会为此付出代价 关键是 We pay a price for it.And the key is,
将这种本能的休整期引入我们的生活 to introduce these natural recovery periods into our lives.
关键就是集中注意 And here is the key.The key is focus.
同时关注工作与休整 Focus on both work as well as recovery.
想一下我们节前提出的问题 So remember the question that we asked before break.
处于相同的现代社会 拥有相似的雄心壮志 What makes some individuals succeed despite
为什么有些人能获得成功? living in a modern world or living with ambition and success?
他们知道 Well these individuals know how to focus
何时聚焦工作 何时聚焦玩乐 when they work,when they play.
套句老话 他们努力工作玩得开心 To use a cliché,they work hard and they play hard.
具体是什么意思呢?首先 要休整 What does that mean specifically? First of all,in recovery.
他们明白多则劣 少则精 They understand that quantity affects quality.
我们来看一下诺贝尔奖得主 Let me share with you a study that you read about in the book.
以色列心理学家Daniel Kahneman This is by Nobel Prize winner,
进行的一项研究 the Israeli psychologist Daniel Kahneman.
他曾获得诺贝尔经济学奖 后来成为了积极心理学家 Won Nobel prize for economics,turned positive psychologist.
他希望研究一天内 What he wanted to understand was the affective,
妇女的情感感情经历 the emotional experiences of women during the day.
他让一些妇女在经历了某些特定事件后 And what he did was ask women to evaluate their experiences
对此经历做出评估: right after they had that particular experience:
刚才的感觉怎么样 so what was it like for you?
这些经历包括工作 And they evaluated their experience at work.
购物 They evaluated their experience shopping.
与亲密伴侣 孩子 They evaluated their experience
共处的时光 spending time with their intimate partners,with their children,
与朋友共进午餐 等等 having lunch with friends,whatever it was.
评估一天内她们的心情 They evaluated how they were doing during the day.
结果令人惊讶 The most surprising finding of this result was that
这些妇女并不特别享受 these women did not particularly enjoy time
与孩子共处的时光 they spent with their kids.
这一结果让Kahneman很吃惊 Now this result was very surprising to Kahneman.
他和合作者进一步研究发现 When he probed further- he and his co-authors:
这些妇女并不是不爱她们的孩子 it wasn't the fact that the women didn't love their kids.
她们很爱孩子 I mean they love their kids.
对其中大多数人来说 孩子是她们生活中 For most of these women,kids were the most meaningful,
最有意义 最重要的一部分 important thing in their lives.
但是 她们与孩子共处的经历 However,their experience with their kids
通常并不愉悦 这是快乐的第二个组成成分 often was not pleasurable- the second component of happiness.
有意义但不愉悦 very meaningful,but not always pleasurable.
为什么呢?他们进一步研究揭露了确切的原因 Why? When they probed further,they found out exactly why.
因为这些妇女与孩子共处时 Because these women,when they were with their kids,
并不是真正全身心与孩子在一起 they were not really with their kids,
可能同时还打电话 meaning they were on the phone at the same time,
或者写邮件 or doing email,or thinking about what they had,
思考上班的事 或者要做的家务 they did earlier at work,or what they had to do later at home.
她们一心多用 并没有全身心与孩子一起 They were distracted.And they were not present with their kids.
单独来看 Now individually,discreetly,
她们可能和乐意与朋友讲电话 they may have very enjoyed being on the phone with a friend,
工作 思考工作 or doing work,or thinking about work,
或者等下要做的事 or thinking about what they have to do later.
这些活动单独发生可能很有趣 Each discreet individual activity may have been a lot of fun.
但是同时进行 就乐极生悲了 But together,it was too much of a good thing.
量影响质 And quantity affects quality.
听听这个类比 I mean,thinking about the following analogy.
听听这个类比 Think about the following analogy.
想想你闭着眼睛 全神贯注地 Think about your favorite piece of music
听你最喜欢的音乐 and listening to it with your eyes close and focus.
我最喜欢的歌是 So your favorite piece of music- if it's like mine,
惠特尼休斯顿的《我会永远爱你》 probably is Whitney Houston's "And I will Always Love You".
谢谢 Thank you.Yes.
英雄所见略同 There's another one here with good taste in music.
于是你听着惠特尼休斯顿的歌 And you listen to Whitney Houston
或者其他你最喜欢的音乐 or whatever your favorite piece of music is.
闭着眼睛 全神贯注 You eyes close and you focus.
然后从一到十打个分数 Then you rate it on a scale of one to ten.
绝对是满分十分 And of course,perfect ten: you are touched.
你深受感动 灵感迸发 You are moved.You are inspired.
于是又开始听第二喜欢的音乐 And then you listen to your second most favorite piece of music,
如果是我 which,if it is like mine,
会选贝多芬的《第九交响曲》 it's the chorus piece from Beethoven's Ninth.
你全神贯注地听着 And you listen to it.You focus on it.
然后从一到十打分 And again,you rate it on a scale of one to ten.
没有《我会永远爱你》这么高 Not quite high as "And I will Always Love You",
但也有9.5分了 but it's a nine and a half.
接着 为了达到最大效果 And then,and then,for maximum effect,
你把两首歌同时播放 you take the two pieces together and play them.
结果怎样? 19.5分吗 And what do you get? A nineteen and a half,right?
不 不是10分 连5分也没有 纯粹是噪音 No.Not a ten.Not even a five.It's noise.
这就是现代生活 This is modern life for you.This is modern life.
我们进行各种活动 生活中有这么多美好的东西 We have activities; we have so many wonderful things in our lives
但是又多过头了 But we have too many of them.
这会怎样呢? And you know what that often does?
这常常会导致内疚 沮丧 It very often leads to guilt and frustration.
为什么 因为我对自己说 这怎么可能 Why? Because I say to myself: how is that possible?
我喜欢做这些事 I love doing what I'm doing!
生活中能有这么多美好人事物 I'm so fortunate to have so many amazing,wonderful things,
我真是太幸运了 people,experiences in my life.
但我竟然不快乐 And yet I fail to be happy!
我肯定有什么不对劲 There must be something wrong with me.
不 你没有什么不对劲 No,there's nothing wrong with you.
这正常得很 就好像你不可能 It's perfectly natural,just like you will not be able to enjoy
同时欣赏两首歌 the two pieces of music played together even though
即使它们分别都是你最喜欢的音乐 individually they are your two most favorite pieces of music.
过犹不及 多则劣 少则精 Too much of a good thing.Quantity does affect quality.
这种情况常发生 You know,this happens constantly.
两年前 我教授积极心理学时 It happened to me two years ago
就发生过 when I was teaching positive psych.
刚开学一个月 It was one month into this semester,
我很困惑 为什么我不快乐 and it just didn't make sense to me: why wasn't I happy?
教学工作很顺利 The class was doing well.
我很喜欢上课 同时还担任咨询顾问工作 I was enjoying the class.I was doing a lot of work- consulting.
在全国进行关于积极心理学 I was speaking around the country
及以色列的讲座 about positive psychology,about Israel.
写作出书 I was writing and doing all the things that I love,
做各种我喜欢在乎 充满热情的事 that I care about,that I'm passionate about.
和家人在一起 Spending time with my family.
于是我退一步 发现我"过犹不及"了 And I took a step back and I realized "too much of a good thing".
一旦我减少活动量 And as soon as I cut the activities,
幸福指数又重新提升 happiness levels went back up again.
多则劣 少而精 Quantity affects quality.
两性关系研究者 Researchers on relationships and love,
Hendrick夫妇认为 the Hendricks couple (Susan & Clyde Hendrick),say,
"爱与性与压力成反比 "Love and sex are affected negatively by stress.
如果我们能帮助人们简化生活 If we can help people to simplify their lives,
降低压力水平 thus reducing their stress levels,it is very likely that
那他们关系的将会大大改善 people's relationships would be enriched greatly.
更重要的是 他们生活中的积极方面 Moreover,the positive aspects of their lives
也会相应得到提升" would be enriched accordingly."
它会影响我们生活的方方面面 It affects every area of our lives,whether it's our love life,
无论是爱情生活 与孩子共处 whether it's our experience with our kids,
工作 阅读 whether it's our experience doing work or reading,
与朋友共处 写作 spending time with friends or writing.
都可能造成过犹不及 There can be too much of a good thing.
所以如果我们把午餐作为休整 So if we have lunch and we use lunch as recovery,
同事还打电话 写邮件 and at the same time we are on the phone and doing email,
那就不是休整了 而是更多的压力 that's not recovery; that's simply more stress.
但如果我们只是享用午餐 享受美食 But if we have just lunch and focus on our eating and enjoy it,
或者只是与爱的人呆在一起 那就是休整 or just spend time with people we love,that's recovery.
专注是关键 工作也是如此 The key is focus.The same thing applies to work.
但是在当今社会 Now it's not possible in our world today,
尤其是处于领导地位 certainly not in leadership positions
你们很多人可能已经...或者将来即将体验 which many of you already got or will assume in the future,
不可能避免多任务 it's not possible to eliminate multi-tasking.
关键就是减少任务 The key though is to reduce it.
我们来统计一下 在座有多少人 Just a quick show of hands: how many people here,
从事需要集中注意力的工作时 while you are doing work that requires concentration,
无论是写作 阅读 that requires focus- whether it's writing,or doing reading,
或者其他什么需要专注的工作时 or anything else that requires concentration-
有多少人同时还开着邮箱的? how many people here have their emails on at the same time?
很好 占大多数 OK.It's the majority.
几乎所有人都这样 It's most people in the West that,who do that.
我以前也这样 后来我读到了这项研究 I used to do that too.Until I found out about this research.
当你开着邮箱 When you have your email on,
从事需要集中注意的工作时 while you are doing work that requires concentration,
等于智商减少10 整整10分 it is equivalent to taking off 10 IQ points.10 IQ points.
我不知道各位怎样 但我可不能少10点智商 Now I don't know about you; but I can't spare 10 IQ points.
作为比较 如果你一整晚通宵 Now for comparison's sake,if you lose a whole night sleep,
36小时不睡 so if you haven't slept for 36 hours,
也等于智商减少10点 your IQ is reduced by the equivalent of 10 points.
另一项比较: 如果你抽大麻 Another point of comparison: if you smoke marijuana,
智商会减少4 if you smoke grass,your IQ's reduced by 4 points.
所以如果你...面临选择 So if you have- look I mean it's the choice-
是要找乐子 还是降低智商 但千万别吸毒 more fun,less IQ points.Well but don't inhale.
