幸福课的同学们你们好 我们是Fallen Angels Student:Hi,Positive Psychs.We are Fallen Angels.
这周六 3月15号 是我们在中心剧场的首次公演 This Saturday,March 15,is our debut in Centers.
我们将和哈佛Opportunes乐团共同出演 We are gonna be singing with Harvard Opportunes.
希望能在那时见到你们快乐的脸庞 So We'd love to see all your positive faces there.
周六晚八点 It's Saturday,8 pm.
可以在哈佛票务中心买票 You can get your tickets at the Harvard Box Office,
也可以找Opportunes团员 或者来找你最爱的天使 from any Opportune,or from your favorite Angel.
演唱"谁知道" (singing PINK "Who Knew")
如果有人曾说三年以后 If someone said three years from now
你早已离去 You'd be long gone
我会站起来将他们推出去 I'd stand up and punch them out
因为他们都是错的 They'd be all wrong
我知道不是这样 I know better
因为你说过会陪我 Cause you said forever
直到永远 谁知道呢 And ever,who knew?
亲爱的 我想你 My darling,I miss you
亲爱的 谁知道 My darling,who knew
我手上有票 下课可以来找我 Student:I have tickets.So find me after class.
每张八美元 来找我吧 They are 8 dollars.Find me.
抓住眼前 及时行乐 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:Carpe Diem.Seize the day.
让我们沿着这个理念再深入一点 So let's continue on this path and go a little bit more in depth
探讨一下自我和谐 into this idea of self-concordance.
自我和谐有什么好处呢 What are some benefits of self-concordance?
自我和谐 The first one-
有很多好处 其中第一点非常显而易见 and there are many- the first one is the obvious one.
你不需要成为一个火箭科学家 You don't need to be a rocket scientist
或者社会科学家 就能理解 or even a social scientist to understand that
制定自我和谐的目标可以让我们更快乐 setting self-concordant goals can potentially make us happier.
因为我们在追求自己在意的事 Because we are pursuing something we care about,
更加增加了人生旅途的乐趣 it is more likely to reinforce our enjoyment of the journey.
第二 除了增加幸福感 The second thing,in addition to increasing well being,
当然也跟幸福感紧密相关的是 certainly connected to well being is that very often,
制定自我和谐的目标 整体上制定目标 having self-concordant goals- having goals in general,
但特别制定一些自我和谐的目标 but in particular self-concordant goals,
能解决内在的心理冲突 resolves internal conflicts.
比如说 它可以帮我们解决焦虑 For example- it helps us deal with anxiety,
解决疑惑 解决有关存在的问题 with uncertainty,with existential questions-
"我是谁 我在干什么 我为什么在这儿" "What am I about? What am I doing? Why am I here?"
如果你思考这些 通常是在那种 And if you think about it,very often when we go through periods
我们不确定该走向何方 when we are not sure where we are going,
站在十字路口 前路迷雾重重的时候 where every fork in the road is about ambivalence and uncertainty
这就是有关存在的问题出现的时候 that's when existential questions come up.
这就是犹豫出现的时候 That's when there's uncertainty.
这就是不快乐出现的时候 That's when very often,there's unhappiness,
如果我们知道我们该往哪儿走 whereas when we know what our path is,
就不会有那么多的内在心理冲突 it helps to resolve internal conflict.
我们可以从一个很有趣的角度来看它 An interesting way to think about it
也就是将它与人际间的冲突相对比 is by drawing comparison to interpersonal conflicts.
我们现在讲的是人的内在冲突 是心理内在的 So here we are talking about intra-personal conflicts- within:
焦虑 沮丧 通常会造成类似的后果 anxiety,depression- often a result of that.
有很多关于人际间冲突的研究 But there's a lot of research on interpersonal conflicts.
我在讲到实践唯心主义 And I talked about briefly
以及冲突的解决时简单讲过 when I discussed practical idealism and conflict resolution.
面对冲突的办法 And the way to deal with the conflicts,
面对并解决冲突的最好办法 the best way to deal with the conflicts and resolve them
就是制定一个协调的目标 is to have a super ordinate goal,
使得冲突的双方都参与其中 a goal in which both sides- both conflicting sides engage in
并内在地相互依赖 and are dependent on one another or intra-dependent.
这样就能够解决人际间或组织间的冲突 And that resolves interpersonal or intergroup conflicts.
这是Muzafer Sherif或Elliot Aronson所做的研究 This is work of Muzafer Sherif or Elliot Aronson.
同理 制定目标有助于解决内在冲突 In the same way,having a goal helps to solve internal conflicts,
人内在的心理冲突 intra-personal conflicts.
因为它能让我们暂时忘却那些关于存在的 Because it takes our mind away from those existential,
很重要 但通常很难的问题 often important,but sometimes difficult questions,
尤其是不断出现时 especially when they persist.
它能使我们远离焦虑 远离沮丧 Away from anxiety.Away from depression.
我们能集中精力于我们十分想做的事 And we are focused on something we really,really want to do.
同时 它还增加了成功的可能性 Also,it increases the likelihood of success.
制定了自我和谐目标的人会更有动力 Individuals who set self-concordant goals are more motivated-
他们会更努力地工作 they are more likely to work hard.
他们会全身心地投入到 They are more likely to put their all in-
他们所做的事中去 whatever it is- that they are doing.
从长远来看 In the long term,
那些追求自己热爱事业的人都更容易取得成功 those who pursue their passions are more likely to succeed.
这似乎非常直白 Again,seems pretty straight forward,
显而易见 简直是常识 pretty self-evident common sense.
但我们常说 常识也并不是那么显而易见的 But as we often said,common sense is not that common.
很大程度上说 In many ways,
这种在我们追求自己热爱的事业时 this increased likelihood of success when we pursue the things
成功的可能性的增加 重新定义了"不劳无获"的公理 that we are passionate about defines the "no pain,no gain" maxim
它将其重新定义为如下定理 It defines it and changes it to the following maxim:
"愉悦劳作则多获" "Do it better with pleasure."
如果你要引用 我会否认我说过 Now if you quote me on this,I'll deny it.
如果你给别人看我说这句话的录像 If you show someone the video of me saying it,
我会说这是我的双胞胎兄弟 I'll say that it's my cheesy twin brother who coined it.
但确实是这样 But it's true.
如果我们热爱这项事业 就确实能把它做得更好 We do do it better with pleasure if we pursue our passions.
在实际生活中 同样也有很多关于这个的研究 What happens in practice- again,there's a lot of research on it.
你们读到了一些 我把某些研究编进了书里 You are reading some of it; I elaborate on some of it in the book
有很多研究显示 There's a lot of research that shows that
当我们沉浸于自我和谐的目标时 when we are engaged in a self-concordant goal,
就会更倾向于 we are much more likely
继续追求其他自我和谐的目标 to then continue to pursue self-concordant goals.
因为这样很好 我们更成功了 Because it was good that we were more successful;
我们还不满足 这叫做自我强化 we want more of it.It's self-reinforcing.
不仅是从生活目标的宏观角度来讲是这样 Not just on the macro level of life goals where it does that,
微观角度也是这样 这其实是种涓滴效应 but also on the micro level.And what we see is a trickle effect.
制定了自我和谐目标的人其实 People who set self-concordant goals were actually doing better
在非自我和谐的方面也做得更好了 in areas that were not necessarily self-concordant.
打个比方 For instance-
比如说你是一个大学生合唱团的成员 let's say you are a member of an undergrad A ccapella group.
你很喜欢这件事 And you really enjoy it.
从自我和谐的角度来看 这是你所信仰的事 In self-concordant,it's something that you believe in.
是你喜欢的事 是你感兴趣的事 Something you enjoy.Something that is interesting to you.
是一件你正在做 Something you are doing
因为你确实非常想做的事 because you are really want to be doing it.
换句话说 自我和谐的目标会对你生活的 In other words,a self-concordant goal that will have an effect,
其他方面产生积极影响 a positive effect on other areas in your life-
比如说一门你不那么喜欢的课 such as a class that you don't necessarily enjoy that much,
你去上课是因为你觉得你必须要去 but you are doing more because you feel that you have to,
而不是你真的非常想去 as opposed to you really really want to.
因此找到自我和谐的目标 So potentially identifying self-concordant goals
其实可以帮助你提高成绩 can also help you improve your grades.
虽然它们似乎毫不相关 Again,even though they are not related at all.
因为总体来说 你更有动力了 你更兴奋了 Because overall,you are more motivated; you are more excited;
你更感兴趣了 你用更积极的感情 you are more interested; and you enjoy life
来享受整个人生 这就是涓滴效应 as a whole more in positive emotions have a trickle effect.
这个效应可以想象为黑暗房间里的蜡烛 In a way you can think about it like a candle in a dark room.
通常你不需要将点很多灯照亮整个屋子 Very often you don't need to light up the entire room with lights
有时只需一根蜡烛 A single candle sometimes
就足以将光明遍布房间每一个角落 is enough to spread the light to darkened corners of the room.
自我和谐的目标也是这样 The same with the self-concordant goals.
它们具有涓滴效应 They have a trickle effect.Choosing to do things-
选择做我们想做的事同样对健康也有好处 doing what we want to do has also health benefits.
这是心理学领域的重要研究之一 This is one of the most important studies done
同样是由我们学校的Ellen Langer做的研究 in the field of psychology by,once again,our own Ellen Langer.
她所做的就是去了一个养老院 What she did was going into old age homes and divide it-
将老人们随机分为两组 the old age home randomly into two groups.
第一组所有需要都能得到满足 The one group got all the support that they needed-
不管什么需要都能满足 whatever they wanted they got.
他们想吃什么 就能吃什么 They asked for certain food- they got it.
他们想在某些事情上寻求帮助 同样也能满足 They asked to be helped,carrying out certain tasks- they got it.
所有事情都无需他们动手 Everything was done for them.
很大程度上来说 这是大多数人梦想的养老院 In many ways,the old age homes that many people dream of.
而第二组就没有这么好的待遇了 And then the second group didn't have as good.
他们不能衣来伸手饭来张口 Not everything was catered for them.
时常都需要自己动手 They very often had to do their own things.
比如说 他们必须自己浇花 For example,notably,they had to water their own plants.
他们必须自己规划每天做的事 They very often had to set their own routine during the day.
服务没有第一组那么周到 The service wasn't as great as the first group.
他们需要什么的话 必须自己告诉职员 They had to tell the employees if they needed something.
经常需要自己动手丰衣足食 They very often had to get it themselves.
同样 他们需要自己浇花 And again,they planted- they watered their own plants.
而研究的内容是 And what they did was-
Langer创造了这两种不同的情境 Langer created this two different scenarios
然后一年半后再回来 and then went back 18 months later.
一年半后 第二组 After 18 months,the second group,
自己浇花的那一组 the group that watered their plants,
自己照顾自己的那一组 the group that took care of their day,
没有人管顾的那一组 the group that was not catered for,
跟第一组相比起来 in the same way as the first group-
他们没那么沮丧 他们更快乐 they were less likely to be depressed; they were happier;
他们更有活力 更独立 也更健康 they were more energetic; more independent,physically healthier.
