今天是最后一篇德布斯的小说 So today we turn to the last of the Andre Dubus' short stories
这是我们课程内容之一 that are part of our course material,
一直是我们讨论话题的一部分 part of our ongoing conversation.
这是相关联的四篇小说中的最后一篇 This is the last of the four connected stories
这四篇构成了一部中篇小说 that form a kind of novella themselves.
故事的主角 They focus on the characters
是特德和卢安 of Ted Briggs and LuAnn Arceneaux.
这篇故事探讨的一些主题 This particular story is trying to think through some themes
我们都提到过 that we've already mentioned.
我先撇开这篇故事 Let me step back a little bit from the story first
来说一下 to say something about
这些主题是怎样进入我们课程的 how these themes have entered into the course.
有一个关注的焦点 One of the anxieties
似乎处于柏拉图《会饮篇》的核心 that seem to be at the heart of Plato's Symposium,
某种角度而言《费德鲁斯篇》也一样 in some ways also Plato's Phaedrus,
那就是爱或者恋爱 was an anxiety about how love or falling in love,
或者说浪漫的情爱 about romantic love or erotic love,
跟我们的肉体之间是什么关系 is related to our nature as embodied beings.
不管天使恋爱是什么样 Whatever it would be like for angels to fall in love,
对人类而言 我们是有身体的 for human beings, the fact of our bodies,
有肉体的吸引即性吸引 of bodily attraction, of sexuality,
与此密不可分的 that fact has to be integrated into
是我们如何认识爱是什么 爱可以怎样 our sense of what love is, of what love can be.
《会饮篇》中的演讲者 The speakers in the Symposium
向我们揭示或透露一种认识 reveal, perhaps sometimes betray us an anxiety
他们口中的情爱吸引 about the fact of erotic attraction
仿佛是与肉体不相干的 in the way it's driven through the body.
在《费德鲁斯篇》中 So that in the Phaedrus,
费德鲁斯藏在口袋的吕西亚斯的演讲 the speech of Lysias that Phaedrus has in its pocket,
讲的是没有爱的人 makes a case for the non-lover,
这种人不会受到情爱吸引 for somebody who's not erotically inclined.
苏格拉底改编了这个演讲 Socrates in his reformulation of that speech,
告诉我们那个演讲是个谎言 reveals to us that that speech itself is a lie,
只是托词 it's a cover story,
因为自称不爱你的人实际是爱你的 because the non-lover is in fact a lover,
受着强烈的情爱吸引 somebody in the throws of erotic attraction.
因此关于所谓无爱之人的演讲 So that the speech of the so-called non-lover
没有能够认识到 is a speech that fails to recognize
有性的爱也是深刻和忠诚的 the depth and the honesty of sexual attraction.
苏格拉底否定了那种 Socrates repudiates this way
对情爱吸引的论断 of responding to erotic attraction
在车夫演讲中 and in the charioteer speech,
他试图 he makes an attempt
论述爱 论述恋爱 to give an account of love, of falling in love
正确认识情爱吸引 that does justice to erotic attraction.
《会饮篇》中 In the Symposium,
前两个演讲者费德鲁斯和包萨尼亚 the first two speakers Phaedrus and Pausanias,
都做了关于情爱的演讲 both give an account of erotic love.
费德鲁斯代表被爱之人 Phaedrus on behalf of the beloved,
包萨尼亚代表爱别人的人 and Pausanias, on behalf of the lover,
两人都对情爱作了论述 both give an account of erotic love
但似乎都只字不提 that seems to squeeze out of it all
性在情爱吸引中地位 of the sexual nature of erotic attraction,
仿佛面对我们身上特别的火花 as if they don't trust themselves to love honestly
他们不相信自己能诚实地爱 in the face of the kinda special spark
这火花就是我们的肉体 that our physicality, that our incarnation
在恋爱时所释放的 gives to our falling in love.
