早上好 我叫Dana 我是大一的学生 Student:Hi.Good morning.My name is Dana.I'm a freshman.
我想跟你们说说 Um,I'd like to tell you about
下周会在哈佛进行的一个社会项目 a social program happening here at Harvard next week.
我爷爷是二战大屠杀的幸存者 My grandfather,who's Holocaust survivor,
他将要来哈佛讲述他的亲身经历 is coming to give an account of his experiences.
我想这会是一次非常特别的机会 I think it'll be a really special opportunity
让我们听到历史上一个感人的故事 to hear a moving account,a personal account of history.
他在其他大学和联合国做过演讲 He has spoken at other universities,at the UN.
他的故事挺扣人心弦的 His story is quite incredible.
演讲会于七点三十在纪念堂举行 The event will take place at 730 in the Memorial Church,
下周的这一天 3月18日 周二 a week from today - Tuesday,March 18.
想了解更详细的信息 请查看Facebook网页 For more information,you can find on the Facebook event.
"在奥斯威辛集中营中幸存:一位幸存者的故事" It's called "Surviving Auschwitz: A Holocaust survivor story".
你们可以谷歌… You could just Google...
或在哈佛的网站上查找二战大屠杀 You could just check Holocaust under the Harvard network.
希望大家能够抽时间来听听 And it'll be great if you could come.
如果有问题请联系我 我叫Dana So any questions,please find me.My name is Dana.
我会随时回复 我是这活动的主办人 I always send you the message.I was the creator of the event.
谢谢大家 谢谢Tal Thank you.Thank you,Tal.(Applause)
大家早上好 今天 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:Hi.Good morning.So today
我们会先讲完"改变" what we are going to do is finish up the lecture on change,
总结一下ABC 也就是影响 行为和认知 sum it up the ABCs- the affect,the behavior,the cognition,
然后继续讲另一个相关课题 设定目标 and then move on to a related topic which is setting goals,
这将是最后一个… which will be the last topic
在放假前我要讲的课题 that I'll address before we go on break.The...
上次讲完了急剧变化 Last time I ended up by talking about the acute change
由探索而得的经验引起的急剧变化 that comes with a Eureka experience,
这种经验来自顿悟感和洞察力 with an ah hah,with an insight.
我们讲过五个阶段 And we talked about these five stages.
之后有些学生联系我说 And a couple of you contacted me after about this and said,
"并不是很顺利" 没错 "well,it's not that smooth" and it's absolutely right.
这是一个理论 只是一个大纲 This is a theory.This is an outline.
你写作的时候 当你思考… When you write,when you come up with ideas,
或设定课程 when you generate course,
或是写论文时 when you write a paper or write a thesis-
你们当中有人在写论文 some of you are thesis writers,
你们常犯的错误是将它们混淆了 what you do is very often mix them.
通常你们会先准备 然后写一些 So you have preparation.Then you write a little bit.
之后休息一下 会有一些顿悟 And then you take a break.You have an insight.
再开始作更多准备等等 Then you go back to more preparation and on and on.
这只是一个轮廓 某些角度来看是很有用的 This is just a general outline,which is useful in a few ways.
首先 First of all,
我们光看着它就能明白 it is useful in that we can understand by looking at it.
没有捷径 There's no quick fix.
历史上所有的艺术家 科学家 None of the great creative artists,scientists,
商界名人都不是凭空出世的 business people in history,created in a vacuum.
他们首先得成为各自领域的专家 Initially they became experts in their fields.
他们努力工作 将自己沉浸在知识里 They worked hard.They immersed themselves in the material.
这是你们首先要记住的一点 So that's the first important element to remember.
没有捷径 我们得先付出努力 No short cuts.We have to apply ourselves.
还记得成功的秘诀吗? Remember the secret of success?
不光是思考 想象和相信 It's not just think,imagine,believe.
必须要有努力和热情这两点要素 It also has to have the component of hard work as well as passion
所有的成功人士 So all the successful people...
再次提到 做好的自助书籍是自传 Again,the best self-help books are biographies,
好的自传会教你如何成功 good biographies that show you the process,
而不是那么简单的"五步" not the "five easy steps".
第二个重要因素 比投入到准备过程… The second important thing beyond the importance of immersion
更重要的是 空闲时间的重要性 of the preparation is the significance of taking time off.
今天的领导人所缺的… One of the first thing that leaders of today,
他们所缺的其中一样东西是时间 one of the things they don't have today is time.
时间是他们最需要的 It's the thing that they need most.
有空闲时间去筹划 反思 Time off to incubate,to reflect,to metaphorically,
或只是坐在浴缸里思考 or literally,sit in the bath and think.
熟虑 发呆的时间段 That incubation,the idle time stage.
记得J.P.Morgan说过 Remember J.P.Morgan's quote:
"我可以用9个月而不是12个月来完成一年的工作" "I can do a year’s work in nine months,but not in twelve."
那是要有所顿悟或灵感出现为前提的 And that's when the Eureka comes.That's when the good ideas come.
这些灵感来自一夜好觉之后 It's actually after a good night's sleep.
或是充分休息一段时间之后 It's after "we do nothing for a while".
或是在洗澡过程中 It's when we in the shower.
下一个重要因素是 The next important thing,
这个模型的组成部分是评估部分 component of this model is the evaluation part.
人有很多好的想法 You know,there are many good ideas,
但极少数是可以有好成果 but very few ideas come to fruition
最终成为经商的好点子 and actually become a good idea for a business,
或成为科学论文或书籍的好构思 or a good idea for a scientific paper,or a book,
或其他任何有作为的东西 or whatever it may be.
这时候就需要评估 That's when the evaluation comes
需要详细筹备 and that's when the elaboration comes.
这也就是创作的必经阶段 And these are no less important parts of the creative process.
真的需要百分之一的灵感 It really is about 1 percent inspiration
百分之九十九的汗水 没捷径可言 and 99 percent perspiration.No short cuts.
所以总结起来:ABC 也就是影响(情感) So to summarize: the ABCs- the affect (the emotion),
行为和认知 the behavior (action),and the cognition (the thought).
我想谈一个小小的技巧 I want to talk about a technique,
一个简单的方法 就是把有深刻 a simple technique- journaling that has remarkable,
影响的事情记录下来 remarkable consequence.
请大家举起手 Just get a show of hands: how many people keep a journal
多少人有长期写日记的习惯?好 or have kept a journal for significant amount of time? OK.
这么多人有这个习惯 是件好事 That's great.That's great to see.
从这个课程和大家之前 We know from,from this course and research
接触过的研究中知道 改变是困难的 you encountered before how difficult change is.
有的项目持续五年了还是没有进展 Sometimes programs that have been around for 5 years don't help.
通常投入的资金是数百万 数十亿 Very often interventions were millions and billions.
大概每年投入巨额资金来做研究 It's about-100-billion-dollars-a year industry
才能对各行业和机构有所改变 that change industries and organizations.
很多的资金投入都浪费了 Most of the interventions don't work.
说明改变有多难 We know how difficult it is to change.
而日记呢? And yet journaling?
有实质的研究结果证明它的作用很大 Very solid research showing how much it helps.
我跟你们分享一下某项调查 So let me share with you a study.
这项调查是由… This was done by the person
那些将日志带进科学领域的人来做的 who really brought journaling into the scientific realm.
有些像Ira Progoff这样的人 So there'd been people like Ira Progoff and others
长期以来一直在讨论写日记的作用 who had been talking about journaling for a very long time,
但却是德州大学的Jamie Pennebaker but it was Jamie Pennebaker from University of Texas,Austin,
将这个想法带进了科学领域 who brought this idea to the scientific realm
并真正意义上研究它 他是这么做的 and really researched it.And here is what he did.
他选了一些参与者 并让他们 What he did was bringing participants and have them do
做以下的事情:连续四天 the following: on 4 consecutive days that they came in,each day,
每天都用15分钟的时间 就15分钟 they would spend 15 minutes- that's all,15 minutes,
来写下最难忘的经历 times for writing about the most difficult experiences.
他们知道其实没人会看的 Now they knew that no one would see it.
就算被人看到 Or if they would see it,
这些日记也是匿名的 绝对保密 it would be without a name- completely confidential.
所以完全可以看成是他们的私人日记 So they were really able to treat it as their own journal.
以下就是他们得到的指示 And here was the instructions that these participants got.
有点长 但值得一读 It's a little long but worth,I think,worth reading.
"连续写下你一生中最难过 "Write continuously about the most upsetting
或最痛苦的经历" or traumatic experience of your entire life.
不必在意语法 拼写或句子结构 Don't worry about grammar,spelling,or sentence structure.
在日记中 我希望你能谈谈… In your writing,I want you to discuss
你对这经历的最深刻的想法和感受 your deepest thoughts and feelings about the experience.
写什么都行 You can write about anything you want.
但不管你选什么 But whatever you choose,
都必须是对你有着深刻影响的 it should be something that has affected you very deeply.
最好是一些… Ideally,it should be about something
你从未怎么跟别人讲过的事 you have not talked about with others in detail.
其实挺难的 因为敞开了心扉 It is critical,however,that you let yourself go
去触碰那些你内心深处的感情和思想 and touch those deepest emotions and thoughts that you have.
换句话说 In other words,
就是写下你的经历和以前的感想 write about what happened and how you felt about it,
以及现在对它的看法如何 and how you feel about it now.
最后 你可以每次都写不同的痛苦经历 Finally,you can write on different traumas during each session
也可以整个研究过程都写同一个经历 or the same one over the entire study.
每次你可以选择任何想写的痛苦经历 Your choice of trauma for each session is entirely up to you."
很简单的做法 很直接 Simple instructions.Pretty straight-forward.
如果有留心 就知道当中包含了ABC三个要素 If you notice,you see the ABCs in it.
它包含了"写出发生的事" So it says "write about what happened",
也就是行为 which is the behavior essentially.
写下你的深刻感受 受到的影响以及你的情感 Write about your deepest feelings- your affect,your emotions.
写下你的想法并分析它 And write about your thought and analyze it.
这样 日记里就包含了ABC三个因素 The ABCs in journaling.
他做了这项研究后 最初结果出来了 So when he did this study,initially the results came in- because
他首先看到的是焦虑水平 one of the first things he looked at was the anxiety level,
因此看到结果时 他失望了 so when the results came in,disappointment.
他考虑要不要停止这项研究 In fact,thinking of stopping the study,
因为这就是他的研究所得 because this is what he found.
大家看这幅图 这是焦虑水平 So if we have this graph,this would be anxiety level.
这是时间 This would be time.
他有一个对照组 对照组的成员 He had a control group and the control group just wrote
只是写下他们想写的东西 about anything that they wanted to write about.
随着时间推移 焦虑水平没有改变 Show no change over time.
从这里开始 一条直线过来 So they started here,and they essentially,straight line.
而干预组 实验组的成员 The intervention group,the experimental group,
经过四天 写下他们最痛苦… after 4 days of writing about their most traumatic,
最难过的经历后 most difficult experiences.
他们的起点一样 当初分组是随机分的 They started at the same point.They were randomly divided.
他们的焦虑水平竟呈现上升趋势 And then a rise in their anxiety.