更关键的是 And the clincher:
一年半后 他们活着的比例比另一组高出一半 18 months later,they were 50 percent more likely to be alive.
唯一的区别就在于更健康 更开心 The only difference being that group that was healthier,happier,
更高存活率的这组 有选择的权利 more likely to be alive,had choice.
他们能做自己想做的事 They did their own thing.
他们会询问自己想做什么 They were asked what do you want to do,
而不是衣来伸手饭来张口 as opposed to being catered for,being supported.
从某种角度来说 这太轻松了 不需要做什么选择 And in some way,this was too easy.There was no choice involved.
当我们能够选择时 当我们做自己想做的事时 And when we choose,when we do what we want to,
是有益于我们的幸福 我们的成功 it has implications to our well being,to our success,
以及我们的健康的 and to our physical health,
尤其是能使我们更加长寿 to the point of leading to longer life.
小小的差异导致了巨大的区别 Significant difference with such little intervention.
但今天的很多养老院依然是基于 And yet,so many of the old age homes today are built
"迎合老人所有的需要" around the notion of "let's catered to all their needs"-
"满足他们所有需求" "let's do everything that they desire",
"为他们提供方便"这样的理念上的 这其实不好 "let's make it easy for them".That's not necessarily good.
太过于轻松了 There's too easy-
不管是我在书里提到的概念 whether it's the notion that I talked about in the book,
"特权中的非特权" "the underprivilege of the privilege",
一切过于轻松 我们失败得不够 or things are too easy,or we don't fail enough;
抑或是老人院里 一切过于轻松 whether it is in the old age home,or it becomes too easy,
不需要做选择 无需挣扎 无需做决定 as opposed to making choices and struggling and making decisions.
而且同样适用于我们之后会讲到的 And it applies as we will see later also,
压力的概念 以及它对于 to the notion of stress- and how important that can be
培养耐性以及最终获得幸福的重要性 in cultivating resilience and ultimately,happiness.
过于轻松不一定是件好事 Too easy is not necessarily good.Finally,
最后我们看到压迫政权和民主之间也是这样 we see this also in oppressive regimes versus democracies.
人们之所以在民主制度下更幸福的重要原因之一 One of the main reasons why people are happier under democracies-
记住 这是少数可以预测幸福的 and remember,that is one of few external circumstances
外部条件之一 that can predict happiness-
原因之一就在于 民主制度下人们有选择的权利 one of the reasons is because under democracies,people have choice.
而在独裁政治下 As opposed to under dictatorships,
通常人们会被告知"好 你去做会计 very often they are told "OK,you need to go into accounting.
你去做工程 You need to go into engineering.
你去做运动员" 诸如此类 And you need to go into athletics." And so on.
如果你有选择 那就是快乐的预示 And when you have a choice,that is a good predictor of happiness
让我们稍微换一下话题 Let's shift gear a little bit.
我要讲一些与自我和谐非常相关的东西 I'm going to talk about something very much related
但是是从不同的角度来讲的 to self-concordance,but from a different angle.
我要讲讲行为价值观 缩写为VIA I'm going to talk about values in action,or in short,the VIA.
行为价值观 VIA 可以说是积极心理学中 Values in action,the VIA,is arguably the most ambitious,
最有前景 也是 and certainly one of the most important projects
最重要的课题之一 within positive psychology.
它最先是由图中的Chris Peterson It was initiated by Chris Peterson in the picture,
密歇根大学教授 以及Martin Seligman共同提出的 professor of University of Michigan and Martin Seligman.
他们想说明的是积极心理学 And what they wanted to identify was positive psychology
可以代替DSM DSM就是 is alternative to the DSM- the DSM,
《精神疾病诊断与统计手册》 the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder,which
其中包括已知所有心理疾病的分类 is essentially the classification of all known mental disorders.
这是本非常厚的书 非常重要的文件 上面讲了 It's a very thick book,a very important document where it says-
比如说 它列出了特定的标准 for example,it lists certain criteria
然后说如果一个人在某一段时间内符合 and it says if a person has seven of the ten of these criteria
这十条标准中的七条 那他就有重性抑郁症 for x period of time,that person has major depression.
如果某人在另一段时间内符合四条标准中的三条 If the person has three of four criteria for y period of time,
他就有精神分裂症 that person has schizophrenia.
或抑郁症 或季节性心理疾病 Or dysthymia.Or seasonal affective disorder.
或者我们已知的定义并分类好的 Or all of the psychopathologies that are known to us,
精神疾病 that have been defined and classified.
非常重要的文件 A very important document.
而Seligman和Peterson Come along Seligman and Peterson right at the beginning
在积极心理学问世之初就说 when positive psychology came onto the scene and say,
"让我们来造一个替代品 让我们替代掉 "let's create an alternative.Let's create an alternative
DSM 不再鉴别弱点 to the DSM that will identify instead of weaknesses,
疾病 或者缺陷 instead of pathologies,instead of deficiencies,
相反来鉴别人的力量和长处" it will identify individual strengths and virtues."
然后他们定义了24种人格力量 And they identified 24 character strengths,
全部囊括在此书中 并进行了解释和描述 all enlisted,explained,described in this book.
他们不仅定义了这些人格力量 Not only did they identified the character strengths,
还创造了机制 方法 they also created mechanisms,ways,
来测量这些人格力量 means of measuring these character strengths.
比方说一个网上测试 下周你们会做一个这样的测试 For example,an online test- one you would be taking next week-
可以作为帮你鉴别你的 that can help you,as a first step,
行为价值观的第一步 identify your values in actions:
你的人格力量是什么 你的美德是什么 what are your character strengths; what are your virtues;
你擅长什么 你热爱什么 what are you good at; what are you passionate about.
关于人格力量 他们在鉴别它们时 The thing about character strengths-When they identified them,
确保了他们所鉴别的是普遍的人格特点 they made sure that they identified universal characteristics.
换句话说 并不是特别挑选的例如 In other words,it wasn't chosen by you know,
美国的白人学术男性 male,white academics living in America.
这是在全球范围进行的研究 This was research done all over the world,
跨文化以鉴别那些共有的特征 cross-culturally to identify characters that are identical,
不管在美国 欧洲 亚洲的中国 日本 whether it was in United States or Europe,Asia- China,Japan
甚至包括肯尼亚的马萨伊部落 as well as the Massai tribe in Kenya
以及北格陵兰岛的因纽特人 and the Inuits in Northern Greenland.
这是个全球范围的研究课题 So this was an international research project,
因为他们想 because what they thought-
如果我们能找到所有文化都共有的东西 if we can find things that are common to all cultures,
就能找到人类本性的东西 we will identify what is the part of human nature,
而不是后天养成的 as opposed to human nurture.
他们承认这是可以随时间变化的 And they admit you know that this may change over time;
在测量时我们可能会变得更老练 we may become more sophisticated in measuring them.
但作为开始 人格力量和美德 But as a start,the character strengths and virtues,
行为价值观 手册和测试 是一个好的开始 the values in action,manual and test,is an excellent start,
你会从中受益良多 the one what you'll benefit from a great deal,
很快你们就会明白 as you will see shortly.
这些特点的关键方面在于 The key aspect also of these characteristics
它们具有道德价值 is that they have moral value.
例如跑得快的能力 For example,the ability to run fast-
很显然有些人有这种能力 it's certainly some people have this strength,
身体各部位动得更快 you know having more fast twitch than slow twitch,
肌肉更强劲 having stronger muscles,for instance.
这是种力量 但不是人格力量 It certainly is a strength,but it's not a character strength.
因为它其中不含有道德成分 Because it doesn't in and of itself have a moral component.
你可以将力量用于道德相关的事情 You could use your strength and your speed toward moral ends,
但就其本身来说 but in and of itself,
它并不算是一种道德特点 it has not been valued as a moral characteristic.
同理 一样东西要成为力量 Similarly,in order for something to be a strength,
就必须是用于道德方面的 it has to be used toward moral end.
比方说 For instance- as you'll see,
幽默是一种人格力量 humor is one of the character strengths.However,
但如果幽默被用来伤害他人 if humor is used to hurt other people as it sometimes is,
它就不能算作一种力量 it cannot be considered a strength.
所以它必须是用于道德高尚的方面 So it's used toward moral noble ends.
行为价值观很大程度上是 What values in action are in many ways-
关于自我和谐的过程的 意思是 they are about self-concordant journey.Meaning:
当我们制定了目标和结果 有一个目的地 when we set a goal and outcome,we are about a destination-
对 这当然是对整个过程有益的 yes,it certainly benefits the journey.
它通过解放我们来帮助我们 Yes,it certainly helps us enjoy by liberating us-
享受现在 享受当下 helps us enjoy the here and now.
但最终我们关注的是结果 But ultimately,what our focus is on- the end result.
有了行为价值观 With values in action,
我们就能直接关注这个过程 our focus is on specifically,directly the journey.
我如何能到达终点 我的目的地 How can I enjoy getting to the end,my destination?
是通过大量的学习吗 Is it by engaging in a lot of learning?
是通过我可能拥有的人格力量之一 Is it by- which may be a character strength of mine,
对学习的热爱吗 还是通过领导他人呢 love of learning? Is it by engaging leading other people-
领导也是人格力量之一 the leadership is one of those character strengths?
是通过精神上的祈祷吗 Is it by being spiritual and praying along the path-
如果信仰和敬畏是我的人格力量的话 if spirituality or awe is my character strengths.
它们能帮助我们享受 So it's helping us enjoy the journey
前往我们认为有价值的目的地的过程 on the way to a destination we deem valuable.
换句话说 In other words,
如果我们有自我和谐的目标和自我和谐的旅程 if we have a self-concordant end and a self-concordant journey,
这就是快乐的所在 this is what happiness is.
既包括当下的好处(过程) Both present benefit (journey)
也包括将来的好处(结果) as well as future benefit (outcome).
这就是为什么自我和谐的目标很重要 And that's why it goes hand in hand with a self-concordant goal.
并不是说自我和谐的目标 It's not that the self-concordant goals
对我们享受奋斗的过程没有帮助 don't help us enjoy the journey,
而VIA也不能帮我们得到更好的结果 and it's on the VIA does not help us reach a better outcome.
它其实可以 It does.
然而 当它们同时呈现时 我们更能够感受到 However, when they go together, we are more likely to experience
完整的快乐 以及成就感 a complete experience of happiness,of fulfillment.
很多研究显示如何找到我们的行为价值观 And a lot of research has shown how identify our values in action
更重要的是如何应用它们 and more importantly applying them,using them,
能够使我们得到更高层次的快乐和成功 exercising them leads to higher levels of happiness and success.
这不仅仅是相关关系 And this is not just correlational;
而是因果关系 there is a causal relationship.
你们下周的练习就是使用它 And your exercise for next week will be to implement it,
最终可能带你们走向更大的成功 which will ultimately hopefully lead you to more success
以及终极的目标 as well as more of the ultimate currency.
除了你们即将做的问卷之外 In addition to the questionnaire that you will be taking,
这里也有一些其他的标准来鉴别 here are some other criteria to identify
你的个人人格力量是什么 what are your personal character strengths.
第一个问题就是"这是真的我吗" The first one is "is this the real me?"