包萨尼亚说了很有意思的话 Pausanias says something very interesting
我觉得也不过是托词 and I think also very much a cover story,
为了能自然地在演讲中谈论性 very much a way of making sex OK for himself in his speech
他说每个行为本身 when he says that every action
并没有好坏之分 is neither good nor bad in itself;
一个行为是好是坏完全取决于 it's goodness or its badness depends completely
我用我的话转述 this is my language, not his
取决于我们行为时所带的意图 on the intentions with which we engage in that action.
他在酒会上做演讲 He says things like say giving speeches in the Symposium
就像我们正在做的事 like what we are doing right now
他说那些行为是好是坏都有可能 those actions can be either good or bad
都取决于做这些事的目的 it all depends what intensions they are done with.
接着包萨尼亚应用了这一原则 And Pausanias then applies this general principle
说我们身体的行为本身 that somehow our bodily actions themselves
不带有任何内涵或意义 don't carry with them any significance or meaning.
它们只是空车 They are empty vehicles.
我们把意义放进去它们才有意义 They get their meaning only because we put meaning in
这意义来自我们心灵的这一面 from sort to speak the psychic side of our lives,
来自灵魂的这一部分 the soul part of us,
这意义不是来自肉体的一面 bears the meaning not, not the bodily side.
他又把这运用到了性关系上 He applies this then to sexual relationships.
他指出通过性表达爱是好还是坏 He suggests that the sexual expression of love is good or bad
要看两个人真正的关系 based on the true thing
这种肉体的表达不是真的 and that bodily expression isn't the real thing.
真正的东西是两人心灵的关系 The real thing is the psychic connection between two people.
因此真正的交流是灵魂的交流 So that real intercourse is between souls.
肉体只是顺便搭载灵魂的 Bodies just happen to be along for the ride.
因此在包萨尼亚对真正的情爱关系的认识中 So on Pausanias' picture of authentically erotic relationship,
肉体的组成部分消失了 the erotic component itself disappears.
他告诉我们 It turns out that
真正的情爱关系 the truly erotic, the authentically erotic relationship
是教诲 传授的关系 is a relationship of pedagogy, of teaching,
给予爱的人把知识传授给所爱之人 of the lover teaching the beloved,
开启所爱之人的德性人生 initiating the beloved into a life of virtue.
性是空的 The emptiness of sexuality,
不过是一辆空车 the fact that it's a blank vehicle
人们要用意义去装满 that must be filled with meaning
这个观点在后来的演讲中饱受压力 comes under increasing pressure as the dialogue goes along.
这个问题在现代社会 One of the ways in the modern world
受到挑战的表现之一 that this question is becoming pressing
就是避孕措施的使用 is in practices of contraception.
关于避孕 天主教教义一直强调 The Catholic teaching about contraception has consistently
性行为本身就是充满意义的 said that sexual intercourse itself already is full of meaning.
它不是一辆空车 It is not an empty vehicle
不会让你根据意愿 that can be filled with better or worse meanings
装上或好或坏的意义 depending on your intensions.
它自身就是有意义的 It bears a certain kind of meaning already,
是一种身体的语言 a kind of language of the body,
仿佛性行为生来 as if sexual intercourse
就已经有了自己的阐释 already bears with it an interpretation.
因此这是对包萨尼亚观点的否定 So it's a kind of denial of Pausanias' strategy
反对他控制我们情爱中的性 for controlling what's erotic in our lives.
身体自身究竟是意义的来源 This question of whether the body itself if a source of meaning
还是仅仅是一辆空车 or whether itself is an empty vehicle
这个问题涉及关于性的话题的核心 goes to the heart of certain kinds of questions about sexuality.
安德鲁·德布斯在这篇小说《雪外》中 The way that Andre Dubus in the story Out of the Snow
思考了这一系列 thinks his way down into this set of questions
关于肉体和意义的问题 about the body and meaningfulness
思考是通过圣事进行的 is through the notion of a sacrament.