希望你们没录到前面 Now I hope you didn't record that there.Here is the study.
伦敦大学进行过一项研究 This was done in the University of London.
上班时发短信的人 The IQ of those who try to juggle messages
智商会降低10 at work fell by 10 points,
与整晚通宵的人一样 the equivalent of missing a whole night sleep,
抽大麻才4.4点 比这2倍还多 and more than doubled 4.4 seen after smoking marijuana.
听着 如果你关邮箱2小时 Look,nothing will happen
不会发生什么大不了的事 if you switch off your email for 2 hours at a time.
什么也不会发生 除了这种情况: Nothing will happen.Except for thing that will happen.
你可能会收到另一条消息问: You'll get another message saying,
服务器是不是当了? you know- the server may have been down or,
你没收到我的邮件? so you are not sure you got my email.
其实你收到邮件了 Right you get those emails,
如果一两小时内不回复 if you don't respond for about an hour or two,
对方就以为服务器挂了 the server may have been down.
除此以外 什么也不会发生 But other than that,nothing will happen,
即使你不回复 if you don't respond to emails,
即使把邮箱关个两三小时 if you don't have your emails on for two,three hours.
同样 就算你不是每个电话都接 也不会怎么样 Nothing will happen if you don't answer the phone every moment.
除非你是救护车司机 Unless you are an ambulance driver,
那还是开着电话吧 in which case you should have it on.
除此以外 都可以关了电话 But otherwise,it's fine.Switch it off.
少做点事 可以完成得更多 Doing less- and when you do less,you get so much more done.
创造力提升 效率提高 工作满意度提升 Creativity goes up.Productivity goes up.Work satisfaction goes up
因为我们分心时 Because when we are distracted,
就会过犹不及 there can't be too much of a good thing.
我提到过很多技巧 I've spoken about so many techniques already.
比如记日记 I speak about some more about journaling,
表达感激 写感谢信 about doing gratitude exercise,about writing a gratitude letter.
今天我们还会讲到生理锻炼 We are going to talk about doing more physical exercise.
仁爱之举 等等 We talk about act of kindness and so many things,but
但是最关键不是要多做事 really the key thing is actually not to do the additional things,
而是少做 或者说是明确 but to do less,or rather to identify the things that
你真心想做的 然后坚定不移地执行 you really,really want to do with your life and do them.
因为多则劣 少则精 Because quantity affects quality.
人本主义心理学家Tim Kasser Tim Kasser,a humanistic psychologist
做过一项关于时间充裕的研究 has done research on time affluence.
我们已经知道 As we know from research,
物质充裕对于我们的幸福感影响不大 material affluence matters very little to our well being,
基本需求得到满足之外 beyond having our basic needs met,
几乎不会影响我们的幸福感 hardly even affects our well being.
但是 的确会影响我们幸福感的 However,what does affect our well being
是Kasser所说的"时间充裕" is what Kasser calls "time affluence",
这是一种感觉 我们感到时间充裕 which is the feeling that we have time,
感到我们能充分享受手头所做的事 the feeling that we can savor the things that we are doing,
而不是竹篮打水 做无用功 that we are not constantly chasing our own shadow,
东奔西跑 压力巨大 that we are not constantly running around and feeling stressed.
时间充裕的人 And people who have time affluence in their lives-
往往容易获得幸福感 that is a good predictor of well being.
这点我们可以详细介绍 And that is something that we can introduce.
即使现代生活 Granted,more difficult in a place like this
充斥着种种使人分心的诱惑 where there are so many appealing distractions.
我用了"使人分心"这个词 I'm using the word "distraction" here,
虽然这些诱惑 even though many of these things
对你来说可能美好精彩 意义非凡 may be wonderful,amazing,meaningful things to you.
但如果同时出现 But when they all come together,
很不幸 会让你分心 it becomes unfortunately the experience of distraction.
现代社会的运转常常与快乐对立 You know modern world functionality is being pitted against fun.
所以问题是 The questions is
如何让我们的生活 充满乐趣同时又正常运转 how do you make our life fun as well as functionality,
类似于当下与未来的利益 which is parellel to the present and future benefit.
我们知道要休整 重拾生活中的乐趣 And what we know is that we recovery,fun recovery in our lives-
听喜欢的音乐 listening to our favorite piece of music and
而且每次只能一首 only listening to our favorite piece of music and one at a time;
或者与朋友共进午餐 or having lunch with friends
与室友在家一起享用晚餐 or nice dinners in our house with our roommates.
当我们一起享受时光时 When we savor the time together,
不仅仅是快乐 而且有用 it's not just fun,it's also functional.
是正式休整 It's also a formal recovery.
问题是如何调和快乐与有用? The question is how do you reconcile? How do you do the 'and'?
还记得积极心理学提出的问题吗 Cause remember the question that positive psychologists ask:
快乐 健康且成功的人士 是如何达成这一切的? what do people who are happy,healthy AND successful do?
这一问题一经抛出 And once they started to ask this question,
就打开了所有可能性 it opened up all the possibilities,
出现了各种各样的回答 all the answers came rushing in literally.
其中一种回答是 聚焦工作 聚焦休整 And one of the answers is- focus on work,focus on recovery.
则工作效率更高 质量更佳 You'll get much more done and much better.
英语语言中最短的 One of the shortest- or the shortest word-
但又人人害怕的单词是 in the English language and yet people are so afraid of it,
"不" saying "no"-
无论是对寻求帮助的人说不 whether it's saying no to people who ask you something,
还是对眼前的机遇说不 again saying no empathically,or saying no to opportunities.
因为我们对某些机遇说"不" Because essentially when we are saying no to some opportunities,
对某些提议说"不"时 when we are saying no to some offers,
其实是对自己说"是" we are saying yes to ourselves.
那如何选择对什么说"不" And how do we choose what do we say no to
对什么说"是"呢 and what do we say yes to? –
很简单 问自己究竟想要什么 By simply asking what do I really,really,really want to do.
简化 宁缺毋滥 Simplifying- doing less,rather than more.
关键就是找到最适宜的简化程度 The key though is to reach optimum levels of simplicity.
因为过于简化 Because we don't want to simplify too much
就会走向另一个极端 and go to the other extreme.
和其他事物及诸多心理学显现一样 You see,in a way,it works,as many things work,
简化与效率是以曲线形式存在 many psychological phenomenon work,in a curve linear manner.
我来解释一下 Let me explain.
这张图表的X轴代表工作量 So let's say we have a graph where this is amount of work.
Y轴代表效率 创造力与快乐 And on this axis we have productivity,creativity and happiness.
两者的关系是这样的 The way it work,the way it looks,is this way,meaning:
如果工作量太大 if our amount of work is too high,
就会发生TBD 即忙碌紊乱症 that's when we experience the TBD,Too Busy Disorder.
我们会不快乐 缺乏创造力 效率低下 We are unhappy; we are not creative; and we are not productive.
精疲力竭 This is the burn-out.
也许短时间能效率和创造力能维持一段时间 We may be productive and creative for a short while,
但这点代表精疲力竭 but this is the burn-out phase.
另一方面 如果我们什么也不做 那也不好 On the other hand,if we do too little,that's also not good.
后果相似 我们会不快乐 And very similar consequences- we are unhappy;
没有效率 缺乏创新 we are certainly not productive; and we are not creative.
这点代表极端拖延 This is extreme procrastination,
我们马上会讲到 which we will talk about in a minute.
这点代表过度工作 This is over work.
我们要发掘 What we want to find is our optimum-
各自的最适宜点 每个人都不一样 for each person,this is in a different place.
有些人 图的位置可能靠这里 I mean,this graph can be situated here for one person,
有些人可能更靠前 and here for another.
但是每个人都会有个最适宜点 But each person has this optimal level.
这点代表了效率 创造力 And this is where highest level
以及快乐的理想状态 of productivity,creativity and happiness is.
例如气体再少也能充满整个空间 So on the one extreme we have the law of gas
也适用于时间管理方面 essentially applied to time management.
即使我们工作再少 But even if we have very little work,
它会占用我们所有时间 it will take up all of our time.
这样我们变得效率低下 缺乏创造力 不快乐 And then we are not productive,not creative,not happy.
另一方面是...我常常引用JP Morgan的一句话 On the other hand,we have- the quote that I've used time
他可以在9个月能完成一年的工作 and again by J.P.Morgan,that he can do a year's work in 9 months
但不能花12个月 需要休息时间 but not in 12 and the need for time-off.
你的理想值在哪里 这两者间你在哪 Where is your optimal level? Where are you? Between these two.
你得自己摸索 反复试验 You need to find out.It's trial and error.
期间会犯很多错误 没关系 我们就是这样学习的 And it's a lot of error.And that's OK.That's how we learn.
本质上 我们关注的就是可持续增长 Essentially what we are about is sustainable growth.
梭罗说过"要简单 简单 再简单 Henry David Thoreau: "Simplicity,simplicity,simplicity!
依我说 你要做的事应当是两三件 I say let your affairs be as two or three,
而不是成百上千件 and not a hundred or a thousand;
数上半打 而不要数上百万 instead of a million count half a dozen...
在这多变的文明生活的海洋里 In the midst of this chopping sea of civilized life,
云雾 风暴 流沙 such are the clouds and storms and quick sands
和许许多多事情都得考虑 and the thousand-and-one items to be allowed for,
他要成功 就必须是台出色的计算器 and he must be a great calculator indeed who succeeds.
简化 再简化" 这段话写于1840年代 Simplify.Simplify ." This was written around 1840.
那到了21世纪 我们还要如何简化呢 How much more do we need to simplify today,in the 21st century?
我们关注的是可持续增长 And what we are about,again,is sustainable growth.
这一比喻借鉴自环境保护论 I've used this metaphor from environmentalism.
什么是可持续增长? 比如塞内加尔 What's sustainable growth? So when a country like Senegal
想要进行可持续增长 该如何进行? is now talking about sustainable growth,what does it mean?
这不是说他们停止增长 It doesn't mean that it wants to freeze progress.
而是指他们想要增长 但以一种可持续的方式 It means that it wants to grow,however,in a sustainable way,
也就说"对环境的损耗 which means- "let's take out of the environment
要控制在可以人工帮助下自然恢复的范围内" what can be replenished naturally through our help."
与我们所说的心理学概念 The exact same thing we are talking about
完全一致 on the psychological level.
我们提倡的不是 We are not talking about a stress-free life,
无需奋斗 无需努力的 a life when we don't take out of ourselves,
无压生活 when we don't push ourselves,when we don't exert ourselves.