我是否觉得这真的是我自己 当我在团体里工作时 Do I feel authentic,most myself,when I am working in a group?
当我领导别人时 当我学新东西时 When I am leading people? When I am learning something new?
当我祈祷时 当我在看一部喜剧 When I am praying? When I'm watching a comedy
或者讲笑话 听笑话时 or telling jokes or listening to jokes?
我什么时候觉得最是我自己 When do I feel most myself?
十九世纪时 William James说 William James,back in the 19th century:
"我时常觉得定义一个人性格的最好办法 "I have often thought the best way to define a man's character
就是寻找特定的心理 would be to seek out the particular mental
或道德态度 它们出现时 or moral attitude in which,when it came upon him,
他觉得自己最为积极和活跃 he felt himself most deeply and intensely active and alive.
在这种时刻 他内心有一个声音说 At such moments there is a voice inside which speaks and says:
'这就是真的我!'" 'This is the real me!'"
你的真我在什么时候出现呢 是你表现英勇的时候吗 When is the real you coming out? Is it when you act bravely?
是你全身心投入 认真地做某事的时候吗 Is it when you apply yourself and work hard at something?
是你作为一个审慎的人 你的计划 Is it when you plan- and you are prudent,
很好地计划了未来的时候吗 这也是一种力量 careful about the future? It's a strength,too.
当你按照你的人格力量行为时 When you are acting according to your character strengths,
你会觉得充满活力和动力 you feel energized and you feel motivated.
这是发自内心的 很本能的 It comes from within.It feels natural.
这是来自你的人性本能的 Again,this is about understanding your personal nature,
本质的内在观念 the constrained view of human nature,
而不是说"所有力量都是我的 as opposed to saying "well,all the strengths are me.
我可以培养所有这些力量" 对 没错 I can cultivate all the strengths." Yes,it's true.
我们都拥有所有力量中的一些 And we all have some of all of the strengths.
然而 我们仍然有特定的偏向 它植根于 However,however,we also have certain inclinations embedded
我们的基因 whether it's in our genes,
或者早期的经历 whether it's in our earlier experiences.And
并不是说我们就不能或不应该培养其他力量 it's not we cannot or should not cultivate the other strength,
而是我们应该 but what we need to do
更专注于这些对我们来说更本性的力量 is focus mostly on those strengths that are most natural to us.
因为这是我们能获取最多的地方 Because that's when we get the most bank for the buck,
也就是说最终的结果 so to speak,in the ultimate currency that is,
最后的成功 传统意义上的成功 as well as in success,the conventional standard of success.
当我们利用这些力量 个人的力量时 And when we engage in those strengths,our personal strengths,
我们最能够成长 最能发展 that's when we grow the most,that's when we develop the most,
学到的也最多 that's when we learn the most.
再问问自己 很快你们就会 And again,ask yourself as in a minute
看到列出各种力量的单子 问问自己 you'll be looking at the list of strengths- ask yourself:
我什么时候最能感觉到自我 when does it feel the real me?
是我投入地工作时吗 Again,it's when I apply myself and work hard?
是我惩恶扬善表现英勇时吗 Is it when I go again the grain and act bravely?
这是我觉得最真实 最有活着的感觉的时候吗 Is it when I feel the most real,the most alive?
是我学习新知识时吗 是我去博物馆时吗 Is it when I learn something new? Is it when I go to a museum?
是我祈祷时吗 是我被幽默的人环绕时吗 Is it when I pray? Is it when I'm around people who are funny?
什么时候我最真实? 这是力量的列表 When is it the most me? Here is the list.
花一分钟看看 Take just a minute to look at them.
它们分为六个类别 They are divided into six categories.
共有24种人格力量 There are 24 character strengths.
我只是让你们提前看看 And I just want you to be exposed to it right now.
因为你们的作业中 Because,again,for your homework,
会拿到一份带描述的所有力量的列表 you'll get a print-out of all the strengths with description.
花点时间将它们看一遍 Just take a few seconds to look through them.
问自己 说到这些力量时 你是谁 And ask yourself: who are you? When it comes to these strengths.
好 接下来我们要做的 OK.Here's what we are going to do.
我们现在要做的是 What we are going to do now
我要向你们介绍两个练习 is I'm going to introduce you to two exercises.
两个建立于VIA上的练习 Two exercises that build on the VIA,
建立于这个问卷之上 that build on this questionnaire,
建立于你们对自己的个人人格力量的认知之上 that build on your identifying your personal character strengths.
你们要做的第一个练习是 The first exercise you are actually going to be doing-
是下周你们的作业中要做的 that's next week,for your response paper.
第二个练习我非常推荐大家做 The second exercise is one that I highly recommend doing-
但由于时间关系不能一起做了 for lack of time,we can't also do that.
第一个练习 基于 The first one- and this is based on research,
Peterson和他的同事所做的研究的结果 done by Peterson and his colleagues-
对于幸福和成功 has been showing remarkable effects,remarkable consequences
具有显著效果和影响 in terms of well being as well as in terms of success.
它是关于建立能力的 And what it is about is building capacity.
关于找到人格力量 It's about identifying the character strengths
然后不断追求它们 and then pursuing them.
再简要概括一下什么叫建立能力 Just a quick recap about what it means to build capacity.
当你在考虑以及 You see,when you are thinking about character strength
应用人格力量时 我们所知道的是 and applying character strength,what we know is that
它可以使你有一个更快乐的 自我和谐的旅程 it helps you become happier- remember a self-concordant journey.
比如你发现做某事 So you found doing something
并持续不断地学习新鲜事物 and constantly engaged in learning new things,
是我的人格力量 或者表达感恩 if it is my personal strength or expressing gratitude constantly,
是我的人格力量 if that is my character strength.
是我喜欢做的事 那我就会更快乐 Something that I'm inclined to do.I'll be happier.
换句话说 In other words,
回到我们第二或第三节课上讲的模型 going back to our model from our second or third class.
它可以帮助我们从零走向正 It will help us go from zero to the positive.
然而 这项研究发现的是 However,what was found in the research is that
它不仅能使我们从零走向正 it doesn't only help us go from the zero to the positive,
而且能使我们更好的处理负 it also helps us better deal with the negative.
这是直接的 这是间接的 This- it does directly.This- it does indirectly.
怎么做到的呢 通过建立能力 How? By building capacity.
如果你仔细想想 这正是积极心理学所要做的 If you think about it,this is what positive psychology is about,
正如我们已经讲过很多次了 as we've discussed numerous times.
是关于建立能力的 It's about building capacities.
是增强我们的免疫系统 It's about strengthening our immune system,
使我们适应性更强 making us more resilient.
或者用另一个类比 造一个强劲的马达 Or the other analogy that we use: building a stronger motor
从而使我们更好的处理困难 so that we can better deal with hardships,
处理艰难的逆境 with uphill battles,when these arise.
因此培养VIA直接影响我们的奋斗过程 So cultivating our VIA directly affects our journey-
我们更乐在其中 we enjoy it more.
从零到正 然后它还有别的作用 From the zero to the positive.And then it does something else.
它还帮助我们建立能力 It also helps us build capacity
这样我们就能更好地面对消极 面对困难 so we are better able to deal the negative,with difficulties,
面对可能出现的逆境 with the hardships when these inevitably arise.
过程是这样的 So here is the process:
第一步是找到你的人格力量 the first step is to identify your character strengths.
显而易见的 Seems pretty obvious.
而找到力量的方法 又分为两步 The way to do it- two steps,two sub-steps.
首先 做问卷 做测试 First,to take the questionnaire,to take the test.
这就是那个网站 我会将它发给你们 This is the website.It will all be emailed to you plus.
是用Powerpoint做的 做这个问卷 共240道题 It's on the powerpoint.To take this test.It's 240 questions.
可能花半个小时的时间 It should take you about 30 minutes.
没有正确或错误的答案 And there are no right or wrong answers.
不是像"你最好把敬畏列在前五 It's not like "it's better to have awe in your top five
最好不要把审慎列为第一"之类的 and not so great to have prudence as your top one",
顺便说一句 我把审慎列为第一 which by the way is my top value.
没有好或者不好 只是识别出你是谁 There's no good,bad.It's identifying who you are.
它们所有 我们都有24个 And all of them,again,we all have all 24.
感激是排在我的第19位的 You know,I think gratitude is my 19th.
这是不是意味着我不喜欢感恩 Now does that mean that I don't enjoy being grateful,
我每天所进行的感恩对我来说 that the gratitude exercise that I do every day
都是没有好处的呢 当然不是 is not beneficial to me? Of course it is!
但排得更靠前的是我对学习的热爱 But much higher for me is the love of learning.
所以做做这个网上测试 So take the online test.
找到你的前十 他们推荐前五位 Identify from there your ten top ones- they recommend top five.
我推荐前八位到十二位 I recommend anywhere between 8 and 12.
找到这8种或12种力量 读读它们的描述 And take these 8 to 12 strengths.Read their descriptions-
它们是什么意思 有什么含义 说明了你的什么特质 what they mean,what they are about,what they say about you.
然后问问你自己 这里面哪五个 And then ask yourself: which ones,which five-
或四个 或者也可以是六个 大约是五个 or it could be four,or it could be six,but more or less five-
哪五个符合我们之前讲过的标准 which five fulfill the criteria that we discussed earlier?
也就是 什么是真正的我 或者哪些 Namely,which are the real me? Or which ones,
最能让我感觉到充满活力 充满动力 when I'm engaging them I feel more energized and motivated?
或者哪些最能使我成长发展 Or which ones do I grow and develop most from?
从这8到12种力量中 And from these 8 to 12 strengths,
找出4到6种符合这些标准的力量 identify 4 to 6 that most fulfill these strengths criteria.
然后从中任意选择一个 And then choose any one of the character strengths
并应用它 from your final list and apply it,
也就是接下来一周七天的每一天 meaning every day for the following 7 days- and again,
这会是你们下周的任务 this will be your task for the next week-
来应用这些人格力量 apply these character strengths.
这七天之后的时间 Every day for the 7 days after that-
就看你自己了 希望你们能将其转化为一种例行公事 that will be up to you and hopefully you will cultivate a ritual,
一种习惯 然后再应用下一项人格力量 a habit out of it,apply the next character strength
或者还是同一种 但用不同的方式 or the same character strength in a different way.
给你们举一个个人例子 So let me give you a personal example.
我第三次教积极心理学时 The third time when I taught positive psychology,
学期到了一半时 about half way through the semester,
我开始觉得有点疲倦 有点精疲力竭 I started to feel a little bit enervated,a little bit tired.
我之前已经教了两次 You know,I've done it twice before.
我知道自己会说什么 我听过自己以前说过 I knew what I was going to say.I've heard myself say it before.
我觉得我失去了精力 And I thought I lost a little bit of energy,
失去了教学的动力 a little bit ongf in teaching.
然后我就回到VIA And then I went back to the VIA.
我说"这倒确实说得通" And I said "well that made a lot of sense."
因为我在审慎之后排第二位的是对学习的热爱 Because my second strength after prudence is love of learning.
而当我反复教同一门课时 And when I am teaching the same course,
我就没怎么学新东西 again,I wasn't learning that much new.