故事中有一个震撼的部分 In a particularly striking section of the story,
卢安在思考自己的经历 he has LuAnn reflecting on her experience now
不是作为一个爱人 而是一个母亲 not primarily as a lover, but as a mother.
这是在第181页上面 This is at the top of page 181.
她在一家小卖部 She's at a grocery store.
在买食物 She's buying food
给孩子丈夫做饭 to make dinner for her children and her husband.
她的沉思就是关于买东西这事 Here's her reflection as she thinks about this activity,
表面上看起来再平常不过的事 this apparently completely mundane activity
就是在小卖部买东西 of being at the grocery store.
这会儿 她在挑吃的 "Now that she was gathering food
给茱莉亚 伊丽莎白 还有山姆 for Julia and Elizabeth and Sam, too..."
这些是她的孩子们 That is her children.
她在店里想 "... she saw it in the store as something
这些东西将变成孩子们身上的肉 that would become her children's flesh.
还是姑娘的时候 她学过 As a girl, she had learned about
天主教的七项圣事 the seven sacraments of the Catholic church,
只有一项不是牧师主持的 all of them but one administered by a priest;
即男女双方 the woman and man
献出自己的婚配圣事 gave each other the sacrament of matrimony."
当然德布斯这里所讲的 Of course what Dubus is reporting there
或者说卢安所沉思的 or what LuAnn's reflecting on
是天主教的一个观念 is the Catholic church's notion that
婚配圣事有公共的一面 there's a public part of the sacrament of marriage,
就是在婚礼上交换誓言 the giving of the vows at the wedding,
但圣事到此还没结束 but that the sacrament is not completed
还要男女双方作为配偶做爱 until the man and woman make love as spouses
因此做爱这个行为 so that the action of making love,
也就是性交这个行为 the sexual intercourse itself
是通过身体去表现 is the physical expression
口头表达过的誓言 of the verbal expression of the vows.
可见卢安所沉思的是一个天主教观点 So this is a reflection of the Catholic view
性行为生来就是有意义的 of the intrinsic meaningfulness of sexual intercourse.
它不只是一辆空车 It's not just a vehicle
等待人们装进不同的意义 that can be filled with different meanings.
它自身就装着意义 It sort to speak carries its significance with it.
所以通过性去表达爱 So that to express one's love sexually
且不论这种爱是否忠诚 can be more or less honest,
总之其本身就是有意义的 but the meaning is already there.
接着卢安说 And then he has this sentence,
做了母亲后她才知道 "Being a mother had taught her
圣事是她的工作 that sacraments were her work,
而且将一直做下去 and their number was infinite."
在所有圣事中 Among the sacraments
德布斯最喜欢的是烟和酒 and perhaps Dubus's favorites are smoking and drinking.
母亲的经历让卢安知道 Her experience as a mother teaches LuAnn that
生命中肉体的一面本身就有意义 the physicality of life is itself what's meaningful.
给孩子准备吃的就充满意义 It's meaningful to give your children food.
给孩子准备食物之所以有意义 It's not meaningful to give your children food
不只是因为可以在精神层面 only because of some more spiritual, more psychological,
从灵魂的角度去阐述其意义 more soulful interpretation of that action.
你的孩子不是灵魂 Your children are not souls
不是恰巧找了个身体出现在你身边 who just happen to be driving around in bodies.
他们的肉身也是真真切切的 Their bodies are as real as anything could be;
而肉身被赋予灵魂 赋予生命 their bodies are ensouled; they are animate.
因此给孩子买食物 给他们带去肉 And so the action of giving them food, of bringing them flesh,
其本身就是生命的意义 is itself what gives meaning to a life.
这样卢安 So that LuAnn comes to understand
把所做的肉体的事都看作圣事 everything she does that's bodily as sacramental,
因为这些事情是有意义的 sacramental in the sense that it's filled with a significance,
而这些意义有神圣的一面 a significance that has a sacred dimension to it.