我们提倡的 What we are talking about
可持续增长是指 when we are talking about sustainable growth is that
我们努力奋斗 竭尽全力 给予自己一定压力 we take out of ourselves,we exert,we stress ourselves
然后通过充分的休整得以恢复 and we replenish through recovery just enough
这才是可持续 so that it is sustainable.
因为如果不恢复 那就无法持续 Because if we don't replenish,then it's not sustainable
会出现焦虑 抑郁 疲惫 and then we begin to experience anxiety,depression,burn-out,
等等情绪 and so on.
所以问问自己 我的生活需要简化什么 So ask yourself.Where do I in my life need to simplify?
我的生活还需要做些什么 Where do I in my life need to do more?
也就是说 该如何克服拖延心理 How can I,in other words,overcome procrastination?
回到我们朋友那 Going back to our friend.
因为可能有点太极端了 Because this may be a little bit too extreme.
全国有70% 超过70%的大学生 You know 70 percent,more than 70 percent of college students,
抱怨拖延心理 nationwide complain about procrastination.
不是别人拖延 而是他们自己拖延 Not others' procrastination- their own procrastination.
另外30%矢口否认 The other 30 percent are in denial.No.
超过70% Over 70 percent.
拖延与不快乐 Now procrastination is associated with lower levels of happiness,
生理免疫系统脆弱 weakened physical immune system,
压力过大等等都有关联 可能会导致抑郁 higher levels of stress and could also lead to depression.
虽然关联程度不高 Not a very high correlation,
但是两者呈正相关 but there is a positive correlation between the two.
幸运的是 有许多关于拖延的研究 Fortunately though,there is a lot of research on procrastination
其中一项研究很有帮助 A research that can actually help.
这项研究是由加拿大卡尔顿大学 And the research is done at the University of Carleton in Canada,
拖延心理研究小组进行的 where they have an actual procrastination research group.
我浏览了... And I went,I browsed them...
你可以访问他们的网站 做得很不错 You can go on their website- great website,
还有许多有价值的照片 and there are great pictures there.
其中一组照片 And one of the set of the pictures
是来自他们年度的讨论拖延心理的会议 is from their yearly conference on procrastination,
该会议意义重大 which is remarkable.
这些是会议的照片 So here are some photos from that very important conference.
所有人于第一天抵达 So on the first day they all arrived
进行了聚餐 and they got together for a meal.
聚餐后 他们又吃了一顿 And after they got together for meal,they had another a meal
因为几小时后有人又饿了 because they were hungry a few hours later.
第二天 他们结伴出游 四处走走 And then the following day they just hang out and walked around.
校园风景很美 It was a beautiful place after all.
然后 一起吃了点东西 And afterwards,they had some food together.
然后 一顿接一顿 他们又吃了几顿 And then,you know,food begets food so they ate some more.
到了会议最后一天 And at the end of the conference,
他们觉得完成不少任务 they really felt like they got,they accomplished a lot.
实践了他们倡导的内容 You know they practiced what they preached.
于是拍了一张全家福作为结尾 So they had a photo of all of them together right here.
事实上 他们对拖延 Actually they do fascinating work
进行了精彩的重要的研究 and very important work on procrastination.
以下是部分结果 So here are some of the results,
如何克服拖延 some of the important results for overcoming procrastination.
首先 最重要的一点 很简单 容易实践且有效 First,most important one,simple,easy to implement and it works
他们称之为"5分钟起步" It's what they call "the 5 minute take-off".
他们发现所有拖延者都有一个共同点: One of the things they found with,just about all procrastinator
他们对行动的要求有所误解 is that they have a misunderstanding of what it takes to act.
全世界的拖延者都以为 要有所行动 Procrastinators,the world over,think that in order to act,
必须先受到激励 they first need to be inspired.
我必须感受到共鸣 才能开始编写经济学10号课程的题库 I have to feel the vibes,before I start the EC 10 problem set.
我必须有所灵感 I really have to be inspired
才能下笔写文学艺术论文 before I write this paper for Lit and Arts.
但事实并不是这样 But you know what? That's not how it works.
并不是这样 That's not how it works.
第一步并不是改变态度 It's not about first changing our attitude,i.e.
即受到激励 然后行动 becoming inspired and then acting.
恰恰相反 It usually works the other way around.
要先开始行动 We first need to start acting,behavior,
行动会慢慢地影响我们的态度 that will then affect our attitude.
因为通常行动开始后 我们会有惯性 Because very often once we start,we are on a roll.
或者有时候 Or sometimes,a few times,
在90分钟冲刺中 during let's say the 90 minutes sprint,
我们需要重新5分钟起步 we have to restart the 5 minute.
我不知道你们是否留意到了 I don't know if you,if you've noticed this,but if you haven't,
如果还没有 我想跟大家分享一下 it's something that I really like to share with you.
现在我们应该互相非常了解了 By now,you know we know one another pretty well.
或者你们非常了解我 Or you know me pretty well.
如果你们不知道 我想你们应该知道 So if you don't know this,I think you should know this.
我非常非常热衷积极心理学 I am extremely,extremely passionate about positive psychology.
我喜欢积极心理学 I love positive psychology.
但有时候 我早上起床 But you know,sometimes when I get up in the morning,
写关于积极心理学的文章 and I write something about positive psychology
准备积极心理学讲座 or prepare a lecture on positive psychology
或者阅读积极心理学文章 有时候我完全不在状态 or read positive psychology,sometimes I don't feel like starting
这让我太太大吃一惊 You know,this is actually a very big surprise for my wife.
那时我们刚结婚几年 And it only came up just a couple of years into our marriage,
我告诉她 while I told her,
"是的 有时候我都没心情起床" "yeah,sometimes I really don't feel like getting up."
她说"这怎么可能 She said,"how's that possible?
你早上起床 I mean,you know you get up in the morning
打开电脑 开始工作" and then you go to your computer,and you start to work on it."
是的 没错 因为我了解5分钟起步 Yes,exactly! Because I know the 5 minute take-off.
有时候在90分钟时间段里 And sometimes within a 90 minute session,
我不得不再做一次5分钟起步 I have to do another 5 minute take-off
因为我感到精力不支 because my energy levels are drained.
所以要么花时间休整 So either take time off to recover,
要么我只是有拖延情绪 or if I think that is just procrastination.
我说没事 就5分钟 坚持住就行 I say it's OK.For 5 minutes.Just push.
这5分钟往往会让产生一个向上的螺旋 And very often that 5 minutes start an upward spiral.
不是通过思想 不是通过心灵 Not through the mind.Not through the heart.
而是通过行动 Through action.
5分钟起步可能是克服拖延 The 5 minute take-off- probably the most useful technique
最有用的技巧了 for overcoming procrastination.
换句话说 就是放手去做 Just do it- in other words.
奖励自己 你们都懂得生意是一点一滴累积起来的 Reward yourself.You know businesses are built...
你能想象没有奖励的生意吗 can you imagine a business without a reward?
就像是自动回墨 Well,think about the self ink.
你在从事某业务 想要激励自己 You are in certain business.You want to motivate yourself.
那就奖励自己 So reward yourself.
好了 我要工作3小时 OK,I'm going to do three hours of work now,
然后在食堂吃一顿3小时大餐 and then allow myself a three hour meal
作为奖励 in the dining hall as a reward.
或者我这周五要用功 Or I'm going to really work hard on Friday
这样周六就能出去玩了 so that Saturday I can go out.
没问题 我们做其他事也这样 That's OK.You know,we do it in any other place.
但不行 But no again,
我得受到激励 才能制作出题库 we say no I need to be inspired for this problem set.
也许有时候是 Yes,sometimes.
但有时候我们并没有得到激励 But sometimes we are not that inspired.
奖励当然也很重要 And rewards are certainly legit and important.
公布出去 破釜沉舟 Go public.Throw your knapsack over the wall.
告诉大家你的目标 Tell people what you are going to achieve.
我在1995年就是这么做的 This is exactly what I did in 1995
我第一次决定教授心理学专题讨论会 when I first decided to teach workshops in psychology.
我当时在新加坡工作 I was working in Singapore at that time.
我打电话给我的领导 Hugh Hang先生 I called up my boss,Mr.Hugh Hang.
我告诉他"Hugh 我想开一次专题讨论会 And I said to him,"Hugh,I want to teach workshop.
为时两天的讨论会 一天关于领导力 Or two day workshops- one on leadership,
另一天关于追求卓越与成功" one on the pursuit on excellence and success."
他说"太好了 And he said,"that's great.
这会对员工帮助很大 I think it will really help the employees.
你想什么时候进行?" When do you want to do it by?"
我说"7月1日" 当时是1995年1月 I said,"July 1." This was January of 1995.
他说"好的"挂上了电话 我是打电话说的 And he said,"fine." Put down the phone,I called in...
我当时在这里 是打电话给他的 I was here at the time.I called him up.
我一放下电话 就脱口而出"天啊 And as soon as I put down the phone,I said,"Oh.Shoot.
我干了什么?"我做过最正确的事 What have I just done?" One of the best things that I ever did.
因为我公布了目标 Because I went public with it.
破釜沉舟 I threw my knapsack over the wall.
不得不着手开工 无论我是否喜欢 And I had to start working,whether I liked it or not.
这帮助我克服了拖延 And that helped me overcome procrastination.
因为我知道自己想开设专题讨论会 Because I knew that I wanted to teach at some point.
一旦对外公布 But when I went public with it,
某种意义上 我就被迫去做了 in a sense,it "forced" me to do it.
后来我开设了讨论会 And I gave the workshop.
虽然不是1995年7月最棒的专题讨论会 但我办到了 It wasn't the best workshop in July of 1995,but I did it.
我准备得很努力 团队方法 And I worked extremely hard toward it.The team approach.
比如 坚持训练课程最好的方法之一 The best predictor,for example of maintaining an exercise regime
就是和其他人一起进行 is doing it with other people.
可能不是每个人都适用 Now this is not right of everyone.
有些人 Some people-
喜欢一个人进行训练 exercise is something that they want to do by themselves,
一个人听着随身听 或者独自在家进行 just with their Discman or just by themselves at home.
完全没问题 但是对大多数人来说 And that's OK.However,
与别人一起进行会有所帮助 for most people,doing it with other people actually helps.
书面写下也很有用...等于建立了契约 It also helps to write down- this is a commitment.
把目标写下来 分阶段进行 Write down goals.Divide and conquer.
一一击破 Break down the achievement.
还记得Langer的研究吗 把目标写下来 Remember Langer's research? Write these things down.