确实我在工作时能学新东西 So yes,I had new learnings in office hours.
我经常在学习 那些来过我办公室的人就知道 I always learn a lot- those who've been to my office hours know
我们说话时我会写下一些想法 that I jot down ideas as we are speaking.
但总体来说 在这门课上我教的是一样的东西 But as a whole,in a class,I was doing the same thing.
然后我就说"好吧 那我就要实践一下这个练习" And then I said,"OK.So I am going to engage in this exercise."
对我来说 And for me,
这个练习就是继续追求对学习的热爱 that exercise was let's take love of learning and continue it,
即便我是在教同样的课 even when I am teaching the same course.
即使我教同一门课 我还是很忙 I'm incredibly busy even if I am teaching the same course.But
但我仍然每天抽一小时出来做点新鲜的事 I still put in an hour aside every day to learning something new,
阅读一些我没读过的东西 to reading something that I haven't read before.
而两天之后就对我起了效果 And what that did for me immediately within two days-
我的能量回来了 it brought back my energy.
它对其他领域产生了涓滴效应 例如我的教学 It had a trickle effect on other areas,such as my teaching.
因为我阅读了新鲜事物 Because I was reading something new
它帮助我更好地教学 and then it also helped me teach better-
不仅仅是带回了活力 not only in terms of energy,
而且给我的课堂带来了新的想法 but also new ideas,such as I introduce once in a while.
有时我会告诉你们我刚读了这本书 Sometimes I tell you I just read this book
我读到了这些内容 and here is what I read.
即使我很忙我也一直这样做 And I do it constantly even though I am very busy.
因为我知道这对于幸福 Because I know that that's very important for well being,
对于终极目标 对于成功都非常重要 for the ultimate currency as well as for success,for performance
所以不管是什么 So apply whatever it is,whatever
不管你排名第一的力量是什么 都应用它直至它成为习惯 your top strengths are consciously until it becomes a habit.
然后 这也将是你们练习的一部分 And then- this will also be part of your exercise-
每天晚上描述你当天如何应用了你的力量 each night describe how you use your strength on that day
然后用它规划第二天 and then commit to the next day:
你明天要做什么 为什么 what are you going to do tomorrow? Why?
因为这能加强你的神经通路 Because that reinforces the neural pathways.
请记住这一点 Remember when we describe something good.
某种程度上说 VIA之于DSM就像PPEO之于PTSD In many ways,the VIA to the DSM is like PPEO to PTSD.
还记得吗 这可以作为一道GRE题 Remember that? That could be a GRE question.
这个类比是PPEO-积极 The analogy is PPEO- positive,
PTSD-消极 VIA和DSM相比较也是同理 PTSD- negative is the same as the VIA compared to the DSM.
等价于 The equivalence-
积极心理学以及传统精神病理学 positive psychology and conventional psychopathology.
这是之后的第二个练习 So here is the second exercise after you do this.
你可以将其应用于解决问题 You could also apply for problem solving.
因为在VIA间接地建立能力 Because in a sense,while the VIA indirectly builds capacity
帮助我们面对问题 困难和逆境的同时 and helps us deal with problems,with difficulties,with uphills,
我们也可以用它来影响这些困难 we can also use it to affect our difficulties,
来直接的帮助我们解决问题 to help us with our problems directly.
比方说 第一步 和前面一样 So for example.The first step- same as the previous one.
你首先通过做测验 看看这些力量是否符合标准 You first identify your character strengths by taking the test,
来找到你的人格力量 by asking what are the criteria the these strengths fulfill.
然后找到你的问题 不论是在个人生活 And then,identify any problem,whether it's in personal life,
或者是在运动方面 whether it's in,on the sports field,
或者是情感方面 或者工作方面 whether it's on,in a relationship,whether it's at work.
找出你想要解决的问题 Identify certain problem that you want to deal with.
然后问问自己如何能够应用其中一种 And then ask how you can apply one of the character,
或几种力量来解决这个问题 or some of the character strengths toward that problem.
举个例子 So for example.Let's take an example.
比如说我遇到的一个 Let's say one of the problem that I face
我极力避免的问题 is that I am mostly avoiding.
我害怕冒险 我不会不顾一切 I am afraid of taking risks.I don't put myself on the line.
因为我很焦虑 并且害怕 Because I am anxious and afraid.
而对学习的热爱是我的一种力量 And love of learning is one of our strengths.
我所能做的就是用对学习的热爱来处理我的 What I can do is use the love of learning to deal with my phobia,
恐惧 焦虑 和害怕 my anxiety,my fear of putting myself on the line.
怎么做呢 通过学习任何有关 How? By learning all I can learn about
如何更好地解决焦虑和恐惧的知识 how to better deal with phobia and anxiety,
我也正是这样做的 which by the way is exactly what I did.
阅读任何我能找到的书 Read every book I could find.
和我认为了解这方面的人聊天 Talked to any person who I thought knew about it.
利用这个力量 Used the strength
将其应用于我的弱点 and then applied it to what had been a weakness of mine.
人际关系也一样 Or relationships.
比如说我们的人际关系正面临一定的困难 Let's say we are going through a difficulty in relationship.
而我的力量之一 比方说是真诚可靠 And one of my top strengths is for example,authenticity.
那我如何将我的可靠 And then how can I use my authenticity
用于我和我伙伴之间的关系 in my interactions with my partner-
最终达到更高层次的亲密 and that will lead to higher levels of intimacy
长远来看 改善我们间的关系 and improve the relationship in the long run,
我也正是这样做的 which is exactly what I did.
将我的力量 One of my top strengths-
应用于产生更加亲密的关系 and applied it to cultivating more intimacy.
想想你们自己的例子 Think of your own example.
这不是作业 Again,this will not be a response paper,
但我十分推荐你们试试 but I highly recommend and urge you to apply it.
让我们来汇总一下这些概念 Let's put some of these ideas together.
让我们看看你们现在或者将来 Let's look at the decisions that some of you are making right now
会做的决定 or will be making in the future,
无论是明年 或是三年之后 whether it's next year or three years from now,
或者20年 40年以后 or 20 or 40 years from now.
你如何去做决定 How do you make decisions and how do you-
什么是制定一个自我和谐的奋斗过程 what may be a helpful framework
以及目标的有效框架呢 for identifying a self-concordant journey as well as outcome?
其中一种方法 And one of the ways to do it
就是看看Amy Wrzesniewski的研究 is by looking at the work of Amy Wrzesniewski
我在之前的课上讲过 that I do talk about in the work chapter,
但还是值得反复再提 but still worth going over again.
关于工作方向的研究 About work orientation.
这不仅适用于工作 And this is going to apply not just to work.
也适用于我们生活的其他方面 It can apply to other areas in our lives.
Wrzesniewski他们发现的是 Generally what Wrzesniewski and others found is that
人们对于工作的概念 people's perception of work
可以分为三类 can be classified into three categories.
有些人认为他们的工作是工作 有的人认为是职业 Some people perceive their work as a job; others as a career;
还有一些人 但很不幸不是多数 and yet,others,not the majority unfortunately,
希望在将来成为多数 hopefully in the future the majority-
有些人认为它是一种使命 some people perceive it as a calling.
这并不意味着 Primarily it doesn't mean that
将工作视为使命的人 the person who perceives his or her work
就不会时不时觉得这只是工作 as a calling does not sometimes experience it as a job.
但总体而言 他们认为他们的工作 However,overall,they perceive their work
是一种使命 而非职业或仅仅是工作 as a calling versus a career versus a job.
你可以用以下标准来区分出他们 And you can distinguish them by looking at the following criteria
他们的动力是什么 是什么让他们持续努力 what motivates them- what keeps them going,
什么推动或拉着他们 他们如何理解工作 what pushes and pulls them; what do they perceive work as-
他们如何诠释工作的地方 what is their interpretation of the workplace;
他们的期待是什么 最后 what do they expect- what are they hoping for; and finally,
他们对这份工作的未来所寄望的是什么 what are they looking forward to in the future in that work.
那些将工作仅仅视为工作的人 他们的动力是 So people who perceive their work as a job: motivation- paycheck
每个月末 或者每个周末的工资 at the end of the month or the end of the week;
工作是我不得不做的事 它是琐事 work as something I have to do- it's a chore,
我别无选择 他们期待什么呢 没有什么 I have no choice about it; what do they expect- nothing much;
他们期待星期五 期待放假休息 they look forward to TGIF or the holiday,the break,
期待学期结束 期待两年研究生结束 the end of the semester,the end of the two year period,
或者之类的 or whatever it may be.
而将工作视为职业的 The career perception,orientation:
薪酬和晋升是他们的动力 money and advancement are what motivates these individuals,
不断地升职 getting to the next stage;
工作就像赛跑 跑到最高处 work as- it's a race,a race to the top-
这是好胜者常有的情况 this is what the rat racers mostly reside;
他们的期望是 更多的特权 更强的力量 更多的钱 the expectation- more prestige,more power,more money,
更多的特权 更强的力量 晋升 升职 more prestige,more power,again,advancement,attainment,
不断地成就 achievement of the next goal;
他们寄望的是不断的升职 and they are looking forward to the next promotion.
这也同样于其他领域 比如说 And this applies to different areas- it could be
从医学预科到医学院 到最好的医院的实习 from PreMed to Med school to internship at the best place,
到主治医生 到部门负责人 to the chief,head of the department,
再到医院院长 to the chief of the hospital.
可以是从分析师 到合作人 到合伙人 It could be the race from being analyst to an associate to a partner
也可以是从助手到 It could be the race from being
副教授 再到正教授 an assistant to an associate to a full professor.
这种竞争适用于各个领域 It can apply to any area,the red race.
而那些幸运地将工作视为使命的少数人 The lucky few who perceive their work as calling:
他们的动力来自于工作本身 the motivation is the thing in itself-
是一种自我和谐的目标 it's about self-concordant goal,
是自我和谐的奋斗过程 it's also about self-concordant journey;
他们怎么理解工作 他们认为这是种任务 是种使命 how do they perceive work- it's a mission,it's a vocation,
他们本就该做这个 it's what they are meant to be doing,it's what
做这件事比起所有其他事都更乐意 they want to be doing more than anything else in the world.
他们不认为这是琐事 能够参与其中 They see it not as a chore,but it's a privilege to be engaged in
就是一种特权 what it is that they are doing.
他们的期望 也是他们的使命 是使世界更美好 The expectations- their mission: a better world.
而最后 他们寄望的是更多的工作 And finally,what do they look forward to- more work.
从而他们能实现自身 More work where they can actualize themselves,
成就自身 where they can fulfill themselves,
引用军事名言 可以成为任何他们想成为的人 where they can be- to use the military cliche- all they can be.
讲到这个 Now when you look at this,
要在每时每刻都感觉到召唤或使命 it's mostly impossible to experience a sense of calling
以及自我和谐的旅程是不太可能的 and mission and a self-concordant journey every hour of the day.
就像不可能总是能够 Just like it's not possible to be happy
体验到这么多的快乐 and to experience constantly experience that constant high.
举个例子 教学就是我的使命 You know,for example,teaching is my calling.