每天这么写 在这四天内 After each of the days and during the 4 days-
他们的焦虑水平上升了 rise in their levels of anxiety.
到了这个位置时 At this point,
他考虑终止研究 因为非常失望 he was thinking terminating the study- very disappointed.
因为他自己觉得… Because he got from personal experience-
写日记对他有帮助 he knew that journaling helps him and
而也有其他人说过这一观点 knew other people who talk about it,who swear by journaling.
四天之后 从第五天开始 But then,once the 4 days are over,during the fifth,
尤其是第六天 第七天之后 especially starting 6th,7th and on days,
奇怪的事发生了 this is what starts to happen.
他们的焦虑水平降低了 Their anxiety levels went down.
达到了原来的水平 Learning that they reach the same level as before,
还持续下降 they continue to go down.
最重要的是 And the most important thing is that
在原来的水平之下保持稳定 they stabilized below the previous level.
在原来的焦虑水平之下保持稳定 They stabilized below the previous levels of anxiety,
他密切留意着这些参加者 when he followed these participants
一段很长的时间 长达一年 over a longer period of time up to a year.
四次 15分钟 足足一小时 4 times,15 minutes- that's total of an hour.
时间很短 效果是持续的 That's very little.And long lasting results.
想想 我们之前也知道 Think about it: this is also what we saw before.
有时候 简单的干预是很有效果的 Sometimes,brief interventions are extremely effective.
想想我上周说过的害羞研究 Think about the shyness study that I spoke about last week
12次 每次12分钟 让男士们与对他们… after 12 sessions of 12 minutes with women
有好感的女士们独处 who were interested in them,
这些害羞的异性恋男士发生了很大的变化 these shy heterosexual men change radically.
所以改变其实可以发生在极短的时间内 So change can come in a relatively brief period of time
关键是我们要知道如何干预 if we know how to intervene.
而日记就是其中的一种干预方式 And journaling is one of these interventions.
我不会要你们写这个作业 Now this is not going to be one of your response paper-
因为太私人了 it's too personal.
我觉得不该布置给你们 I don't think it's appropriate to assign it,
但我强烈推荐你们试一下 but I certainly do recommend that you do it.
严格按照Pennebaker的指示 Follow specifically Pennebaker's instructions.
不会占很长时间 Doesn't take that long.
连续四天都做 每次15到20分钟 Do it on 4 days,15 minutes,20 minutes each time,
想到什么写什么 just write whatever comes to mind.
一段时间之后可以降低你们的焦虑感 So it was reducing anxiety over time.
这项研究的其他结果 Other results of the study-
如果你想了解更多 and if you want to read much more about it,
他有一本很棒的书 叫《开放》 he has a wonderful book called "Opening Up".
Jamie Pennebaker的《开放》 "Opening Up",by Jamie Pennebaker.
他们变得更健康 They became healthier.
一年过后 他们回去看医生的人数 So over the year of the study,they visited the doctor's office,
远比对照组的人少 compared to a control group,far less.
就是说 这项研究增强了他们的免疫系统 In other words,it strengthened their immune system,
不光是他们的心理免疫系统 not just their psychological immune system,
同时还有他们的身体免疫系统 their physiological immune system.
总得来说他们心情好了 Generally they were in a better mood.
比以前更快乐 更乐观 更积极 They were happier,more jovial,more benefit finders,
在他们记下最深刻伤痛后 after writing about their deepest traumas.
他们变得更外向 不那么压抑和忧郁了 They became more outgoing,less repressed,less suppressed.
为什么会这样呢 我们说过积极情感 Now why is that? We talked about it often that positive emotions
和痛苦情感都来自同一个输送通道 and painful emotions flow through the same pipeline.
如果我们抑制着某些事情 或停止一些… And if we suppress something,if we stop something,
痛苦的事 我们常常会间接地 which is painful,we are very often indirectly,
同时无意中抑制一些积极的情感 inadvertently also suppressing the positive emotions,
只要他们随时敞开心胸 whereas here they open up,quite literally open up
让这些情绪尽情流露 and allow these emotions to flow through them.
那他们其实是打开了一条闭塞的通道 They are essentially opening up a clogged channel-
一条各种情绪… a clogged channel through which emotions,
包括痛苦和积极情绪流动的通道 painful as well as positive emotions normally flow.
他们也能体验到更高层次的快乐 And they experience higher levels of happiness.
他们会更阳光 更慷慨 They are more open,more generous,
就像你做感恩练习时所得的结果一样 as we saw also when you do the gratitude exercise.
非常相似 Very similar results.
有趣的是 会有性别差异 There were gender differences,which is interesting.
男女都从中受益 Now both sexes benefited from it.
但男士比女士受益更多 However,men benefited more than women.
试想一下 Think about it.
为什么 仔细想想 其实不无道理 Why do you think that is? It makes sense,if you think about it.
受益的女士 状况大大改善 Women benefited significantly got better,
但男士受益更多 but men benefited even more.
为什么?一般来说 Why? Because women have,generally speaking- again,
这是千遍一律的说法 this is brush stroke stereotype-
但一般来说 女士敞开得更多 but generally speaking,women open up more.
她们和女伴们谈得更多 They speak more with their girl friends.
她们有密友 并对她们倾诉一切 They have closer friends and they talk about issues.
而在今天的文化中 男士还是比较保守 Men still in our culture today are much more close
因为找人倾诉有点没面子 because it's not cool to open up.
准许自己为人 不是一件很酷的事 It's not cool to give yourself the permission to be human,
尤其是有其他人在旁时 especially when others are listening.
因此 在生活中 女士们 so women generally in their lives
比男士们更容易获得支持 But still,even women who have strong supports systems
但尽管如此 拥有强大支持的女士 still benefit from this exercise,
仍能从这项练习中获益 which reminds me of another result of a study
这让我想起了另一项研究的结果 I mentioned months ago,the beginning of the course,
我几个月前提到过的 在课程开始时 which said women generally,again these are all averages,
提到一般来说 女人 but in general,
我指通常情况 women- or rather men benefit more from marriage than women.
或者说男人 在婚姻中比女人受益更多 For similar reason.
类似的原因 Because women already have the supports system in place.
因为女士们原来就有支持系统 Men,very often,for the first time they are with someone,
而男人 通常这是他们第一次遇到一个 who they feel comfortably enough opening up to.Again,
让他们觉得能安心倾诉的人 同样 both males and females benefit from a long-term relationship,
尽管男女都在长期的恋爱关系中获益 but men generally tend to benefit more than women.
但还是男士受益比女士多 For the same reason that he found gender difference here.
他发现了因同一个原因而产生的性别差异… Across cultures.
存在于不同文化当中 This is done in China,in Japan,Mexico,Argentina,
这项研究分别在中国 日本 墨西哥和阿根廷做过 United States of course,Europe- replicated across cultures.
当然也包括美国 欧洲等不同文化 In all cultures,people benefit from this study.
不同文化的人们都从该项研究受益 Here is another study,which took the exact opposite approach.
还有另一项研究 用的是相反的方法 So Laura King was a student of Pennebaker,
Laura King是Pennebaker的学生 took the exact opposite approach and said,
用相反的方法来做这项研究 她说 "let's study...(inaudible)...
"我们来研究一下… to see what happens when the individuals
"看当人们… write about their most intensive positive experience.
写下最快乐的经历时会有怎样的结果 What she did specifically was taking the instructions
她的做法明确地根据 from Abraham Maslow's work on peak experience.
Abraham Maslow关于巅峰经验的研究 And here are the instructions.
以下就是做法 Once again,this was three times,15 minutes,
三次 15分钟 so 45 minutes total on three consecutive days.
连续三天 总共45分钟 "Think of the most wonderful experience
"想出生命中最精彩的经历… or experiences in your life,happiest moments,ecstatic moments,
或多次美好的经历 快乐 兴奋的时刻 moments of rapture,perhaps from being in love,
或坠入爱河极度欢喜的时刻 or from listening to music,or suddenly ‘being hit’
或者听音乐时的欢快时刻 或突然… by a book or painting or from some great creative moment.
发现一本好书或好画或突然灵感乍现" Choose one such experience or moment.
选择其中一个这样的时刻 Try to imagine yourself at that moment,
想象自己正经历这一时刻 including all the feelings and emotions
沉浸在所有与这一经历有关的… associated with the experience.
感受和情感中 Now write about the experience in as much detail as possible
尽量详细地写下这次经历 trying to include the feelings,thoughts,
尽量写下感受和想法 and emotions that were present at the time.
及当时产生的情感 Please try your best to re-experience the emotions involved."
尽量尝试重新经历那些情感 Essentially the exact opposite of Pennebaker.
这个做法和Pennebaker的做法相反 Results? Identical.
结果呢?完全一样 Those who wrote about their peak experiences,
那些写下他们巅峰经验的人 their best experiences,visited the doctor's office less time-
写下最快乐经历的人 去看医生的次数少了 in other words,it strengthened their physiological immune system
就是说 这个做法增强了他们的身体免疫系统 and experienced more happiness.
让他们体验更多快乐 So both psychological and physiological results.
不论心理还是身体上都得到同样的效果 Now when you look at this,some of you may be thinking that
现在来看 你们有些人可能会想 "well,what about the Lyubomirsky study?"
"那Lyubomirsky的研究呢" Remember the Lyubomirsky study?
还记得Lyubomirsky的研究吗? That said when you write about positive emotions.
那项研究表示 当你写下积极情感时 Actually you feel worse.
其实你感觉更糟 Whereas you write about negative emotions,
而写下负面情感 you do feel better as Pennebaker suggested.
都会如Pennebaker所说 感觉会好些 Here's the difference.
不同之处在于 The instructions that Laura King gave were mostly,
Laura King的做法主要是… were mostly about describing and re-experiencing,
描述和重新体验 replaying your experience.
重现你的经历 It wasn't about analyzing "why did it happen","how did it"...
而不是分析"怎么会发生这种情况" It was rather how it happen- in other words,replaying it.
而是它的发生过程 就是重现 When the instructions-
当做法… and this is the Lyubomirsky study- were analyze the experience:
而Lyubomirsky的研究是分析这种经历 why it happened,how did you get there and so on and so on.
为什么会发生 你为什么会遇上之类的 That's why it had the negative consequences over time,
这就是为什么随着时间推移 会产生负面的效果 but just replaying the experience,
但只是重现经历 just writing about how wonderful it is,
只写下这次经历有多美好 re-experiencing emotionally what that was-
重新体验当时的情感 that actually let you benefit.
实际上会让你受益 Now the interesting question is why.
有趣的问题是为什么 Why are there such remarkable benefits to journaling?
为什么写日记能产生如此显著的好处? Let's understand the process,the mechanism.
我们来理解一下这个过程 当中的原理 So there are a few things that are at play here.
现在有几件事情在这里起作用 One of the things for example with positive emotions is that
例如你带着积极情感 when you are replaying it,you are simply,
在回想其中一次经历 you are fortifying the neural pathways.
你其实是在增强神经通路 You replay,you imagine it again
你再次重现 想象它 and you make it more likely to happen again.