列一张表 对多数人来说很有用 Make a list.It actually helps most people.
最后一点 允许自己娱乐消遣 And finally,permission to recreate.
准许自己为人 What that means is give yourself permission to be human;
有时候拖延一下也未尝不可 give yourself permission to procrastinate at times as well;
允许自己休整 give yourself permission to recover.
你不是机器 我们不是机器 You are not a machine; we are not machines.
我们需要了解能力的范畴 We need to understand the constraint of you of nature.
否则就是违背自然 Because if we don't understand it,if we don't respect nature,
自然就会报复我们 nature is not going to respect us,
让我们付出代价 效率降低 and we are going to pay a price,in terms of our productivity,
失去创造力与幸福感 也就是我们终极货币 our creativity as well as our happiness- the ultimate currency.
我给大家放一段视频 I want to show you a quick excerpt
是我最喜欢的Ellen DeGeneres by my favorite,Ellen DeGeneres.
这是一期有关拖延的节目的结尾部分 And this is the end,the end of her show on procrastination,
强烈推荐大家看看 which I highly,highly recommend you.
任意音像店里都能找到 You can find it in any of the video stores around here.
这期节目时长一小时 主题是拖延 So here she is- the end of her show
这是结尾部分 after she's talked about procrastination for over an hour.
唯一的 The one and only.
Ellen DeGeneres《此时此地》 Ellen DeGeneres "Here and Now":
我们想尽一切办法把事情挤在一起做 We are doing all these things to squeeze things together
以节省时间 so we can save time.
我不知道你们怎么样 但我时间不够了 And I don't know about you but I don't have anymore time.
我时间越来越少了 I have less time.
假设我们能省出一堆时间 But let's just say we could save up a whole chunk of time
空闲了出来 and set it aside.
然后拿它干什么呢 You know what we'd do with it?
什么也不做 Nothing.Nothing at all.
什么也不做 意义不正是如此吗 Isn't that the point to be able to do nothing at all?
但以后的一堆时间是无法保证的 But we're not guaranteed that later on chunk of time.
我们能控制的只有此时此地 All we have is HERE AND NOW
所以拖延的感觉才这么好 and that's why procrastination feels so right!
拖延不是问题 Procrastination is not the problem.
是解决方法 是全世界共同的表达 It is the solution.It is the universe's way of saying
"停下 慢点 你太快了 听听音乐 "Stop.Slow down.You move too fast.Listen to the music.
什么 听音乐 Whoa whoa,listen to the music
(杜比兄弟《听音乐》) (lyrics of a song by Doobie Brothers "Listen to the Music")."
我的意思是 如果你今晚离开这时 What im trying to say is if you leave here tonight
不记得我说的任何话 and you don't remember anything else that I've said,
只要记住这句就行:现在就拖延 leave here and remember this: PROCRASTINATE NOW.
别拖延拖延 谢谢" DON'T PUT IT OFF.Thank you."
好了 我教的所有课程中 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:OK.Out of everything that I teach,
这节课这一主题对我来说意义最深远 this lecture this topic is the most personally meaningful to me.
因为从许多方面 我的转变 从完美主义到... Because in many ways,my shift,my journey from perfectionism-
这一转变仍在进行 and it's an on-going journey,
此时此刻正在发生 a journey that goes on right now as we speak-
从完美主义转变成追求卓越 my journey from perfectionism to the pursuit of excellence
这一转变与我的快乐历程 is the most intimately linked
紧密相连 with my journey toward becoming happier.
我想给大家讲讲 So I want to share with you some personal things
我的一些个人经历 that I've been through.
有些已经写在书里了 Some of them are in my book.
我想再扩展一下 不止壁球的故事 But I want to expand this- the story beyond squash.
我11岁开始打壁球 So I started playing squash at the age of 11,
放弃成为篮球明星 which was after giving up an illustrious,
这一前途光明 充满激情的事业 passionate career as a basketball star.
那时 It was about that time
我意识到NBA的梦想 when I realized that NBA was not going to be a...
无法实现了 was not going to happen for me.
我转而开始打壁球 I started playing squash
几乎每天都打 and almost immediately started playing every day.
当时我的生活围绕着壁球转 My days revolved; my life at that time revolved around squash.
每天早上5点起床 出门跑步 I would wake up at 5 am in the morning and go for a run.
回到家 吃早餐 上学 Would come home.Have my food.Go to school.
放学后 我会去打壁球 Right after school- it was next to the squash,
学校就在壁球场附近 距离不远 not far from the squash court,I would go to the squash court,
与教练一起练习 在健身房锻炼 打比赛 play with my coach,work out in the gym,play games.
一直到傍晚 And then,late afternoon,
才回家做作业 然后睡觉 I would go home,do my homework and then go to sleep.
好几年一直如此 For years,this was my pattern.
那段时间很苦 很艰难 尤其是间歇训练 It was difficult.It was tough,especially the interval training-
与教练一起锻炼 work out with my coach.
但是 这些训练强度与我心理上遇到的问题比 However,it was nothing- the toughness was nothing compared
根本不算什么 to the emotional difficulties at the time.
我不断受到压力 I was constantly,constantly with almost no recovery,no reprieve
而且几乎没有休整 I was constantly stressed.
我总觉得胃里有个结 There was always a knot that I felt in my stomach.
感觉很真实 就好像有个球在那里 It was real,as if there was a ball here.
每次训练情况不好 The knot was especially pronounced,
与我给自己设定的标准产生距离时 especially difficult after a poor performance in practice
这个结尤其明显 尤其难受 when it didn't match to the standards that I had for myself.
而距离几乎一直存在 And it was almost never matched.
比赛期间情况尤为严重 The knot was at its severest during tournaments.
经常 我闯入了一场重要比赛的决赛 Very often,I would get to a final of an important tournament
突然发挥失常 输了决赛 and choke and lose the final,
哪怕理论上能赢的比赛都输了 even at times when I was supposed to win- on paper at least.
那个结没有消失 That knot didn't go away.
就算消失 也只是很短的一段时间 When it went away,it was only for very short periods of time.
但我相信它会消失的 But I knew that the knot would go away.
当时有一个信念 一个愿望 And I was sustained by the belief,by the vision,
一个目标一直支撑着我 by my personal mission at the time of winning
要赢得以色列全国锦标赛 the Israeli National Championships.
我对自己说 I said to myself,
"如果我赢了 我就会快乐 就会平静 "if I win this,then I'll be happy; then I'll be calm.
一切付出都是值得的" And it's all going to be worth it."
为什么 因为只有付出 才有收获 Why? Because no pain,no gain.
1986年 我闯入了以色列全国锦标赛决赛 In 1986,I reached the final of Israeli National Championships
但我输了 and I lost.
我身心交瘁 I was devastated.I was devastated,
虽然我是有史以来最年轻的决赛选手 even though I was the youngest player to ever reach the final,
虽然我击败了排名高于我的选手 even though I'd beaten players higher than me on the rankings.
我一蹶不振好几个月 I was devastated for months.
不过最终 我还是挺过来了 只有付出 才有收获 But still,I went on- no pain,no gain.
我继续刻苦训练 And I continued to train and work hard.
1987年 我在决赛中又碰到了同一个对手 这次我赢了 In 1987,I met the same player in the final and this time I won.
我欣喜若狂 从未如此快乐过 I was ecstatic,joyous,happier than I ever remember myself being
那一刻 我对自己说"付出终有回报 And at that moment,I said to myself,"it all paid off.
都是值得的 It was all worth it.
我会变得快乐" Because now I was ready to be happy."
我跟亲朋好友外出庆祝 I went out with my friends and family,and we celebrated.
庆祝会后4小时 我回到家 And about 4 hours later after the celebration,I went back home.
我回到家 睡觉前 I went back home,and wanted to,before going to sleep,
想再回味一下 just for one last time savor,enjoy that feeling of joy,
胜利的喜悦与快乐 of ecstasy,of pure bliss that I earned.
我坐在床上 突然毫无预警地 And I sat down on my bed and I suddenly,without any warning,
完全相同的感觉 完全相同的情感 the exact same feeling,the exact same emotion,
那个结又回来了 the exact same knot returned.
我放声大哭 不是4小时前 And I started to cry- not the same tears of joy
喜极而泣的泪水 而且痛苦无助的泪水 that I cried 4 hours earlier,but tears of pain and helplessness.
那个结又回来了 The knot returned.
我想"也许这是高潮后的失落" And I thought,"well,maybe it's the high follow...
我指望结会再消失 It's the low following high." And I hoped it would go away.
但它没有 But it didn't go away.
几周后 And a few weeks later,
我意识到它究竟是什么 这一次我彻底搞清楚了 I realized what it was and this time I really nailed it.
我明白了 I understood.
我要成为世界冠军才能真正快乐 I would have to be the world champion to really be happy.
高中毕业后 I graduated from high school.
离我入伍服役还有2年空余时间 I had two years before I had to enlist in the military.
我去了英格兰 And I took off to England.
住在伦敦 In England,I lived in London
加入了位于Ealing大道的Stripes壁球俱乐部 and joined Stripes which was the squash club in Ealing Broadway,
当时世界冠军Jansher Khan常常在那训练 where Jansher Khan,world champion at the time used to train.
因为我对自己说"这是我的目标" Because I said,"this is my goal; this is my objective."
我每天都去俱乐部 And I would come in every single day
看Jansher Khan训练 模仿他 and watch Jansher Khan and imitate him.
无论他做什么 我都照做 Whatever he did,I would do.
他每天早上跑7英里 我也每天早上跑7英里 So he ran 7 miles each morning; I would ran 7 miles each morning.
他去壁球场 去健身房锻炼 He would go to the court,work out in the gym;
我都照做 I did exactly what he did.
他与其他选手进行无数场比赛 He played numerous games with other players;
我也与其他选手进行无数场比赛 I would play numerous games with other players.
他有训练搭档 And he had training partners.
当时我水平还不够成为他的训练搭档 And I wasn't good enough at that time to be his training partner,
所以只是偶尔去一次 so I would just hang out there and once in a while,
有时候 只有我们两人时 他会说 once in a while when there was no one around,he would say,
"来吧 Tal 我们对打看看" 于是我们会打一会儿 "come,Tal,let's play a little bit." And we would play.
每次与他比赛后 我都会从头再来 And I went back to the drawing board after each game with him.
更努力的打球 更努力的练习 And I would play harder and train harder.
因为要像他那样 Just what he did- because to be like him,
成为世界冠军 我就必须像他一样训练 to be the world champion,I would have to train like him.