我感受到了召唤 I certainly experience a sense of calling-
来自于这件事本身 我做这件事 it's the thing in itself; it's what I want to do professionally
比所有其他事更乐意 more than anything else in the world.
同时 At the same time,
教学中也有很多我不喜欢的东西 there are elements of teaching that I don't enjoy it as much.
我也确实偶尔会感觉到 And I do feel that I fell a little bit toward
"这是我的工作 我必须要做"的感觉 "well,this is my job- I had to do it" such as
比如每次上课前备五遍课 going over my lecture notes five times before each lecture.
第一遍非常有趣 The first time,pretty interesting;
第二遍第三遍就有点重复了 you know second and third it gets a little bit repetitive.
但我知道如果我要把课讲好 But I know if I want to produce a good and effective lecture-
因为教学是我的使命 because that is my calling,teaching,
我必须要反复备课 I have to go over it many times.
我也能感受到 And I can tell the difference
备一两遍课和备五遍的区别 when I go over it once or twice versus five times.
所以这对我来说很重要 So that's important to me.
但这时我的工作 But that part of my work-
就是种琐事 我不得不做的事 it is a chore,something that I have to do.
然而 记住涓滴效应 However,remember the trickle effect.
由于整体来说 这是种使命 Because overall,there's a sense of calling.
整体来说 这是自我和谐的目标及过程 Overall,it's a self-concordant goal as well as journey.
所以即使备五遍课也没问题 也没那么糟 Even those parts are OK,not that bad.
或者比方说你很喜欢一门课 Or let's say you really enjoy a certain course.
假设是1504 Let's take a hypothetical example,1504.
再做个假设 And another hypothetical example,
你一周后就要期中考了 you happen to have a midterm in a week.
你可能不会享受其中每一步 You know,you may not enjoy every step of the way.
比如把书看两遍 You know going over the material
或者看三遍 for the second time or third time.
但如果整体来说这件事是自我和谐的 However,if overall that experience is self-concordant,
对你来说很重要 你很喜欢 important to you,and you enjoy it,
那么那样也就没那么糟糕 是可以接受的 even that part will not be that bad.It will be OK,
尤其是当你发现在这个过程中 especially if you start seeing that during that process,
你建立了新的联系 you'll begin to make new connections,
理解了你觉得很重要的知识 understand things,important things about yourself.
关于使命同样要记住的一点是 Important thing also to keep in mind about calling is that
它确实从某种程度上取决于 well it does depend to some extent
你工作的种类 on the kind of work that you do.
但更取决于你对工作的理解 It depends much more on your perception of the work.
我在书里讲到的研究 So the research that I talk about in the book
是关于医院里的清洁工的 is about cleaners in a hospital
他们将他们的工作视为使命 who were able to see their work as a calling.
为什么 因为他们不是将工作诠释成 Why? Because they interpret their work not as
"我必须清扫垃圾 打扫厕所" "I have to pick up the garbage and clean the toilet"-
虽然这是他们实际的工作 而是 which they actually had to do,but more as
"我在照顾这些病人 没有我的努力 "I'm taking care of these patients; because without my work,
没有我这些出色的工作 就会产生更大的污染 without me doing the excellent work,there'll be more pollution
医院里会有更多人受害" and more people hurt in the hospital.
而这些人 And these people who perceive-
这些将工作理解为使命的 these cleaners who perceive their work
清洁工会更愿意 had the calling orientation were much more likely to engage
和医院里的病人聊天 in a conversation with the patients in the hospital,
更愿意伸出援手 were much more likely to help.
有趣的是 同一家医院里的很多医生 And interestingly,many doctors from this same hospital
将他们的工作仅仅视为工作 perceive their work as a job.
你会更容易 同样没有好坏之分 Now you are more likely,again- not good,not bad it is-
你会更容易在工作中找到使命感 you are more likely to find a sense of calling in your work
如果你在单位里是领导 if you are a leader versus the janitor
而不是门卫 或者清洁工 会更容易感受到 or the cleaning person in an organization.It's more likely.
但这并不代表 However,that does not mean that the person
打扫医院的人就不能找到使命感 who cleans the hospital cannot find the calling
有很多这样的例子 and there are many examples.
Wrzensniewski在研究中给出的例子 And the examples that Wrzesniewski talks about in the research
就是比较这些清洁工和其他清洁工 are things such as comparing between cleaners and other cleaners,
比较使命和琐事 以及比较将工作 calling versus chore,between certain hair dressers
视为琐事的和将其视为使命的发型师 to see their work as a chore versus ones who see it as a calling.
我相信你们都 I'm sure that you had your haircut with your,
被将理发视为使命的发型师剪过头发 with certain hair dressers who really do see it as a calling.
我的意思是心理学家比理发师要多 I mean there are more psychologists than hair dressers.
或者工程师 有的觉得他们的工作是 Or engineers.Some just see their work-
"好吧 这是我不得不做的事 就这样吧" "OK.I have to do this.That's all I think about."
有的则从更大的角度来考虑 Versus thinking about a bigger picture.
我不是无足轻重的 我是一个很重要的项目的一部分 I'm not just a cog in a mill.I'm part of an important project.
我们可以将所有对工作的理解 We can perceive almost any work
都归于这三类 as falling into one of these three categories.
想想投资银行 Think about investment bank-
我知道你们中很多人都想去投资银行 I know many of you are going into investment banking.
一种理解投资银行的方式是 One of the ways to perceive investment banking is
"我要去那儿 我要赚大把大把的钱 "you know I'm going there.I'm going to make a big load of money.
过上舒适的生活" And I'm going to have a great life style."
这是种很重要的动力 And that is an important motivation.Again,
人们不应该完全抵制物质上的舒适 people aren't and shouldn't be impervious to material comfort.
没有关系 然而仅仅这样只看到这个的人 That's OK.However,people who only look at that,who only look-
"这能让我过上很好的生活 "OK.It's going to give me a great life style.
我要送我的孩子去最好的学校 这挺好的 I'm going to send my kids to the best schools- it's a good thing
我要住在漂亮的社区里 and I'm going to live in a beautiful neighborhood,
有一所漂亮的房子和一辆豪华的车 有很多的特权" a beautiful house and a big car- have a lot of prestige."
这是人性 这些需求都是正常的 Again,human nature.These needs- it's fine.
但仅仅看到这些的人不会快乐 But people who just look at these things will not be happy,
或者不会长期地快乐 or will not live up to their potential happiness in the long run.
但如果不仅看到投资银行的这些方面 However,if I look at investment banking as that
还看到它创造岗位的机会 而它确实如此 and also an opportunity to create jobs which it does do-
JP Morgan和他之后的 JP Morgan and all the investment bankers
所有投资银行家 创造了成千上万的岗位 who came up after him have created millions and millions of jobs
在投资银行业出现前都不存在的岗位 that would not have existed without investment banking.
而投资银行 But investment banking
也能润滑经济的齿轮 is also about lubricating the wheels of economy,that
能够提供机会 使得你能够继续 it will also provide an opportunity to then go and contribute,
不管从经济上 whether it's financially
还是知识上 奉献于非营利组织 or for my knowledge to Not for Profit organizations.
因为当今许多非营利组织最需要的 Because today what Not for Profit organizations need most
就是有效 健全 专业的财政政策 is effective sound professional fiscal policies.
而这正是你作为投资银行家 Which you'll learn as an investment banker
或者顾问 所能学到的 or a consultant or whatever it is.
有的人说"你这样看待投资银行 Now some people say,"you are rationalizing
是在给自己找借口" if you look at the investment banking as all these things."
你并不是在找借口 You are not rationalizing.
你知道你所做的是什么吗 你只是看到了事实 You know what you are doing? You are simply looking at reality.
真实的事情 不是人为制造出来的 Things that are real,that are there- they are not invented.
但很多人看不到它们 But most people do not see them,
就像很多人看不到公车上的孩子 just like most people did not see the children on the bus.
而如果你看不见它 那么你就会认为 And when you don't see something as far as you're concerned,
它不存在 it doesn't exist.
对于很多投资银行家来说 And for most investment bankers,
他们最终筋疲力竭因为他们没有 they burn out because they don't also- not only,
没有看到这份工作的积极部分 but they don't also see the positive components of that work-
如果将其当成使命就一定能看到的部分 components that certainly can fall under a calling.
许多工作 Again,most works,
无论是在医院做清洁工作 whether it's working in a hospital and taking care of cleanliness
或者是作为一个医生 whether it's working as a medical doctor,
或者是成为投资银行家 whether it's working as an investment banker,
成为老师 志愿者 和尚 不管是什么 as a teacher,as a volunteer,as monk- whatever it is,
都能被理解为工作 也能被理解为职业 can be perceived as job,can be perceived as a career,
也可以被理解为使命 and can be perceived a calling.
通常选择权都在于你 你怎么诠释它 And very often the choice is up to you.How do you interpret it?
Abraham Maslow说"没错 Abraham Maslow: "It is certainly true that
我们许多人回避了我们天生的职业 many of us evade our constitutionally suggested vocations
(使命 命运 天命 职责) (call,destiny,task in life,mission).
因此我们经常逃脱了一些本性 So often we run away from the responsibilities dictated
命运所指定(或者说暗示)的责任 (or rather suggested) by nature,by fate,
即使有时是意外的 even sometimes by accident,
就像Jonah试图逃离他的命运 最终失败了一样" just as Jonah tried-in vain-to run away from his fate."
你的命运是什么 使命是什么 天命是什么 What is your fate? What is your calling? What is your destiny?
听从暗示你天命的那个声音 Just listen to the voice that suggests your vocation.
听从指引你使命的召唤 Just listen to the call that guides you to your calling.
它是什么 问题在于 What is it? You know the problem is
我们没有花时间来思考这些问题 we don't take time to think about these questions.
有时是因为我们害怕得到答案 Sometimes because we are afraid of the answer.
万一你想去教书呢? Because what if it is teaching?
而所有来自外界的压力 You know,what about all the pressure
让你去做顾问怎么办 that I feel from the outside to go and be a consultant?
或者万一是投资银行呢 Or what if it is investment banking? What about the pressure
而来自朋友和同事的压力说 that I hear from my friends and colleagues who say
"你应该做点别的" "well you should do something else"-
用你的哈佛文凭去找更好的工作时的压力 more "noble" with your Harvard education.
最好的工作就是听从你的内心 The most noble thing is to listen to that inner voice.
因为当我们追求自己热爱的事业时 Because when we pursue our passions.
当我们追求自我和谐的目标 When we pursue a self-concordant goal
和自我和谐的奋斗过程时 我们才能真正地活着 and a self-concordant journey,that's when we come alive
才能将世界变得更美好 and that's when we also make the world a better place.
甘地说过"你必须成为你希望看到的改变" Remember Gandhi: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
如果你想让世界更快乐 就要从自己做起 And if you want a happier world,begin with yourself.
说起来容易做起来难 Easier said than done.
但这可能是你要问你自己的 But it's probably the most important question
最重要的问题 that you can ask of yourself.
而答案是有可能改变的 And by the way,that answer may change.
今天可能是这样 It may be one thing today
两年半后可能就不一样了 and be something different two and a half years from now.