让它像重新发生一样 Just like when you have a river,
就像你面前有条河 remember the analogy from two weeks ago,you have a river,
记得两周前的类推法吗 你面前有条河 and the more water go through it,then the wider it becomes,
流过的水越多 它就变得越宽阔 and then the more water is likely to go into it.
然后越来越多水流进去 That's self-reinforcing nature of change.
这是变化的本质 自我实现 So the first thing,
因此 the first reason why writing especially about painful emotions
为什么写下 尤其是痛苦情感 but not just painful emotions,
但也不只是痛苦情感 the reason why it helps is because of tension.
之所以有所帮助是因为紧张感 We talked about ironic processing- Daniel Wegner's work from here
我们之前讲过Daniel Wegner的"反语处理" And what he talks about is that
而他谈到… when we suppress unnatural phenomenon,it often intensifies.
当我们抑制非自然现象时 通常会适得其反 Be it thinking about a pink elephant
比如想像一头粉红色的大象 or be it suppressing painful emotions.
或抑制痛苦的情感 And when we give ourselves the permission to be human,
当我们准许自己为人 we are much more likely to release it,to let go,
我们都倾向于释放感情 放开心胸 which is why therapy helps,which is why sharing with friends,
这就是治疗产生作用的原因 就是为什么和朋友分享 opening up helps,which is why journaling helps.
与人倾诉以及写日记能有所帮助 This is the whole idea of suppression or repression.
这就是抑制或压抑的概念 The second thing that Pennebaker talks about is coherence.
Pennebaker所说的另一件事是关联性 One of the things that he finds is that
他发现的其中一件事是… the individuals who benefit most,and he analyzes the test,
那些受益最大的人 他分析了这个测试 confidentially of course,but he analyzes the test.
秘密地 他对测试进行分析 Individuals who benefit most from the study
从这项研究受益最多的人 are once introduced a lot of insight words,or insight phrases,
都使用了一些领悟性的词语或词组 meaning by the third day,they are all writing
也就是说到了第三天 他们都开始写到 "now I see that" or "I understand that"
"现在我知道了"或者"我明白了" or "it just dawned on me that" or "I realize that".
"我突然明白了"或"我意识到" Those who have many of these words or phrases in their writings
日记里提及到这些词或短语的次数最多的人 are the ones who benefited the most.
就是受益最大的人 In other words,
换句话说 they've created a sense of coherence out of the experience.
他们已从这经历中创造出一种关联性 They make sense out of something perhaps
他们从某些事当中得到了启示 before that was senseless.
这些事情以前也许是毫无意义的 In other words,they created a story around their experiences.
也就是说 他们围绕着他们的经历创造出故事 It's no longer dispersed,disjointed,disconnected data.
这经历已不再是零散的 无关的片段 Now it is a coherent whole.It's a story.
现在已经是一个连贯 完整的故事 Now I can deal with it.
现在我可以面对它了 And if you think about it,what do people mostly remember?
仔细想想 人们通常最记得的是什么? People mostly remember stories.
他们最记得的是故事 Why? Because you remember a story,
为什么?你能记住一个故事 because it's one unit- it's a whole.
是因为它是一个整体 If I give you now a collection of,you know,100 random words,
如果我现在给你们100个随机的词 it'll take you a very long time to commit to memory.
那你得花很长时间才能记住 I mean we all know,we all took the SATs.
我们都清楚 我们都做过学术评估测试 But if I tell you a story,
如果我跟你讲一个故事 you are much more likely to remember it.
你多数都会记得 Maybe not word for word,but certainly,the general ideas.
也许不是每个词都记得 但大概意思 Because we can hold it,we can grasp it.
因为我们能将它连贯起来 可以理解 Because it has a sense of coherence.
它有关联性 I can deal with it.I can handle it,
我能理解 能记住 as opposed to some dispersed ideas,disjointed words.
而不像一些零散的 不连贯的单词 The exact same here.
而同样的道理 We want to feel that our lives have a sense of coherence
我们想感受到我们的生命的关联性 that we can make sense of them.
让生命变得有意义 Pennebaker: "An artifact of our ambiguous and unpredictable world
Pennebaker说"我们模糊且无可预知的世界的产物之一 is the anxiety of not attaining completion
就是对不能完满成功而产生的焦虑 and not understanding a simple cause-and-effect explanation
和无法理解对一些造成痛苦困扰的缘由 for traumatic disturbances.
的简单解释" Alas,we naturally search for meaning
我们自然地去寻找… and the completion of events; it gives us a sense of control
事件的意义和完满性 它让我们有了对生命的… and predictability over our lives."
控制以及预知能力 Again,that's why therapy helps,
这再次说明了疗法能起作用的原因 because we create coherence out of experience.
因为我们从经验中创造出关联性 This is why there was far less post-traumatic stress disorder
这就是大屠杀造成的创伤后遗症远少于… after the Holocaust after there was the Vietnam war.
越南战争造成的创伤后遗症的原因 Because after the Holocaust,they spoke about these experiences.
因为在大屠杀之后 士兵们说出了这次经历 They created a story around it,a tragic one,
他们围绕这次经历讲出一个故事 虽然悲惨 but still there was a sense of coherence,as opposed to Vietnam
但还是会有关联性 和越战的经历不同 where there was just random flashes of experiences
对于越战 他们只有一些零散的记忆 without giving themselves permission,or without society,
并没有准许自己为人 也没有这样的社会环境 in many ways,giving them the permission to open up
或其他途径让他们尽情倾诉 and to create a story out of it that they could hand,
来说出一个他们可以应付 they could grasp.
可以接受的故事 The work of Pennebaker to a great extent relies on the work of
Pennebaker的研究大部分是以一位我们 a psychologist who we mentioned on the very first day of class.
第一天提过的心理学家的理论为基础的 And that is Aaron Antonovsky.
那就是Aaron Antonovsky Aaron Antonovsky
whom I consider to be one of the fathers of positive psychology,
我把他看作幸福心理学的奠基人之一 if you remember,came up with the notion of "salutogenesis",
如果你记得 就会想起"健康本源学" an alternative to the pathogenic model- pathogenic model,
病理模型的替代 the model that focuses on pathology,on sickness,on illness,
就是那个专门讲病理学和疾病的模型 where what Antonovsky said is
Antonovsky说 we need to focus on the origins of health.
我们要关注的是健康的始源 Saluto- health; genesis- origin.
Saluto是健康 genesis是本源 And what he did specifically was the following.
他的具体做法如下 So he was a sociologist and he said the following-
他是个社会学家 他说 he said: look,life is tough.People go through hardship.
生活是艰苦的 人们都在艰苦奋斗 They go through difficulties- whether we like it or not,
无论愿意与否 我们都会遇到困难 we all in life encountered hardships.
生活中 我们遇到各种困难 In relationship,in school,at work- whatever,whichever domain,
恋爱中 上学时 工作中 there are hardships,there are difficulties.
都有困难与挫折的存在 Life is hard.Period.We know that.
总有时候生活是艰苦的 大家都知道 However,there are some people
然而 有些人… who are able to better deal with the hardship,
对困难和挫折… with the difficulties,who still,
处理得更好 他们… despite- they don't do away these hardships-
尽管不是没遇到这些困难 despite these hardships and difficulties
就算常遇到困难和挫折 are still able to lead a full,fulfilling and overall,happy life
他们仍能过上充实 满足且幸福的生活 Not the constant high-
不是指那种… that's reserved for psychopaths and dead people.
精神病患者或死人的那种永恒的快乐 With the same ups and downs,but at a higher level of wellbeing,
而是有高低起伏 但是更高层次的幸福 or of a lower level of anxiety.
或者说是一个焦虑水平比较低的生活 And he said we need to study those.
他说我们要研究这些人 We shouldn't just study the sick people,
不该只研究有病的人 whether the sick people who are physically ill-
不管是身体健康有问题的病人 which is mostly the pathogenic model of medicine,
就是通常在医学中用作病理学模型的病人 or the people who are unwell psychologically- schizophrenia,
还是心理方面的病人-精神分裂症病人 depression,anxiety as psychology has mostly studied.
忧郁症病人 还是心理学中研究最多的焦虑症病人 He said we need to look at the healthy people and study them,
他说我们该关注健康的人 并研究他们 which is exactly the model
正是这个模型… that led to asking the question in 1980s with at-risk population:
让他在80年代时调查了一些风险人群 "What makes some individuals succeed
"是什么使得某些人 despite unfavorable circumstances?"
在艰苦的环境中取得成功?" It was his question that made all the difference.
就是因为他的这个问题 改变了一切 So he did the same in his research
于是在他的研究中 他做了同样的事情 and asked about the general population:
找了一些人来做调查 问他们 "Who are the people who are healthy?
"为什么他们会健康? And what is the origin of that health?
他们健康来自哪里? What distinguishes them from other people?"
他们和其他人有何不同?" And he came up with the notion of the sense of coherence
于是他发现了关联性的作用 that people have the sense of coherence about their lives.
那些人让生活保持关联性 What that means is that,
也就是说 he said it has three components that he researched and identified
他说他研究并最终确定的因素有三个 The first component:
第一: sense of comprehensibility- I understand the world.
理解能力-我能理解世界 It makes sense to me.I see.I realize.I get it.
世界对我很重要 我看得到 感觉到 理解到 The world and event,difficulties and hardships,
世界 事件 困难 挫折 highs and lows make sense to me mostly.
生活的高低起伏对我来说是宝贵经历 Second,sense of manageability.
第二 管理能力 I can deal with it.I can handle it.
我可以处理得了 能承受得了 I have the internal as well as external resources to deal with it
我能利用各种内部和外部资源处理事情 as opposed to being helpless.
而不是孤立无援 This is a sense of efficacy,of confidence-
这是一种能效 一种自信 being able to deal with the hardships that arise.
能够处理突如其来的困难 So that's the second component.
这就是第二个因素 The third and the final component
最后一个因素是… that makes up the sense of coherence,according to Antonovsky,
如Aaron Antonovsky所说 能够产生关联性的 is a sense of meaningfulness.
意义性 This was not in vain- this difficulty.
困难的出现不是毫无意义的 This disagreement with my partner was not for nothing,
我和伴侣意见不合不是坏事 because we understand one another better now.
因为通过这事 我们更了解对方 And we are even close,more intimate.
我们会变得更亲密 This failure was not in vain.
我们在之间的冲突是有意义的 I have learned from it.And I have grown from it.
我已经从中学习到东西 并得到成长 This mistake has reason- again,
这个错误是有原因的 not necessarily happen for the best,
这件事的发生不一定是好的 but learning how to make the best of what happens.
但可以学习如何在事情发生后用最好的方法解决 These three components are what he identified and replicated
他定义了这三个因素 in later research as the source of mental health.