这是不是说她每次做饭的时候 Does this mean that every time she cooks food,
都要双手合十 that she tries to keep her hands folded,
或是都要画十字 or makes a sign of the cross,
是不是说她在床上也要这么做 no more than she does that in bed
和丈夫做爱的时候要这么做 when she's making love with her husband,
当然人们知道这不会是经常的事 which one surely hopes isn't very often?
活出肉体的神圣 To live out this bodily existence of sacramental
不是说要一直非常虔诚 doesn't mean living it out as always pious,
为虔诚而作一番秀 as making a kind of show of piety.
这实在不意味着说 Indeed, it doesn't mean that
人要在自己的意识流中 at the level of passing consciousness,
一直想着我在为上帝做这事 one is always thinking well I'm doing this for God.
给一个大家庭做饭 Cooking dinner in a busy household,
更别说在闷热的房间做爱 let alone making love in a hot bedroom,
这些地方都不适合 is not the most typical place
让人一直有意识地想 to have all your passing thoughts
哦 我做这些是为了上帝 "Oh I'm doing this for God."
但一个人日常生活的构成 But the structure of one's mundane everyday life
可能就是给上帝的一些什么 might yet be a giving of something to God,
或是意识到日常生活中某些神圣的东西 or a recognition of something sacred in one's everyday life,
至少卢安是这么生活的 so at least LuAnn lives it.
因此卢安用行动表达的爱 So that LuAnn's practical love,
或包含在她行动中的爱 her love as it's embodies in her actions
反映了她全心投入在 is a reflection of a certain kind of commitment
某种内涵和意义之中 to significance and to meaningfulness,
这在故事中就是圣事 one that in this story is understood as sacramental.
这是不是说她的想法一直都是 Does that mean that she always has the sorts of thoughts
在教堂或告解室内的想法? that one has in church or in a confessional?
当然不是 Of course not.
卢安并不是脱离于行动 LuAnn doesn't value thoughtfulness
光从思考中得出价值 in a way that splits thought from action.
正是那些作为圣事的行动 It's the significant sacramental action
给她带去了意义 that's the bear of meaning for her,
而不像包萨尼亚 not as Pausanias would have it,
他认为行为是空的 an empty action that's
只能被赋予意义 then only filled with meaning
而这取决于人的意图 depending on what intensions we bring to them.
卢安对圣事的这种感知 This sacramental sense of herself that LuAnn has
在故事中通过一次威胁来表现 is worked out in this story through a threat,
对她身体的威胁 a threat to her bodily,
即她差点被两个可怕的男人强奸 a threat that she'll be raped by these terrible men
他们从商店尾随她到家 who follow her home from the store.
故事最后卢安把想法说给特德听 The story ends with LuAnn reflecting with Ted
说她是怎么对抗那两个男人的 on her own experience of fending these men off,
特别是拿煎锅 particularly of beating the hell
把一个人打的够呛 out one of them with a frying pan.
卢安向特德说的想法是 What LuAnn reflects on is the fact that
她打那些男人的身体行动 her bodily actions in striking these men
既没让她有什么满足 do not fill her either with some sort of satisfaction
她当然很开心自己没被猥亵 she's certainly happy that she wasn't raped,
她把他们打跑了 成功脱险 that she beat them off and escape from them
但并没有仅仅因此而狂喜 but she takes no great joy in just having hit them.
而另一方面 But on the other hand,
她也没有因为打伤他们的鼻子 she doesn't feel sad that she broke their noses
还差点打死他们而悲伤 and might have killed them.
她的感觉不是很容易说出来 She feels something that's not well captured
不能简单说是悲伤还是快乐 by thinking of it either as sad or as happy.
她用的词是rapture（欣喜） Her word for this is rapture.