二十二年半后可能又完全不一样 And it may be very different 22 and a half years from now.
或者五十年后 Or 50 years from now.
但问这个问题 如果我们真正地 But asking this question- when we really,
问自己这个问题 就有了可能性 truly ask this question,we open up possibilities
能看到我们以前看不到的东西 and see things that we may have not seen before.
打个比方 看到了公车上的孩子 Our- metaphorically speaking,children on the bus.
我们的命运 天命 职责 使命 Our fate.Our destiny.Our vocation.Our calling.
我觉得将这一点 I think it was captured best-
概括得最好的是 this whole idea by one of the students
两年前坐在你们现在坐的地方的一个学生 who sat where you are sitting just two years ago,
也是《商业中的女性》的创办人之一 also one of the cofounders of Women in Business,
Ambani Carter 她说"我们不应专注于生命中可以拥有的 Ambani Carter: Instead of focusing on what we can live with,
而应想到那些我们生命中不可或缺的 we should be thinking about what we can't live without."
少了什么你活不下去 你需要什么 What can't you live without? What are you about?
我们的下一话题 关于目标 Our next topic related to goals,
关于我们上次讲到的 related to what we discussed last time
我相信你们没有一个人能想到 is something that I'm sure none of you can relate to,
这对于你和你身边的朋友来说 something that is completely foreign to you
都是非常陌生的 and your friends sitting around you.
就是... 我没预料到会出现这样的情况 And that is not what I expected to come up on this screen,
但很快我们就会讲到的 我保证 but soon we will get to that topic,I promise.
在我们进入那个非常重要的话题之前 Just a few- before we move on to that very important topic,
我只是想制造气氛 这都是设计好的 I just want to build tension.It was all planned of course.
在我们进入那个话题之前 讲讲制定目标的一些建议 Before we get to that topic,just a few tips about setting goals.
非常基本的建议 Some basic ones.
首先 要把它们写下来 First,write them down.
写下来就是做一种承诺 You know writing them down is making a commitment,
比起只是把它们说出来 much more of a commitment than just saying them even.
最好是公开地把它们说出来 It's better to say them publicly
而不是只说给自己听 或者只是想想 than just to say them just to ourselves or think about them.
但把它们写下来完全不同 But writing them down makes a difference.
很多研究都显示了制定计划 A lot of research showing the effect of making plans,
列出并写下目标的作用 lists and writing goals.
其次 制定最早期限 Second,set lifelines.
很多人都会说"最后期限" You know people talk about deadlines.
我的妻子Tammy说"我觉得制定最早期限 Tammy,my wife says,"I think it's much more effective,
会更有效 更有帮助" much more useful to set lifelines."
也就是我们希望完成这些目标的日期 Dates by which we hope to achieve those certain goals.
为什么要制定最早期限呢 因为目标 Why lifelines? Because goals,
尤其是自我和谐的目标是可以激励我们的 especially self-concordant goals are about inspiring us.
换句话说 给我们注入活力 In other words,putting the spirit inside us.
它们使我们的生活更快乐 They are about making our life happier.
更具有活力 因此要制定最早期限 制定目标 这非常重要 More energetic.So lifelines.Setting goals.Very important.
不是"我马上就做这些事" It's not I-will-do-the-following-soonish;
而是"我在2009年7月1日前做好这些事" it's "I will do the following by the first of July,2009.
加上日期 使它们细化 Connected to this- making them specific.
换言之 不是说我马上 或者很快就会 In other words,it's not I'm going to improve sales pretty soon,
提升销量 而是 or very quickly,but rather-
我会在2008年12月31日前使销量增加5% I'm going to increase sales 5 percent by December 31,2008.
具体的最早期限 以及具体的目标 Specific lifeline as well as specific project.
同样 比如说我想健身 Also,let's say that I want to become fit.
不是一般的"我想要更苗条健康" It's not just the generic "I want to become fitter";
而是"我要在2008年10月15日前 it's rather "I'm going to run 5 miles,
每周跑四次步 每次5英里" 明确 具体的目标 4 times a week by October 15,2008." Concrete.Specific.
我们讲过 Remember what we talked about-
制定目标最重要的不是在于完成这些目标 the most important thing about goals is not achieving those goals
不是说我们会因为完成就感到高兴 It's not that is what would make us happy or sad
或者没完成就悲伤 if we do or don't achieve them.
其关键在于给予我们能量 给予我们动力 使我们自由 The key is to energize us,to motivate us,to liberate us,
是通往最终目的的一种方式 to contribute as a means toward the end-
而最终目的是过程本身 the end being the journey.
是那些最有助于这个过程的目标或者 The goals that facilitate the journey best or goals
我们所拥有的 that we actually have-
不是所有 但一部分 完成了一半的目标 not all goals,but some goals- 50 percent of achieving.
就像肯尼迪在1962年提出的目标 It's the goals such as Kennedy set in 1962,
"我们要在这十年中登上月球" "we will reach the moon by the end of the decade,"
而那时能够忍受 at the time when the metal that
飞到外太空以及回到地球所产生的高温的 was necessary to withstand the heat of getting out of the space
金属都还没发明出来 and coming back to earth was not even invented.
那时他们 It was at a time
都还没有能将人送往月球 when they did not have the technology on numerous levels to send,
并使其着陆的技术 to land a person on the moon.
然而他宣布了这个目标 And yet,he declared that goal that
"十年内我们要做到" 这给予了NASA动力 "by the end of the decade,we will do it." It energized NASA-
有些人觉得他疯了 但它确实给予了他们动力 some people thought he was crazy,but it energized them.
而在1969年后 And you know,after 1969,
NASA动力严重减少 NASA experienced a real drop in their motivation,
热情急剧减退 一直持续到80年代中期 in their passion.Until essentially the mid 80s.
因为他们没有类似的激励性的目标了 Because they didn't have a similar inspiring goal.
在个人水平上同样可以看到 We see it also in the individual level.
我在书里也说道 And I talked about it in the book,
当人们有了目标而没有实现这些目标 where people had goals and then did not achieve these goals,
或者实现了目标却没有制定新目标时 or achieve these goals and did not set new goals.
他们就会感到精疲力竭 失去动力 And they felt enervated,and very often,uninspired.
要明确目标 Stretch goals.
Ellen Langer做了以下研究 Ellen Langer did the following research:
聚集一组人 bringing in a group of people
将他们介绍给成功的科学家和发明家 and introduce them to highly successful scientists and inventors.
然后告诉他们 And she asked them-
这些是世界知名的科学家 these were you know world famous,world class performers-
然后她让这些人 and she asked these individuals,
让这些学生评估这些成功人士 these students to assess these very successful individuals
然后问"你觉得你有多大可能达到他们的水平" and then to say,"how likely are you to reach their level?"
然后他们给了这些人非常高的评价 And they assess them extremely highly.
尊重他们 敬仰他们 They respect them.They admire them.
说自己永远达不到他们的水平 And they said that they are unlikely to achieve their level.
然后她又召集了另一群学生 And then,she brought a second group of students
带他们去见同样的人 and she got them to look at the exact same individuals-
同一批非常成功的科学家 发明家 same highly successful scientists,inventors,
一个举动改变世界的人 people who really made it with one difference.
她还介绍了他们走向成功之路的 She also introduced some of the characteristics
一些过程和特点 of their path toward greatness.
比如说经历的失败 For example,failures on the way.
不安 失望 坎坷 Insecurity.Disappointments.Hardships.
以及他们最终是怎样从这边跨越到另一边的 And how they actually got from point A to point B.
然后她让他们评价这些成功人士 And she asked them to evaluate them.
他们同样给了这些人很高的评价 And they respected them highly,just as much.
而当她问 And when she asked
"你觉得你有多大可能达到他们的水平"时 回答则是有可能 "how likely are you to achieve those goals," - much more likely.
我们都知道 信仰是自我实现的预言 And as we know,beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies.
长期成功的最佳预言者 No.1 predictor of long term success.
此外 是John Carlton做的研究 In addition- the John Carlton research,
除了不断地问问题 in addition to constantly asking questions,
重要的是相信你能做到 it's believing that you can do well.
如果我们只看结果不看过程 And if we only look at the outcome and not the journey,
我们比较不容易相信 we are much less likely to believe that
我们能取得这样的结果 we can attain this outcome.
使成功破灭 Breaking down successes.
Langer说"人们能想象到自己的每一步 Langer said,"People can imagine themselves taking steps,
但却觉得高峰是难以攀登的" while great heights seem entirely forbidden."
制定一个长期目标 Have a long term goal
然后将其拆分为短期或者中期的目标 and then break it down to short term or medium term goal.
短期目标 Short term goal.
然后制定计划 基于这些计划建立习惯 And then make plans and then create rituals based on these plans.
一步一步来 将成功细化 Step by step.Breaking down achievement.
就会更容易相信那是可能的 Much more likely to believe that's possible
也就更容易确实到达那个目标 and consequently much more likely to actually get there.
女士们先生们 And now ladies and gentlemen,
你们等待已久的时刻 the moment you've all been waiting for.
一些你们都不熟悉的东西 Something that none of you are familiar with.
你们可能没有仔细想过 That you may not be able to connect to,
但是是一种... 请让我说完 我会讲的 but something that- please indulge me and I'll talk about.
压力 我在课堂开始时问 Stress.So I asked at the beginning of the class
"有谁想要少点压力的" "who wants to experience less stress".
你们大多数人都举了手 Most of you put your hand up.
压力是一种全球性的 不仅限于美国或西方社会 而是全球的通病 Stress is a global- not American,not Western- global epidemic.
在这节课最后 By the end of this class,
这二十分钟里 我希望我们都像这样 within 20 minutes,my hope is that we all look like this.
如果你们没到21就去掉啤酒 Minus the beer if you are not 21 yet.
处理压力最重要的一点 Now the most important thing when dealing with stress-
这是一种全球性的严重的流行病 and again,it is a global,very problematic epidemic-
我们讲到拖延症 we talk about procrastination.
我出现拖延症时会这样做 This is what I do when I procrastinate.
我去Google图片搜索这样的东西 I go on Google image and look for things like that.
然后告诉自己这是你工作的一部分 And I tell myself it's part of your work.
这很重要 It's important.Yeah.
这是关于认知重建的 It's all about cognitive reframing.
在处理压力时 我们所要做的就是抽出点时间 When dealing with stress,what we need to do is take time out.
我来和你们分享一下 我以前讲过的 Let me share with you- again,I have talked about this before.
摘自《新英格兰医学杂志》 This is from the New England Journal of Medicine,
是由我们学校的Richard Kadison写的一篇文章 an article written by our very own,Richard Kadison.
他是本校心理咨询处的负责人 He's the head of the mental health services here.
"在一项针对全国13500个大学生的调查中 "In a recent national survey of 13,500 college students,
近45%表示非常抑郁 nearly 45 percent reported being so depressed
以至于没法工作学习 that they had difficulty functioning,
94%表示对于他们做的事 and 94 percent reported feeling overwhelmed
感到了过大的压力" by everything they had to do.”