并被用作之后的精神健康研究来源 To quote Pennebaker- to quote Antonovsky,a sense of coherence:
根据Pennebaker和Antonovsky的说法 关联感: "A global orientation that expresses the external-
是"一种整体适应性 the extent to which one has a pervasive,
主要包含三个方面 enduring though dynamic feeling of confidence that
对生活的感受性和信心： (1) the stimuli deriving from one's internal
(1)在生命中个体感受到 and external environments in the course of living are structured,
来自内外部环境的压力 predictable and explicable (comprehensible,in other words);
是明确 具体 可预测的(即领悟性) (2) the resources are available to one to meet the demands posed
(2)个体感受到应对内外部环境压力 by these stimuli (internal resources and external resources:
所需资源是充分的 I can deal with it,I can manage);
可以利用的(即可控性) and (3) these demands are challenges,
(3)个体感受到来自内外部环境的压力具有挑战性 worthy of investment and engagement (it's meaningful)."
值得花时间和精力去应对" Look at these three.
看看这三点 For all those who write a journal,
对写日记的人来说 I bet you can identify these three in your writings.
我肯定能在你们的日记中找到这三点 This is what a journal does to a great extent.
这就是日记所产生的巨大影响 When we write and when we really write about our experiences,
当我们真的写下我们的经历 our difficult experiences,
那些艰苦的经历 this is very often what comes up - have sense of coherence.
就必须要有关联感 I see.I understand.Make sense.
我知道 我懂 这经历是很重要的 I can deal with it.I can handle it.
我现在可以面对它 承受它 I have just found a path of how to do it.
我刚找到了一种处理它的方法 Even if dealing with it and handling it is writing a journal,
尽管只是将它写成日记 and finally,it makes sense to me.
最后 它对我的人生来说 是有意义的 It's meaningful to me now,whereas before,it didn't as much.
它现在变得有意义了 尽管之前意义不大 So if you don't have a journal,you don't journal,
所以 如果你没有写日记的习惯 it is certainly something that I highly,highly recommend.
我强烈推荐你开始写日记 Let me summarize the whole change lecture: the A,B and C.
我来总结一下"改变"这一课:A B C三点因素 The three are interconnected.
三点是相互关联 In fact,if we want real change to come about,
事实上 如果我们真的想有所改变 they have to be interconnected.
必须将这三点紧密连接起来 Why? Because habit is like a flood.
为什么?因为习惯就像洪水一样 And it's not enough if we just create a small nook
如果我们只是开一个凹角或一条小缝 or cranny trying to create a new habit.
是不足以养成一个新习惯 Because flood would wash it away.
因为洪水会将它冲走 What we need is the A,the B and the C.
我们需要的是结合A B和C Implement these changes in our lives.
将这些变化融入我们生活中 And they are interconnected.So let me give you an example.
它们是内部相连的 举一个例子 Let's say someone who has low self-esteem.
例如那些自尊心很弱的人 Low self-esteem,the C- cognition:
低自尊心 C 认知 they don't think highly of themselves.
他们会小瞧自己 Poor self evaluation.
自我评价低 When you don't think highly of yourself,
当你瞧不起自己时 you are more likely to be innervated,to feel down,
就会比较内向 感觉没自信 not to be motivated,and as a result of that,that is the Affect,
更别说有动力了 也因此而产生不良影响 the emotion that you experience- not good feelings;
产生不好的情感 as a result of that,we are much more likely to do nothing-
因此很可能会变得碌碌无为 in other words,the B is do nothing.
也就是说 B是碌碌无为 Now through self-perception theory,
通过自我认知理论 the behavior then affects my cognition on doing nothing:
这种行为进而影响我对碌碌无为的认知 I'm not dealing.I'm not coping.I'm avoiding.
我处理不了事情 我逃避事情 And that lowers my self esteem,
这会使自尊降低 even more my evaluation of myself,the C.
进而使自我评价更低 就是C And that leads to even worse emotions
这导致更低落的情感 and so on and so on and so on,in a downward spiral,
等等 形成一个向下的螺旋 until in some cases,we reach resignation,
直到在某些情况下 我们自我放弃了 or in Martin Seligman's words,learned helplessness.
或用Martin Seligman的话来说 就是"习得性无助" Now think of someone who has high self-esteem,
现在 想想那些自尊心强的人 high level of self-confidence.
他们很有自信 I believe in myself.I think I can do well.
我相信自己 我认为我能做好 That leads to high level of motivation.
那样会导致高水平的激励 Remember what Marva Collins does?
记得Marva Collins是怎么做的吗? The model that we talked about under belief,
我们讲过的关于信仰的模型 self-fulfilling prophecies-
自我实现预言 that leads to high levels of motivations,strong emotions.
能提高个人动机和导致强烈的情感 I'm energized.
我充满动力 And that in turn leads to more action- the B,the behaviors.
也反过来引发更多的行动 就是B 行为 Because I act more,I do more,I cope more.
因为我做得更多 我应对的就更多 I put myself on the line more.
我更多地把自己置于水平线上 I'm much more likely to have more positive evaluation of myself,
那我对自己的积极评价就会更高些 which leads to more positive emotions and on and on and on,
因此也会产生更多积极情绪等等 in an upward spiral.
呈现一个上升的螺旋 The spiral that Barbara Fredrickson talks about
也就是Barbara Fredrickson所说的螺旋 in the Broaden-and-build,the spiral that Bandura talks about
他在"拓延-建构"中谈到 when he discusses self-efficacy.
自我能效时所提到的螺旋 When we intervene,it's important to introduce,
既然涉及到这方面 就很有必要介绍一下了 if possible,all three.
可以的话 三点我都想说说 And we can start anywhere.
从哪里说起都可以 So let's take an example- someone with socialphobia,
我举个例子 例如一个有社交恐惧症的人 someone who is afraid to be out there,in front of people.
一个害怕社交活动 不善与人交际的人 One way to deal with it-
治疗这种症状的一种方法… let's begin with the A,the Affect,the emotion.
我们先从A说起 就是影响 也就是情感 One way to deal with it is through medication
其中一方面是药物治疗 that goes directly to our emotions.
直接影响我们的情绪 Another way of dealing with it is meditation,
另一方面是冥想 which also affects our emotions directly.
同样直接影响我们的情绪 Some people benefit more from one,or from the other-
有些人比较适合第一种 有的适合第二种 depends on how extreme the situation is.
这取决于他的状况有多极端 But that's the A,the Affect.
这是A 影响 One way of dealing with it,behavior,
另一种治疗方法 行为 is through what's called in cognitive behavioral therapy,exposure
通过所谓的认知行为疗法来进行 曝光 which is gradual exposure to stimuli that create that phobia.
逐步将自己曝光在产生这种恐惧的刺激物前 So initially I'll walk,you know,10 yards out of my home.
首先 先走出家门10码 Initially exposure through the imagination
先通过想象来曝光 and I include it under behavior,
之后付诸实践 because the mind does know the difference
因为我们的大脑分不清楚… between the imaginary and the real.
想象和现实的差异 So gradually being exposed to it.
逐渐走出更远 Over time being exposed more and more,
随着时间推移 曝光度越来越高 until I can go out to a mall
直到我可以去到一个商场 and not experience the same anxiety that I did a year ago.
并再也没有一年前那种焦虑 So that's through behavior.
这就是行为治疗法 Very effective- the exposure technique.
很有效 曝光的方法 And finally,you can also intervene through cognition in therapy,
最后 在治疗过程中还能介入认知 in dealing with irrational thoughts,psychological traps,
来处理不理智的想法 心理困惑 the three M's- "Am I magnifying? The extent.
那三个M "我有将事情放大吗 Am I minimizing something?
我有轻视了自己的一些才能吗? For example,my successes in working with people.
例如小瞧了自己在与人相处方面的成功 Or am I making up? Imaginary scenarios.
我有在编造事实 想象情景吗? My catastrophizing events when I can have a more realistic view."
本可以更现实地看待的事情 我有将它灾难化吗? So that's my thinking about it,the cognition.
这就是我的想法 认知 Let me show you a personal example of something that I dealt with
跟你们说说我克服某种困难的做法 So as you know,born through genes- high levels of anxiety.
你们知道 我天生就很容易焦虑 Very prone to it.
我很容易焦虑 Startle very easily- still,less today,
容易吃惊 容易被惊吓 现在好一点了 but still to some extent today.
但还是会容易吃惊 Used to get very nervous in squash matches.
以前参加壁球比赛时非常紧张 Used to choke often,when I was playing important games.
在重要比赛时常常呼吸困难 And that's something that in front of,
但我面对的事实是 speaking in front of an audience,got very nervous and anxious.
要在观众面前讲话 非常紧张和焦虑 And this is something that I decided
我决定要… that I really wanted to deal with.
克服这种心理 More than any other things that I was facing.The thing anxiety.
我面临的最大困难不是其他 而是焦虑 So what did I do? Let me begin first with the C,Cognition.
那我是怎么做的呢 我先从C 认知说起 What I did- I analyzed the situation in my journal.
我分析了我日记中的情况 I used the Bureau of Study Counsel.
利用学校咨询机构 I learned and studied about the three M's,
学习并研究了关于三个M的知识 the irrational thoughts-
那三种不理智的想法 magnifying,minimizing,making up,catastrophizing.
将事情扩大化 缩小化 编造情景 灾难化 And through cognition,it helped a lot.
通过认知 我得到了很大的帮助 That wasn't enough.
但那远远不够 After the C,I went to the A,the Affect.
学习了C之后 我开始学习A 影响 And the Affect was for me physical exercise.
影响是通过身体锻炼来实现的 You know,even today,this morning,at home,I ran.
直到今天 早上我还跑过步 I exercise because
我锻炼身体是因为… it significantly lowers anyone's levels of anxiety.
它能大大降低我们的焦虑水平 And I can tell a significant difference in my talks
可以说如果我不锻炼身体 我的口才… if I don't exercise.
一定不会像现在这么好 So even three or four weeks ago,David,my son was unwell
甚至在三四周前 我儿子David身体不适 and I had to take him to the doctor first thing Tuesday morning.
周二早上我要先带他去看医生 Didn't have time to exercise.Actually felt it in the lecture.
没有时间锻炼 我那天讲课就感觉到了 I was more nervous,more anxious.Makes a big difference.
我觉得更紧张 更焦虑 明显不一样 As we'll talk about,after break,
像我们开学时讲的一样 it literally has the same effect as taking an anti-anxiety pill.
锻炼的效果基本和吃抗焦虑药效果一样 So exercise was certainly there,work directly on my emotion.
因此锻炼对我的情绪产生直接的影响 Yoga.Helped me tremendously
瑜伽 在我处理焦虑和… in dealing with anxiety and lowering that level.
降低焦虑水平上发挥了很大的作用 So this was the emotional.
这是情感上的 The other thing,music.Relaxing music.
另一样是音乐 放松的音乐 You know my taste in music.I don't need to repeat it again.
你们知道我喜欢什么音乐 就不重复了 So actually when Tammy and I got married,we moved in together.
我和Tammy结婚后 就搬到了一起住 She couldn't believe my collection of CDs.
她简直不相信我收藏什么样的CD She said "you don't look that anxious".
她说"你看起来不像这么容易焦虑的人" Because I had,um,
因为我买的CD是… "The Most Relaxing Classical Music in the World",
"世界上最放松的经典音乐" "Music for Relaxation","Music for Dealing with Anxiety",
"放松音乐" "降低焦虑的音乐" silent quiet music- I mean,a whole shelf of the relax...