她感到一种欣喜 She felt a kind of rapture,
这个词可以很自然地用在 a word that would have been at home
《费德鲁斯篇》中的车夫演讲 in the charioteer speech in the Phaedrus,
是一种灵魂升华的感觉 a kind of leaving of oneself.
她很欣喜 The rapturousness
维护了自己身体的完整 in which she defends her own bodily integrity
这种欣喜感让她感到惊讶 surprises her, stuns her,
因而在故事的结尾她还在想这个问题 leaves her to try to reflect on it at the end of the story.
在成功打退恶徒 Her rapture in the moment
保护了身体的完整 of defending her bodily integrity
这时感到的欣喜 against these criminals
向她揭示了关于这一生的某种东西 reveals to her something about all of her life.
极端情况往往揭示出平凡之处 Extremity is often the revelation of ordinariness
这个故事也是如此 and so for her in this story.
她把平凡的日子作为圣事去度过 Her living-out-everydayness as sacramental
这种态度通过自我防卫的经历 is interpreted for her by her experience of self-defense
被解读为了欣喜 as rapturous.
她有点极端地想象自己无所不在 She thinks about this in terms of a radical presentness
在她生活中 that she tries to live her life
她要出现在每一个时刻 by being present in every moment.
让每一刻 甚至是最平常的时刻 Making every moment, even the most mundane moments
都有意义 something meaningful,
反映出更大的对生命的投入 something that reflects her larger life commitments.
她要出现在 This notion of being present
所有时间和所有事情中 all the time in everything she does
她是在极端的情况下认识这一点的 is something that comes home to her in the extremity
就是需要她用武力 of needing to do violence
对抗别人 保护自己的时候 to other human beings to defend herself.
她不享受动武的过程 She does not enjoy doing that violence,
但也同样不后悔 but neither does she regret it.
所以等到故事的结尾 So that by the time we get to the end of the story,
我们读到了对我们造成冲击的想法 we are led to some disquieting reflections on the way
我们的肉体不是意义的载体 that our bodies are not the vehicle of meaning,
而是意义的来源 but rather the source of it.
我在故事结尾读出的这一点 A thought that comes to me at the end of the story
涉及一种不同 involves the difference
一边是通过身体作恶 between our experience of evil through our bodies
一边是行善 and the experience of good.
如果打人是不得了的重要事情 If a beating is a big deal and important thing,
强奸是更加重要的事情 and a rape is a yet much more important thing,
在谋杀中夺走人的生命是更重要的事 and that taking of a life in a murder is a bigger thing still,
为什么爱抚就不能是一件大事呢 why shouldn't a caress also be a big thing?
做爱则是更为重要的大事 And making love an even bigger, more important thing,
新生命的降生 and the conception of a new life
而不是谋杀一个人 rather than the murderous destruction of one
就是更大的事情了 be a yet bigger thing still.
我们发自内心的 Shouldn't the seriousness
对一个人的厌恶反感 of our dread and our revulsion of the one
能找到对应的一面 find its full complement
即在另一个人身上找到真正的敬畏和快乐 in the seriousness of our awe and our joy in the other.
我觉得我们太任性地耗费了生命 We deprive our lives most perversely, it seems to me,
我们让身体做了太多错事 when we let our bodies count so much for ill
好事则太少了 and so little for good.
对称法则 The laws of symmetry
要求我们为爱一个身体而欣喜不已 require the exultation of the loving body
去匹配因为破坏一个身体而堕落 to match the degradation of the broken one.
我觉得在这个圣周（复活节前一周） It seems to me here in this holy week
当我们去想 that our reflections on
那个最著名的被毁坏的肉体（耶稣） the most famous of all broken bodies
也许可以想想那样的对称法则 might be helped if we think of the necessary symmetries
即我们的肉体也是爱的意义的来源 of how our bodies are also sources of the significance of love.
复活节快乐 Have a good Easter.
下次课再见 See you when you are back.