45% 45 percent.You know,people,
人们问我哈佛的课程情况 when they ask me about the class at Harvard-
事实上那课程还挺有名的 他们说 the fact that it's a popular class,they say,
"是因为在哈佛吗 "is it because it's Harvard?
是因为在哈佛压力比较大吗" 不是的 Is it because at Harvard there's more stress?" No,there isn't.
事实上 当Crimson做了类似的调查后 In fact,when the Crimson did,ask similar question,
他们发现在哈佛是47% they found at Harvard 47 percent.
所以其实没有区别 So really,no difference.
这是全国性的 不管是哪个大学 Nationwide- regardless of which university,
哪个学院 which college you go to.
这非常令人吃惊 我震惊了 This is startling.I mean,I was shocked.
过去16年里我都在大学校园里 I know- I've been on college campus for the last 16 years.
我知道情况是怎样 但我还是对这个数字很惊讶 I know the situation.But I was even surprised by this number.
而且这不是我们平时一天要经历十遍的 And this is not the regular ups and downs
正常情绪起伏 that we go through 10 times a day.
而是会导致无法工作学习的抑郁 This is depression to the point of not functioning.
怎么解释这45%呢 How can we explain it? The 45 percent.
通过看这94% 让我说得具体一点 By looking at the 94 percent.Let me be more specific.
可以看到 今天的学生要做的事太多了 You see,students today clearly have too much to do.
当我还是Leverett宿舍的一个住校教师 When I was a resident tutor in Leverett House,
因为我的博士学位是商学院的 given that my PHD was also from the business school,
我当时还是个预备商学教师 my role was a pre business tutor.
所以我当时做的事 你们很多人都知道 So what I did,as many of you know,
我看学生们的简历 was I looked at students' resumes,
履历 然后帮他们润色 the CVs and helped them hone it,
使其更适用于他们找工作的 make it better for the recruiting process or other processes
招聘及其他环节 where they were looking for work.
令我非常惊讶的是 每年 And it really amazed me that just about every year,
几乎每年 简历都愈发令人印象深刻 just about every year,the resumes became more impressive.
字体更小 标题更大 页边距更窄 Smaller fonts,bigger titles,narrower margins.
每一年 老一辈进入哈佛的人 Each year,you know,very often,the older generation says-
他们会说 who have gone to Harvard- they say,
"放在今天我肯定进不了哈佛" "I wouldn't have got into Harvard today."
确实是这样 很不幸 但这是真的 It's true! It's unfortunate,but it's true.
当我看到这些简历时 感到印象非常深刻 And I looked at these resumes and I was very impressed.
我会说"哇" 直到我注意到学生们 And I said,"wow." Until I noticed a price that students-
为了这更小的字体和更窄的页边距所付出的代价 you,me- were paying for the smaller fonts and narrower margins.
这代价就是过度紧张不安 And the price is that we feel overwhelmed,
太多要做的事 压力 焦虑 too much to do,stress,anxiety.
结果导致 And as a result of it-
有许多数据能支持这一点 and there's a lot of data supporting this error-
结果导致了更大可能的抑郁 as a result of this,higher likelihood of depression.
这种情况我们时常会在大学校园见到 And this is what we see on college campuses.
会在整个国家各处见到 This is what we see around the country.
会在世界到处见到 This is what we see around the world.
我最近刚从中国回来 Because I recently returned from China-
并没有很大的差别 not very different from this.
我最近也去过澳大利亚 也与此非常相似 I recently came from Australia- very similar to this.
在过短的时间内希望完成过多的事 Try to fit in too many things in too little time:
学更多的课 参加更多的学生社团 taking more courses,being part of more student organizations.
这是需要付出代价的 这就是她 And that has...That exacts a price.OK.Here she is.
心理学家 独一无二的Ellen DeGeneres The psychologist- the one and only Ellen DeGeneres
在谈论国家大事 talking about the state of affairs.
我觉得有一天情景喜剧只需要30秒 I believe some days sitcoms will be 30 seconds long.
因为我们只需要这么长的时间 Cause that's all we need.
我们的注意力就只能维持这么长时间 That's all our attention span can take.
因为我们的注意力维持时间很短 Cause our attention span is short.
我们都有注意力缺乏症 We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder
或者说ADD 或者OCD(强迫症) 或者这种三个字母的病 or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters
因为我们没有时间和 because we don't have the time
耐心来把整个病的名字说完 or patience to pronounce the entire disorder.
应该有一个这样的病 TBD-过于忙碌症 That should be a disorder right there,TBD - too busy disorder.
天气预报可能是新闻最快乐的部分了 The weather is actually the happiest part of the news
因为你们就能不时听到些积极的东西 because at some point you're going to hear something positive.
你们可以听到"今天天气不错" You're going to hear"it's a beautiful day".
或者"今天将会有个好天气" Or "it's going to be a beautiful day".
听积极的东西总是很好的 And it's nice to take in something positive.
因为我们总是听到那些消极的东西 Because we hear all these negative stuff all the time
我们外面的世界如此混乱 and we go out into the world so chaotic
以至于都没办法注意到天气很好 and we're not going to notice it's a beautiful day.
我们的节奏太快以至于无法注意到 We are moving too fast to even pay atention to that.
我们需要帮助来追赶这节奏 And we need help to keep up with that pace
所以我们在这建一个咖啡店 so we put a coffee shop here
这里建一个咖啡店 那里建一个咖啡店 and a coffee shop here and a coffee shop here.
最小的咖啡店叫"大咖啡" And the smallest coffee is "Tall".And
我会要一杯咖啡伴一罐红牛 因为我很忙很忙! I'll have a coffee and a side red bull cause I'm very very busy!
我患了TBD 我的瑜伽课要迟到了 快 快点! I've got TBD and I'm late for yoga..Hurry hurry!
TBD应该被收进DSM里 Dr.Tal Ben-Shahar:TBD should be part of the DSM.Really should be.
我们为这个TBD付出了很高的代价 We pay a very high price for this TBD.
首先 心理健康 First of all,psychological health-
抑郁症最容易导致的后果之一 生理健康 one of the best predictors of depression.Physical health.
许多医生估计约80%我们的生理疾病 Many doctors estimate about 80 percent of our physical ailments
是由于压力所致 使我们的免疫系统变弱 are result of stress,weaken our immune system.
最后 当下 今年 And finally,today,this year,
旷工的最大原因 全球来说 the No.1 cause for loss of days at work globally
是关于我们的心理的 is something related to our psychology,
不管是压力 或者情感 感觉 经历 whether it's stress,or related emotions,feelings,experiences.
过去从没有这样 It never used to be that in the past.
如今则是因为心理的原因 Today it's psychological reasons.
我们付出的代价 And we pay a price
不仅是效率 还有创造力 both in terms of our productivity as well as creativity.
回想拓延-建构理论 Think back to the broaden and build theory:
当我们处于压力下时 更容易变得狭隘和约束 when we are stressed,we are more likely to narrow and constrict,
相比于在盒子外思考来说 as opposed to think outside the box.
好了 那我们该如何处理这种压力呢 All right.So what do we do with this stress?
该怎么应对呢 让我们应用积极心理学 What do we do with it? Let's use positive psychology.
因为这确实是我们希望 Because it really is a problem that
能够解决的问题 we want to be able to deal with,
至少我个人 that I know,certainly,personally,
很早就想解决它了 it's a problem that I dealt with for very long time.
传统的问题 So the conventional question,
传统的心理学家会问 the traditional psychologist question was
"为什么这么多人压力过大" "why are so many people stressed?"
这是非常重要的 非常好的问题 An important question,good question,
能够引出很多好的回答 但仍然不够 question that yielded many great answers but not enough.
然后积极心理学出现了 And then positive psychologists came in.
而他们所做的是 同样问一些积极地问题 And what they did was ask also the positive question.
就像 Just like
我们在讲到关于危险人群的研究时说过 when we talked about the research with at risk population.
就像Marva Collins曾经问过一个不一样的问题 Just like Marva Collins asked a different question.
因为问题能打开思路 Because questions open up avenues,
探索我们之前可能没有见过的东西 quests that we may have not seen before.
这样问题就变成"那些成功的 And the question became "what do those who were successful
过着健康快乐生活的人是怎么做的" and able to lead a healthy and happy life do?"
换句话说 关注起作用的事物 In other words,focusing on what works.
也就是关注茎尖端的芽 In other words,focusing on tip of the stem.
因为虽然很多人都压力过大 但不是所有人都这样 Because while most people are stressed,not all of them are.
有一些人能够很成功 There are people who are able to be successful
同时过着健康和快乐的生活 and at the same time,lead a health and happy life.
他们是怎么做的 他们做了些什么 他们是这样做的 What do they do? What is it about them? Here is what they do.
人们发现 What was found was that
他们有一些特别的特质 有两点 there are some distinguishing characteristics- two of them:
他们为自己建立例行公事 they set rituals for themselves
我们之前讲过例行公事的 and we talked about rituals in the past;
第二件事 the second thing that they do-
也就是我现在要详细讲的 and this is what I'm going to elaborate on now-
他们所做的第二件事 除了建立例行公事 the second thing that they do,in addition to having rituals,
不管是很多的例行公事 whether it's a lot of rituals,
还是寥寥几件 视乎个人需要和个人差异 or few rituals,depending on individual needs and differences.
除了建立例行公事 In addition to setting rituals,
他们还特别地不仅为工作 还为恢复也建立了例行公事 they particularly set rituals for both work and for recovery.
让我来解释一下 解释一下 Let me explain.Let me explain.
我现在要说的是 What I'm going to say now
心理学家以前没有意识到的 is some thing that psychologists did not see before,
因为它就像公车上的孩子一样隐藏着 because it was hidden just like the children on the bus
或者被第一个问题掩盖着 or hidden by the first question.
只有问了第二个问题 It was only after asking the second question
他们才会注意到 that they notice this.
他们注意到这些人将工作和恢复 What they noticed was that these individuals ritualize work
例行公事化 本质上他们发现的是 and recovery and in essence what they found-
这是我觉得研究压力时所得的最惊人的结果 this is the most surprising result in my mind in studying stress-
那就是问题其实不在于压力 is that stress was actually not the problem.
我们找错了地方 We were looking in the wrong place.
事实上他们发现压力对我们是有好处的 In fact,what they found was stress was good for us!
压力实际上培养了我们的忍耐性 That stress actually cultivated resilience,
力量 并且从长远来讲让我们更快乐 strength and helped us be happier in the long run.
稍等片刻 Wait a minute.
这是什么意思呢 想想下面这个类比 What does that mean? Well,think about the following analogy.
想想运动方面 Think about the physical realm.
你发生了什么 What happens to you,
你去健身房时实际上发生了什么呢 what actually happens to you when you go to the gym?
当你去健身房 你举重时 when you go to the gym,you lift weights.
你对你的肌肉做了什么 你在给你的肌肉压力! What are you doing to your muscle? You are stressing your muscle!
事实上 In fact,
你其实就在... 你的细胞在偷偷流泪 you are carrying part of the- there are micro tears in your cells.
请问这是坏事吗 你所做的事是坏事吗 Now is this a bad thing? That you are doing that?
完全不是 这是件好事 Not at all! It's a good thing.