全是些安静的音乐 整个架子都是 But they relax me! They really help me.
但它们的确对我有帮助 让我得到放松 And finally,behavior.Introducing behavior.
最后是行为 我介绍一下行为 So it is through exposure.Initially giving a talk.
通过曝光来治疗恐惧 先是做演讲 Because I want to be a teacher.
因为我想当老师 Giving a talk to my squash team.Giving a talk to my family.
我先给壁球队演讲 给我的家人演讲 Places that were safe for me.
反正是在那些我感觉安心的地方 Giving a talk to anyone who would listen.
给任何愿意听的人演讲 Initially small groups and gradually building it up.
从开始的少数人慢慢增加听众数量 Exposure through the imagination.
通过想象来曝光 Once again,
再强调一次 the imaginary thing and over time becoming more confident.
那种想象久而久之会让人变得更自信 Another thing that for me was very significant
另一样对我极具意义的事是 as an undergrad here- speaking up in section.
作为大学生 在课堂上公开发言 I was terrified of speaking up.
我不敢公开发言 And when I decided to do that,I had no doubt in my mind
当我决定那样做 我肯定 that everyone in section could hear my heart beat.
所有人都能听到我的心跳声 Because it was in my head.
因为它就在我脑海中 And yet,gradually,
然而 逐渐地 I spoke up a little bit more and a little bit more,
我慢慢地越来越敢于发言 and then through self-perception theory,
通过自我知觉理论 it actually got better and better and better.
情况变得越来越好 And I still do all these things.
这些事情我一直在坚持做 I still do yoga.I still do exercise regularly.
我还在做瑜伽 定期做运动 I still engage in the CBT approach,the 3 M's.
我还有参加认知行为治疗 I keep a journal,which combines very often all three.
我一直有写日记 内容主要和上述三件事有关 And I listen to relaxing music.And it works.It works.
我还会听放松音乐 很有用 Now change is not easy.It is hard.It takes time.However,
改变并不容易 非常困难 需要很多时间 然而 that doesn't mean that the process itself cannot be enjoyable.
但那并不代表 这过程本身没有乐趣 It's not OK when I've changed then I'll be happy.
并不是说改变了就会快乐 The process itself is extremely,potentially,extremely rewarding
这过程本身就非常值得 Sometimes difficult.Potentially,very rewarding.
有时很困难 但非常值得 The journey as well as the destination.
那旅程本身就跟目的地一样重要 The other important thing to remember about change-
关于改变的另一要点是 this is taken from the work of,
这话引用自一个人的作品 really the person who took the psycho-analysis
她研究精神分析学 and transformed it into a more positive approach- Karen Horney,
并把这门学科提升到了积极层面 Karen Horney who I mentioned before.
我之前提到过她 What she says about neurosis
她认为 神经症精神病 is that neurosis never go away completely.
不可能完全治愈 And when she says neurosis,
她所说的神经症 she means it in the most,in the broadest sense.
是广义上的定义 So for example,if I am a perfectionist,
举个例 如果我是个完美主义者 I'll always have some perfectionism in me.
我心里会有一些完美主义思想 And we'll talk about it after the break.
春假后 我们会谈这问题 If I am prone to anxiety,I'll never be,you know,
如果我有焦虑倾向 我永不会成为… the Dalai Lama,unlikely.It'll always be there.
达赖喇嘛 不可能 因为我永远都会焦虑 And it'll always be potentially triggered by any event.
它随时可能被任何事激发 And she says "that's OK.That's natural.
她说"没关系 那很正常 That's human." And we need to accept it.
这是人之常情"我们要接受它 Because if we don't accept it,
因为如果我们不接受它 then we'll be constantly frustrated.
我们就会一直感到沮丧 Because we want to change completely,
因为我们想完全改变 or expect our partner to change completely.
或是期待我们的伴侣完全改变 Very difficult.Unrealistic.It takes time.It's gradual.
这非常困难 不切实际 需要时间 要循序渐进 We need to also learn.And we can learn to enjoy the process.
我们也需要学习 可以学习享受这过程 Henry David Thoreau,1840s: "I know of no more encouraging fact
19世纪40年代梭罗说过:"我没有看到过 than the unquestionable ability of man
更使人振奋的事实了 to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor.
人类无疑是有能力来有意识地提高他自己的生命的 It is something to be able to paint a particular picture,
能画出某一张画 or to carve a statue,and so to make a few objects beautiful;
雕塑出某一个肖像 美化某几个对象 是很了不起的 but it is far more glorious to carve and paint
但更加荣耀的事是能够塑造或画出 the very atmosphere and medium through which we look,
那种氛围与媒介来 从中能使我们发现 which morally we can do.
而且能使我们正当地有所为 To affect the quality of the day,that is the highest of arts."
能影响当代的本质的 是最高的艺术" Again,it's the process; it's not the outcome that matters more.
再强调一次 重要的是过程而非结果 The outcome will lead to a spike
结果会让人有短暂快乐 but will very quickly to go back to our base level.
但很快就会回归到基础水平 It's the process of actually doing those activities,
是进行这些活动的这个过程… the As,the Bs,and the Cs that will lead to a happier-
事件A B C这些过程让人更快乐 not perfect,not happiest,but happier life.
而并非完美 并非最快乐 而是更快乐地生活 Over time,it takes time to carve out live statue,
需要时间来雕刻出生活的雕像 chipping away the excess stone,
切掉多余的石头 the limitations and building a beautiful life.
破除限制 打造美好的生活 It is not only the highest of art,
这不仅是最高形式的艺术 it is also- I would argue,a high science.
我认为这还是高级的科学 And that is the science of psychology.
那就是心理科学 I want to move on now.Move on and talk about...
现在我继续往下讲 One second.Here we go.
等等 好了 I want to talk about a topic that is related to,
我想探讨一个论题 very much related to the whole change,
关于整个改变… to the whole change process.
关于整个改变过程的论题 And that is goal setting.
那就是设定目标 Now,question for you: how many people here-
现在 我问你们 这里有多少人… put your hand up if this applies to you-
如果你是这样的就举手 do you want to become more efficient and procrastinate less?
你是否想变得更有效率 更少拖延 If it's true for you,put your hand up.
是的话 请举手 One,two,three,four,five,six...OK.
一 二 三 四 五 六…好了 Put your hand up now
现在举起你的手 if you want to experience less stress and be calmer,
如果你希望自己没那么紧张 更冷静 whether it's during an exam period or not.OK.
无论是不是要期末考 好 One,two...OK.
一 二…好 Now if you put your hand up for one of these questions,
如果你举过一次手 you should stay.
就该留下来 If you put up your hand for both questions,
如果你两次都举手 you should not only stay,you should stay awake.
就不仅要留下来 还要打起精神来听 Because what we are going to talk about of
因为我们接下来的两节课 the next two classes is the importance of goals
要谈的是 目标的重要性 and how they can help us deal with stress,
以及目标如何帮我们处理压力 how they can help us deal with procrastination,
如何帮我们处理拖延问题 how we can become more efficient- not perfectly so.
我们如何变得更有效率 不是超级有效率 By the end of the two weeks,
两周之后 you are not going to a well-oiled machine.
你们不会变成上好油的机器 You are just going to be a happier human being-
你们只会变成更快乐的人 just think is a lot.
思考很重要 So first of all,
因此一开始 the topic that we'll talk about under goal setting- first,
我们会探讨目标设定 首先 understand the theory and the practice of goal setting:
理解目标设定的理论及实践 the Ivory tower and the Main Street of it;
它的书本意义及社会意义 second,how do we deal with stress-
第二 我们怎样处理压力 we'll talk about this in the next class;
下节课我们会探讨这个 and finally,I don't think we have time for this,
最后 我想我们没时间谈这问题 but I'm still leaving up the powerpoints there just
但我还是做了课件 so you can look at it,and I elaborate on it in the book.
让你们自己看 我在书里有详尽说明的 Moving from material perception to happiness perception,
从物质观念到幸福观念 which is essentially about what I talked about
基本上是关于我在我的书里 in the last meditation of the book,The Happiness Revolution
第七冥想:幸福革命的章节里谈到的 and the internal revolution that can take place.
以及所发生的内部变革 I know you don't have time for before break,
我知道你们在放假前没多少时间了 but you still have the material on it.
但我还是准备了相关的材料 So let's begin with theory and practice.
我们就从理论和实践开始吧 What I want to do now is convince you,very simply,
我现在想做的仅仅是说服你们 to set goals,convince you that it is important
去设立目标 说服你们这是很重要的 and yet you are going to do it for,your response papers.
你们要在作业上写出来 You have already started doing it,
你们已经开始这么做 but I really want to convince you,as a way of life,
但我真的想让你们明白 作为一种生活方式 setting goals regularly,
应该不断设定目标 whether it's in business,whether in your personal life.
不管是为工作或私生活 First,I'm going to do it by convince,
首先 我会试图说服你们 showing you the research on setting goals
向你们展示关于设定目标及工作表现的研究 and performance and second,setting goals and happiness-
其次就是目标设定与幸福的研究 how it contribute to our success in the conventional currency,
它是如何帮助我们赚取社会财富 as well as in the ultimate currency.
以及终极财富 Quite simply,people who set goals are generally,
非常简单 设定目标的人一般… controlling for other things,more successful.
掌控其他事都比较成功 Why?
为什么? One of the main reasons is because what goals do is they focus us
一个重要的原因是 因为目标能使我们专注 Very often,
通常来说 we are all over the place; we are not sure where we are going.
我们常四处奔波 不知道往哪个方向走 And if we don't know where we are going,
如果我们不知道方向 we are unlikely to get there.And the focus gets us directed.
就不可能到达目的地 而专注能让我们找到方向 It brings forth resources-
这能带来额外的资源 external and internal resources- that are necessary to get there.
外部和内部资源 帮助我们达成目的 Abraham Maslow: "Being focused on a task produces organization
Abraham Maslow说:"专注于一个任务可以… for efficiency both within the organism and in the environment."
在个体及自然环境中提高组织效率" Quite remarkable how goals actually work.
目标的作用非常显著 When we set goals,when we enter something,
我们设定目标时 或向自己灌输某种思想时 whether it's privately but eve better- publicly,
无论是私人的还是公开的 things begin to happen inside us as well as around us.
我们心中或身边都会有些什么变化 Also,goals contribute to performance and well-being
而且 目标对工作表现及幸福感有重大影响 because they strengthen our resilience.
因为目标会让我们更具适应力 Remember the second class when we talked about resilience?
还记得第二节课我们探讨过适应力吗? One of the things that extinguish those kids who were successful,
那些孩子成功的其中一个要素是 despite difficult external circumstances,
排除艰难的外部环境的影响 was the fact that they were resilient,
就是他们的适应性强 and one of the distinguishing characteristics
其中一个显著特征是 was they set goals for themselves.
他们会设定目标 They were future-oriented.
他们是以未来为导向的 Not only thinking about the past,being "learned helpless"-
不但思考过去 没人帮助他们学习 learning to be helpless,but focusing on the future.
学习适应没人帮助的情况 专注于未来 Nietzsche once wrote that if we have a what for,
尼采曾写道 只要我们有目标 every how becomes possible.