我训练越来越刻苦 表现也越来越好 And I trained harder and harder.And I got better and better.
六个月后 And after about six months,
我的水平能够成为他的训练搭档了 I became good enough to be one of his training partners.
一年后 我成为了他的常规搭档 And after a year,I became his regular training partner.
我跟着他去了世界各地 I would travel with him around the world.
只要他有比赛 我们都会进行训练 Wherever he would play tournaments,we would train before.
但是 伤痛开始出现 为什么 However,injuries began to creep in.Why?
因为Jansher从三岁就开始锻炼 Because Jansher had built up from,literally the age of three,
他的耐力体格 都是日积月累锻炼出来的 he built up his stamina,his fitness;
而我 要么全有要么全无 and for me,it was all or nothing.
要么进行业余训练 要么完全不训练 Either I trained like an amateur or don't train at all,
要么像世界冠军一样训练 or I trained like the world champion.
我的身体无法承受 开始出现伤痛 And my body couldn't handle it.And I started injuries.
一开始 只是踝关节小伤 所以我休息了两天 Initially,mild injuries- ankle.So I took two days off.
如果膝盖有伤 Or my knee started hurting a little bit-
那就休息三四天 you know,three,four days off.
恢复训练以后会有一点不舒服 不过不严重 Back was a bit uncomfortable.Nothing serious.
我会继续训练 要么全有要么全无 I would go back to training.All or nothing.
要么不训练 要么像世界冠军一样训练 Either I don't train at all or I train like the world champion.
因为我想成为他那样 Cause I want to be like him.
就这样坚持了4年 伤痛时有出现 And I continue doing that for 4 years.Injuries on and off.
越来越严重 直到我20 21岁时 Getting more and more severe,until the age of 20.21-
医生告诉我"你面临一个选择 the doctor told me,"you have a choice.
你可以继续训练 打职业壁球赛 You can continue training and playing professional squash,
但你的背部会非常危险 but then you are risking your back
可能很快就需要动手术 and you probably need to be operated on very soon.
要么就放弃职业壁球" Or you can give up professional squash."
怀着沉重的心情 我放弃了职业壁球 with an extremely heavy heart,I gave up professional squash.
放弃了我的梦想 申请入学 来到了这里 I gave up my dream,applied to college,and came here.
同样的模式又发生了 Here,the exact same pattern continued-
只不过以前是壁球 only before it was squash;
现在学术成了我生活的中心 now it was academics that became the central part of my life.
开学才一周 那个结又回来了 The knot returned,very shortly after freshman week.
因为每一篇论文我都力求完美 Because every paper had to be perfect.
书上每一个词都要阅读并总结 Every word had to be read and summarized.
每一次作业都要毫无偏差地完成 Every assignment had to be executed immaculately.
要么全有 要么全无 我不快乐 All or nothing.And I was unhappy.
在我大二时的某一天 And it was on one day during my sophomore year.
当时我23岁 我对自己说 I was a 23 year old sophomore,where I said to myself,
"够了 我身在名校 "enough.Enough.Here I am,in such a wonderful place,
有这么多出色的同学 优秀的导师 with such wonderful students,such wonderful teachers.
应该感到荣幸 但我一点也不快乐" Such a privilege.And I am so unhappy.
我觉得这不是外部问题 I don't think it is something that is external.
我必须更好地了解自己 I must understand myself better.
于是 And it was at that point that
我转而研究哲学与心理学 I decided to switch my concentration to philosophy and psychology
希望了解快乐生活的意义 wanting to understand the meaning of a happy life,
了解如何才能更快乐 wanting to understand how I could become happier
为什么我不快乐 and why I was not.
很快我意识到 And it was very quickly that I realized,
我发现自己从事... that I understood that I was engaged,
或者说遭受到某种普遍 or suffering from something that is so common,
且错误的观念折磨 so pervasive and so misunderstood.
完美主义 Perfectionism.
这就是今天 This is what I want to talk about today,
及下节课的主题 and what I want to talk about in the next lecture.
完美主义的概念 This notion of perfectionism
以及对完美主义的研究 and what the research has to say about it.
人无完人 Now there is no perfectionist,
没有人会处于糟糕的极端 there is no one person who is on this extreme,
也没有人会处于卓越的极端 nor there is a person who's on the excellence extreme
这点我等会儿会细讲 which I will depict later.
关键是 如何变得更快乐 The key is how do I become happier
随着我渐渐脱离完美主义 我变得更快乐了 and I become happier by being less and less perfectionistic.
完美主义并不是说要放弃志向 Perfectionism is not about giving up ambition.
我有志向 I'm as ambitious,
甚至可能比16或23岁时志向更远大 or possibly more ambitious than I was at age of 16 or 23.
而是说对人生历程 It's about having a different approach
对走出的每一步 尤其是对失败 toward the journey of our life,
采取一种不同的方法与态度 toward each step of the way- specifically,toward failure.
所以我要谈的第一点 So what I'm going to talk about is first of all,
先定义以便理解 define it so that we understand it.
因为它常常被误解 Because it is misunderstood.
我会谈谈完美主义的特征 I'm going to talk about characteristics.
我们下节课才会讲 We are going to get to that next time only.
特征...成为完美主义者代表了什么? The characteristics- what it means to be a perfectionist?
然后我还会讲讲后果 Then I'm going to talk about the consequences.
以及如何保持成功与快乐的平衡 And then,how it's possible to be both successful and happy.
我们在目标设定课上问的问题 Again,the question we ask in goal setting lecture,
这一问题我们在课堂上会经常重复 the question that essentially we are asking throughout the class-
不是为了放弃成功 it's not about giving up success;
放弃日常生活中的金钱 it's not about giving up the conventional currency.But
而是更好地享受我们的幸福 it's about also enjoying the ultimate currency more importantly.
因为它是终极货币 Because it is the ultimate currency.
然后我们理解完美主义的源头是什么 Then we understand what is the source of perfection;
它来自哪里 where does it come.
因为如果我们了解了它是如何产生的 Because if we understand where it comes from,
才更有可能克服它 we are more likely to be able to overcome it.
然后 最重要的是 如何克服 And then,most importantly,how do we overcome it?
如何帮助别人克服完美主义 And how do we help other people overcome perfectionism?
不是让他们放弃志向 或者停止努力工作 And again,not giving up their ambition,not giving up hard work,
也不是消除失败时的痛苦 这是不可避免的 not giving up pain of failure- because that's inevitable.
而是获得一种更理性 更有益 But simply have a more rational,a more helpful,
更可控的处理失败的方法 a more empowering approach toward failure.
好了 我们开始前 我需要一名志愿者 OK.So let's get to work.I need a volunteer.
你们举手前 注意我的要求 I need a volunteer,but before you put your hand up,
我要一个很特别的志愿者 it's a very special kind of volunteer.
我需要一个很棒的艺术家 I need a volunteer who is a very good artist,
绘画非常出色 a volunteer who can draw really well.
不要有压力 好吗 要一个画画很棒 No pressure here,right? A volunteer who can draw really well
且愿意上来展示的志愿者 and who will actually come here and demonstrate.
要上台来需要一定勇气 Now remember it takes courage to come up to the stage
有勇气并不代表不害怕 but courage is not about not having fear;
而是害怕但仍勇往直前 it's about having fear and going ahead anyway.
有人自愿吗 有一个志愿者 So do I have a volunteer? I have a volunteer.
你上来好吗 Won't you come up? (Applause)
你好 怎么称呼 Vincent OK.Hi.What's your name? Vincent.
你是VS专业的吗 Are you a VS concentrator? (Inaudible)
别告诉我你是学经济的 好的 Don't tell me you are an economics.OK.
那你是什么专业的?生物 很好 What are you? Biology.OK.Good.(Laugh) All right.
生物学也要画许多图表 So biology- you have to draw many diagrams.
所以我... That's why I was...
经济学也得画图标吧 Well in Ec you also have to draw diagrams I guess.
所以也没关系 So it would've been fine,too.
好了 准备好了吗 All right.Are you ready for this?
最后一次机会让你回到位子上 You still have the opportunity to going sit down.
你确定要... You are sure you want to...
- 但我想战胜恐惧 - 好的 很好 (Vincent: But I want to conquer my fear.) All right! Yes,good.
好了 准备好了吗 Vincent?你确定 好 All right.Are you ready for this,Vincent? You sure? All right.
以下是我要你做的 Here's what I want you to do now.
我不知道是不是真的想这样对你 I don't know if I want to do this to you though,you know.
但是我也只能这样了 All right,but I am going to do it to you anyway.
请在黑板的这边画... I want you to draw here on this part of the board.
请画... I want you to draw...
准备好了吗 你确定?好的 Are you ready for this? You sure? OK.
请画一个圆 I want you to draw a circle.
慢慢来 不急 Take your time.Take your time.No hurry.
可以擦了重画 You can also erase and put back.
拿出你的看家本事 But I want to you draw- give your best shot here-
画一个圆 I want you to draw a circle.
我们还有半小时时间 不急 We have half an hour.No hurry.
我们边冥想边等你 The meantime we'll meditate.(Laugh) Yeah.
我不是真的说半小时 I didn't mean it literally half an hour,
不过...好的 就当是练习时间 but...OK.(Laugh) Use it as a time-in.That's all.
一个圆 Vincent 画得漂亮 A circle! Vincent,well done! Ooh hoo! (Applause)
还没完呢 You are not done yet.
等等 Hey hey! Woah woah woah woah.
先别急着走 Don't run away on me now.
好的 我在这画一条线 OK.So I'm putting a line here.
这边要画其他东西 What I'd like you to do here is draw something else.
准备好了吗 请画另一个圆 So you are ready for it? I would like you to draw another circle,
不过这次画的时候 but this time as you drew it,
当作你三岁时候画的样子 as you think you drew it when you were 3 years old.
3岁 慢慢来 3 years old.Again,take your time.
想象一下 Metaphorically speaking,
你三岁时候 take your time and draw a circle as you think you drew it
画的圆是什么样子的 when you were 3 years old.
好的 All right.Yeah.
于是你父母说"梵高重现人间" And that's when his parents said,"Van Gogh was reborn."
能画一个你三岁时候画的圆吗 Can you draw it as you drew it when you were 3 years old,please?
我知道在座各位才华横溢 (Laugh) I know there are many talented people here,
但我们想要些真实...很好 but we want some real...OK.All right.
不过还是一位三岁神童 好的 Still,very talented 3 years old.OK.All right.
很好 现在请再帮我一个忙 Good! Good! (Laugh) Now I want you to do one more thing.