因为你举重 然后两天之后 Because you lift weights and then two days later,
再去举重 you lift these weights again.
然后下周 你接着举重 And the next week,you continue lifting these weights.
长此以往 And on and on.
你举了一个月 两个月 四个 六个月 You do it for a month and two and four months and six months.
然后举了一年的重之后 你就会像我一样 And after a year of lifting weights,you begin to look like me!
或者也不会 所以压力其实对我们是有好处的 Or maybe not.So the stress part is actually good for us.
那真正的问题是什么呢 What's the problem though?
比如说压缩肌肉时 问题是从什么时候开始的呢 When do the problems begin with stressing those muscles?
是你去举重 然后一分钟之后 It's when you lift weights,and a minute later,
你又去举重 you lift the same weights again,
然后不断举 不断举 不断不断地举 and again,and again,and again,and so on and so on.
然后会发生的事就是 What would happen to you then,
如果你不休息 不管是运动之间的休息 if you don't take a break,whether it's a break between sessions,
或者是休息几天 那么会发生什么呢 whether it's break,days break? What happens to you then?
你就会受伤 到时你就会受伤 That's when you get injured.That's when you get hurt.
那时你的肌肉就会拉伤 That's when you actually tear or pull a muscle.
那时你就会锻炼过度 That's when you become over-worked-
这既有生理上 也有心理上的影响 and that has psychological as well as physical effects.
这时候你就是锻炼过度了 That's when you are over-trained.
换言之 问题不在于压力 In other words,the problem is not stress,
不是生理上的问题 也不是心理上的问题 not on the physical level,nor on the psychological level.
问题在于缺少恢复 The problem is lack of recovery.
那些既成功又快乐幸福的人 Individuals who are both successful,happy,thriving,
是会感受到压力的 flourishing are ones who do experience stress.
然而他们很注重恢复 However,they also pay very close attention to recovery.
就好像在座的任何运动员都知道 Just like any athlete here in this room knows that
你们会有调整期 在重要比赛前都会有休息 you have tapering,you have time-off before important games.
你们不会每天去举重 You don't lift the same weights day in and day out.
从心理层面上讲也是这样 The same thing on the psychological level.
如果我们不懂得休息 If we don't take breaks,
我们会付出代价 在生理层面上 我们会受伤 we will pay a price- on the physical level,we get injured;
在心理层面上 on the psychological level,
我们会感觉到焦虑 最终可能导致抑郁 we experience anxiety,ultimately,potentially depression.
压力没有关系 它是好事 Stress is fine.It's good.
如果我们能恢复 它有时甚至是很令人兴奋的 It's exciting at times,if we also have recovery.
我想和你们再分享一些 I want to share with you now some more ideas
我之前提过的书里写的东西 from the book that I talked about before,
《精力管理》 "The Power of Full Engagement"-
我非常推荐你们读这本书 that again,I highly recommend you read.
也许在春假时你们可以读一读 Maybe over your spring break.
Tony Schwartz和Jim Loehr想说的是 And what Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr talk about,
我们所要做的是将我们对生活的理解 is that what we need to do is change our perception of our day
从马拉松运动员变为短跑运动员 from being marathon runners to being sprinters,
从不停地跑 跑 跑 from going on and on and on
变为短跑 恢复 短跑 恢复 to sprinting,recovery,sprinting,recovery.
这个想法 这个想法改变了我的人生 That understanding,that understanding changed my life.
我曾经是个马拉松运动员 我是指在工作上 I was a marathon runner,metaphorically- meaning at work.
我每天工作14个小时 I used to work 14 hours a day.
我热爱我的工作 非常努力 I loved my work.I worked extremely hard.
然后我决定结婚生子 And then I decided to get married and to have children.
我知道因此可能一切会变得不一样 And I knew that things would change as a result of that.
我说"好吧 我必须妥协 And I said,"OK.I have to compromise.
我只能一天工作少于14个小时 I have to work less than 14 hours a day,
如果我想和我的妻子以及孩子 if I want to maintain a healthy relationship
保持良好的关系的话" with my spouse and with my kids."
我某种程度上有点失望 但我有我优先的考虑 And it disappointed me to some extent,but I have my priorities.
我做了这样的决定 And I made a choice.
然后我遇到了Tony Schwartz And then I met Tony Schwartz,
他只用了几分钟就改变了我的观念 who within a few minutes changed my perception,
改变了我对我的人生应该是怎么样的理解 my understanding of what my day can and ought to look like.
当他跟我说时 我立即意识到就应该是这样的 And when he explained to me this,it made immediate sense.
我开始应用它 I started to implement it.
而今天我可能没有一天工作14小时 And today I may not be as productive as I was
那么有效率 但也十分接近了 when I worked for 14 hours a day,but very close to it.
而我显然更快乐了 And I'm certainly happier.
我比还是个"马拉松运动员"时更有创造力 And I'm more creative than I was when I was a marathoner.
他的建议是这样的 And here is his suggestion-
他书里讲到这样一个东西 one of the things that he talks about in the book;
这是我推荐的一种习惯 this is a ritual that I recommend and it is:
用一到两个小时 也就是大约一个半小时 have 60 to 120 minutes,so around 90 minutes
来"短跑" 专注地工作 精力非常集中 of sprint,work,concentrate,focus hard,go for it.
然后在那之后 "短跑"之后 And then after that,after you sprint,
在尽可能少分心的情况下 with as little distraction as possible,
用十五分钟来恢复 have 15 minutes or so of recovery.
心理学家发现我们能够"短跑" What psychologist found is essentially we are able to sprint,
能够专注 按照我们的生物钟 to focus,according to our bio-rhythms,
能持续一到两个小时 每个人可能不同 between 60 and 120 minutes- it differs.
有些人是一个小时 有些人可以持续两小时 Some people are more 60; others can do it for two hours.
平均是一个半小时 "短跑"之后 休息十五分钟 Average: 90 minutes.After you sprint,take 15 minutes off,
可以是冥想 whether it's for meditation,
听你最喜欢的音乐 listening to your favorite piece of music;
也可以是去健身 whether it's for going to the gym-
可以多于十五分钟 但至少要十五分钟 can be of course more than 15 minutes,but at least 15 minutes;
吃午饭 休息一下 但在午饭时 having lunch,having a break- and during lunch,
不收邮件 不接电话 not doing emails and being on the phone,
那些只会增加焦虑 which only adds to the stress-
而是和朋友一起或独自完全放松 really relaxing with friends or by ourselves.
如果我们的一天是 And when we have a day that
短跑 恢复 短跑 恢复 structured with sprint,recovery,sprint,recovery,
我们就能持续 that's when we can sustain,
能够维持高水平的精力 when we have a higher levels of energy,
做更多的工作 并且更快乐 when we get the most done and when we are happiest.
我现在的生活就是如此 This is my day now.
我的一天就是短跑 恢复 短跑 恢复 My day comprises sprint,recovery,sprint,recovery.
我能做更多的工作 I'm able to get so much more done.
我理想的一天就是一个半小时工作 十五分钟冥想 My ideal day,work day is 90 minutes,15 minutes meditation;
一个半小时 午餐 一个半小时 运动 90 minutes,lunch; 90 minutes,work out;
一个半小时 回家和家人在一起 90 minutes,home with family.
我一天净工作6个小时 Actually net- I work for 6 hours a day.
但在这6个小时中 But in those 6 hours,
我能做比十小时还多的事 更不用说 I get more than I would have in 10- not to mention the fact
我更快乐 并且更有创造性了 that I am happier and more creative doing it.
这样的关键在于维持灵活性 The key when doing it is to maintain flexibility,
因为... 对我来说理想的一天是这样的 because- again,the ideal day for me would be that.
然而总是有一些别的事 However,there are other things,
比如我经常出差 我要教课 you know- I travel a lot; I teach a class.
在这种时候 我不在电脑旁 During those times,let's say I'm not by my computer,
写东西或做研究 writing or doing research- again,
但是因为这些事对我来说很重要 because these are important things to me.
所以我会做的是 比如说 So what would I have done for example
我要十个一个半小时的时间段 is say I want ten 90 minutes sessions,
例行的每周十个一个半小时时间段 the ritual of ten 90 minutes session a week.
有一些这种时间段是在飞机上 这没关系 Some of these 90 minutes sessions are on a flight and that's OK.
有一些时间段我在家里或者在办公室里 Some of these 90 minutes sessions are at home or in my office.
但每周至少要有十个 通常多于十个 But at least ten,usually more than ten,
一个半小时的时间段 当我做到时 我很快乐 90 minutes sessions a week.And when I have it,I'm happy.
我感觉很好 我做了很多事 又比如瑜伽的习惯 I feel good.I get a lot done.Also,the ritual of yoga.
维持灵活性 Maintain flexibility there.
对我来说很困难的一件事就是 So one of the things that are difficult for me
每天留出45分钟或一个小时的时间段 is to introduce a 45 minutes or one hour session a day.
但瑜伽对我来说很重要 And yoga is important for me.
它使我感觉良好 It makes me feel good.
我在放假回来之后会谈到关于它的研究 And I'll talk about the research around it after break.
所以我所做的是 拆分瑜伽的时间段 So what I started to do was breaking down yoga sessions and
现在那15分钟的间隔有时是15分钟的瑜伽 now part of my 15 minutes in between is 15 minute yoga,sunset
15分钟的日落瑜伽 For 15 minutes
然后下一个15分钟做另一种瑜伽练习 and then the next 15 minutes is another part of yoga practice.
所以我将瑜伽拆分成每天两到三个时间段 So I break yoga into two or three sessions a day instead of one.
又是例行公事的灵活性 Again,the flexibility of ritual.
这对我来说有用 非常有效 And that for me works.Works very well.
关键在于 我最后要讲讲这个 The key is,and I am going to end with this-
关键在于保证不同程度的恢复 the key is to attain multi-level recovery.
第一种恢复 从最小的级别 First recovery: on the micro level.
15分钟的冥想 一小时健身 15 minutes meditation,one hour of gym,
或者是午餐休息 随便什么 whatever it is,a lunch break.
中间级别的恢复就是睡一个好觉 Middle: mezo level recovery and that is a good night sleep.
我们会讲到睡觉的重要性 We'll talk about the importance of sleep-
睡眠是对幸福 对快乐 对创造力 sleep is a good investment for well being,
以及对你的记忆力的重要投资 happiness as well as for you creativity,for your memory.
睡眠很重要 每周都要休息一天 Sleep is important.A day off during the week.
即使上帝也需要一天的休息 我们的生活也是这样 Even God needed a day off.Implemented in our lives.
最后就是假期 J.P.Morgan说过 And finally,those vacations.Remember J.P.Morgan:
"我可以一年工作九个月 "I can do the work of a year in 9 months,
但不能工作12个月" 娱乐带来创造力 but not in 12." Recreation leads to creation.
记住这一点 请记住这一点 So remember that.Remember that.
下周二我们会在这里进行期中考试 Next week,we meet on Tuesday here for the midterm.
周四不用上课 记住假期就应该 Thursday- we don't have class.And remember the vacation.
好好地享受 祝你们好运 假期后见 Take time.Enjoy it.And good luck.See you after break.