一切皆有可能 When we have the what for,every how becomes possible.And
只要我们有目标 一切皆有可能 we are much more likely to overcome difficulties and hardships,
我们更能克服困难 if we have a goal,a mission,something that we care about,
如果我们设定了目标 任务或是我们在意的事 something that we want to attain.
以及我们想实现的事 Goals make us more successful
目标让我们更成功 for the exact same reason that positive beliefs do.
就跟积极信念发挥作用的原因一样 What we are doing with goals with declaring
有目标就代表 that we believe we are going to get something.
我们相信我们会得到某样东西 Roger Bannister declared,
Roger Bannister宣称 said that he would break the 4 minute barrier.
他会打破四分钟的纪录 Thomas Edison said that by the 31 of December,1879,
爱迪生曾说过 到1879年12月31日 he would generate light from electricity.
他会发明出电灯 Setting goals makes it more likely to come true.
设定目标有助于成功 Because our mind does not like when the reason inconsistency
因为我们的思维不喜欢 between what is inside and what is outside.
内部和外部不一致 It wants there to be match.
而希望能相一致 And if I believe in a goal and I declare a goal,
如果我相信一个目标 对外宣告这个目标 the outside is likely to match that.
那外部事物就会趋向于与这目标相一致 Again,not 100 percent correlation as we've discussed,
但正如我们探讨过的 并不会完全一致 but certainly making it much more likely to happen,
但一定更有可能发生 making us much more likely to be successful.
这让我们更容易成功 Now what is the knapsack?
这个背包是什么? Imagine the following: you go on a road trip.
想象一下 你去远足 And you have a knapsack on your back.
你背着一个背包 And you reach a wall,a barrier.
你遇到一道墙 一个障碍物 What do you do? Well,
你会怎么做? there are many things that you can do when you reach that wall.
遇到那道墙时你可以有很多应对方法 And the wall is long and high.
那墙又高又长 One way is to say,"OK,pity" and turn around.
其中一种做法是"太可惜了"然后调头走 In other words,avoid that wall.
也就是说 避开那道墙 Another thing we can do is take out our sledgehammer
另一种方法是 拿出锤子 and try to break it down.
试着把它敲碎 Another thing that we can do before we do any of the other things
还有另一种方法是 is take our knapsack and throw it over the wall.
把背包扔过墙去 Take our knapsack and simply throw it over the wall.
把背包扔过墙去 Why? Because the necessity is the mother of inventions.
为什么?因为必需品是发明创造的源泉 I need my knapsack to continue.I need my knapsack.
我需要背包来继续 需要我的背包 I want it.And now it's over the wall.I have no choice.
我需要它 而现在它在墙的另一边 我别无选择了 But to get over that wall,whether it's by breaking it down,
但要越过这道墙 要么把它敲碎 whether it's by finding a way around it,under it or over it.
要么找一条路绕过它 从下方或是上方 But suddenly,I will come up with solutions
突然间 我会想出几个办法 that I have not seen before and this is how it works.
这些办法都是我之前没想到的 It's remarkable- how it works- for the exact same reason
目标起的作用十分显著 而出于同一个原因 that when you declare a goal such as "I want to buy a computer".
当你宣告一个目标 例如"我想买电脑" Suddenly you see computer ads all around you,
那你就会发现到处都是电脑广告 whereas before you didn't see computer ads.
你以前从没在这些地方看过电脑广告 or let's say you want to buy specific car.
或是说你想买某种车 Suddenly you see that specific car all around you
一时间 你会发现到处是这种车 while you didn't see it before.
你以前从没看过的 Why? Because we co-create our reality
为什么?因为我们一起创造现实 through our questions to a great extent.
通过大胆地提出疑问 Remember the children on the bus were there all along,
还记得一直在车上的那些孩子吗? but you didn't see them until I presented a goal to you
你们没看到他们 直到我设下目标 which was to count the number of children on the bus
让你们数出车上的孩子数量 And then suddenly it was so clear
然后孩子们就变得显而易见 that it was right in front your eyes.
就在你眼前 Before,they didn't exist for you.That's what a goal does.
而之前你们就当他们不存在 这就是目标所起的作用 If I declare that I have to get over the wall,
如果我宣布 我要越过这道墙 and my question is "how do I get over this wall".
我的问题就是"要如何越过这道墙" It's not thinking about "is it possible or is it not possible".
而不是去想"这是否有可能" It's rather "how can I get over this wall".
而是想"我要怎样越过它" This question opens up opportunities,
这个问题开启了无数机会 many of which I have not seen before.
有很多是我之前没发现的机会 Suddenly the children on the bus are right in front of me.
忽然间 车上的孩子就出现在我眼前 Suddenly a hole in the wall is right in front of me.
忽然间 墙上的一个洞出现在我眼前 Suddenly I see a sledgehammer that I didn't see before,
忽然间 我看到了一把之前没看到的锤子 right next to me.
就在我旁边 Necessity is the mother of inventions.
必需品是发明创造的源泉 If we ask the right questions,it opens up opportunities.
如果我们问对了问题 就能开启无数机会 The other thing that's at work here is the power of the word:
另一件起作用的东西是 言语的力量 words create worlds.Let there be light.
言语创造世界 要有光 We've seen it in religion.And there was light.
我们在宗教中看过这典故 上帝说要有光 就有光 Words create the world.
言语创造世界 Book of John: in the beginning was the word.
"约翰福音"中写道:一开始先有言语 But it's not just in religion.Look at this great country.
但不只在宗教里是如此 看看这伟大的国家 The United States was declared into existence.Words have power.
美国被宣布存在 言语有其力量 They have meaning,especially when the words are meaningful to us
它们有某种意义 尤其是当言语对我们意义重大时 when the goals that we declare are meaningful to us,
当我们宣布的目标对我们意义重大时 they are much more likely to come true.
就更有可能实现 The connection between concept and conceive
概念和构想之间的关联 is not just etymological,it is also metaphysical.
不仅是语源的 而且还是形而上学的 It is also real.
这也是真实的 Because when we declare something,when we save something,
因为当我们宣告某事 保留某事 it is much more likely to become a reality.
就更可能成真 What words do is essentially create an image in our minds,
基本上 言语能在我们的脑海里塑造一幅画面 especially when we imagine the goal.
尤其是我们想象目标时 It creates an image in our mind and the mind doesn't know
它在我们脑海中创造一幅画面 而我们并没意识到 the difference between the imaginary and the real.
该想象和现实之间的差距 And the mind wants consistency- that is what goals do.
我们的思维想让两者统一 目标就是这样起作用 They help us create consistency.
它们让我们更容易让两者统一 I want to read you an excerpt that,
现在我念一段摘录 I talk about many of these things in the book so for some of you,
我在书里谈了很多相关的话题 this may be a repetition.
你们可以看看来参考一下 But I want to read you an excerpt from W.H.Murray,
但现在我要念一段Murray的话 who led the Scottish expedition to the Himalayas,
他带领苏格兰探险队前往喜玛拉雅山 one of those prominent,accomplished climbers of all time,
是个成功卓越的登山家 climbed the Everest.
曾登上珠穆朗玛峰 Here's what he says,
他说 in his writing about the expeditions that he took:
关于他的探险旅程 他写道: "Concerning all acts of creation there is one elementary truth,
"在所有创造的过程中 都有一个基本真理 the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
对它的忽视使得无数优秀创意和计划夭折 That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
那就是一个人一旦全身心投入 then providence moves too.
就会触动冥冥中的天意 All sorts of things occur to help one
很多帮助他实现目标的事 that would not have otherwise occurred.
若非这样也不会发生 A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
这样的决定会带来一系列事件 raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents
各种意料之外 对他有所帮助的事件 and meetings and material assistance
人和事物 which no man would have dreamed would come his way.
这完全是他之前没有想到的 I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:
从歌德的诗文中我有深刻体会: 'Whatever you can do,or dream you can,begin it!'
'无论你能做什么或梦想什么 去做吧' Boldness has genius,magic,and power in it."
勇敢带来智慧 魔力和力量" Why it works,how it works- we are not really sure,but it works.
它为什么会起作用 如何起作用 我们不确定 反正就有用 Just like when you declare you are looking for computer,
就像是如果你说要买电脑 suddenly you see all these opportunities,
就会看到很多机会 the same with commitments.
投入也是同样的道理 When we commit,things begin to happen.
我们投入了 很多事就会接踵而来 We begin to identify external resources
我们开始发现外部资源 as well as internal resources.
以及内部资源 Things that we didn't see before.
会发现之前没看到的东西 Because my question becomes "how can I succeed".
因为我的问题变成了"我怎样能成功" And then children on the bus
然后车上的孩子 or the time on the clock suddenly become visible to us.
或时钟的时间忽然变得清晰可见 And we are able to succeed...
我们有能力成功 Much more likely to succeed than before.Words create worlds.
比以前更有可能成功 言语创造世界 So this is about success.Very well documented.
所以这与成功息息相关 书上有写 Some of your readings are related to this.
你们的一些阅读材料与之相关 People who set goals generally,controlling from other factors,
从整体上设定目标 且从其他方面实现目标的人 are more successful,whether it's in business,
更成功 无论是工作方面 whether it's in other personal lives.Goals matter.
还是个人生活方面 目标至关重要 They don't just matter though for the "hard currency".
他们不仅对"硬通货"重要 They also matter for the "ultimate currency"-
对"终极财富"也很重要 the currency of happiness.
也就是幸福 Goals properly understood,
被正确理解的目标 goals properly understood,lead to happiness.
被正确理解的目标会让人幸福 And I emphasize "properly understood".
这里我强调"被正确理解" Why? Because we know that attaining goals,
为什么?因为我们知道实现目标 the attainment of goals does not in
实现目标本身 and of itself lead to happiness.
并不会带来幸福 Yes,getting tenure will lead to a spike of my well being,
没错 得到职位我会有短暂的幸福 but very quickly I'll go back to my base level.
但很快我就会回归基础水平 Winning a lottery or making a lot of money,or getting a,
中了彩票或是赚大钱或… or getting promoted at work will lead to a spike in my well being
升职 都会让我短暂地感到快乐 but it will not lead to long lasting happiness.
但不会带来长期的持续的幸福 So that's temporary- we know that.
我们知道那是短暂的快乐 So we know that attainment of goals does not lead to happiness.
因此我们知道实现目标不会带来幸福 What does lead to happiness?
那什么能带来幸福? Understanding the proper role of goals.
充分理解目标的正确作用 And understanding that
要明白到 it's not the attaining of a goal that leads to happiness,
不是实现目标带来幸福 but the having of a goal that leads to happiness.
而是拥有目标让人幸福 So two years ago,when I taught positive psychology,
两年前 我教积极心理学 a book came out by very important scholar
一个非常重要的学者出了本书 in the area of happiness,who's the Dalai Lama's right hand man.
关于幸福的书 他是达赖喇嘛的左右手 He's translator,Ricardo Matthieu.
他就是翻译家Ricardo Matthieu Wonderful book on happiness came out.