再画一个圆 I want you to draw here another circle,this time as you drew,
这次画的时候 or you think you drew,
把你当成一岁的孩子 or you tried to draw when you were 1 year old.OK.
一岁神童啊 不过是一岁孩子了 Still a very talented 1 year old,but a 1 year old nevertheless.
很好 现在Vincent 我... Good.All right.Now Vincent,I...
当老师有一件是我不喜欢做 The one thing that I really don't like doing teaching-
我喜欢教书 I love to teach,
但有一件事我不喜欢 就是打分 but the one thing that I really don't like doing- is grading.
我讨厌打分 I hate grading.
但作为老师 不得不做 But you know,as a teacher,you have to do it.
必须打分 You have to do it.
所以我要给你的画打分了 So I'm going to have to grade you.
- 抱歉 - 没关系 I'm sorry.(Vincent: It's OK.) I'm sorry.
我看着这样东西 我看到的是 I look at this entity,and what I see is,
我看到的是 真的是一个圆 what I see is,is a circle actually!
如果我在中间画一条线 You know if I put a line in the middle,
差不多都是等距的 you know more or less that equidistance from that point,
如果我在这儿画一个点...真的很不错 if I put a point here- it's actually very good!
非常好 Vincent 画得好 我真为你骄傲 Very good,Vincent!Well done! I'm proud of you.
干得好 你及格了 没错 Well done! You passed.Yes,exactly! (Applause)
但是我往这看 But you know,I can't help but looking beyond,and I get here.
我想找个合适的词来形容 And you know,I am trying to find the right word here
哪个词?"灾难"也许? and what would the right word be? Disaster,maybe?
Vincent 拜托 这不是圆 I mean,Vincent,please! This is not a circle.
还有这个?抱歉 抱歉 And this? I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I told...
我说了 老师不好当 It's tough being a teacher.You know it's...
不过我想问你个问题 Vincent But I have a question for you,Vincent.
非常重要的问题 I have an important question for you.
如果没有经过成千上万给失败的圆 Could you have gotten to drawing a real circle
你能画出这个真正的圆吗 without having drawn hundreds and thousands of failed circles?
换句话说 没有这两步 你能达到这步吗 In other words,could you have gotten here without being here?
当然不能 成功没有捷径 Absolutely not.There is no other way to succeed.
非常感谢 Vincent Thank you very much,Vincent.(Applause)
学会失败 从失败中学习 这是唯一的途径 Learn to fail or fail to learn- there is no other way.
我是一名心理学家 你们知道心理学家干什么吗 You know I'm a psychologist and you know what a psychologist do?
心理学家观察人 Psychologists watch people.
你们每次进教室我都会观察 And I watch you every time you come to class.
非常仔细地观察 And I watch you very very closely.
知道我看到了什么吗 And you know what I see?
这需要极高的洞察力 经验及智慧 Again,this takes a lot of insight,experience,wisdom,
知道每次你们进教室 我看到了什么吗 but you know what I see every time when you come into the class?
我看到你们所有人走路非常优雅 That you all are very good walkers.
了不起 Terrific.
你们走进教室 You know in fact what you do is you come in
抬起左腿 and you lift you left leg and then you just,
踝关节微微往上 然后优雅地 your ankle slightly is moved up and very gracefully-
慢慢放下 抬起后脚的脚跟 as you put it down,you lift your back heel.
走得非常优美 非常优雅 You did it so beautifully.So elegantly.
还装作没有注意到 And you know what? You pretend as you are not even noticing it.
一边走一边与朋友交谈 So the same time,you are talking to a friend.
有些人还同时嚼口香糖 Some of you are even chewing gum at the same time,
连爱因斯坦都办不到 just more than Einstein could do.
然后你们又抬起后腿 如此优雅 And then you lift up your back leg and again,so gracefully,
稍稍弯曲膝盖 这一动作 just you know,you bend your knee slightly.This action.
同时挥动手臂 太美了 And you move your arm at the same time.It's a beauty.
然后微微扭动臀部 And then you just swing your hips slightly.
像这样 You know just this action.
你们有没有考虑过转行当模特? Have you considered a career of modeling?
我是说真的 漂亮 然后继续走 I mean really! Nice! And you put here.
边走边说话 微笑 Then you are talking.You are smiling.
假装这一系列动作都是信手拈来 And you pretend as if there's no effort involved.
漂亮 你们值得表扬 Well done! Yes! You deserve it! Absolutely!
但是问题来了 如果没有成千上万次的摔倒 But here is the question: could you have gotten to this stage,
你们能走到这里 to being such good walkers
走得如此优雅吗 without having fallen hundreds and thousands of times?
连Vincent都不行 Not even Vincent could have reached that stage without it.
这是不可能的 学会失败 从失败中学习 It's not possible.Learn to fail or fail to learn.
我们小时候都知道 And as kids,we know it.
小时候 And you know,
我们摔倒了 疼的话可能会哭鼻子 we fall down and maybe we cry a little bit if it hurts,
但是马上又站起来了 but we get up again.
摔倒了 还会笑 We fall down.And we laugh.
来看个例子 有人在学走路 In fact,let's see an example.Someone is learning how to walk.
[视频] [Video]
去妈妈那 Man: Go get mommy.
去她那儿 去找妈妈 Go get her.Go get mommy.
太棒了 Woman: Good job! Good job!
Sophie Man: Hey Sophie!
能走回爸爸那儿吗 哎呀 Woman: Can you walk back to daddy? Oops.
把手给我 Give me your hand.
慢点 慢慢来 Man: Slow down.Slow down.
好紧张 Woman: (Laugh) Yay! So hyper.
去妈妈那儿 找妈妈去 Man: Go get mommy.Go get mommy.
找妈妈去 找妈妈去 Go get mommy.Go get her.
慢慢来 宝贝 慢慢来 好姑娘 Man: Take your time,baby! Take your time,baby girl!
慢点 Mommy: Slow down.
会走路了 激动吗 Are you excited that you can walk?
学习的喜悦 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:The joy of learning.The joy of...
这种喜悦上哪儿去了 去哪儿了 Where is it? Where is it? Where does it go?
它消失了 因为我们到了一定年纪 Well it goes away because we come to a certain age
开始意识到别人在看我们 when we begin to understand other people are watching us,
开始产生种种想法 and then the image kicks in.
"我不要试 万一摔倒怎么办" "I'm not going to try,because what if I fall?"
或者"我不要约她出去 万一她拒绝怎么办" Or "I'm not going to ask her out,because what if she says no?"
"哦 不不 我不要演这出戏 "Oh no no no.I'm not going to try for this play,
万一没人看懂怎么办" because hardly anyone gets that."
"哦 我不要分享经历 "Oh I'm not going to share,
万一有人不喜欢怎么办" because what if they don't like what I have to say."
又或者"大家都这么聪明 我还不献丑了" Or "everyone is so smart.I'm not going to speak up."
我们开始逃避而不是应对 And we avoid instead of coping.
这会影响我们的自尊 信心 乐观精神 And that affects our self esteem,our confidence,our resilience,
长期的快乐指数 our happiness levels in the long term.
约会时一切必须很完美 Or we go on a date.And everything has to be so perfect.
非常完美 So perfect.
忘了我们第一次学吃饭是什么样子 Forgetting how we learn how to eat in the first place.
学习失败 从失败中学习 Learn to fail or fail to learn.
这不是第一次约会的实在建议 This is not actually concrete recommendation for your first date.
恐怕行不通 I don't think it will work.
但记得我们是如何学习的 But remember,remember how we learnt.
别无他法 成长没有捷径 学习也没有捷径 There is no other way.No other way to grow.No other way to learn.
乐观 快乐 成功更没有捷径 No other way to become more resilient,happier,more successful.
我以前说过这个吗 这是我的私人祷文 Have I said this before? This is my personal mantra
我常常一遍又一遍对自己诵读 that I repeat to myself over and over again,
尤其是遇到失败 especially after failures,especially before doing things
或者需要克服恐惧 when I'm afraid to do it,when I said
出现"也许我不该做"这类想法时 "well,maybe I shouldn't do."
因为万一...万一什么? Because what happens if...? Well,what happens if?
万一最坏的情况发生了会怎么样:我学到了 what happens if is the worst case scenario: I learn.
最坏的情况 很伤心 Worst case scenario: it hurts.
但我会复原 But I'll bounce back up again.
Rina事件后我也恢复了 You know I bounced back after Rina.
我能应付任何事 I can handle anything.
汉字"危机" "Wei Ji",the Chinese character for crisis,
由两部分组成:第一部分指危险 has two parts: the first part is danger-
是上面那个字 this is the top character;
下面那个字代表机遇 the bottom character,opportunity.
有失败的危险 There is danger of failing.
但有危险的地方 And wherever there is a crisis,
就能学习 成长 ,to learn and grow.
Elbert Hubbard说过"一个人能犯的最大错误 Elbert Hubbard: "The greatest mistake a man can make
就是害怕犯错" is to be afraid of making one."
我想给大家举个例子 有一个人犯过错 I want to show you an example of a person who had made mistakes,
失败了一次又一次 who failed time and time and again.
我甚至想给他授予 In fact,I was thinking of labeling that person
失败大王称号 or giving him the position of ultimate failure.
原因如下 And here is why.
22岁时 刚找到新工作 就失业了 At the age of 22,already- just started a new job,lost it.
不是辞职 是失业 Didn't leave- he lost it.
23岁时 他决定投身政治 At the age of 23,decided to go into politics
因为其他工作他都不在行 because he wasn't doing well in other jobs.
但是也没有成功 But didn't make it there either.
于是继续回去经商 又没有成功 And then he went back to business,didn't make it there.
27岁时 压力太大 At the age of 27,it was just too much for him.
他崩溃了 Just too much- and he collapsed.
精神崩溃 Had a nervous breakdown.
但又重新站起来了 But then got up again after falling.
7年后 他34岁时 And at the age of 34,7 years after his nervous breakdown,
竞选国会议员 名落孙山 he ran for congress- wasn't even close.
没有成功 Didn't make it.
39岁时 他还没有学乖 At the age of 39,hasn't learned the lesson yet.
又一次竞选议员失败 And he was defeated again for congress.
他说"让我试试更高层的" And then he said,"let me go try higher."
46岁时 真失败啊 还没学乖 At the age of 46,what a loser! Doesn't learn,does he? OK.
没关系 学会失败 从失败中学习 Yeah.It's OK.Learn to fail.Fail to learn.