推出一本关于幸福的好书 And we,in Williams James Hall 1,engaged in a debate-
我们在Williams James大楼展开了一场辩论 was an event for Harvard students and faculty.
那是一次哈佛学生和全体教职员的全体活动 And we engaged in a debate- "Happiness: East and West".
我们参与了辩论 题为"幸福:东方与西方" And we agreed on many things-
我们很多意见不谋而合 as you know,I meditate regularly,
你们知道 我经常冥想 and certainly believe
我当然非常认同 in the power of a lot of the Buddhist psychology.
佛教心理学的力量 However,the one thing that we disagreed on was goals.
然而 我们对目标的意见不一致 That's the one thing we disagree.
我们意见有分歧 Because in Buddhism,according to many of the interpretations-
因为在佛教方面 根据很多说法 not all,many of the interpretations,
不是全部 但很多说法认为 the state we want to reach is a state of non-attachment.
我们想实现的状态是身外无物 A state where we will not have something external that we want,
那个状态中 我们不会想要拥有身外之物 that we desire,
渴望的东西 that we will be completely present in the here and now.
也不会有现在的这个课程 Now I think it's a wonderful ideal perhaps,
我想或许那是个非常理想的状态 but what I argued and what I still argue is that it's unrealistic
但我一直认为 那是不现实的 As human beings,I do not believe-
作为人类 我不认为 maybe after 30 years of meditating for 8 hours a day, possible-
经过30年来每天八小时的冥想 but I do not believe that we can reach a state
我不相信我们能实现那种 where we are not attached.
身外无物的状态 And setting goals is an example of attachment.Because
设定目标是与外界关联的一个例子 因为 when I say I want to win this championship or I want to get an A-
当我说想赢这场比赛 或我想这门课考试优秀 in this course or I want to get a job in this bank,
或我想在银行找份工作 this is a goal which means by definition
这些就是确切的目标 that I'm attached to the outcome.
让我与结果联系起来 If I wasn't attached,if I didn't care then,it wouldn't matter.
如果我没与结果联系起来 我就不会在乎 它就不重要 And I think it's not only important for success,
我觉得这不仅对成功很重要 it is also important for happiness.
对幸福也很重要 So that's where I differ to a great extent
因此我不能认同 from some of the Buddhist interpretations
佛教的说法 on non-attachment of being in a desire-less state.
他们认为身外无物是种无欲无求的状态 However,where we are similar in our understanding
然而我们有着相似的看法 is the focus on the present.
专注于当下 Goals properly understood their role
被正确理解的目标的作用是 is to liberate us to enjoy the present.
解放我们 让我们享受当下 What does this mean? Let's say you go off on a road trip.
这意味着什么?例如你去远足 And you have no idea where you are going.
你不知道自己要去哪 You don't have a goal.You don't have a destination in mind.
你没目标 心中没有方向 You are less likely rather than more likely,
你就不大可能 less likely to enjoy the journey.
不大可能享受旅程 Because every minute you'll look left or right or ahead
因为每分钟你都在左顾右盼 to see if you are not falling over the stage;
不知道是否错过什么 whereas if you know where you are going,
如果你知道要去哪 you have a sense of direction.
你有方向感 You are liberated.
你就被解放了 You are much more likely to enjoy the process,
你就更可能享受旅程 the flower on the side as well.
才可以欣赏到路边的鲜花 Think about your lives- periods that you have no idea,
想想你们的生活 有些时期里不知道何去何从 or for many of you,I know,it's happening right now.
对你们很多人来说 此刻就是这样 You have no idea where you are going next year.
你不知道明年会去哪 Now for a while,for most people,it's OK.It's fine.
目前对大多数人来说 还是没关系 But after a while,you want to know where you are going.
但一阵子后 你想知道要去哪里 Because when you are immersed in something,
因为当你专注于某事 you have a clearer sense of direction.
你就会有更清晰的方向感 You are much more likely to be happy,
你更容易开心 which explains why so many people,when they retire,
这就能解释 为什么很多人退休后 become less happy,
变得不大开心 even though they've been dreaming of being retired for many years
尽管他们多年来一直期待着退休 When they actually retire,they become less happy.
到他们真的退休后 就变得闷闷不乐 The ones who are happier when they retire are the ones
那些退休后更开心的人 who actually set goals for themselves,
为自己设定了目标 whether it's taking a class,whether it's learning something new,
或是上一门课 或是学新知识 whether it's spending more time with family and friends,
或是和亲人朋友相处更久 but they have a goal,
他们都有一个目标 as opposed to "let's just enjoy ourselves; let's just be".
而不是"让我们享受生活吧 顺其自然" We need that goal- this outcome,this future orientation,
我们需要目标 结果 未来的导向 so that we can enjoy the present more.
那样我们就能更享受此刻 The goals liberate us to enjoy the here and now.
目标让我们得到解放 才能享受当下 In other words,
换言之 if you think about it,the role of goals is actually means.
如果你仔细想想 目标是一种手段 They are means toward an end,
它们是达到结果的一种手段 and the end are the present experiences.
结果就是当下的体验 Again,the goals in themselves,
再次强调 目标本身 as we said,as we discussed,will not make us happier,
如我们所说的 并不能让我们感到更幸福 whether attaining of the goal or failing to attain the goal.
无论我们是否能实现这目标 We'll be on the ups and downs,the vicissitudes.
我们会经历人生起伏 But if we want the base level- the base level is the here and now
但如果我们想要基础水平 此刻就是了 The present.It's the process.
当下 就是这过程 It's the journey that we're living mostly,not the outcome.
是我们正经历着的旅程 而不是结果 When I start the book,
在书中一开始的地方 I talk about thinking this rally championship would make me happy
我谈及 冠军赛会让我开心 And it did.For 4 hours.And then back again to base level.
的确让我开心了四小时 但之后我又回到基础水平 Professors who get tenures think that is
获得终身职位的教授以为 what would make them happy for the rest of their lives-
这事会让他们余生都快乐 the attainment of that goal.
那个目标的实现 It doesn't.
其实不然 They go back to base level of happiness,
他们回到了幸福的基础水平 whether they get it,or don't get it.
无论他们是否实现了这个目标 The key is to learn,to enjoy the process.
关键是学习 享受这个过程 And one of the roles of the goals is to liberate us
目标的其中一个作用是解放我们 so that we can enjoy the process.
那样我们就能享受这个过程 Goals are means toward the present end,
目标是获得结果的手段 which is taking a lot of goal theory and turning it around.
这与许多目标理论背道而驰 This explains why so many high achievers are unhappy.
这解释了为什么如此多的成功者不快乐 This explains why so many high achievers
这也解释了为什么如此多的成功者 turn to drugs and to alcohol.
沉沦于药品及酒精 By the way,today even more so than in the past-
如今这样的人比以前更多 maybe today we know about it more than in the past.
也许是如今我们了解得更多 Going into rehab centers constantly.
他们常进心理治疗中心 Coming out and going back.
那样进进出出 And we ask ourselves,"why? How could it be?"
我们问"为什么会这样?" Those people who seemingly have it all.
表面上看那些人似乎已得到一切 Who seemingly have it all.
似乎已得到一切 Fame.Fortune.Beauty.Anyone they want.
名声 财富 美人 他们想要的任何人 The life that most people in the world dream about.
大部分人梦寐以求的生活 How come they end up in a rehab center?
为什么他们最后还要进心理治疗中心? How come they are unhappy? Here's the how come.
为什么会不开心?现在就来说说原因 You see,for years,when they climb up the ranks,
多年来 他们不断努力向上 when they have the dream of becoming a famous person,
他们心怀梦想 希望成为名人 a person who is admired,revered,
渴望得到别人的尊敬 a person who can get anything or anyone almost they want,
渴望得到一切想要的东西或人 when they dream about it,they may be unhappy.
当他们梦想这些的时候 他们可能是不开心 But they say to themselves,
但他们对自己说 "OK.I'm unhappy now,but I'll be happy when I get there."
"好吧 我现在不开心 但我成功后会很开心" And then they get there.
然后他们成功了 And they realize that there's no "there" there.
他们意识到并没有料想中的开心 They think it would make them happy,but it doesn't.
他们以为那会让他们开心 但没有 And that's when the real problems begin.
那时真正的问题才到来 Because that's when they begin to experience helplessness.
因为到那时他们才开始体会到无助 That's when they become resigned.
那时他们就会放弃 That's when they go into- on the Hamburger model,
那时他们就变得…根据Hamburger的模型 that's when they go into the learned helplessness
他们会患上习得性无助 and resignation and the nihilism.
自我放弃和怀疑主义 Because everyone has told them
因为大家都跟他们说 that once they make it then they'll be happy.
他们实现了这事就会快乐 And they told themselves,"once I make it then I'll be happy".
而他们也对自己说过"一实现了这事 就会快乐" And they are not any happier for it.
但他们并不为此而更快乐 Yeah,initially when the fame begins,
一开始 当刚开始有点名气 and when they start having things in their way
他们刚开始走上成功之路 as they always dream,of course they are happier.
他们常常梦想成功 当然就会快乐一点 But then they go back to their base level.
但之后他们又回到基础水平 And when they go to their base level,they are suppressed,
当回到基础水平 他们很压抑 they are upset,they are disappointed,
很沮丧 失望 and more than anything,they are scared.
更甚的是 他们很害怕 Because what now? Until that point,
因为不知道怎么办好 但在那之前 they were sustained by their hope that when they get there,
他们以一种希望支撑着 想着成功后 they'll be happy,but they are not happier.
他们会很快乐 但他们并没有更快乐 And they are scared.And they are lost.
他们很害怕 很迷茫 And they look for solutions,
他们想寻找解决方法 very often outside of the normal experiences,
通常就会脱离正常经验 outside of ordinary life.
脱离常规生活 And where is that? That very often is with drugs and with alcohol
那有什么解决方法呢? 常常就是药品和酒精 Because that takes us out of our normal day-to-day,
因为那让我们远离枯燥乏味的… ordinary lives.For good and ill.
日常生活 无论是好的或坏的 This misunderstanding prevalent and most people live that way.
这种错误的想法非常普遍 大部分人都如此 And they think- and this is why
他们认为…这就是为什么 so many people go through mid-life crisis for example.
这么多人会经历中年危机 It's not the only reason.But it's one of the reasons.
这不是唯一的原因 却是其中一个原因 Because there are many people who are pretty accomplished,
因为有很多非常成功的人 who have nailed it,and then they say,
他们成功后会说 "what now? Is this all the raise to it?"
"那现在怎么办?这就是它带来的快乐吗?" Yes,this is all the raise to it.And the challenge
是的 它就只能带来这么多快乐 而面临的难题是 is to identify the treasure of happiness that are embedded,
去找出埋藏起来的幸福宝藏 that are there in the it and that are there all around us.
它就在我们身边 Again,happiness is not contingent on our status
幸福并不在于我们的地位 or the state of our bank account.
或银行存款的多少 It's contingent on our state of mind,
它与我们的思维状态有关 of how we interpret our reality,of on what we choose to focus on
就视乎我们如何看待自己的现状 以及我们专注于何事 And to be happier is the present that matters much more.
想变得更快乐 当下更重要 Quote from my book:
引用我书中的话: "Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain,
"幸福并不是登上山峰 nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain;
也不是在山的四周没有方向地乱爬 happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak."
幸福是向山峰攀登的过程" It is about having a goal.
它与设定目标有关 It is about having a destination in mind,
与设定一个终点有关 and then letting go and enjoying the process.
然后就释放自己 享受过程 You know there are many people who talk to me about it,
有很多人和我谈过这问题 and again I went through the exact same experience.
每次我都会经历同样的情况 So OK "what is going to be the next job that I take?"
"接下来我要做什么工作呢?" "What is going to be the path that I take?"
"我该走哪一条路呢?" And once they take a path,it is very often they regret,
当他们选了一条路 通常都会后悔 "I should've taken the other path." Should've taken this job.
"我应该走另一条路"应该接这一份工作 Should've gone there.And my response to it is it doesn't matter.
不该去那里 我的回答通常是 这并不重要 It doesn't,in the ultimate currency,it doesn't matter.
对终极财富来说 并不重要 Because,yeah,let's say I am at a job that I should have taken
因为如果我接了一份应该做的工作 and I would be very successful there.Fine.
我会非常成功 I would enjoy a high when I became very successful.
当我非常成功 我会很开心 But that in and of itself would not make me happy.
但那件事并不会让我开心 The key is to have the goal.
关键是设定目标 The key is to have the commitment
关键是自身的投入 to whatever it is that I'm doing.
对正在做的事的投入 Now that commitment may change every three days and that's OK.
就算那种投入每三天变一次也没关系 It's the having the goals,having that commitment that Nmatters.
设定目标 全心投入才是最重要的 So if you chose certain path and now you regret it,
如果你选择某条路 却又后悔了 remember,it really doesn't matter.
记住 这不重要的 You can be as happy in both paths as long as you are committed.
走哪条路你都可以开心的 只要你投入了 Because when we are committed,
因为当我们投入其中 that's when we can enjoy the journey.
就能享受这旅程 Doesn't matter as much what it is that we are committed to,
而我们投入于何事并不重要 provided of course that is moral
当然必须是道德的事 and it's not about hurting others,
不能伤害他人 which ultimately doesn't just hurt others-
因为那样的话 最终不但会伤害他人 it also hurts ourselves.
也会伤害到我们自己 David Watson in "The Handbook of Positive Psychology":
David Watson在"积极心理学手册"里说 "Contemporary researchers emphasize
"当代研究学者强调 that it is the process of striving after goals—
追寻目标的过程 rather than goal attainment per se—
而不是目标的实现 that is crucial for happiness and positive affectivity."
才是实现幸福的关键" And finally,two of the leading researchers in the field,
该领域的主要研究学者 David Myers and Ed Diener: "Happiness grows less
David Myers和Ed Diener说:"幸福感… from the passive experience of desirable circumstances
在理想情况下的消极体验中的增长 than from involvement in valued activities
比在有价值的活动 and progress toward one goal."
以及实现目标的过程中的增长要少" Here is a beautiful poem
这有一首优美的诗 that I think captures by Gwendolyn Brooks:
由Gwendolyn Brooks所写的: "Live not for battles won / Live not for the-end-of-the-song
"不为胜利而活 不为曲终而活 / Live for the along." It's not any goals that matter.
为美好过程而活"任何目标都并不重要 It's not any goals that...Not all goals are created equal.
并不是所有目标都一样 And here's what we do get to a place
就我们当下所处的境况来说 where it's important to think about your goals.
思考你的目标非常重要 Yes,the commitment is the most important,
没错 投入是最重要的 but there are certain goals that are better than others:
但有某些目标是比其他更好的 self-concordant goals,very briefly,
简单地说 自我和谐的目标 because -it's in your readings- are essentially goals that
在你们的阅读材料里有写 是最根本的目标 are aligned with your personal interests and values-
和你的个人兴趣和价值观 things that you care about.
还有你在乎的东西相融合 Doing things that are important to you.
做对你来说重要的事 So for example,doing premed because
举个例 就读医学预科 是因为 what you really really want to be is a doctor and treat people.
你想要当医生 救死扶伤 Studying economics because the market fascinates you.
学习经济学是因为市场让你着迷 And you want to engage in work that relates to it.
你想做与之有关的工作 You are passionate about it.
你对它充满了激情 Joining a student organization,
参加学生组织 because you believe in their mission.
是因为你认同他们的使命 Aligned with your personal interests,
融合你的个人兴趣 with your values,with your passion.
和你的价值观 热诚 These are goals that you choose freely,
这些目标是你自由选择的 not goals that are imposed from the outside
而不是由外界所强加的 whether it's by someone specific or specific people,
不是由某个特定的人 or by abstract society.
或抽象意义上的社会所强加在你身上 And doing it out of a sense of obligation or duty.
不是因为义务或责任而做 It's to do things that you care about deeply from within.
而是去做你内心深处最在意的事 In other words,these are things that you want to do,
换句话说 这些是你想做的事 or that you feel,that you perceive that you want to do,
或是你感到 察觉到自己想做的事 rather than things that you have to do.
而不是你不得不做的事 My teacher Ohad Kamin,when I graduated from college,
我的老师Ohad Kamin 在我大学毕业时 and I was debating- I didn't know which direction to go,
我不知道何去何从 said to me the following- he said:
而我的老师给我说了这话: "here is the advice from a 50 year old." - He was 50 at the time.
"这是一个50岁的人给你的建议"他当时50岁 He said,"Identify the things that you can do.
他说"找出你能做的事 And then out of those,identify the things that you want to do.
然后再从中找出你想做的事 And list them down.
把它们一一写下来 Make a list- long or short,whatever it is.
写张清单 长短都无所谓 Now out of the things you want to do,
接着从你想做的事中 identify those things that you really want to do.
找出你最想做的事 And then look at them,and out of those things,identify those
看着这些 从中找出… that you really really want to do and then do them."
你最最想做的事 然后就做那些事" One of the best advices that I got.
那是我得到过的最好的建议 Very simple.But so important.
非常简单 但非常重要 Again it's to take time aside and to think about those things.
这需要花点时间 认真想想这些事 So what are my self-concordant goals? What is the interest of me?
那我的自我和谐目标是什么呢?我的兴趣是什么? What is valuable to me? What am I passionate about?
什么对我最具价值?我对什么有激情? What do I want to rather than feel that I have to do?
我想做什么 而不是我得做什么 And sometimes the answers are not easy answers.
有时答案并不简单 Sometimes the answers are not answers that I want to hear.
有时答案并不中听 And the implications,the ? that are following
而其中的含义… that path may not be as pleasant initially,
接下来的路可能没有最初的好走 because it made me going against the grain.
因为它越来越崎岖不平 It made me doing something that
它让我去做一些困难的事情 yields difficulties from other people or from the environment.
别人或环境所造成的困难 It may not be the most popular choice.
可能不是最受欢迎的选择 One of the things that I talk about in the book –
我在书里谈到的一个问题是 I think it's such an important component of happiness,
我认为幸福的重要组成部分 is spirituality.
是精神性 Now the dictionary definition of spirituality is-
字典对精神性的定义是 one of the definitions
其中一个定义是 is the real sense of significance of something.
对有重大意义的事情的感知 So if I see something as significant,as important,
因此如果我发现一些极具意义 极其重要的东西 as meaningful,I'm having a spiritual experience engaging in it.
意义非凡的 我就对它有种精神性体验 So what is significant to me? What is important to me?
那什么对我意义重大呢?什么对我重要? And the thing to keep in mind is that
要记住 it doesn't matter what I choose,what direction I go in.
选择什么 往哪个方向走并不重要 If I choose something that is self-concordant,
如果我选择的东西是自我和谐的 that is aligned with my personal goals and mission,
和我个人的目标和使命相符合 I will lead a spiritual life.
我就会过上精神性生活 In fact,an investment banker
事实上 一个投资银行家 who goes into investment banking for the right reasons,
从事投资银行业的最合适理由 because he/she cares about this work.
是因为他或她在乎这工作 Because they think it's important,because they enjoy it.
因为他们认为这是重要的 因为他们乐在其中 Because they love dealing with numbers
因为他们喜欢和数字打交道 and having the adrenaline rush.
喜欢那种刺激感 And yes,they are people who truly enjoy it.
没错 他们真的享受这工作 If they go in for the right reasons,
如果他们是因合适的理由而去做这份工作 they will lead a much more spiritual life than a monk
那他们就会比一个… who goes into the order for the wrong reasons.
不虔诚的僧人有更好的精神生活 And of course,vice versa.
当然 反之亦然 Whatever we choose,the self-concordant goals-
无论我们选择什么 自我和谐目标 and I truly believe it,
我真的相信 that the world will become a better place,
世界会变得更美好 not just individualized will become a better place,
不仅是个别地方会变得更美好 if people pursue their passions,their self-concordant goals.
如果人们追求他们的热情所在 他们的自我和谐目标 Easier said than done.
说比做容易 "Becoming self concordant is a difficult skill,
"实现自我和谐是非常困难的 requiring both accurate self-perceptual abilities
要求精确的自我知觉能力 and the ability to resist social pressures
还有抵抗社会压力的能力 that may sometimes push one in inappropriate directions."
那种压力有时会把人迫往错误的方向" And we need to engage in these activities.
我们要参与到这些活动当中 Why? Because life is short.Life is short.Life is...Sorry.
为什么?因为人生苦短 人生…抱歉 "Life is too short to do what I have to do;
"人生短得完成不了我必须做的事 it's barely long enough to do what I want to do."
人生的长度仅够我完成我想做的事" The sooner we start on the want-to,the better.
越早开始我们想做的事越好 This does not mean that you can't say to yourself like,
这不代表你不能对自己说 "well my real passion is starting my own business.
"我最想的就是自己做生意 And in order to get the foundation,I will work as a consultant
为了筹集资金 我会先当顾问 or an investment banker for two years." Nothing wrong with that.
或是投资银行家两年"这么说没问题 Perfectly fine.
非常好 Even though it's not your passion working 80 hours a week
就算你的兴趣不是一周工作80小时 in front of an Excel sheet.That's OK.
处理些电子文档 也没关系 Sometimes we need to delay gratification.
有时我们需要延迟满足 The danger is that
危险在于 we enter this delayed gratification state for our entire lives.
我们的整个人生常处于这种延迟满足的状态 And that becomes the red-race (?) path.
那就成了一条糟糕的路 And that is what we need to be aware of.
这是我们要意识到的 This is what we need to keep in back of our mind.
我们需要记住的 I want to show you a quick video excerpt
我想为你们展示一个视频选段 from one of my favorite movies,Dead Poet Society,
选自我最喜欢的一部电影《死亡诗社》 where Robin Williams talks about the importance of identifying
Robin Williams谈及 what it is that we were meant to do with our lives,
定义我们想做的事的重要性 in other words,our self-concordant goals.
换言之 就是我们的自我和谐目标 (Video clips from Dead Poet Society with captions on the screen)
(死亡诗社电影片段) Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:So carpe diem (seize the day).Do what you want.
那么抓紧时间 做你想做的事吧