你都46岁了 适可而止吧 But I mean you are 46 years old,c'mon! Give it up already.
到了47岁 他试图竞选副总统 At the age of 47,he tried to be nominated for the Vice President
还没学乖 又失败了 Didn't learn.Didn't make it.
到了50岁 他试图竞选参议员 So at the age of 50,he tried again for Senate.
他几乎想放弃了 但最终没有 And then he almost gave up.But he didn't.
到了51岁 And at the age of 51,
他成了美国第16任总统 he became the 16th President of the United States.
大概是这个国家历史上最有影响力总统 Arguably the most important President this country has ever had.
他谈起这段经历时说 And through it all and he talks about it,
"失败让人痛苦"当然 他的确有成功过 "it was difficult to fail."Of course he had victories.
我简化了他的生平 失败让人痛苦 You know I simplified the process.It was difficult to fail.
他不享受失败 但还是挺过来了 He did not enjoy failing.But he persisted it.
因为和历史上其他成功者一样 Because he understood just like every other successful person
他懂得 throughout history has understood and understands:
学习别无他法 成长别无他法 there is no other way to learn; there is no way to grow.
甘地 他自传的副标题是 Mohandas Gandhi,the subtitle of his book is
"我的对于真理的实践经历" "My Experiments with Truth".
他谈到了经历 尝试与失败 He talks about experiments,trying and failing,
尝试 失败与成功 trying and failing and succeeding,
再次失败 再次尝试 and failing again,and trying again.
你们可能听说过他在南非的故事 Those of you who know his story in South Africa-
他在南非进行的事业与之后在印度的非常相似 he tried exactly or very similar to what he later tried in India.
在南非 他经历了惨痛的失败 In South Africa,he failed miserably.
但到了印度重新尝试 But then he moved over to India and tried there.
经过无数次的失败 And there after many failures,
成功把祖国领向了独立 he succeeded in bringing independence to his country.
他比其他人更懂得失败的重要性 More than anyone understands the importance of failure.
不涵盖自由犯错的自由 "Freedom is not worth having
是不值得拥有的 if it does not connote freedom to err."
他指的自由犯错 And when he talks about "freedom to err",
是指国家层面上的 he means it on the national level:
人民能自主自由 being self-determined,free people.
同时也是个人层面上的 He also means it on the individual level.
我最喜欢的作者乔治艾略特 My favorite author,my favorite writer is George Eliot.
她原名玛丽安娜艾凡斯 后来改为乔治艾略特 Her name was Mary Anne Evans,changed to George Eliot,
因为在当时 because at the time,when she published,
19世纪中晚期 mid 19th to late 19th century,
妇女很难出版 it was very difficult for a woman to be published.
乔治艾略特说过 George Eliot had this to say:
"推动世界前进的重任 "The important work of moving the world forward
并不是由完人来进行的"或完美女子 does not wait to be done by perfect men."
读她的文字你会发现 Or women.If you read her texts,
是我读过的最接近完美的 it is the closest to perfection as I've ever encountered,
无论是《米德尔马契》还是《丹尼尔 德龙达》 whether it's Middle March or Daniel Deronda,
是我最喜欢的书 which is my favorite book.
放手去做 放手行动 准备失败 Just do it.Just act.Be prepared to fail.
我给大家举个例子 I want to show you an example.
录像的这位主角懂得自己的不完美 Once again,a video of a person who understands his imperfections
允许自己失败 and yet gives himself the permission to fail.
一位电视主持人 Here he is.A TV presenter.
[周六夜现场] [Saturday Night Live]
没错 Bennett Brauer:That's right.
Bennett Brauer又有话要说了 Bennett Brauer here with another commentary.
没想到管事的还能让我回来 Didn't think the suits would have me back perhaps.
还以为他们会把我的节目 Thought they'd have my dairy-air replaced
换成某个曲奇店模型 by one of cookie store mannequin.
也许我是不"正常" Well maybe I'm not "the norm".
我不"上镜" 衣着"不合身" I'm not "camera friendly",I don't "wear clothes that fit me",
不够"催泪" 从没和"女人上过床" I'm not a "heartbreaker",I haven't had "sex with a woman",
不知道"怎么勾搭女人" I don't know "how that works",
看来我不"符合要求" 我不讲"卫生" I guess I don't "fall in line",I'm not "hygienic".
我上厕所"屁股不擦干净" 不够"有型" I don't "wipe properly",I lack "style",
没有"魅力"没有"自尊" I have no "charisma" or "self-esteem",
没有"自己的牙刷" "喜欢抠血痂" I don't "own a toothbrush",or "let my scabs heal",
我"够不到身体的各个部位" I can't "reach all the parts of my body",
睡觉时汗如雨下 when I sleep I sweat profusely.
不过我想"掌权的" But I guess the "powers that be"
会继续给我发薪水 will keep signing my pay check at least until Jack and Jane K.
观众开始起身拿遥控器 Viewer start to go for the remote
调回新闻评论 so they can get back to commentators
他们不会"吓坏孩子" who don't "frighten children",
不会"吃自己的头皮屑" who don't "eat their own dandruff",
不会"用高中用的指南针 who don't "pop their whiteheads with a compass
抠粉刺" they used in high school".
谢谢 Kevin Thank you,Kevin.
女士们先生们 感谢Bennet Brauer Kevin Nealon: Bennet Brauer,ladies and gentlemen.
谢谢 Bennett Brauer: Thank you.
运动员Bay Brooth Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:In sports,Bay Brooth,at the time,
曾保持本垒打次数最多的纪录 the most home runs out of the any other player.
记录保持了多年 Held the record for many years.
有多少人知道他还有另一项记录 How many people know that he also topped the league 5 years.
5年来 他也是三振出局第一 5 years he topped the league in strikeouts.
这种情况很常见 Very often the case.Very often the case.
最成功的运动员竟然也是 That the most successful athletes are also ones
失败最多的运动员 who have failed the most.
一旦你准备击球 And if you reach for the stance,
得做好失败的准备 you have to be prepared to fail many times.
又或者是他们当中最伟大的 Or the greatest of them all.
在乔丹学会飞翔之前 (Michael Jordan) Before he learned how to fly,
他先学会了走路 he learned how to walk.
他学会走路之前 先学会了如何爬行 Before he learned how to walk,he learned how to crawl.
他也失败过许多次 And he failed many times.
来听听他是怎么说的 唯一的迈克尔乔丹 Here he is in his own words,the one and only,Michael Jordan.
我的职业生涯投篮失误超过9000次 Michael Jordan:I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
输了大约300场比赛 I've lost almost 300 games.
有26次 26 times,
我被委以重任投制胜一球 但失手了 I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
我这一生一次又一次失败 I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
所以我能获得成功 And that is why I succeed.
乔丹 我喜欢乔丹 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:Ha.Michael.(Laugh) I love Michael Jordan.
人们记得让他声名大噪的制胜一球 People remember his game winning shot that made him famous.
那是在北卡罗来纳州 他最后一投压哨获胜 Was at North Carolina while he shot with the buzzer and they won.
但你们是否记得他有20次 Do you remember that he had 20,
你们是否知道他有26次压哨失手 or did you know that he had 26 game winning shots that he missed?
他失败了一次又一次 最终获得胜利 Well he failed time and time and again,which is why he succeeds.
成功别无他法 There is no other way.
爱迪生说过"我从失败中走向成功" Thomas Edison.Remember "I failed my way to success"?
他失败了一万多次 才最终发明了电灯泡 Ten thousand times failures before he invented the light bulb.
但他没有把它们简单地视为失败 But he didn't see them as failures.
而是成功展示了哪些方法是不可行的 He succeeded in showing what doesn't work.
美体小铺的创始人Anita Roddick 去年刚过世 Anita Roddick,founder of the Body Shop,passed away last year.
取得了伟大的成就 Did fantastic work.
从诸多方面改变了商业世界 Changed business world in many ways,
参与了多项慈善事业 to make more compassionate businesses.
也是失败了许多次后才成功的 Failed time and time and again,and succeeded.
没有其他方法 No other way.
河对岸哈佛商学院教授 Harvard Business School.
她是心理学系的硕士研究生 She was a graduate student here in the psychology department
当时我还在读本科 when I was an undergraduate.
我还记得当时她在写学位论文 And I remember when she was working on her dissertation,
我们的导师是同一个人 我和... cause we had the same advisor.I was working...
我俩的导师都是Richard Hackman We were both working with Richard Hackman.
她当时的研究是有关医院的 目前的研究也与医院有关 And her work was,still is to some extent,in hospitals.
她想研究如何才能消除 And what she wanted to understand was how can you help eliminate
或至少降低医院的失败率 为什么? or at least reduce failure rates in hospitals.Why?
因为医疗事故一年会损失几百万乃是几十亿美元 Because medical errors cost millions and billions dollars a year.
更重要的是 And much more importantly,
许多人因为医疗事故而丧失 many people lose their lives as a result of medical errors.
所以她想研究这一现象 So she wanted to understand this phenomenon
并寻找解决之道 and how you can reduce it.
她的导师是Richard Hackman And she was working with Richard Hackman
他当时已对有效群组研究了数十年 who's been doing work for decades on effective groups.
参加过心理学501号课程的同学应该认识他 Those of you who have taken his class,psychology 501,know him.
如果还没有参加过 不妨列为第一选择 If you haven't taken his class,put it on the top of your list.
他对团队和小组进行了多年研究 And he's done work on teams,on groups for many years.
他发现在某些条件下 And what he found was there are certain conditions that
如果人们置身于某个组织 if they are put into place in an organzation,
更有可能表现优异 the group is more likely to perform well.
某些条件 Certain conditions.
所以Amy Edmondson的论文想要证明 And what Amy Edmondson wanted to do in her dissertation was show
如果医院采取Richard Hackman的建议 that when hospitals implement Richard Hackman's advice,
使用Richard Hackman所说的条件 when they have the conditions that Richard Hackman talks about,
比如给予团队明确可行的目标 such as a clear,engaging goal for the team,for the group,
建立有效的团队结构 such as an enabling team structure,
及时的组织支援 高效的训练 such as supportive organization,such as effective coaching.
当一个团队具备了这些条件 When a group has these conditions in place,
就会表现得更出色 it will not only perform better,
这也是Hackman十几年来的研究结果 which is the research that Hackman illustrates for decades,
而且会减少医疗事故 they will also commit less medical errors.
这是项非常重要的研究 于是她着手研究了 Very important research.So she did this research.
花费了很长时间 It took her very long time.
进行实地调查 在医院研究 She went to the field,studied at hospitals.
经过很长一段时间 And after a long time-
在William James大楼15楼 again this was on the 15th floor in William James Hall,
我还记得她得到结果的那天 I remember that- she one day got her results.
把数据输入了统计软件 按下了确认 Entered all her data into SPSS,pressed the button.
两组统计数据 And there was significant statistical difference
有明显差异 between the two groups.
使用Hackman条件的小组 The group that implemented Hackman's conditions
以及不使用Hackman条件的小组 and the group that did not.
找到了 她欣喜若狂 几年的工作成果 Eureka! She was happy,ecstatic.Years of work.
她跑去了Richard的办公室 对他说 And she runs to Richard's office,and says to him,
"Richard 我得到结果了 在这里" "Richard,I got it! Here are the results."
他说"让我看看" 他看了一眼 He says,"let's see.I want to see." So he looks at it.
说"Amy 太惊人了 结果令人惊讶 He says,"Amy,that's fantastic! It's very significant result.
这不仅仅是模凌两可的边界了 太棒了" It wasn't just borderline.This is great! Fantastic!"
他仔细阅读起来 And he looks at it,and he says,
"你确定是这个结果?" "are you sure these are the results?"
她说"是啊 结果意义重大" And she said,"yeah! They are highly significant!"
他又问"你确定? He said,"are you sure?
有没有重新输入数据再测试一遍?" Did you enter the data again and test it?"
"有啊"她工作非常有条理 非常努力 "Yeah,Yeah!" She is very methodical,very hard working.
她说"都核对过了" She said,"yeah,I did!"
于是他说"结果的确意义重大 So he said,"you know,these are certainly significant
但事实却恰恰相反" but they are significant in the opposite direction."
也就是说使用Hackman条件的医院 Meaning the hospitals that implemented these conditions that
反而出了更多医疗事故 Hackman talks about were actually making more medical errors.
这简直给几十年的研究一个大大的耳光 Again this ? the phase of decades of research.
不仅是针对医疗事故 Never specifically about medical errors,
其他很多方面也是如此 but so many other related topics.
于是他说"结果就是结果 现实就是现实 And he said,"well,a result is a result.Reality is reality.
我们得回到现场 分析原因 We have to go back to the field and understand why.
理解这一现象 We have to understand this phenomenon."
于是她从头开始 精疲力竭 衰弱无力 So she had to go back to the drawing board- tired,enervated,
不理解怎么会这样 又回到了医院 didn't understand what happened,went back to the hospitals,
很快就发现了问题出在哪儿 and in almost no time,realized what the issue was.
这些事故更多的医院 或医院小组 These hospitals,or groups within these hospitals
其实并没有发生更多医疗事故 that made more mistakes did not actually make more mistakes.
而是报告了更多的事故 They reported more mistakes.
事实上 其他小组虽然表面上事故少了 In fact,the other groups,who on paper made less mistakes,
其实发生了更多的医疗事故 actually made many more mistakes.
但他们没有汇报 However,they did not report them.
她是怎么发现的呢 Now how did she know it?
因为有些事故是无法掩盖的 Because there are certain mistakes that you cannot hide.
比如 很难掩盖一具尸体 It is very difficult to hide a corpse,for example.
所以这些大事故发生时 So the mistake,the real major mistakes that were made,
这些小组不得不汇报 they were out,and these groups had to report these.
并不是他们事故减少了 It' not that they made less;
而是增多了 只不过没有汇报 they made more mistake but they didn't report.
于是她改变了研究的重心 And then she changed the focus of her research
转向心理安全概念 to the notion of psychological safety.
心理安全是一种感觉 经历 空间 Psychological safety is the feeling,the experience,
让你觉得可以在办公地点 在组织内 the space that you feel in your workplace,in your organization
安全地讨论错误与过失 where you are safe talking about errors and mistakes,
让你觉得摔倒了也能安全地站起来 where you feel safe falling down and getting up again.
有心理安全的组织 And these organizations with their own psychological safety,
会表现地更好 they performed better.
当时是1999年 她与全世界各国研究人员 And again,this was in 1999,a lot of research done by her
进行了大量研究 and people around the world,
证明了有心理安全的团队组织 showing how groups,organizations with their psychological safety
他们的雇员不会害怕告密 with their employees don't or are not afraid of whistle blowing
也不会害怕摔倒 或犯错 or not afraid of falling down of making mistakes.
这些组织更为成功 These organizations are significantly more successful.
它们是学习型组织 These are learning organizations
雇员不断地学习成长 with the employees constantly learn and grow.
从错误中学习 Or you learn from your mistakes
下一次就能做得更好 and then the next time you are able to do better.
意义重大 影响深远的研究 Very significant,very important research,
无论是领导者 whether it's for leaders,
还是家长...你们中很多以后会成为家长 whether it's for parents- many of you will be future parents.
你们会不会为自己的孩子营造心理安全 Would you have this psychological safety for your kids,
让他们毫无约束地告诉你 while they feel comfortable talking to you about things
他们做的不好 失败的事 that they did not do well,about failures.
因为如果他们愿意跟你说 Because if they do feel comfortable,they are much less likely
就不容易进入害怕失败的完美主义 to enter into this perfectionistic fear of failure.
而会更快乐 更成功 And they are much more likely to be happier as well as successful
来听听关于Thomas Watson的故事 This is a story about Thomas Watson,
他是IBM的创建者 他至今仍旧 founder of IBM,one organization that he invented and
每天不断地改造它 reinvented itself numerous times- continues on the daily basis.
所以IBM能发展至今 And that's why it survives.
IBM刚成立 还在生产打字机时 So there was an employee at the beginning when IBM was founded,
有一名员工 when they were making type writers,
犯了战略性错误 an employee made a strategic error.
给IBM损失了一百万美元 And the error was that he actually lost IBM a million dollars
当时对于IBM来说这是一大笔钱 and a million dollars at that time for IBM was a lot of money.
于是他犯错后第二天 So the next day,after he made that mistake,
去找了创始人Thomas Watson he comes to see Thomas Watson,the founder,
给了他一封信 and gives him a letter.
Thomas Watson打开信读了读 Thomas Watson opens the letter and reads it
问那名员工 "这是什么" and looks at the employee and says,"what is this?"
他说"先生 这是我的辞职信" He says,"sir,it's my letter of resignation."
"为什么辞职" "Why resignation?"
"先生 我刚犯了个错 "Sir,I just made a mistake
给您的公司造成了一百万美元损失 that cost your organization a million dollars.
我不想...您对我一直很好 I don't want...You've been great to me.
我不想让您烦恼 I don't want to put you
是否要炒了我 through this difficult experience of firing me.
所以我主动辞职" So I'm resigning."
Thomas把信撕了 说"炒了你? Thomas took the letter and tore it and said,"fire you? Fire you?
我刚为您的教育投入了一百万美元 I've just invested a million dollars in your education
现在我要炒了你?" and I'm going to fire you?"
无论这则故事是否100%真是 还是部分真实 Now whether this story is exactly true,or almost true,
在IBM公司广为流传 it's still a story that circulates around IBM,
在IBM公司营造了良好的氛围 and a story that creates a certain reality in IBM,
告诉大家"你必须尝试" a reality that says "you have to try".
世界最成功的公司之一 强生公司 There is a similar story in Johnson & Johnson,
也有类似的故事 one of the most successful companies in the world,
Johnson将军 where General Johnson,
他与兄弟创建了该公司 one of the two founders with his other brother,
他们俩都叫Johnson 所以叫强生公司 also called Johnson- just why it's called Johnson & Johnson.
Jim Burke是强生公司的新人 So Jim Burke was an upcoming employee in Johnson & Johnson,
由于一个错误给公司造成了巨大损失 made a mistake that cost the organization a lot of money
简朴硬朗的Johnson将军 was called in the morning
一早会见了他 by General Johnson who was a very austere,very tough man.
Jim Burke走进他的办公室 可想而知胆战心惊 And Jim Burke comes in,you know all shivering and scared.
他走进Johnson将军的办公室 He comes in and walks into General Johnson's office.
Johnson将军从桌边 General Johnson walks from around his table,
走到他面前 说 goes to him and says,
"恭喜 Jim Burke 恭喜" "congratulation,Jim Burke! Congratulation!"
先生 我刚犯了个错 "Sir,I just made a mistake,sir."
"是的 我知道 这是学习的唯一方法 "Yes,I know.This is the only way to learn.
现在犯得错越多 将来越有可能成功 The more mistakes you make,the more successful you will be.
恭喜" Congratulations!"
Jim Burke非常高兴 正准备离开 And Jim Burke was all happy and about to walk out.
Johnson将军又说"还有一件事 Jim And General Johnson says,"oh,just one more thing,Jim:
如果你再犯同样的错 我会炒了你" if you make the same mistake again,I'm going to fire you."
这则关于失败的重要性的故事 But again,a story that goes around Johnson & Johnson
在强生公司流传开了 about the importance of failure.
而Jim Burke Jim Burke,by the way,
成为了强生公司最成功的CEO became the most successful CEO of Johnson & Johnson.
Thomas Watson 马上就结束了 再给我一分钟 Thomas Watson- I'm almost done,one minute,almost done:
"如果你想提高成功率 "If you want to increase your success rate,
就要将失败率翻倍" double your failure rate."
我们已经讲过这项研究 We talked about this research.We talked about this research,
天才的起源 the origins of the genius- the most successful,
历史上最成功的艺术家 the most successful artist,
最成功的科学家 the most successful scientist in history are also the ones
也是失败最多的 经历过最多的失败 who have failed the most times,who have the most duds.
爱迪生 达芬奇 It's the Edisons.It's the Davincis.
米开朗基罗 居里夫人 It's the Michelangelos.It's the Marie Currie.
最成功的 The most successful
科学家与艺术家 经历过最多的失败 scientist and artist have also failed the most.
还有 Klam And finally,Klam who did the...
Jane Klam对节食成功 Jane Klam who did research on people's success in dieting
或成功开始运动的人士进行研究 or people's success in starting an exercise regime,
她发现最成功的 what she found was the most successful people,
有毅力坚持下来的人 people who have been able to persist
都平均经历过5次失败 are people who have failed on average 5 times before.
也就是说他们减肥5次 都没有成功 So they have been on 5 diets and haven't succeeded.
到了第五次 或者第六次 The fifth one,or the sixth one-
才成功并维持住的 I'm successful and I'm able to sustain it.
运动也是如此 The same with the exercise regime.
学会失败 从失败中学习 Learn to fail or fail to learn.
周四见 See you on Thursday.